::
[Can that be us?]
::
They sat right beside the railing, comfortably cuddling into each other with the heavy quilt around them and the stars never seem to shine so brightly in Atsushi's life.
It was quiet as it was peaceful and Atsushi is cuddling right beside the person who he held dearest. Who he love and love and love and cried for. Dazai's arms tightened around him as if the older man knows that his lines of thought are sliding through the dark corner.
...
...
Dazai is warm. Warm and breathing and alive.
Still can moving on and continue to live.
And Atsushi needs to break this peaceful illusion that they have trapped themselves in. To tear down the lies and illusion that everything will be alright. It never was. And it never will be. It hurt. And it makes something inside Atsushi twist in a painful way that not even his chronic pain or medical treatment had ever done.
So Atsushi speak. His voice cracks through the silent night. "I want to spend more time with you." he let out a soft exhale and burrows himself deeper into Dazai's embrace. "I wish I can have a future with you." It echoes through the empty rooftop, passed along the night wind and Atsushi fear that it fell on deaf ears.
But the slight tremble that he felt right behind him makes Atsushi realise that Dazai had heard it loud and clear. Atsushi moved his hands - his thin and frail hands, left with only bones and skin than fat - and gently put them above Dazai's hands around him. Atsushi's action makes Dazai to tightened his arms around him. Atsushi should feel suffocated with the tightness but all he feels right now is heartbreak and sorrow.
Atsushi continued in a whisper, "I wish we can..."
...
...
"But we can't."
Ahh.. What a cruel world.
"What if I just go with you?" Dazai questioned softly.
"!" Atsushi quickly turned around and wrapped his arms around Dazai. His heartbeat too fast as his ears ringed at Dazai's question. It rattled his whole world and Atsushi never ever ever wanted to hear it ever again. "You can't do it, Dazai-san. Life is a precious gift that not everyone is lucky enough to have."
Dazai can't refute that Not when his view on life is screwed. Not when all he wishes for is for Atsushi to be with him tomorrow, the day after that, and every day in the future. But the universe just won't let them be.
At that moment, Dazai heard Oda's voice. The one when his friend sat right beside the french window with one of his favourite novel in hands.
"They are soulmates. They are perfect for each other and they complete each other. Yet the whole world goes against them. And yet, they preserved. They still strongly loving each other, they love and love that till the end, their love held stronger than the world."
Would that be them? Can that be them? That little fairy tale that Oda loved so much...
Can that be them so that the world will bend on their wishes and transcend everything?
::
Yes, I write this instead of the script that I need for tomorrow oral test. HAHAHA
It's an open ending. Anything can happen. Either Atsushi lives and they have their happy ending.
Or Atsushi passed away and despite everything, Dazai decided it better to accompany his beloved as soon as possible rather than wait for the time to strangle him to death. He was never a patient man after all.
"I wanted you to live a full life..."
"But my life is with you, Atsushi."
