Chapter Fifteen
Maya is sitting up in bed, wearing a loose shirt and flipping idly through various options on a datapad. She sets it aside, fighting back a cough, and picks up a book, opening to a random page and skimming through it vaguely. Then that is also set aside and she returns to the datapad, sighing. When the door chime sounds, however, she immediately straightens up, looking hopeful. "Come in," she calls out, her voice hoarse. The outer doors open, and a moment later, Data appears in the open doorway to the bedroom.
"Are you feeling well enough for a visitor?" he asks, and Maya nods almost before he finishes speaking.
"I'm well enough to wish that I wasn't still confined to bed, so yes, I would be very glad of a visitor," she replies, her voice still scratchy.
"One moment," he says, stepping back into the main room long enough to retrieve a tray holding a covered dish and a spoon. "I have brought you some plomeek soup, if you are hungry."
"Oh, that sounds good, thank you." She adjusts the pillows behind her back, then starts to cough as Data carefully settles the tray on the bed.
"Are you all right?" he asks with some concern. "Should I call Dr. Crusher?"
But Maya shakes her head, the fit subsiding. "No, I'm all right. Dr. Crusher said the coughing is normal while the lung tissue is still regrowing."
Data looks doubtful, but accepts this. "You should also try not to strain your voice. Nyocene gas is highly corrosive."
"Believe me, next time there's an accident like that I'll get out of the way much faster," she promises, lifting the lid from the dish and inhaling the aroma. "Mmm. Sit down."
He pulls a chair closer to the bed and sits, watching as she tastes the soup. "Do you like it? It is a recipe that Lt. Saros suggested."
"Yes, it's very good."
"Geordi also asked me to tell you that he would 'dock your pay' if you were not back at work as soon as you are cleared for duty. That is a joke," Data added, leaning closer conspiratorially. "It is his way of expressing concern for your well-being."
"That's very thoughtful of him," she replies gravely.
He pauses a moment, watching as she eats. "There is something I have been meaning to speak to you about as well, if you are feeling up to it."
"Of course. I'm fine except for the cough."
Again he pauses, this time seeming to choose his words. "Although on this occasion the situation was fortunately not too serious, it has reminded me that we have chosen hazardous careers. There are many scenarios in which even I might be completely destroyed. And humans are – much easier to damage," he adds, delicately.
"You don't have to tell me that," Maya replies, sighing and clearing her throat. "So what exactly about our hazardous careers did you want to discuss?"
"I thought perhaps that – when you are feeling better, of course – you might wish to start having sexual relations."
Though she is thankfully between mouthfuls of soup, she nonetheless starts choking, another coughing fit overtaking her. Data gets to his feet, hovering anxiously, and moves the tray out of the way. "I will call Dr. Crusher," he says, but Maya shakes her head, waving away the idea.
"I'm all right," she finally chokes out. "Just – give me a minute."
"My apologies," Data says, ruefully. "That was not a very – romantic way to broach the subject."
Again Maya shakes her head. "You know I don't care about romance. It was just a little – sudden."
"It has been three weeks and two days since you told me of your feelings for me, and we have known each other for just over a year altogether. Do you consider that sudden?"
She opens her mouth to speak, then sighs, patting the bed next to her. Data sits, looking at her expectantly.
"Not really sudden, I suppose," she says, slowly. "And it isn't that I haven't thought about it, I have. It – well, it doesn't seem like it would be quite – fair."
Data frowns. "Fair? In what way?"
Unusually, she doesn't seem quite able to look him in the eye. "Well, you wouldn't... enjoy it, would you? Not the same way I would, I mean. It doesn't seem... equitable."
"I would not – not enjoy it," he replies, tilting his head. "And I would be glad to know that you enjoyed it."
"But that isn't the same thing. It – it would feel like I was taking advantage of you. If you were only doing it because I wanted to." She hesitates, staring down at the bedcovers and fidgeting with the hem. "Does that make sense?" At last she looks up at him, a little pleadingly.
Data considers this for a moment, then nods. "I believe I understand. But you appear to be making the assumption that at some point I will be capable of experiencing sexual desire, or at least romantic feelings. There is no guarantee that this will ever be the case. Even if the emotion chip were to work perfectly – it is designed to recreate human emotions as closely as possible, therefore I do not believe I would be able to choose who I would love. Though of course I would prefer to fall in love with you," he adds, with perfect seriousness.
She bites her lip, staring at him with wide eyes. "Oh," is all she can manage to say, smiling faintly as she continues to stare in wonderment.
"Are you upset?" he asks with some concern. "Have I said something wrong?"
Again Maya is quick to wave this idea away. "No. You said something wonderful," she replies.
A faint smile quirks the corner of his mouth and he looks almost pleased with himself. "Did I?"
She nods, still smiling.
"I am glad," he says, quietly.
She leans forward and kisses him gently, then rests her head against his shoulder. He looks down at her in confusion, then turns awkwardly to rest his cheek against the top of her head. Her smile widens and she laughs gently. "Someday soon... when I'm not coughing every few minutes... we should talk about this again."
"Yes. We will do that."
Neither of them moved or spoke for a long moment. "We never had the opportunity to talk again. That was not long before – the accident," Data finally added, quietly.
"A plasma leak," Maya whispered, and leaned a fraction closer.
"Yes." He held her more tightly, realizing that he no longer had to think of possibly hurting her. "And I was not there to save you."
She shook her head. "It wasn't your fault. Sorry I – I didn't get out of the way in time," she murmured, then turned to look up at him, her eyes wide.
Again the memory of her dying moments seemed to be stronger than any other, and Data mourned inwardly. "You are crying," he said, touching her cheek. "Please do not cry. You are here again, you are safe. That is all that matters."
"At least I know I can cry." She almost smiled, wiping away the tears. "But I don't – I don't feel like I'm here, not really. Everything is still like a d-dream."
"Perhaps we should go back to the lab. Norman is much more familiar with your systems than I am. He may be able to help with the physical symptoms, at least." He paused unhappily. "I wish that I could do more to help you."
She shook her head, taking a deep breath to steady herself, then smiled wryly. "I suppose I don't need to do that anymore, do I? But you are helping. Just listening and answering my questions helps more than you know. You're very patient. And at least I feel like I almost remember you." After managing a brief half-smile, she grew serious. "I'm sorry, I know that – that isn't much."
"It is not your fault. Someday you may be able to recall more. For now, I will remember for both of us."
"You'll have to." Again she almost smiled, then added, "Thank you."
"I will do whatever I can. You need only ask."
After another beat, she stood up and at last gave a real smile. "Then you can help me find that technical manual," she said, holding out her hands to him, for the moment no longer trembling. "I'll need to start learning how to repair myself. It's lucky I still seem to remember something about engineering."
"It would be difficult to imagine you entirely forgetting engineering." He took her hands and stood as well, returning her smile.
Struck by something, she paused and tilted her head. Seeming lost in thought, she moved his right hand to her waist and the two of them slipped naturally into dance position, though she was still silent, frowning slightly with the effort of trying to recall.
But Data only smiled, heartened, and began leading her gently through the steps of a waltz. Almost at once she caught the rhythm, following his lead effortlessly, and together they moved in time to unheard music. At first they stayed at a rather formal distance, as they had the first time, but as the dance continued they gradually moved closer. Now Data felt the advantages of a perfect memory, for he knew he would always be able to summon the quiet happiness of this moment.
"You taught me this," Maya finally ventured.
"Yes, for Lt. Ramirez's wedding. On the Enterprise. You wanted to be able to dance." They were both silent again for a moment, and in that moment he could hear her simulated heartbeat, an immensely comforting sound. "After I left the Enterprise," he finally added, thoughtfully, "I was in command of a science vessel, the Hawking. Arzin is the first officer. Shortly after I arrived, two crewmen were married, and I performed the ceremony. It reminded me of teaching you to dance. It was then that I decided to install the emotion chip. Perhaps I should have done so sooner... but it felt then as though the time was right. You had said once that I would know when I was ready for the chip... and perhaps – perhaps everything will be all right now."
Maya considered this, looking up at him seriously. "You didn't have any emotions at all before the chip?" she asked.
"I was not capable of them... though I had always aspired to them."
"Mm," she said, thoughtfully. "Then why did you download my memory engrams?"
At hearing the same unanswerable question for the second time in an hour, he came within an instant of missing a step. "I – did not want you to be irrevocably gone," he said. "It did not seem fair for you to die, and -" But there he stopped himself and shook his head. "I thought of many reasons afterwards. At the time I did not truly consider my actions. I simply – acted."
She smiled up at him, their dance slowly drifting to an end, then stretched up to kiss his cheek. "Things are... confusing right now," she whispered. "But whatever else happens, I'm glad you acted."
He pulled her closer. "I will always be infinitely grateful for that. Always."
