Chapter 32 - Save Your Tears
Kurt had been home for approximately four hours when there was a rhythmic knock at the door. He prayed to himself that Blaine wouldn't try to ambush him, though he had been expecting it. Even though they had broken up after infidelity, Blaine was still texting him and trying to get other people to speak to him, something that Kurt had no intention of doing. He wanted a clean break, chance to heal from the trauma that he was going through.
Even in the time before the cheating, his relationship with Blaine had its difficulties. The Chandler and Sebastian incidents, the West Side Story debacles, Blaine's jealousy over his brother, and even his animosity towards Sam, about which Kurt had thoroughly chewed him out and demanded that he apologise. Blaine never did.
Kurt sighed as he stood up from his chair, still wondering who could've been at his door. He wasn't due to meet the other New Directions alumni at Breadstix until eight, so surely it wouldn't have been them. Perhaps Mercedes missed him just a little too much and needed to see him earlier. He absently hoped Rachel hadn't gone back on her plans to stay in New York. As much as he loved her, he needed a break from her and Brody. They cohabitated like rabbits and privacy curtains weren't a suitable noise blocker. Kurt often wondered if Brody didn't have his own apartment where they could go, but Rachel would complain that she needed her rest for another day at NYADA, a place she was quick to remind Kurt that he didn't attend yet.
He pulled the door open and saw a handsome brunette guy around his own age or perhaps a little older. The guy had his head down, hands shoved in his pockets.
Kurt raised his eyebrow a little at the unfamiliar face. "May I help you?"
The guy's head snapped up and his eyes were blotchy. "Are you…Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt bit his lip. "Who wants to know?"
His lip quivered. "I…never mind. I shouldn't have come here."
"Wait," Kurt sighed. "Just…are you okay? Do you need some water or something?"
"No, it's okay, I should go."
Kurt folded his arms. "I can't just leave you crying on my doorstep can I? What kind of person would that make me?"
"Still better than me, I'd imagine," The guy muttered despondently.
Kurt's heart sank for this boy, who was obviously going through something and needed his help. "Who told you where to find me?"
The guy sniffled and blinked harshly. "That's…a bit of story. Actually, it's what I came here to tell you."
Kurt frowned. "How did you know I was home?"
The guy sighed. "Again, that's part of the story. I know you probably don't want to know, but I needed to let it out."
For a second, Kurt thought that he might have been one of the new Glee kids, but realised he was definitely too old and also didn't resemble anyone in the group picture that Finn had sent him.
In that moment, Kurt made a decision. "Would you like to come in?"
"Seriously? You'd let me?"
"Well it's pretty cold out here and I'd also like to get inside. I couldn't live with myself if I let you wander around like this."
Kurt moved to let the guy inside and closed the door behind them both. "The living room is just to the left. Can I get you something to drink?"
"That water would be nice, thank you."
Kurt smiled at the guy's manners, rare from someone in Lima, and stepped into the kitchen to fix the glass. He held the ice cubes as it was already cold enough in the Ohio winter and took the glass back to the guy.
The guy nodded gratefully. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Um…could I get your name? Just so I know who's in my house."
The guy sighed heavily like the revelation was going to ruin him. "My name is Eli." He paused for the explosion, but none came.
Kurt just nodded and sat down opposite him. "Eli, that's a lovely name. Now, you said you wanted to tell me a story?"
Eli nodded, his eyebrows furrowing painfully. He wondered why Kurt hadn't already thrown him out, belatedly realising that Kurt might not know his proper identity. "Okay, so I'm going to start with the thing that might cause you to beat me up or kick me out or both. If you don't, I'll tell you the rest, but I understand completely if you don't want to listen to me afterwards."
Kurt held still for a moment, trying to predict what Eli might be talking about. He came up empty. "Okay, I'll try my best to hear you out."
Eli took a deep breath. "I…I'm the guy who Blaine was with."
That was something that hadn't occurred to Kurt. His heart dropped as he realised that he'd never gotten the name of the man Blaine had been with, just assuming that he had given into his urges where Sebastian was concerned. He was stupid to not pry, though he was going through a stage where he wanted as little to do with Blaine as possible.
He cleared his throat and took a sip of his own water. "Oh. Um…okay. Thank you for telling me. I didn't know who it had been."
Eli sipped his water and smiled sadly. "I figured when I said my name and you didn't react. Would you like me to leave?"
"No, I'd like to hear you out," Kurt decided quickly. "Blaine didn't tell me a lot. But I'd like to ask my questions, rather than hear the whole story if that's okay?"
Eli nodded profusely. "Yes, of course, Kurt. Whatever you want."
Kurt stared Eli straight in the eye. "Did he top?"
Eli gaped, not expecting Kurt to come out with something so specific right off the bat. "Um…Kurt, are you sure you want to…"
"Please, Eli. It might not seem important to you, but it's important to me."
"I did."
"Right. Did it happen more than once?"
"Just once. He left right after it happened."
Kurt nodded. "He told me you arranged it on Facebook. Who came onto who?"
Eli paled. "I came onto him. But Kurt, I—."
"I'm still asking questions. Did he contact you after he left?"
"He…he left some things at my place. I texted him and he came to get them. That's it."
Kurt swallowed heavily. "Do you have feelings for him or vice versa?"
"No, god. No, Kurt."
Kurt didn't know whether that made him feel better or worse. If Blaine had been in love with Eli, it meant that he couldn't ignore his feelings and needed to act on them, which Kurt supposed that deep down he could understand. Feelings were new and exciting and powerful. But it just being a casual hookup meant that Blaine didn't care who it was, only that it wasn't Kurt.
"When did you friend each other on Facebook?"
"About a year ago, I think. We…"
Kurt dipped his head, urging Eli to continue.
"We met at Scandals, you were there too, I remember."
Kurt's breath hitched. That night had been a catastrophe and he was right to predict that it was causing the end of their relationship, he just didn't realise it would be a year later. "Did anything happen at Scandals?"
Eli shook his head. "I was interested, but he said that he was there with some other guy."
"That's how you realised it was me?"
"Uh…look, Kurt I don't want to lie to you. But I also don't want to hurt your feelings."
Kurt frowned. "I think you've already done enough to hurt me, Eli. Just say whatever it is you want to say."
Eli readied himself and took a breath. "You were at the bar talking to some guy when I was with Blaine. He pointed in your general direction when he mentioned being there with someone. But then I asked for specifics and he didn't point to you. It was…some other guy in the nice striped shirt. He was cute, I guess, but…"
Kurt took that in with a small sigh. Blaine had made out like he was there with Sebastian that night at Scandals, probably because he was embarrassed by being out there with Kurt, who wasn't a gay bar superstar or anything of the sort. "So you knew he had a boyfriend."
Eli nodded. "Then I did. Not when I messaged him. His Facebook status was single."
Kurt gaped. "No, it wasn't. We'd been Facebook official since we got together."
Kurt got out his phone and went onto the Facebook app, searching for the dissolution of his relationship. He got to the part that said that Blaine was recently single. He held it out for Eli to look at. His eyes widened.
"You see, you can't lie to me about that."
Eli shook his head. "Kurt, I didn't. That's…not the profile I was messaging."
"But you were messaging Blaine?"
"Yeah. Hang on, I can show you the profile if you want?"
Kurt nodded, bitter that Blaine hadn't blocked Eli even after the realisation of his supposed mistake.
Eli made quick work of finding it and held his phone out to Kurt.
Kurt perused the profile and, sure enough, it was different. There was a different picture, of Blaine shirtless on the beach, the only photos uploads were him in various states of undress, and his relationship status was single. There were no posts about Kurt, nothing even about school or the Warblers, just Blaine's musings about being gay, life, and his exciting summer plans. Kurt scrolled the friends list, hoping not to see any familiar names besides Eli. He couldn't even see Sebastian's name on there which should've told Kurt something.
He growled. "I…hold on."
He checked the 'About' tab and saw the conception date. The profile had been created shortly after Kurt's junior prom, in which Blaine had so wonderfully stepped into dance with him despite his own bad experiences with school dances. It had been the moment that Kurt had envisioned a future with Blaine so finding out it hadn't clearly meant as much to Blaine…well, it really hurt, along with the rest of his former relationship.
Kurt looked back to Eli, tears shining in his eyes. "How did you find out?"
Eli swallowed. "I got a call from someone, a friend of yours I think…Santana, is it?"
Kurt nodded gravely. "I'm sorry on her behalf for whatever she might have said."
"It was mostly in Spanish which I took at school so I managed to pick up a few words. She switched to English to make sure I instead I was the 'scourge of humanity'."
Kurt sighed. "She's very protective of me."
"Yeah, no kidding."
"If it makes you feel any better, she said far worse about Blaine."
"It really doesn't."
Kurt smiled lightly. "You don't need to feel guilty about this, Eli. You didn't know Blaine was taken so, from your perspective, you just hooked up with someone. Blaine was the one who cheated on me. And the fact that you came over here to apologise and explain…that takes guts. So I thank and respect you for that."
Eli nodded. "That makes me feel a little better. Thanks, Kurt. I was debating whether or not to come over here."
"That leads me back to earlier. How did you know where to find me? And that I was back?"
Eli drained his glass. "I didn't just get a call from Santana. A girl named Brittany messaged me too."
"Oh, that must have been fun."
Eli fiddled with his phone. "See for yourself."
Kurt was startled that Eli was just trusting him with his phone and messages, apparently undaunted by Kurt potentially seeing something that might unravel him.
Brittany Pierce: You're the boy who ruined my future dolphin colony.
Brittany Pierce: I hope you have a good explanation for killing my dream.
Eli Cartwright: I'm not sure I understand. And who are you?
Brittany Pierce: Brittany Susan Pierce, defender of dolphins everywhere.
Brittany Pierce: Because of you, my best dolphin is at home crying.
Eli Cartwright: Ah, you know Santana. I assume you're talking about what I think you're talking about?
Brittany Pierce: Dolphins! Please do keep up.
Kurt chuckled his way through the conversation as Eli explained how sorry he was and hoped nobody was crying because of him. Brittany then urged him to make things right and save the dolphins, giving him the address of the "waters where the king dolphin sometimes lives".
"Well, that clears that up," Kurt laughed.
Eli made a panicked noise. "Do you know what she was talking about?"
Kurt looked at him seriously. "Dolphins are just gay sharks."
Eli picked it up a lot quicker than most. "And you're her favourite dolphin…right. She's very whimsical that one."
Kurt was pleased to note that there was no malice or condescension in Eli's tone, just awe and a little disbelief. "I'd die for her."
Eli truly believed that he would.
Kurt set his lips challengingly. "Brittany and Santana used to date."
Eli gaped. "What was that relationship like?"
He knew that Eli wasn't judging and he found it strange that he was growing to not completely hate the boy he had blamed for combusting his relationship. "Amazing, actually. They only really broke up because Santana went to college and Brittany was still a senior."
"Do you think they'll work things out in the future?"
"Almost definitely," Kurt smiled. "Love like theirs…it doesn't come around very often." His eyes glazed over and he remembered once thinking that he and Blaine would make it in the long term. Now…absolutely not. He would heal and move on, but he wouldn't get the years of his life back.
"I'm sorry, Kurt."
"Eli, I've already told you you don't need to apologise."
Eli nodded. "I know, I'm just apologising about the situation. I know what you're going through."
"You do?"
"Yes, which is why I'm so mad that Blaine would lie about it. My first boyfriend, Charlie, we were together for three years, from sixteen to nineteen."
Kurt nodded along, invested in the story.
"I found out he'd been sleeping with someone else the entire time. He denied it of course, but I'd been maliciously sent proof with a picture of him with them. I showed it to him and broke it off. It took me years to even kiss another guy, because I somehow felt like I was cheating on Charlie even though we'd broken up."
Kurt hung his head. "I'm sorry you went through that. How did you get over it?"
Eli blinked quickly, as though he felt tears coming. "A lot of therapy, some soul-searching and a lot of Joni Mitchell sing-alongs in my car."
Kurt found himself chuckling and stopped himself. "It just feels like I'll never get over the betrayal."
"You will. The fact that you're sat here in your home speaking to the guy who inadvertently ruined your relationship says a lot about you. You're strong."
"Because you know me so well."
"You've shown me kindness. Not many people would, even with my explanation. You seem like a good person. And may I be so bold as to say that I would have much rather fooled around with you."
Kurt gasped. "Well, that's a first."
"Surely not."
"Everyone always liked Blaine," Kurt shrugged. "He's the only guy to have really looked at me twice, while even girls were clamouring to be with Blaine."
Eli shook his head. "That's ridiculous. And he's not even good in bed." He clapped a hand over his mouth. "God, I'm sorry. That was inappropriate."
Kurt tipped his head back and laughed, feeling it curl in the pit of his stomach. "I'm so glad you said that."
"You are?"
"Blaine's the only guy I've ever been with," Kurt explained. "I had nothing to compare it to and thought it was okay. He always topped with me, he wouldn't hear of the other way around."
Eli snorted. "You're joking, right?"
"Absolutely not."
"Let me guess, you're bigger than him and it intimidated him?"
Kurt raised a brow. "What makes you say that?"
Eli blushed deeply. "He refused to blow me but insisted that I blew him."
"Sounds like Blaine. I never got one either if that helps."
"Never?"
"Not once," Kurt grinned. "We didn't really have sex too often so it's not totally surprising."
Eli sighed. "Oh, how I wish I'd met you first."
Kurt immediately took the defensive. "I never would've cheated on Blaine!"
Eli held his hands up, softly apologising. "Not what I meant. I…it's just dumb how taken in I was by him and all that time he was lying. I feel stupid."
"You feel stupid? You weren't with him for a year and a half."
"I know, which is why I feel so awful. I just got some bad sex and a guilty conscience, but your whole life has changed."
Kurt narrowed his eyes. "He was really that bad, you're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I didn't even cum, Kurt," Eli blurted out, suddenly wishing he hadn't."
"What?"
Eli rolled his eyes at the memory. "The actual sex part didn't last all that long. I was in him for about five minutes when he came. Then he demanded I pull out and then left. Too much?"
Kurt shook his head. "Not at all. I enjoy speaking freely about sex, not that I can do it with most of my friends."
"Why is that?"
"You genuinely want to know or just making polite conversation."
Eli leaned forward. "I want to know. You kind of fascinate me."
Kurt smiled vacantly. "Well, I don't have a lot of guy friends. My girls are amazing, but most of the time think I'm too sweet and innocent for sex."
"Bullshit," Eli grinned. When he did that, Kurt could see exactly why Blaine had gone to him. Eli was hot, there were no two ways about it. He was slim yet toned, had a killer smiler and what Kurt considered to be a perfect jawline. In the back of his mind, he was a little envious of Blaine. "Not to be indecorous but you're a teenage guy, of course you're filthy in your own mind."
Kurt chuckled with a small sigh. "How did we get to this?"
"I was beginning to think that myself. I came here crying and ready to grovel and now we're laughing about our sex lives."
"When you realise there's nothing to feel guilty about, I guess we make good conversation."
"If I hadn't recently slept with your boyfriend, I'd be propositioning you right about now."
Kurt winked. "I'll be back at Christmas, I might need a rebound."
Eli bit his lip at just the thought. "Seriously, if you do and you don't think it'd be weird, give me a call."
"I'll add you on Facebook," Kurt smirked.
Eli gaped.
Kurt just laughed. "Too soon?"
