A Conversation, Completed
Summary: "So what if she had a few bruises and broken bones? So what if this "cannon" was a weapon never seen by any warrior before her? She wasn't an invalid, she was a kung fu master. And it was time she started acting like one." A jealous Tigress gets herself hurt, prompting her and Po to finish a much-needed conversation. (My take on what the talk on the boat would have been, and how Po learned Tigress's tragic backstory.)
Disclaimer: I neither own the rights to DreamWorks, Kung Fu Panda, the Kung Fu Panda cinematic universe nor any of its associated media, derivatives or products. I do not profit from this work.
The panda was recovering remarkably quickly. Really, to her perspective, it was almost miraculous—as if mastering Inner Peace had given him some sort of connection to the forces of nature and the universe itself. Perhaps it had; after all, just because Tigress had only ever half-believed the myths about the Dragon Scroll granting the reader the power to hear a butterfly's wings and live off the energy of the universe did not, in fact, mean the myths were wrong.
She watched with narrowed eyes from her seat near the cabin as Po joked around with Mantis and helped Crane load the boat with boxes of provisions for the next leg of their trip up-river. He was avoiding the heavy work, to be sure, but if she'd try to lift a box like that, Viper would have tied her to the mast. The snake had been almost annoyingly motherly of late:"You've been attacked by a new weapon that killed the greatest master in Gongmen City! You need to sit still and recover!"
And yet there was Po, already up on his own two feet as if he hadn't felt that same bone-crushing, mind-numbing, heart-stopping pain of that cast-iron ball punching through him like a paper lantern. She was curious, that was all. Definitely not jealous. He was the Dragon Warrior. If the heavens and the universe were giving him advanced healing abilities, it wasn't any of her business.
"Hey, Po! Catch!"
"Whoa!" The panda spun on his heel, laughing, and easily caught the radish Monkey tossed his way. Tigress's eyes narrowed a hair's breadth closer together.
Definitely not jealous.
He was just sucking it up. That had to be it.
In the darkness of the cabin her burning eyes were fixed on the large black-and-white mass to her right; Po's back, which was turned to her, rose and fell evenly with the sound of his breathing, and every snore grated her nerves a little more.
They had sustained the same injuries. They had been treated in the same way—both had had their chests wrapped in starch-stiffened bandages, although Tigress had continued to wear her vest over it, albeit only partly fastened. But she, unlike Po, had been put on strict bed rest—or rather on light movement and no training, which was as much of bed rest as anyone could convince her to be constrained to. Po, on the other hand, had been allowed to help out on the boat once he'd demonstrated he wasn't in serious pain. Given that they had the same injuries and had been receiving treatment for the same lenght of time, the only conclusions were divine intervention, or that Po was handling the pain better than she was.
And that was unacceptable. Po was a talented warrior and a good friend, but he'd been dealing with "bloody knuckles and broken bones" for a fraction of the time that she had. And the panda was not known for biting his tongue when he had something to complain about. If he was handling it better, it wasn't because Po was being tough; it was because she was being weak.
Growling and restless, she sat up with a wince at the twinge of pain near her sternum and glared down at her friend. She wasn't jealous. It wasn't jealousy to want to improve yourself, was it? Besides, she was getting tired of all the sympathetic looks from Crane and Viper, and the endless teasing from Monkey and Mantis. She was injured, for goodness' sake, not dying.
Well, you can't blame them for acting like you're dying when all you do is sit around all day like an invalid, she reasoned, feeling a bit harrassed. If Po can handle it, so can you; stop being a coward.
So what if she had a few bruises and broken bones? So what if this "cannon" was a weapon never seen by any warrior before her? She wasn't an invalid, she was a kung fu master. And it was time she started acting like one.
With her mind set, Tigress forced herself to stand up, ignoring the protest of her ribcage, and left the cabin of the boat. When she reached the deck she paused, realizing she didn't exactly have a plan of what to do next. Nobody else was awake, not even to guide the boat; the little vessel bobbed peacefully in the water, kept from drifting back downriver by the anchor they'd left on the sandy shore a few meters away. Beyond the shore lay a wild and uninhabited forest, stretching to the bases of cliffs and mountains in the near distance.
Tigress turned back to the cabin and caught sight of the mast. A small smile twitched her mouth as she recalled Po's frustrated attack on the poor piece of wood. It hadn't been a bad idea, as far as training went, but of course the noise had woken the others up. Besides, if she tried to train on the boat, Viper and Master Shifu, to say nothing of the others, would have simultaneous conniptions. No, if she wanted to train she'd have to do it in secret, at least for the time being.
Hm. Now that was an idea. Not the mast, perhaps, but if she wanted to train without the others noticing… She turned to the forest beyond the shore with an approving expression.
Within a few moments she had leapt the short distance between the boat and the shore. The landing jarred her slightly, but cats were graceful creatures by nature, and she managed to land most of her weight on her back legs. Straightening up, she brushed off her vest, flexed her front paws, and headed into the forest.
Once she was far enough from the boat to be sure she wouldn't be heard, the warrior stopped and drew in a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes. It was actually a very peaceful night; between the soft moonlight, the smell of spring and the sounds of night-insects and the river, it would have been the perfect place for meditation, had she been in the mood to relax and empty her mind. The thought made her scoff aloud and open her eyes; she'd had more than enough of sitting still and doing nothing lately.
There were many smaller trees around her, but it wasn't until she spotted a large one with a trunk twice as wide as Po that she knew she'd found her target. Tigress stalked up to it, eyes blazing, and sized it up. It was no ironwood tree, but it looked solid, old, and capable of taking a beating.
She settled into stance, clamped down the usual fear of pain and danger, and then let her fist fly from her hip and hit the tree with all the pent-up frustration she'd been carrying for the last few days.
THUD.
White-hot pain splintered through her shoulder, across her ribs and up her spine. In the blink of an eye it reached her brain, and the world went black.
Ooh…
A dull, throbbing pain was radiating across her chest and through her lungs. It came and went with a regular pulse, like the pull of a tide. What…happened to me? She breathed in and exhaled; the pain bloomed and receded. Where am I?
The world came into a blurry view. She blinked and saw the roots of a nearby tree. The forest? How did I…?
She tried to sit up and gasped in pain. "Ach!" The wave-like pain turned into a debilitating shock again, collapsing her. What? She tried again but quickly gave up when the pain nearly made her black out again. I-I can't move! It felt like there were broken pottery shards under her skin where her ribs should be; whenever she moved, the jagged edges would pierce into her chest.
The details were hazy, but after a moment she pieced together what must have happened. Right. I tried to punch the tree. Heat filled her face; her ribs must have re-fractured from the shock. The others would never let her live this down.
The others. They didn't know she was out here; nobody knew where she was. They'd likely come looking for her in the morning when they realized she wasn't on the boat, but that would only be after a night spent lying on the cold dirt.
With broken ribs.
Completely defenseless.
Alone.
She gritted her teeth and tried desperately again to get up. The pain nearly blinded her, but Tigress was not known for having a compliant attitude towards anyone, including her own body. Planting both front paws on the ground, she braced herself, and pushed herself up into a kneel.
Crack.
"AGH!"
Darkness.
She woke up quicker this time, or at least she thought so by the position of the moon. The pain was significantly worse now. "Agh… ah…" Breathing hurts. Not a good sign.
Sometimes retreat was the smarter option, and at this point Tigress was willing to admit a tactical defeat. She did, however, manage to roll onto her back, though not without the cost of head-swimming pain. After that she lay spread-eagle on the ground for several minutes, heaving for air. Every gasp felt like a bad acupuncture appointment, large needles jabbing into her lungs.
Alright. Think. What are your options right now? There weren't many; she could either try to stand up again, and likely fail, or she could wait for the others to come looking for her. The second option currently seeming more reasonable, she sighed, winced, and closed her eyes, settling in for a long wait and a humiliating discovery.
Although she'd resigned herself to lying on the cold hard dirt for the rest of the night, in fact she only had to wait ten minutes before she heard the sounds of movement in the forest.
Tigress's eyes snapped open. The sounds were being made by something rather large, depending on the amount of noise, and were meandering closer to her. It was impossible to tell whether the sounds heralded friend or foe, but when she heard the person trip over something and yelp, she figured they couldn't pose too much of a threat if they couldn't reliably walk through a forest at night. Perhaps it was a local farmer, or a villager from further up the mountains. "Hello?" she called, hoping it was an ally and not an enemy.
There was a pause, and then a distant, "Tigress?"
Relief flooded her. "Po!" At her call came the sound of hurried and frantic rustling in the woods. "Po! I'm over here!"
The rustling grew nearer until it was right beside her. "Tigress!" Po's face appeared over hers. "You're alright!"
"Mm." Po took her mumble as acknowledgement, but it was actually grunt of pain; he'd accidentally nudged her with his toe.
"You had me worried; I woke up and you weren't there! I thought maybe you were just out for a walk, but you never came back." He frowned, taking in her prone state. "Are you okay?"
"Obviously not."
"What happened?" At her non-response, Po's face turned sideways, and then his expression fell. "Did you hit the tree?" She didn't answer, ashamed. "Tigress, you're supposed to be recovering! You shouldn't even be working too hard, let alone training!"
"I am recovering…" Even to her it sounded like a weak lie.
"You got shot by a cannon!" Po said angrily, kneeling down and carefully helping her into a sitting position against the trunk; Tigress hissed in pain. "You're supposed to be taking it easy!"
"You got hit by a cannon too," Tigress snapped, and then let out a pained "hah!" as Po set her down, her ribs creaking against her spine.
"I had protection. The ball hit the iron wok I was carrying; you got hit directly! Plus I got, like, witch-goat magic right away!"
"...Oh." In a flash his "miraculous" recovery made sense, and she felt a little sheepish. "...I'd forgotten about the wok."
"And the magic goat lady?"
"That too."
Po sighed and sat down next to her. They sat insilence for a long moment, listening to the wind sway the branches of the forest trees above them and the river bubble in the distance.
"...Are you trying to get yourself hurt more?" Po said at last, sounded still grumpy but less upset.
"...I was embarrassed," she admitted, ears drooping. "And… jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?"
"Of you." At his surprised look she explained: "I thought I'd be alright—after all, you're already on your feet."
"You were jealous of me because I'm not as hurt?" She gave a single nod, self-conscious. Po looked exasperated. "Tigress, the situations are totally different!"
"Yes, Po, I remember that now." She checked her temper. "Thank you for coming to find me. If you hadn't I probably would have laid here until morning waiting for someone to come looking."
"Can you really not walk on your own?" he asked, his anger melting into worry.
"I don't think so; I might pass out again if I try." She could feel her face burning under her stripes as she flattened her ears. "Could you…help me?"
"What? Oh, yeah, of course." He seemed to notice her embarrassment and added: "Seriously, Tigress, it's fine. Don't worry about it."
"If you say so." She tried to sit up straighter and winced. "Actually, I'm going to need a bit of a breather first."
"Sure, whatever you need."
They sat in silence for a minute. The two. Then three. Po turned to Tigress and opened his mouth, only to see her face turned the other way; clearly she didn't want to be asked when sh was ready to go. Jeez. She must really be hurt.
He scooted over, noting how her eyes flickered to look at him out of the corner and then hastily away again, and leaned beside her with his back to the same tree. Looks like we're gonna be here for a while.
"...I'm sorry for making you wait for me. You must be tired."
"Tigress, it's fine, seriously. Just take however much time you need."
Neither was sure how much time had passed; it had been enough for the moon to move several more degrees towards the horizon, now covered by a screen of dark branches and leaves. Tigress had given up trying to move anytime soon; no matter how embarrassing the situation was, her body had finally hit its limit and would not be ignored any longer.
Yet as time passed, something strange began to happen: whether it was because of the peaceful setting, or because of Po's insistence that he was fine waiting for her to recover, the initial humiliation was dissipating, leaving in its place a sense of companionship and calm. Out of the corner of her eye, Tigress saw Po look back through the trees towards the river, and then glance at her and hurriedly look away when he saw she was still watching. This happened twice more in short succession, causing her to feel rather bewildered.
When he looked a fourth time, she raised her eyebrows. "Something on your mind, panda?"
"I, uh…I was wondering." He grimaced, and then mustered his courage and said: "That night on the boat, right before we arrived—what, uh, what was it you were gonna say?"
"What?"
"I've been wondering for a while, ever since we left Gongmen City. I mean, only if you wanna share."
She didn't answer, her eyes flickering away up to the waving tree branches, and the stars beyond silence stretched on, and after a moment, Po blew out a sigh, cheeks puffing. "Sorry, sorry, way too serious. I shouldn't've asked–"
"I was adopted, too."
He looked back at her, startled. Tigress still wasn't meeting his eyes.
"I came to the Jade Palace when I was six years old. Before that, I lived at an orphanage called Bao Gu. I have no idea who my birth parents were."
"...I actually knew that." She glanced at him, surprised, and Po gave her a slightly embarrassed smile. "Big fan, remember?"
"I see." She looked up at the sky again, and he kept quiet, sensing she would be more likely to keep talking that way. "I…wasn't very happy there. Not just because I didn't have parents, but… I didn't really… fit in."
He watched as she seemed, entirely subconsciously, to curl in on herself, her arms wrapping around her knees and ears drooping again. "I wasn't like the other children—cute little ducks and bunnies, you know. Very…breakable."
"Tigress," he fumbled, "you don't have to–"
"Most things were breakable, actually. I didn't know how strong I was—everyone around me was so much weaker than me, and I didn't have any point of reference, so I... " She frowned as if trying to put something abstract into words. "I didn't try to be, but I was a bit of a menace. It affected the Bao Gu's reputation; parents began avoiding the orphanage because of me."
"Just because of you? I mean, you were just one kid."
"I don't blame them. If Bao Gu took me in, who knew what else a prospective parent would find there? They wanted a child, not a monster."
"Tigress, you're not a–"
"I was getting to be a problem," she interrupted almost forcefully, barrelling over his words as if determined to convince him she hadn't heard them. "They had two options—find some way to fix me, or kick me out. So they sent for Master Shifu as a last-ditch effort. It worked. For the first time, I was interacting with someone who wasn't afraid of me. Shifu didn't see me as a monster–" Her voice softened here, "–he saw me as a little girl."
As Po watched, she reached under the collar of her vest and pulled out something on the edge of a loop of string he'd occasionally seen poking out from her shirt during training. He'd always wondered what was on the end of it. In the faint moonlight he realized that the pendant was in fact a small, thin block of wood—a mahjong tile.
"He taught me to play mahong. I lost a lot, since he wouldn't go easy on me." She smirked down at the tile. "It angered me, and getting angry so often over something so small helped me learn to control my temper. Looking back, I think Master Shifu taught me the way he did because he understood how it felt to have a short temper and the ability to cause a lot of damage. As a result of his training, I learned to control my anger and my strength. I earned my place with the other orphans and gained their trust."
"And then he adopted you?"
"Yes, after it became clear that nobody else wanted me."
"Tigress–"
"I didn't mind. I liked being with him, and I was happy to come to the Jade Palace. I felt like… like I was home." She fell silent for a long, long moment, staring down at the tile, and Po could almost see the little tiger-girl she had once been, desperate to fit in—to prove she deserved it. And after all that, to still be rejected by potential families while the other children were accepted…. You don't belong here. No wonder she'd known exactly how deep to cut.
Eventually her eyes flickered up to him. "Po. I told you once that Shifu raised Tai Lung like a son."
"...Yeah," Po sighed, guessing what was implied, but to his surprise Tigress subverted his expectations:
"I don't know if he'll ever admit it aloud, but I'm not, and have never been, just another student to Shifu the way you and the others are. I also understand why he can't say it. Taking me in, after what Tai Lung did to the Valley…that took a great deal of courage. He saw a child in need, and instead of remaining subject to his own pain and sense of inadequacy, he gave me a home. A place I could belong."
She released the mahjong tile, letting it rest visibly against her vest instead of tucking it back inside. "My father and I have a difficult relationship at times," she said firmly, "but the home he gave me made me who I am. The same is true for you." Po blinked, surprised. "You wanted to know who you are. I think you are Po Ping: the son of a goose noodle-maker, a master of the Jade Palace and the Dragon Warrior. And a panda. None of that is contradictory, and you shouldn't feel you have to worry about it."
Even if he'd already found the answers he was searching for, it still felt good to hear it confirmed by someone else. "It's… all me."
She gave him a small smile and nodded. Then she winced again, her paw unintentionally going to her lower ribcage. Po raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Thanks for the pep talk Tigress, I appreciate it. But you're the one who's hurt."
"I'm not that hurt."
"You got shot by a cannon!"
"So did you!"
The bickering was now well-intentioned, and after some further ribbing Po added: "Really, Tigress, thanks. I'm really glad you felt you could share that with me."
"Well, I'm glad I was able to– ach! –able to help." She was trying to stand again, and Po quickly hurried to help her.
"Alright, alright, take it easy…"
He helped her to her feet and then (despite Tigress's obvious embarrassment) insisted on carrying her back to the boat and through the water. Once they were both on-bard, she said, "Po, I think I can walk the rest of the way to my bed—with your help, I mean."
"Are you sure? Because I can definitely carry you, you're not that heavy."
"You don't think it would look strange if you carried me to bed like a blushing bride?"
Po, predictably, blushed himself and set her down. "Okay, fair." Nevertheless, he positioned his arm so that she could put most of her weight on it as she began to walk. "I hope I'm not, y'know, overstepping here," he said as they headed for the cabin door, "but… the Jade Palace is your home, right?"
"Right," she said, confused.
"So you don't, I dunno, have to do dangerous stuff to earn your place there."
They stopped briefly as Tigress did her best to turn to face him. "Po, I was just jealous and misunderstood your quick recovery," she insisted. "I won't try anything stupid like this again, believe me."
"I know, I know. But—look, I gotta say it—you don't have to prove anything to anyone, okay? Including yourself. You already belong." He winced. "Sorry, okay, that sounded super cheesy, and totally not-hard-core–"
Whumf. He shut up as he felt her muscled form strike against his significantly softer body with the force of her hug. "Oh. Uh–"
"Thank you, Po. That means a lot to me." Po grinned despite his shock and hugged her back.
"No problem, Tigress."
A beat passed. She didn't let go. Initially he was embarrassed, but quickly the reason dawned on him: "Tigress? ...You hurt yourself hugging me, didn't you?"
"...Don't tell the others."
Several weeks later, Mr. Ping's noodle shop was bustling with hungry customers and good cheer once again, and with the father-and-son duo back together again after a teary reunion, the orders were coming out hot off the wok. "Order up!" Po called, leaving the kitchen with several soup bowls balanced on various appendages. "Here you are, Mrs. Chen…"
"Your father looks so happy," the old sow said, smiling at him as he served the trio of old ladies their orders. "Hasn't smiled like that in months! He really missed you, you know."
"I missed him too, Mrs. Chen. Heya, Mr. Fung, welcome back– Tigress!" The feline gave him a small smile as she walked under the archway and leaned ever-so-slightly against the back of a chair—something Po knew she'd never be caught dead doing under other circumstances.
"Hello, Po."
"Hey. What are you doing down here? I thought you'd be training."
"I told Master Shifu I needed a break." Po was impressed; asking Shifu for a break from training was not for the faint of heart, let alone insisting on it—especially for Tigress, who seemed to take pride in never needing one. What she said next, however, was even more surprising: "Actually, I said we all did; you won't be expected up at the Palace until next week."
"Whoa, really? Thanks, Tigress, I uh…" He glanced back at his father, who was ladelling out bowls of noodles and chatting with customers. "I kinda needed that."
"I had a feeling. Besides," she pulled out the chair she was leaning on and sat down, for once not trying to hide her wince, but smiling ruefully at him all the same. "I needed time to recover, too. I've earned it."
Po grinned back at her. "Well, in that case…" He flipped open his server's booklet. "Welcome to Mr. Ping's; what can I get you?"
"Spicy noodle soup with extra sauce on the side?"
"You got it. Hey, dad!" He headed off to the kitchen. "We got another customer!"
"Hm? Oh! I like that one, she always pays her tab on time!"
Tigress chuckled to herself as she relaxed back against her chair, feeling her still-healing ribs creak under her skin.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone, including yourself. You already belong. It was a comforting idea. For a moment she wondered if perhaps she was just telling herself what she wanted to hear—but then, watching Po laugh and cook with his father, she decided it didn't matter either way.
After all, if Po Ping believed she didn't have to prove anything to belong, maybe she could learn to believe it, too.
