A/N: Thanks for your reviews, I loved all of your guesses for this chapter. One person pretty much guessed it.
I apologize in advance. I have a love hate relationship with stuff like this.
The next month and a half were hard… really hard. I went back to teaching and we pretty much didn't see each other. The month of September we saw each other twice. He was always busy traveling doing photo shoots or working at the club, and I was only free on weekends. We were starting to fight, and it was awful. I felt like he wasn't trying very hard to see me, and he felt like I wasn't being understanding.
At first the fights started out little and we usually made up quickly. But as time went on, we were hanging up on each other, and not talking for days at a time. It was usually better in person; we'd both agree that we didn't handle it well and we'd apologize.
It was building up inside both of us. I was starting to resent him, and he was sick of the guilt. The arguing turned to yelling and the apologizing was starting to sound like a broken record. I was sick of crying myself to sleep and he was stressed trying to fit me into his crowded schedule.
Then we went three weeks without seeing each other. He had no time between his two jobs and the one time he did I chose to do a girl's weekend in Chicago. I could've easily scheduled it for a different weekend, but I wanted him to know what it felt like to come second like I was feeling.
I found myself acting childish just to prove a point. I wasn't myself, and it made me distraught.
Three weeks was too long. I was starting to feel like my stomach was eating itself, as I knocked on the door to his apartment.
He opened the door, and instead of hugging me and kissing me like he normally did, he just gave me a distant smile, that didn't reach his eyes.
"Hi," I whispered.
He stepped aside as I walked inside, "Are you hungry?"
"Not really," I shook my head. "How was your shoot?"
"Good," he walked to the kitchen. He must have been in the middle of doing dishes because he went back to doing them. "How was work?" He asked after a minute of silence.
"Fine," I said quietly.
"I'll be done in a minute," he said quietly as he continued rinsing a plate.
"I'm just going to use the bathroom," I barely whispered. I walked into his bathroom and flipped on the light. I wanted to start crying. He felt so distant from me and I just wanted to shake him. I took a deep breath as I splashed some cold water on my wrists and arms.
I flipped off the lights to the bathroom and sat at his kitchen counter, staring at the back of his head while he scrubbed the dishes. "So, I was thinking next weekend when we"-
"I uh," he interrupted me with a guilt-ridden voice. "I had a really good opportunity to shoot for a big sports thing next weekend"-
"So, you're cancelling our plans," I cut in. "Again?" My voice was full of venom.
He dried his hands off on a towel before facing me. "It's a really big client. It's going to open a lot of doors for me."
"You say that every time," I let out a disappointed breath. "And just like always I'm shoved to the side. Just an afterthought."
"I'm sorry," he threw his hands up in defeat letting them fall limp to his sides.
"You're starting to sound like a broken record."
"Yeah, I feel like one too," he said under his breath. He turned back to the sink to finish off the last of his dishes. "You don't seem to get how important this is to me. How hard I've worked to get to this point…"
I was silent. I wanted to bite back at him, but I felt it was better to walk away for now. Fighting was only going to make things worse. Something I was understanding all too well lately. I walked down his hall towards his bedroom, deciding to wait until we we're both in a better mood to talk. I froze when I noticed a couple of boxes near his bed. They were packed up with some clothes, books, and pictures.
He was making a lot of money lately, maybe he was planning to upgrade, and move to a nicer apartment? Or maybe he was going to buy a house? I couldn't help but feel a sting in my chest as I realized he never told me. That seemed kind of odd to not tell your girlfriend you were planning on moving.
I heard footsteps come down the hall, and then Damon appeared in the doorway.
"What's with the boxes?" I asked, turning to face him.
He seemed caught off guard. Like he didn't want me to see them. "My lease is up," he finally spoke.
"Did you find another apartment?" I asked.
He nodded, looking at me with sad eyes, and my heart started to beat in my ears.
"Where?" I asked.
"Elena," he started towards me, before stopping.
"Why didn't you tell me you were thinking of moving?" I asked.
"I'm traveling a lot, and I'm hardly home anymore," he spoke.
I looked at him confused.
"I quit the club."
I felt myself smile. Did he finally realize he needed to make more time for this to work? "I'm glad. You didn't need that place anymore."
He looked down at the floor, and I realized I was missing something important.
"Where are you moving?" I asked.
He was silent for way too long. My mind began to race with possibilities. We were so off track lately, anything was possible. "LA," his eyes remained glued on the floor.
It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. How could he make such a big decision before talking about it with me first? Did he think I was just going to be ok with long distance? Or…
"Oh my gosh," I felt my voice crack. My eyes were blurred with tears threatening to spill over. "I'm such an idiot."
He looked up at me, as realization dawned on me. His face looked like he was in pain, "Elena."
I shook my head, and stepped around him walking briskly down the hall.
"Elena!" He shouted, chasing after me. He grabbed my wrist and he spun me towards him.
"No!" I shouted, the tears spilling over my cheeks. "You're so selfish! I don't want to hear it. It's over! We're over."
"Don't do that," his voice raised.
"Do what?" I cried.
"Walk away," his voice sounded weaker.
"What do you expect me to do?" I threw my hands up. "Do long distance? Move out there with you?"
"No," he huffed. "I don't know?"
"Well, you seem to have what you want figured out," I gulped as I realized the weight of his decision. "And I was a second thought. Just like I always am."
"That's not true," he grabbed my hands. "if it were, I would've left a long time ago. You're the only reason I stayed here."
"I'm not enough for you to stay anymore," I shrugged feeling the tears stream down my cheeks. "And I wouldn't ask you to. You worked so hard to get to where you're at in your career, and I can't ask you to give that up."
I watched as he gulped. His hands still holding mine. He looked down at out intertwined hands and squeezed them tightly. "Don't make it seem like you aren't enough. You're so much more."
If I could roll my eyes all the way back to my brain, I would. "Good luck," I gave his hands a squeeze before heading for the door.
"Elena," his voice cracked.
My hand was on the door, and I pulled it open before he slammed it shut. "Don't leave it like this."
I turned around to face him, "How would you like it to end?"
"I don't want it to end," he breathed.
"Then what are we supposed to do from here? We already don't see each other, and you want to move across the country?" I laughed darkly.
"I don't know," he sighed.
I was quiet as the tears slid down my cheeks. I had to pull the plug. "If you wanted me, you would've asked me to come."
"You wouldn't come," he shook his head.
"You never even asked," The tear fell down my cheek. "I might've considered it. Because unlike you… Your happiness is more important than my career."
"Don't," his face twisted in anguish.
"Damon," I got his attention. "You didn't ask me to come. You didn't even tell me you were thinking about it. Deep down… You wanted this."
"You don't know what I want," his eyes were intense.
"Your right," I agreed. "We've never even talked about what a future would look like between us. Because I knew they weren't the same."
"How do you know?"
"Stefan and I had our kid's names picked out a month in to dating. We talked about the kind of house we wanted, and the places we wanted to vacation together," I sighed. "Is that what you want?"
He was quiet as I waited for his answer.
"That's what I thought," I said after a minute of silence. "We were always going to end up here. I could feel it."
"Then why'd you even bother?" He sneered.
"Denial…" I shrugged. "Hope."
He was so quiet. I'm sure he thought I wouldn't see the boxes, and he had a whole speech planned out ready for me. "Can you answer me one thing?" I asked.
"Hmm?" He mumbled.
"What was going to happen when I got here today?" I looked up at him. "You didn't kiss me or hug me when I got here. Why?"
His eyes flickered to the floor.
"Just say it," I begged.
He was so quiet.
"You were going to end it, weren't you?" More tears slid down my cheek.
"I couldn't," his voice was barely audible. "I saw you, and I couldn't do it."
My heart twisted at the thought. He wanted to break up with me. The fact that he knew it was what he needed to do, even though it was hard made me realize I needed to do it for him.
"Damon," my voice broke. "It's ok."
When he looked up at me, his eyes were welled with tears.
"I get it," the knot in my stomach twisted. His dreams were in the palms of his hands and I was a distraction, threatening to lose everything he worked so hard for. I placed a hand on his cheek. Despite all of the pain I was feeling, I wanted to remember what it felt like to be loved by Damon Salvatore.
We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Neither of us able to say anything. I didn't want this. Not one bit. But he was right. Since the moment I met him, and for many years before me he was working his ass off to build his dream. And when he finally got it, I was a roadblock between his previous life and his dreams. I knew that he was experiencing high levels of stress by trying to make our relationship a priority. He couldn't have both. At least not right now.
I dropped my hand from his cheek, and everything felt cold. I saw him open his mouth like he was about to say something, but he closed his mouth and I watched his jaw flex as he swallowed his words.
I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, and turned leaving out the door, before he saw me totally breakdown. I felt him walk towards the door like he was going to stop me, but he stopped dead in his tracks, as he let the door close between us.
I would've let him stop me. I would've talked it through. I would've tried long distance. I would consider moving with him to LA. But he didn't stop me. He didn't consider any of it. So, if he wasn't going to fight for us, then I wasn't either. I wasn't going to waste my time on someone who didn't want me like I wanted them...
A/N: How much do you hate me? Please let me know your thoughts. I want to hear your predictions! The next chapter will be... interesting? Surprising? Shocking? I don't know... You'll have to wait to find out ;) See you next week!
