A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry this is a little later update. I usually update on Mondays, but i picked up a shift for a coworker yesterday (I usually have them off) so I didn't have the time.
This is the last chapter. I will post the epilogue next week, and possibly my next story too!
Enjoy :)
The four-hour drive to the wedding felt long. The long stretch of road with nothing but farmland, forests, and trees made me want to blow out my brains. Thankfully Elena kept me entertained in the passenger seat. She seemed fine with leaving Lilly with her mom, but that didn't stop her from calling her every fifteen minutes to check in on her. Even I was on edge, feeling so far away. But Elena's mom reminded us that she raised two children, and she knew what she was doing.
We quickly got settled in our separate hotel rooms. Although they were connected, so it was easy access if she needed me.
Elena soon walked into my room without warning, as I was throwing on my suit jacket. "That looks familiar," she smiled.
I smirked as I too remembered buying this suit on our trip to New York. The trip where everything changed.
She blushed as she remembered the details of that trip. She slowly turned her head away from me, hoping I wouldn't notice.
"You look beautiful," I told her. She wore a pale blue dress. It wasn't overly fancy, but it was appropriate for a wedding.
"It feels weird," she ran her hands over her dress. "I haven't gotten dressed up in a long time."
"Same," I gave her a half smile. "Shall we?" I extended my elbow to her so she could loop her arm in mine. We walked out to my car and drove about six miles to the wedding venue.
Weddings were so boring to me. The ceremonies were long. Sitting and talking to family I hadn't seen in years was torture. And watching people get excited over the Macarena and the Electric Slide was downright embarrassing.
I was chatting with my dad and one of my uncles, enjoying a glass of bourbon. Elena had been here and there. She knew my family pretty well and could hold her own. Every once in a while, she would come chat with whoever I was chatting with. Everyone knew that we had a child together, but nobody asked questions, even though you could see the curiosity in their eyes. I knew it bothered Elena. She cared what people thought.
Last I had seen her she had been going to the bathroom, but that was a while ago. I scanned the gigantic room and spotted her across the venue talking to my cousin Brittany. "Oh great," I mumbled. "Excuse me," I said to my dad and uncle.
I walked over to Elena knowing she would probably need rescuing. As I approached, Elena's eyes found mine and I saw the rescue me look in them. Brittany was turned away from me, when I heard her open her mouth. "I was surprised when I heard that you and Damon had a baby. Especially so quickly after Stefan passed away."
I watched Elena swallow. I knew that that's exactly what Elena feared. People judging her, thinking she was some sort of slut for jumping from one brother to the next.
"I didn't expect it to happen like that," Elena's voice sounded shaken.
"I'm sure," Brittany sounded condescending. "I'm just so surprised Damon stuck around… He's not really one to settle down." She leaned into Elena, "Especially for someone like you. You're so…" She looked Elena up and down, letting her sentence fall.
"Well, were not"-
"Hello Brittany," I came up beside Elena, with a fake smile.
"Damon," she seemed surprised to see me. "I was just congratulating Elena, on your baby."
"Really?" I looked pointedly at her. "It didn't sound like a congratulations to me."
Brittany shifted her weight as she flushed with embarrassment.
I looked at Elena, "She's just jealous," I said for both of them to hear. "Brittany tried to kiss me," I glanced at Brittany determined to knock her down several notches. "And it's not like we were kids… When was that?" I looked at Brittany like I needed help remembering. "Was that three years ago now?"
Brittany turned her head in embarrassment. "You know if you want to knock people down Brittany… You might want to consider who it is; you're knocking down."
I set my glass of bourbon down on the nearby table, and grabbed Elena's hand, "Wanna dance?"
I loved watching Elena smile, as she nodded her head. She placed her hand in mine, before glancing at my cousin Brittany, "it was nice seeing you," Elena said as sweetly as ever. How could anyone be mean to Elena? She was the nicest person on the planet.
I pulled her on the dance floor and thankfully it was a slow song. I pulled her against my body, and she automatically put her hands on my shoulders, "thanks for saving me."
"Anyone talking to Brittany needs saving," I snorted.
"Did she really try to kiss you?" Elena asked baffled.
"Yes," I cringed at the memory. "She asked me take pictures for her friend's wedding. And at the end of the night, she thanked me and then got all flirty, and then she made a comment about how she had a secret crush on me when we were kids… and then she leaned in -" I visibly shook with disgust at the memory.
"She's your cousin!" Elena nearly gagged. "That's disgusting!"
"Believe me, I wanted to forget it ever happened," I grimaced. "But it was well worth it, to knock her down just now."
"Is that why she said that? She made me feel like it was such a shock that we were together once. She insinuated that I wasn't good enough for you," Elena frowned.
"She knows you are beautiful, and smart, and kind," I shrugged. "She does that, when she's intimidated. Don't let it get to you, that's what she wants."
"But why?"
"Who cares?" I swayed with her to the music.
Elena let it go as we swayed in silence for a while. I enjoyed the feeling of her in my arms. I wished it happened more often. "You want to know something?"
Elena just nodded looking up at me.
"I watched you and Stefan dance," I swallowed. "I wanted to make up with Stefan after the wedding, and I was hoping that'd be the start. But…" I remembered the memory so vividly. "He was so happy, and so were you. I remember watching you, and time just seized to exist. I was lost watching you."
Elena listened to every word, and she seemed riddled with what I was trying to say.
"I was crushing on you, and I didn't even know you," I confessed. "You have this light that radiates off of you. You're like a magnet, and I watched as everyone lit up just being around you. It brought me back to a place where Stefan and I loved the same girl. So, I decided to stay away. I already let someone come between us, and I didn't have room for more."
Elena kept listening as I confessed.
"I was kind of a dick when we met…"
"Kind of?" Elena snorted.
"I was mad at you," I swallowed. "I thought that you were the reason that I didn't make up with my brother. But the hard truth was… the reality… I had no one to blame but myself."
Elena frowned, "Were you really planning on making up with him?"
"I was," I nodded.
I watched as tears filled her eyes, "And when you saw me… you changed your mind?"
"Don't" I said sternly, as I warned her. "Don't blame yourself for my own mistakes."
"But if"-
"Elena," I put my hand under her chin, so she'd look me in the eyes. "I love you."
I felt her still in my arms. I'm sure I was overwhelming her with everything, but I needed to say it. I needed to tell her everything.
"I think I always loved you," I continued. "The second I laid eyes on you. And I know that my brother and I couldn't repeat history. And I'm not saying it would've been. You guys were so happy. I could see it. I could feel it. Heck, everyone was mesmerized watching you guys be in love that day." I ran my thumb along her jaw. "Every day I wish I that I would've made up with him before he passed. But then I think we wouldn't be here. You and I wouldn't have been together. Lilly wouldn't exist… And I know that's selfish. But I'm glad how things worked out. It just sucks that I had to lose him in order to have our daughter."
Elena's tears fell down her cheeks, and I instantly regretted saying anything.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have"-
"No," she shook her head. "I feel the same way. I had a lot of guilt for feeling that way, but… I love her. I love our daughter. And I'm glad things worked out the way they did. But I get it. It's awful that we had to lose Stefan for it to happen."
The music faded and an upbeat song came on. Elena naturally pulled away from me, and I noticed her yawn. "Ready to leave?" I asked.
"If you want to stay, we can stay," she shook her head. But I could see it in her eyes. She was exhausted.
"I've wanted to leave, from the second we got here," I smirked.
She just shook her head, before we went to find the bride and groom to congratulate them one last time before we headed back to the hotel.
Elena opened the door to our adjoining rooms, "Oh my gosh, it's like a sauna in my room. I can't get the air conditioner to work," she groaned.
"Hmm," I thought. I wasn't incredibly handy, but I could give it a shot. "I'll try to fix it, why don't you take a shower in my room," I suggested.
"Thank you," she gave me a half smile before, going back in her room to retrieve some clothes.
As Elena was in my shower, I spent a good 15 minutes trying to get it to turn on with zero luck. It was a super-hot day out in Georgia. There was no doubt that it was going to get worse if I didn't get this fixed. I ended up calling the front desk who informed me that their handy man was at home for the night. They didn't have any extra rooms, but they offered to refund her room.
I was trying to mess with it again when Elena came back into her room, her hair damp from the shower and she was in sleep shorts and a tank top. "Any luck?"
"No, it won't even budge," I smacked the top of it for one last resort. "I called the front desk, and they can't help. They will refund this room though," I faked a smile. "We can swap rooms."
"No," she shook her head. "I can't let you sleep in here. You'd probably get heat stroke."
"Well, I'm not letting you sleep in here," I concluded. "So, it looks like you're sleeping with me. In my bed," I smirked. I knew that by being obnoxiously flirty, it'd take away from the awkwardness that we'd be sharing a bed.
Elena rolled her eyes, but I saw a hint of a smile before she turned to head back to my room.
I took a shower while she called her mom to find out how the rest of the night went. We got tons of pictures throughout the night of Lilly which calmed both of our nerves.
I spit into the sink as I finished brushing my teeth before shutting off the light to the bathroom and walked out to find Elena sitting on the bed. She was sitting crisscross on the bed, scrolling through the channels on the TV.
Her eyes flashed to me as I made my way over to the bed. I watched her eyes scan me up and down before swallowing and turning her head back to the TV. "Like what you see?" I teased.
"I just wasn't expecting you to be shirtless," she ignored me.
I decided to drop the teasing, "How's your mom doing with Lilly?"
"Good," she finally clicked on a sitcom and pulled the covers over her body. "She said she's been sleeping for a few hours now, so hopefully she won't wake up too many times for her."
"Good," I pulled the covers over my body too. "I miss her."
"Me too," she sighed. "We should leave as soon as we can tomorrow."
"We will," I agreed.
It didn't take long for Elena to completely pass out, and once she did, I turned off the TV and followed closely behind her.
It felt oddly comforting to know she was right next to me. It took everything in me not to reach out and pull her closer to me. I missed the days when she was in my bed, and we'd be tangled up together. Nothing felt more comforting to me than having Elena's head on my chest, and her legs twisted between mine. Having my hand tangled in her hair, while my other one was snug around her waist. But I'd have to settle for the sound of her breathing and the faint smell of her shampoo.
I was in a peaceful deep sleep when I was suddenly awoken by Elena screaming out, "NOOOOO!" I felt her sit up and scream loudly before she sobbed hysterically.
"What? What happened?!" I sat up in a panic. My mind raced with the possibilities. Did her mom call? Did something happen to Lilly?
Elena looked around confused and when her eyes adjusted to the dark, and they settled on me, she threw her arms around me and cried into my shoulder.
"Elena what is it?" I panicked.
She just shook her head aggressively as I felt her hot tears on my bare shoulder. I looped my arms around her back and tried rubbing soothing circles, but I had no idea what was wrong. "Is it Lilly? Did something happen?"
She shook her head no.
"Are you hurt?" I wondered.
Again, she shook her head.
"Did you have a bad dream?"
She nodded her head yes, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I waited for her to calm down as I gently rocked her in my arms. I was glad that nothing actually happened, but I still felt bad that a bad dream was able to affect her this deeply. I remembered when we dated, she had a few times where she had bad dreams about Stefan, and I'd wake up to her whimpering in her sleep.
"I have bad dreams about Stefan too," I whispered softly in her ear. They haunted me a lot in the beginning. It was always the same thing too. Stefan was in the car accident, and he was calling out for me, but I wasn't there. It was awful, and I was thankful when they finally stopped.
"It wasn't about Stefan," her shaky voice finally spoke. "It was about you."
"What did I do now? Was I some serial killer? Or perhaps a vampire?" I teased.
She cried harder, and I realized my humor was not what she wanted right now. "I can't lose you," she mumbled into my shoulder. She moved into my lap, her legs straddling mine, looping her arms around my neck as she buried her head into the crook of my neck. I was so thrown off by her affection, I thought that maybe I was dreaming. I hugged her tightly around the waist, "where is this coming from?"
"I can't lose you, like I lost Stefan," she barely whispered.
"You won't," I squeezed her closer. I felt a tug at my heart. I never realized she worried about me like that.
"Promise me," she demanded, her arms tightening around me.
"I promise," I whispered. I knew that I couldn't actually promise anything, but if that's what she needed to hear, that's what I'd tell her. "You have to promise me the same in return though."
She just simply nodded her head, but she remained pinned to me like a koala in a tree.
After a few minutes she finally pulled away but remained sitting on my lap. I wiped the tears off her cheeks with my thumbs, "I thought you'd enjoy seeing me vanish," I chuckled. "I'm not exactly your favorite person most days."
I watched her eyes well with more tears, "That's not funny Damon."
"I'm sorry," my thumb rubbed along her cheek. "My comedic timing isn't always appropriate."
"It's almost never appropriate," she glared at me.
"Does this mean you care about me?" I smiled.
"Of course, I do," she sniffled. "You're the father of my child. You're my ex-boyfriend who I was madly in love with."
"Was," I said the word out loud. It stung to hear that the love was past tense, but I couldn't blame her. I was an idiot, who had no one to blame but myself.
She tilted her head to the side, as she studied my face. "Maybe I still do… love you," she was so quiet, I wasn't sure she actually said it. "Even though you drive me mad."
I smiled, my hands still resting on her hips. I could feel my heart pounding as I took in her words. My mind was racing with words to say, but nothing seemed to come to my mouth. So, while I sat there frozen, I watched as she leaned in.
I couldn't wait any longer. I too leaned in and when our lips touched, I felt like I was home. Everything seemed to fall into place, and every unanswered prayer was answered. Every ounce of pain was healed. Every piece of the puzzle had fallen into place.
I pulled her closer to me, as her fingers weaved in my hair, tugging my hair as she opened her mouth to let me in. Her taste was so familiar, and I missed it. I sucked on her lower lip as she ground her hips down on mine, and sounds escaped both our mouths.
I kissed down her jaw, down her neck as she tilted her head back giving me better access. Her skin felt like it was on fire. I licked and nibbled on her collarbone, and she moaned, grinding her hips harder into mine, so that her center glided along my very erect cock.
"Damon," she whimpered. "I need you."
She didn't need to ask me twice. I found the hem of her tank top and pulled it off her, throwing it off to the side. No bra, less barriers. I rolled her puckered nipples between my fingers as I reconnected our lips. I knew she her breasts had gotten bigger from having Lilly, but I was shocked at their size now that I was getting a good handful.
I felt like a teenage boy. I was starting to lose my mind, needing to be buried inside her already, but I wanted her to enjoy this. I wanted her to take this at her pace. Plus, I knew she had just given birth about four months ago, and as far as my knowledge, the last time she had sex was with me, and that was basically a year ago. Perhaps that's why I felt like a teenager. It had been a really long time for me, and my body was losing control.
"Now Damon," she begged. "I need you now."
I flipped her over, and took off her shorts, along with her panties. "Are you sure?" I asked between kisses, as my fingers found her center. Holy shit, she was soaking wet. I groaned when my fingers rubbed quick circles over her clit.
Elena opened her legs wider, arching her back as she whimpered in pleasure. "Yes!" She kissed me, her tongue gliding over my bottom lip. "Yes, I'm sure."
Her hand trailed down my chest, until she reached into my sweatpants and pulled out my rock-hard cock. I shuttered just from her touch. "I want you," she moaned, as she slowly moved her hand up and down my shaft.
She pulled my pants down and I helped her by kicking them off my ankles. I rolled on top of her, and just feeling her wet slick opening against my throbbing erection had me almost lose it right then and there. She moved her hips up so the head of my penis entered her, and we both let out a moan. "Wait," I breathed pushing off her.
"What?" She sounded disappointed.
"Condom," I breathed, trying to think responsibly. "No offense, but I don't trust your birth control now."
"You're right," she agreed. "Do you have one?"
I nodded before fishing my wallet out of my pants from earlier and finding a condom. I ripped it open and slid it on. I crawled back over her and smirked down at her. "As much as we make the most beautiful babies, I think we should figure out some things before blessing the world again with our genetics."
Elena giggled but nodded her head in agreement.
I ran my hand over her face, brushing the stray hairs from her eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I wanted to make sure this just wasn't her hormones, since it's been so long. I didn't want her to wake up and regret everything.
"I'm sure," she nodded. "I just might… be a little tight," she said embarrassed. "It's been… a long time."
"I'll be gentle," I promised. "And it's been a while for me too… so hopefully I last," I joked.
Elena giggled before kissing my lips.
"I love you," I looked down at her, when she pulled away.
"I love you too," she smiled.
My fingers found her center making sure she was still ready and once she opened for me, I slowly pushed in. And she was right, she was tight… very tight. Which made it that much harder for me to not explode. She tensed as I slid in, but she also threw her head back and moaned.
I leaned down and gently laid kisses on her throat. Once I was fully seated inside her I gave it a minute, so she could adjust, and so I could calm down. After a minute Elena started moving slowly, unable to resist any longer.
I pushed in and pulled out slowly, praying I could make it last long enough for her to have an orgasm. Our breathing was in sync. It was heavy and slow. Our thrusts were even and deep. My hands roamed her body, as her hands roamed mine. I missed this, I missed her.
Elena starting shuttering, so I knew she was close. Just knowing she was on the brink of my climax, had my body climax quickly. My thumb found her nipple, knowing it was her weakness and we climaxed together. It felt like it lasted an eternity, it just wouldn't stop. Both of us were shaking from the overwhelming feeling.
After I pulled out of her, I quickly went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When I came back to bed, she was laying down a smile still on her face. "That felt different," she said, as I laid down next to her.
"A good different, I hope," I smirked. I grabbed her hand and intertwined it with mine, gently rubbing my thumb along hers.
"Very good," she bit her lip trying to contain her smile.
"I second that," I kissed her hand. "I hope that it wasn't just a onetime thing."
"I was hoping for a round two," she smiled mischievously.
"I forgot how high of a sex drive you have," I smirked. "I'm going to need a minute, but in the meantime…" I detached our hands and slowly crawled my way down to her delicious wet center.
She sat up on her elbows. "Wait," she grabbed me by the chin and pulled our faces so she could look me in the eyes. "We should probably talk about what this means… I have so many things I want to ask you."
"Elena, we have a four-hour drive home tomorrow," I reminded her. "And right now, we have an entire hotel room to ourselves, with no baby."
"You're right," she let go of my face, and collapsed back on the pillows. "Continue."
I chuckled before going down on her and tasting her sweet nectar.
We were on the road early the next morning. Unfortunately, we didn't get a repeat of last night because I had only one condom with me, so we packed up, checked out and got breakfast on our way out.
Elena sat in my Camaro with her feet perched on my dashboard as she picked away at her muffin.
"So…" I rolled up the wrapper to my breakfast sandwich and handed it to her to throw in a paper bag. "You had some questions for me?"
Elena shrugged focusing on her muffin, "I just… I'm scared it's not going to work out again. And this time there is so much more at stake. We have another person to consider."
I understood her fears, because I had them too. The last thing I wanted was for Lilly to grow up in a broken family. "Well, I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen again. So, fire away, ask me your questions."
"I guess the breakup… Why did you do it? I want to know what the problem was so we can fix it," she kept her eyes out on the road.
I took a deep breath trying to go back to that time. "I guess for me it kind of added up to a couple things. The main thing was my job. I felt like I had to choose between the two of you, because you were both taking up so much of my time. And before you I had been trying for years and years for it to take off and nothing was happening. So of course, it takes off when I start seeing you." I looked over at Elena and she was still looking away from me, but I could tell she was listening.
"I felt like I couldn't turn down any jobs otherwise I thought they'd stop coming. And the more offers I got, it started to overwhelm me when I realized I was never really coming home. Watching you get so hurt and upset for not making time for you killed me. I knew you saw it as me choosing work over you, and I didn't like making you feel like a second choice." It was strange talking about how I felt back then, because I didn't feel that way today. My job seemed less important now. Even though I enjoyed it, I'd give it up in a heartbeat if she asked me too.
"I was afraid of resenting you if I let it go," I said honestly. "Instead, I realized without you, life was pretty meaningless. I was miserable in LA. That's why I came to see you at the book signing. I wanted to fix things."
"What if I wouldn't have been pregnant? Would you still have come back home?" She asked.
"I don't know if I would've come home right away, but I was planning on begging you to take me back. I was ready to grovel at your feet," I reflected on how much I lost in that time. Photography lost its gratification when I no longer had Elena to come home to. "Finding out about your pregnancy just made it more complicated."
"Why didn't you ask me to come with you?" She finally looked at me, ignoring my confession.
"I thought about it a lot," I admitted. "But it felt selfish of me to ask you to do that for me. You had just lost Stefan, you had a career, and all your friends and family are here. I couldn't ask that of you."
"It hurt me more that you didn't even ask," she frowned. "Even if I would've said no, the thought of you wanting me to come would've been enough for me. But you didn't."
I frowned, "I didn't realize that." I shook my head. "I'm really sorry."
"What about long distance? Why didn't you even consider that?" She moved forward.
"I didn't come home enough as is, it wasn't going to change just because we slapped a long-distance label on it," I reminded her.
"It bothers me that you didn't even try… at all. You just gave up," she huffed.
"I know, believe me. I did give up, and I regretted it, every single second I was there."
Elena was silent for a minute trying to take it all in, "What else?"
"What do you mean?" I looked over at her confused.
"You said there were a couple of reasons why we broke up, so what else?" She reminded me.
I took a deep breath. Revealing this, made me feel a little insecure, and I didn't like showing my insecurities. "Stefan," My voice was quiet. "I felt like I was always being compared to Stefan in your eyes, and I knew I could never live up to that."
"What?" She seemed thrown off by this revelation. "What made you think I was comparing you?"
"You were always worried about what people thought about our relationship. I know that I'm the black sheep in my family, and… it felt like you were ashamed," I kept my eyes on the road. I didn't want to look at her. Not when I was feeling vulnerable. It made me feel uncomfortable.
"Damon," her voice was soft like velvet. "I had no idea that's how you perceived it. Because that is the farthest thing from the truth. I wasn't ashamed of you… I was ashamed of me."
"I thought people would judge me for moving on so quickly. Especially with you, because you're his brother. I didn't want people to think that I was some homewrecker."
She rested her hand on my thigh and turned her body towards mine. "And you are not a black sheep. You have no idea how much you healed me. I don't know if I would be where I am today, if it weren't for you. You were the one who got me back into writing. You were the one who made me feel alive and free. You were the one who got me to truly smile and laugh." She waited for me to turn my head to look at her. "You are not Stefan. And I don't want you to be. I like you… Just the way you are."
I gave her a crooked smile, before placing my hand under her chin to give her a quick kiss before turning my eyes back on the road.
"I think we should take things slow though," she continued. "I don't want Lilly getting caught up in this."
"Define slow."
Elena shrugged, "We go on dates. We can have family time together, the three of us. No sleepovers."
I nodded my head slowly. I was happy to do anything if that meant I could have her in my life. "Can we kiss?"
I noticed Elena smile, "We can kiss. We just have to be really careful. With our hearts, I mean."
"I will," I promised her.
"You can't just run off on me again," she demanded.
"I won't. Plus, I would never leave Lilly," My heart just hurt thinking about it.
"I know you wouldn't leave her. You're a really good dad. I one hundred percent trust you with her heart now."
"But not with yours," I clarified.
She was silent for a minute before silently nodding her head.
"I get it," I sighed, hating the fact. "I'll just have to prove myself to you."
"I believe in second chances," she turned my cheek so I would look at her. "But I don't believe in third and fourths."
I nodded my head looking her in the eye, so she knew I was serious. "I won't screw it up. I promise you."
I turned my head back to the road, and Elena laid her head on my shoulder.
There was still a lot to talk about, but it was a good start. I think we both knew things would be differently this time around. I think we did rush into things after Stefan's passing. We were both grieving, and we found comfort in each other's arms. But instead of dealing with the grief head on, we buried it. And we both paid the consequences for it.
But now, things were different. We were now truly healing… together.
A/N: Please let me know what you thought! I hope you enjoyed this story overall. :)
