I woke up on something soft. It was a bed. The same bed I woke up in three months ago.
The sunlight outside slowly pried opened my eyes to reveal the place where it all started. I was in the same expensive room I woke up three months ago in. The same bed that, by how large it was and how soft sheets felt, was still too expensive for me to be sleeping in. The same vanilla color on the walls and the same furniture that made the room still feel rich, if bare and unlived in. The kind of room you'd find in an expensive condo.
The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh? Even the mirror and the table were in the same spot.
As I stretched my limbs, I could tell my body was healed. Stiff, lethargic, weak and really hungry; but healed. More than anything, I was happy my arm wasn't on fire anymore.
I turned my head to see Flole of, all people, sitting down reading a book. The lights were off, so she was next to the window using the soft daylight to read. She was still in that black, green-tinted suit that she always wore.
"Flole?" I asked intelligently.
She looked up at me in surprise. What little light in the room reflecting off her grass-green eyes through the dimness of the room. A small smile lit up her face the moment her eyes landed on me.
I studied her. Now that I think about it, she was just as Panza described her: Flole was very androgynous. It was obvious up close she was a woman: she carried herself one like one and sounded like one. But I could understand her being mistaken as a boy from far away and if you squinted your eyes. And if she was demolishing dozens of monstrous gorilla-yeti things by herself.
Flole brought me out of my musings, "James! I'm glad you're awake. Before you ask, you've been sleeping since you passed out yesterday. How do you feel?" she asked her soft, kind voice.
I kicked my legs over the bed, stood up, and tested my body. My whole body felt really, really sore. All my muscles were taut, tender, and tired. The worst of the pain was in my left shoulder and my back.
I looked down and realized I was in my boxers, but I bet everyone saw me naked when I was hurt so... who cares. Plus, I'm guessing Flole was my physician? Anyways, no need to be shameful. I cracked my neck and moved around, getting my blood flowing. I didn't feel brand new but, compared to yesterday, my body felt like night and day. Other than my shoulder, back, exhaustion, and hunger; I was ok. Honestly.
I rotated my left arm while rubbing my shoulder with my right hand, hoping Flole's words were true. I heard a clicking sound every time I raised my arm above my head and a slight catching feeling, but other than that it was fine. I stared down to my torso and saw a massive scar taking up residence across most of my chest. I spread my fingers and placed my hand on my chest, the scar was wider than my hand spread out. Lastly I looked at my right hand. Yesterday it was on fire and today it was completely fine. Not even a mark or a blister.
My green eyes were full of surprise when I met Flole's equally green eyes. She stared at me with equal measures of amusement and disapproval.
"Funny enough, that cut and your burns were easy to treat. The worst of your injuries were your shoulder and arm. You made a full recovery, but you're lucky that it wasn't any worse. The shoulder is a delicate, complicated joint; any more damage could have made it useless," she said with a small frown on her face as she ended her small summary.
"I broke my shoulder, how much worse could I have made it?" I said, genuinely and morbidly curious about how bad my injury could have been.
"You had minor tears in your shoulder ligaments due to your dislocated shoulder. Your ligaments and muscles were also severely hyperextended, contributing to your shoulder injury. All that came from you're climbing stunt. But the bones in your shoulder and the joint itself are fine. What you actually 'broke' was your humerus. Specifically, near the neck of the humerus, where it meets the shoulder joint. That's why it felt like your shoulder was broken." She spoke without pause, blasting me with info like a machine gun.
She continued on. A verbal freight train, "It was a simple, clean enough fracture that Brianna and I could heal you. You could have completely torn your rotator cuff, and had a comminuted fracture or even a compound fracture. At that point neither Briannaisa nor I could have helped you without weeks of recovery," she said in a doctorly tone.
"Commie muted, what?" I said very smartly.
She sighed, "A bone fracture where your bones are in pieces."
"Oh. But I mean, it felt way worse though. Like, I couldn't even lift my arm," I said even smartly...ier? I'm surprised that I wasn't in far worse shape by how tired and sluggish my thoughts were.
"You had minor tears to your ligaments combined with a simple fracture to your arm. Not a simple hairline fracture. James, the bone was separated by a thin break. The fact you could even move it at all during your confrontation with Briannaisa and Kalvin was a testament to your will," Flole said with a small smile that quickly turned into an even deeper frown.
"Anything more and you'd have done permanent damage. Be more careful!" she pouted. Seriously, she pouted. I frowned.
She didn't take that very well as she tore into me again, "Your whole body was nearly one giant bruise! Your back, in particular, was a sight. Let me tell you this mister, if your back muscles weren't so overdeveloped you could have had major spinal damage from all the impacts to your back!" she squealed in a high-pitched voice, red faced and out of breath.
"Yeah, yeah. Things could have been worse, I get it," I snapped back, regretting my choice to ask for more info and annoyed at the feeling of being mothered by someone who pretended to be my aunt.
"I'm serious, James. If we weren't here, you'd be out for months recovering. Any worse and you would have gone through major surgery, so even with our abilities you'd have missed out on the Hunter Exam," she said, dead serious.
I grimaced and nodded, "I understand what you're saying and know where you're going with this. I'll be more careful during the exam."
She glared at me for a few more seconds before she closed her eyes and letting a sigh out. She nodded and spoke, "That's all I wanted to hear. I'll bring Mayer in."
I looked around for some clothes but found none. Shrugging, I sat down and waited for Mayer. I looked around to see how things had changed.
Oh man. I'm back in Yorknew City.
NOW YOU'RE IN YORKNEEEEW. THESE STREETS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BRA-
Alright, I'll stop.
I laughed as I got up and stood in front of the mirror that w- Holy crap do I look way different! I think I even grew an inch.
I had a beard! I never had a beard before! I mean, I knew I was growing a beard! But seeing was a sight!
I moved on from my beard to my shaggy, curly hair. It was starting to look like a used mop. Hmm… Panza said Flole's hair color looked like a beet. Yeah, my hair kinda was beet colored in a certain light. But with how hair works, depending on the light and shadow, it looked either dark red, brown, or dark purple. I didn't like it.
I didn't like it at all. I hated having weird, anime hair. I only watched a few animes when I was younger, but the one thing that bugged me was the hair. I always hated that Yugioh-hair thing a lot of anime characters have. My hair wasn't that bad, but still... At least my hair was only curly, not gravity defying. Call me boring, but I liked having normal black, straight hair.
Pfft. Imagine I was in an anime? This Earth has got some weird stuff in it, but it's nothing like any cartoon I ever saw. And what kids cartoon had a bunch of gangsters as the main characters?
I left my musings behind and stared at my beard. It was big, puffy, and the same strange shade of red. I hated it worse than my hair. It made me look like a weird lumberjack, or a viking. My beard was being shaved off as soon as possible.
That was the least of the changes though... I was HUGE! Well, by comparison to what I used to look like. I now looked like an Olympian or a fitness model! Every single one of my muscles were defined and hard, popping out with every movement I did in front of the mirror. I could see my muscles visibly shifted and moved under my skin without even trying, not a drop of body fat getting in the way of seeing the striations of my muscles. It was kind of disgusting, actually... The most noticeable things were my legs and back: both were positively ridiculous, belonging to both a heavyweight boxer and an Olympic level sprinter, respectively.
Then I realized I was on that level now. I could punch harder than any boxer and run faster and longer than any kind of athlete back on Earth. Hell, I'm pretty sure I broke the standing jump world record my first day in the White Death. Now that I think about it, all the tissue in my body must be tougher too. The distance I fell off that damned tree and the blows from Ceasar were already far beyond what a normal human could endure.
Now that I had a moment to myself to think… I wasn't human anymore. That really blew my mind.
I turned back to the mirror and really studied myself, not just getting caught up in the moment. I was ridiculously ripped, but not oversized like the Domos were. My muscle was compact and lean, the only thing standing out was my back and legs. Flole was right about my back, it was crazy oversized and overdeveloped, but that makes sense considering the bulk of my training comprised swinging a sword or punching. I was nowhere near bodybuilder enormous like Mayer or even gymnast huge like the twins, but god damn did I look like a specimen now.
I will admit my confidence levels were at an all-time high. Especially considering how much weight I gained. I was a hundred and thirty-eight pounds before and now I was-
Actually, I don't know how much I weighted... I walked into the bathroom and found there was a scale. Stepping on it, I found I had gained fifty-five fucking pounds! My eyes felt like they popped out in disbelief. The scale said I was eighty seven and half kilos, so a hundred and ninety-three pounds. And that all muscle too, not an ounce of extra fat on my body.
I heard someone open the door to the condo. I knew it was Mayer… because Flole said she would send him. No special training needed. But you'd think it would be obvious to tell Mayer was coming from how big he was, but no. It was the opposite. That man was a ghost when he wanted to be. Now that I think about it, the man he was surprisingly light-footed. You'd expect a man to the size of him to walk like an elephant, but I think he had to purposely make the sound of footsteps so he wouldn't freak people out...
Wow. Now that I think about it, I only just realized that fact. Jeez, I must have changed a lot in these three months. I remember Mayer sneaking up behind me on my first day, now I was aware most of the time didn't make a sound.
The giant mustachioed blonde walked into the bathroom as I was standing on the scale. He was wearing the same thing he always wore: a sleeveless red shirt, baggy grey cloth pants, a belt with a D on it and boots. I must've looked hilarious since he smirked the moment he saw me. I don't blame him: I had a big goofy smile, I was only in my boxers, and I was admiring my weight.
"I see you have finally realized how much you have changed. Quite the journey. You were nothing more than skin and bones when you were given to me," he said with pride.
"Yeah. Fuuuck... Yeah, I was scrawny," I said intelligently, as I remembered how I used to look, "Kinda obvious why you and everyone thought I'd fail. I thought I'd fail."
"You did excellent James. I am surprised at how much your training has come together in the last week," he coughed and looked sheepish. Strange, considering how stoic he usually was, "I...uh...must apologize for the apes. They are usually asleep during the winter, dormant until spring. You were only supposed to fight the weaker apes..."
I shrugged as I got off the scale, "I don't think anyone could have known the results would be what they were. If anything, Flole did too good a job," I finished, referring to Flole keeping the forest around Mayer safe from abominable snowmen.
Mayer chuckled, but had an eyebrow raised in surprise, "How did you know Flole was protecting our training ground from the Belban Apes?"
The giant let me pass him as I walked back into the master bedroom and sat down on the bed. Mayer had his arms crossed as he looked at me expectedly.
I snickered, "Man, can't you let me be mysterious? Fine, I didn't see it. Your old trainer, Quixote Panza, did. He found me and saved me during my first day in those god awful woods. The old man was also the one who fused all my training together," I said, emphasizing my point by compressing an imaginary ball with my hands.
Mayer looked like he had seen, or in this case, heard a ghost. I looked at him in confusion, "Uh, you ok Mayer?"
The only time I ever saw Mayer even slightly bothered was when I went off on him for my face. Every other time he was like a statue. Now he was pale and had the barest emotion of shock on his face. He rubbed his mouth so tightly with his oven mitt-sized hands that I thought he was going to rip his jaw off. One of the most physically powerful men in the world looked into the distance like he was having a Vietnam flashback or something.
"MAYER!" I yelled while clapping my hands to draw his attention back to Earth. He looked at me like I just appeared from thin air, before looking around and realizing where he was.
"My apologies. I was... thinking back to something. I have not heard that name in a long time," the giant whispered.
"Heh, guess he wasn't lying when he said he trained you hard. He said he put you through hell. Anyways, he told me to tell you three things," I closed my eyes and remembered what Panza said.
"And tell Mayer thank you for me. He'll know what I'm talking about. Also, tell him to let go of his anger. He's got two kids to take care of, and an apprentice to guide. This is no time to start thinking about dying," I remembered verbatim, though translating it from prospector speak.
Mayer looked at me with eyes so wide I thought he was seeing right through me. My trainer slowly closed his eyes and nodded, "Thank you for that, James. I am surprised you met him. He w... is quite the person, isn't he?"
I laughed, "Yeah, that man's crazy. He sounds exactly like Yosemite sam, er, a cartoon character from my world."
Mayer smiled, but it looked fragile for some reason, "He has a manner of speaking all his own. Though it is no wonder you survived those wastes with all the apes frenzied. No man has survived that place longer than him."
"Yeah, I can tell. And I barely survived a week," I nodded, remembering those vicious apes.
"Evira has sent the maids to bring food and clothing. They will be here shortly, but before that, I must ask you something," Mayer said, his eyes serious.
I nodded and gestured him to go on. He nodded and turned around, grabbing a wooden sword I didn't realize was leaning against the door of the master bedroom. It was the Stick, the wooden training sword that beat me into who I am today. With only two or three steps of his massive legs, he cleared the distance and presented the sword to me with his giant hands. He held Stick out like a Shogun bestowing upon me a sword. It looked like a twig in his ham hock-sized hands.
"You have done everything I have asked of you these last three months. Though you struggled and complained, as any person would, you did not give up once. Even during the worst of it, you stuck it through until the end. You proved beyond any doubt that you deserve to take the Hunter Exam. Yet more than that, I think you deserve to be my apprentice," Mayer said sincerely.
I stared at him like a dumb-ass. I had no idea what to say, so my mouth spoke for me, "What?"
He sighed, "I understand this is quite sudden, but I see potential in you James. You have the one thing all masters wish to see in their students."
I continued to stare at him, confused. What was it I had, the ability to take an ass-kicking and keep on ticking? I didn't say that; I had some sense. Instead, I very eloquently said, "What?"
"You have heart and will. That is something that cannot be taught. I would have a single of you over a thousand geniuses," my teacher said with absolute certainty.
I reached out slowly towards the Stick, tentatively touching the wooden sword. As though if I moved too fast, Mayer's offer would disappear. I wrapped my hands around the piece of wood, the same Stick that was used by... well, everyone to beat the shit out of me. That beat my fatigue away and made me achieve the impossible. Jesus Christ, the Stick was the reason I'm here and alive.
My mouth moved numbly as I tried to find the words to express how much this meant to me. My brain scrambling to find the words to make a grand speech. A proclamation of how happy I was at that moment, to express how much pride swelled inside my chest at that second. To tell Mayer how much I respected and admired him, as a person and as a mentor. To give a rousing oration of my gratitude for everything he had done for me, and how much I would work to live up to his standards. A speech for the angels.
Instead, I found ten simple words, "Thank you, Mayer. I accept. I won't let you down."
Mayer's smile was absolutely beaming... and disturbing, actually. I never saw him this happy the whole time I've been with him. I don't know if it was the juxtaposition of happiness on a man so stoic, but I was somewhat terrified at the idea of a happy Mayer.
What if it like the twins? Oh god…
While disconcerted by the jolly ungreen giant, I still met his smile with my own, "So, how many apprentices have you had?"
His smile disappeared, and he turned back into the stoic juggernaut I knew, "You are my third. My first was over thirty years ago. He came to me asking to be a Hunter, so I trained him for over a year. He died during the Exam."
The next student he had seemed to elicit some more emotion than frank indifference, "My second was a young man named Leon de Sol. In many ways, he was like you, and in far more ways he was incomparably beyond you. Come to think of it, you are my least talented person I have trained, hmm," he said as he looked up at the ceiling with a satisfied look on his face. Like he read a mildly interesting trivia question. Or was mentally crossing off something from a damn bucket list!
"Jeez, thanks for kicking my ego in the nuts," I said as I looked at him flatly, my arms crossed in front of me as I tried to glare at him while half-naked.
My new master shrugged, "Talent alone is not the sole indicator of success, you know this yourself. You defeated four Hunters, far more talented than you are with intelligence."
I shrugged. I'm not going to toot my own horn, especially when I didn't win a fair and square fight, "They were holding back by, like, ninety-nine point nine, nine, nine, repeating percent. I mean, with the sound they made they must have killed hundreds of apes. I only killed one, technically, and I didn't even pull the trigger."
Mayer looked at me with a scrutinizing look, wanting to say something, but shook his head and let it go. He sighed and spoke, "You must get that thought out of your head. 'Fair-fight' will not exist in the Hunter Exam, nor in reality. You must be content with achieving victory, no matter what kind it is or how it is gained."
"I know what you're saying, but that still doesn't make me feel satisfied. If I'm winning because I'm stacking the deck against someone, or someone is handicapped, is it really winning? How good of a Hunter will I be if I only win when I'm supposed to win?" I asked, honestly and seriously.
My giant master closed his eyes and sighed, "I understand, and you bring up fair points, but only the living can contemplate those thoughts. I recommend winning by any means now and philosophizing later."
I squinted my eye at Mayer, "I feel like you've had this conversation before."
He rolled his eyes, hard, "Kalvin does not care that he wins, only that he wins on his terms. That means winning as theatrically or as morally as possible. My previous apprentice, Leon, was talented enough that his issue was not whether he could win, it was whether he would stay focused enough to win. He had the blasted habit of trying to achieve victory as, in his own words, 'flashy as possible'," he finished by flexing his jaw muscles in aggravation.
Mayer's voice was so frustrated I felt frustrated for him. I spoke up in agreement, "I don't know much about Kalvin, other than he likes to kick my ass for some reason. But when we fought in the forest he was... yeah theatrical is the correct word. He could have stopped me if he didn't start babbling."
Mayer snorted in amusement, "Yes. He has quite the ego. You, on the other hand, feel insecure about your newfound strength. You think too much. You will fail if you start believing you should win a certain way, or are above certain tactics, or above taking advantage of a weakened opponent. You did all these things during your testing, and you did them well. You did exactly what you needed to do against the four of them. If you stood your ground against them, you would have lost and failed the test. You are not the bull, you are the matador. Remember that, James."
I raised my hand to concede defeat, "Ok, ok. I'll stop thinking about things like that. Um, one last thing that I hope isn't about 'being insecure', or whatever, but didn't I technically lose when they pushed me through the gate?"
Mayer crossed his arms and breathed deeply. He stared at the ceiling as though in deep in thought before sighing and turning to me, "Yes, but you would have passed, regardless. You had done enough by that point to prove you were ready for the Hunter Exam. Flole was grading you during your time in the forest. As if this were a Hunter Exam. You were facing trained Hunters, you were not expected to do much more than survive. Secondly, I had specifically requested the Maids and my children not to use...magic while facing you. They disobeyed me."
"You mean when I lit those two on fire?" I said, snickering while mimicking an expanding fireball with my hands.
"Yes. They used they're...magic to minimize the damage done to them," he nodded seriously.
"You mean Nen right?" I said with a wink, a shit-eating grin and two fingers pointing at him like Buddy Jesus.
Seeing a seven-foot-tall germanisque ubermensch turn into a bewildered statue was hilarious. His eyes had somehow gone white while he stared off into space, his eyes completely unfocused. Today was the most emotion I've seen from this man ever, and it was turning out to be awesome.
Well, that was until he picked me up by my shoulders and started throttling me in the air like a rag doll. The world turned into a blur of vibrations as the man held me outstretched without issue, shaking me as violently as possible. I felt like my neck was on the verge of snapping from whiplash as my head moved back and forth like a speed bag. My stomach wanted to release its contents in a misguided attempt to save my life, I fought it because I rather not do that. I never thought I would be the first adult to die from shaken baby syndrome.
"DID PANZA TELL YOU THIS?! WHO REVEALED TO YOU THIS INFORMATION?! I SHALL SKIN THEM ALIVE AND THEN TAR THEM!" desperately yelling into my face.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I said heroically.
The Maids saved me from being shaken to death when they opened the door. Mayer dropped me on the bed like a bag of potatoes, my world unsteady and tilting. I felt like I went on the world's worst tilt-a-whirl.
"What's going on here?" asked the last person who I thought would be my savior, Briannaisa. She was wearing a black maid outfit with an apron-thing, the kind of outfit those stupid animes had women wear too much. Except it was far more modest, with the skirt reaching her calves. Her brunette hair was in a single ponytail, and she had that white thing that maids wore on their heads. Was it a bandana? I don't know crap about maids.
Claudette gave me a cheery wave at my slumped form, her brilliant smile only matched by her bright blonde hair. She wore an identical outfit to Briannaisa, one fitted to her, erm, curvy form. Where the Briannaisa was thin and incredibly athletic, Claudette was shorter and looked like a Scandinavian model. She also had two ponytails that looked like drills. Those things stayed in the air in the face of all the known laws of physics. No amount of hairspray could do that. What witchcraft was this?
I hated to admit it, but they were beautiful. It wasn't a slight to them or some stupid misogynism. It's just that I've had bad experiences with 'beautiful' people, and so I don't really evaluate a person based on their looks or appearance. My mother was as gorgeous as they come, and her soul was rotten to the core. My dad was plain as hell, but could be the life of a party on only two wheels. I learned very early on that looks meant nothing. For the most part, I ignored people's appearances entirely.
Obviously, some people I can't ignore (look at Mayer, what is he?!), but since I used to look plain as all hell, it was only right I evaluated people accordingly. As corny as it sounded, it's what mattered on the inside.
And Claudette and Briannaisa were awesome people, both inside and out.
They also looked hilarious right now. I after a week of fighting against them a frozen hellhole… I forgot they were maids. Especially when, during the test, they looked like the Ice Climbers in their black parkas. Now they looked, well, like cosplayers.
I got up on my wobbly arms and knees as I stared at the two women like a drunk dog, "Ugh. You guys look hilarious. I forgot this was your job," I said as I tried to regain my sense of balance from being shaken like a martini.
"Tch, here's your clothes," Brianniasa said as launched them at my head, throwing the bundle of clothing hard enough that the moment it hit me I somehow back flipped into the air and landed face down onto the bed.
I hate this superpowered world some times.
"Ow..." I muffled into my bed, defeated.
"That's what you get for making fun of us," the brunette said beyond my vision that was all bed.
I conceded defeat and slowly got up to put on my clothes. I was annoyed the moment I unfolded the clothing. They were the same fucking clothes I wore when I first got here! A white undershirt, a white, long-sleeved button-up, black slacks, a pair of socks, and black loafers. Begrudgingly I put them on. I'll give them this, at least they're good at getting my size right. Even when I'm no longer a stickman.
"These clothes suck. Can I get something else, please? I look like I'm gonna' break into a tap dance," I said annoyed as I looked myself over. All I needed was a cane, a coat, and a top hat.
'Naisa gave me a dismissive look, "No. Besides, mom wants you to meet her in ten minutes."
"What? Oh, no 'Lady Evira' anymore, now it's mom? Flexing your family cred, huh? What happened to professionalism?" I said, just as dismissively.
Claudette shrugged, somehow apologizing for Briannaisa, "She is our mother though, hehe.."
Briannaisa sniffed, rolling her eyes, "Besides, we both know you wouldn't want us acting like that."
I laughed. 'Wouldn't want acting like that' was true, I wouldn't want my friends being my servants. My training was over, I didn't want them to be at my beck and call. I didn't own them. Claudette was my first friend here. And for all her bluster, Briannaisa was my second. Why would I want my friends to be my subservient to me?
Plus, it's weird seeing them do stuff for me when they could kick my ass. I dunno', that's just me.
Briannaisa snapped me out of my thoughts, "Not that it matters, your trip to the Hunter Exam starts tomorrow. So we couldn't serve your pathetic butt even if we wanted to 'oh master!'," she said sarcastically, sticking a tongue out.
I smiled at her blankly, like a Pinocchio come to life. Or Slappy the Dummy come to wreak havoc. I turned my head to Mayer like the living mannequin I was and pointed at Briannaisa. I almost broke character the moment I saw Mayer muttering to himself as he was trying to figure out who spilled the beans on Nen. He looked like Charlie from Always Sunny trying to figure out who Pepe Silvia was.
"Mayer~", I said like a child asking for ice cream.
Mad, bloodshot eyes looked at me. I was terrified of what I was about to unleash. I did it anyway. Turnabout is fair play, that's like nine-tenths the law, right? Well, I'm just a poor man from Detroit who learned the law from playing Phoenix Wright. What do I know?
Mayer said to be happy with whatever victories, not the manner or methods of achieving it. Right?
Briannaisa tilted her head, her face a mask of confusion.
"She's the one who told me what Nen is~" I said like a child telling his parents who taught him the baaaaaaad word.
You could have heard a microscopic pin drop in that room.
Claudette's eyes widened in horror as she mercilessly abandoned her sister (news to me) and gilded next to me. Briannaisa looked up in horror as Mayer slowly turned around, crouching over the young woman with evil in his eyes. The angle at which he looked at the woman casting a demonic shadow over his face.
"So, it was you who let out the truth," my seven-foot something, close to five hundred pound master said as he slowly reached out towards the hysterically crying woman.
Well, I learned today that Mayer believes in the equality of the sexes. Violently. Briannaisa's head looked like a grapefruit from all the bruises on her head. I felt bad for her, but then I remembered all the times she shot me in the nuts with a pellet gun and all that guilt vanished.
Both Claudette, Briannaisa, and Mayer were walking me into Evira's 'office' for lack of a better term. It was just another condo, well, a penthouse suite. The same one I met her in all those months ago. But still, I thought mobsters were supposed to have offices and stuff? A restaurant, maybe a casino. How is owning an entire condominium in any way mobstery or even conspicuous?
I sighed as I entered the penthouse last behind everyone else. I wasn't being led by an army of guards like the first time I was here. But considering how strong the three leading me were — in a condominium that was owned by Evira no less — I was as safe as it came.
Come to think of it... I could probably defend myself, too.
The comfortable familiarity from being surrounded by friends vanished when I came face to face with Evira. The severe-looking boss of the Tao Long Family. She had reddish hair like my own, but frizzy hair with a triangular hairdo nothing like my own. She smiled softly when she saw me, but her eyes were steel.
What caught me off guard was she wasn't wearing a suit like the last times I met her. She was wearing a white jean jacket over a black, form-fitting dress that ended a little above her knees that displayed her outstanding physique. She was wearing silver hoop earrings and had red lipstick on. The Mafia Queen was also wearing black eyeliner and some blush. Oh yeah, she had black and white flat top shoes on her feet.
This does not compute.
I shook off my confusion and realized there was another person in the room. A teen. He couldn't have been any older than the Twins. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. He had short brown hair shaped in almost like a bowl cut? I don't know anything about hair. He had a pleasant face, nice face; a face that came across as someone who smiled often and as well as thought positive. Similar to Mayer's kids, but the Twins had mouths that seemed to stretch in a hyena-like way when they smiled, ruining the illusion.
He looked like he was wearing a white, full-body long johns underneath this red and yellow tabard dress-thing. The teen looked at me with bright, intelligent eyes. As if he was assessing me and understanding everything about me.
As I sat down on the same couch from months ago, Evira spoke, "James, your different. In every sense of the word."
I fought the urge to sneer at the woman's comment. She knew damn well what would happen to my appearance and didn't say a damn word. My eyes stared at her coldly, "Yes. Very different."
I turned around to see Mayer take up a seat far across the room against the northern part of the living room wall, to the right of Evira. He had his arms crossed, and his eyes shut, mentally tuning out from the conversation. Evira was dead center while the teen was to the right of her. The Maids were nowhere to be seen, no doubt making tea or something in the kitchen like the first time I was here.
My eyes came back to the woman who controlled, well, everything right now. She was sitting on the same sofa chair from months ago, like she was the center of the world. The teen sitting patiently as I futilely stared down Evira. Both of them were looking at me, calmly waiting for me to speak.
I sighed, "Where is everyone? Last time you had an army of people. Where's Flole? And that blonde memory controller... Zelle? Yeah, that was her name, and where are all the guards?" I questioned as I gestured around us.
This conversation was already starting out very different from the one I had with Evira three months ago. There was no tension in the room, no uncertainty, no big fucking goons staring at me. Even if there were mafiosos, I wasn't completely and utterly defenseless against a bunch of mafia men anymore. And she was looking at me like... er, an equal would be too charitable... with respect. Yeah, let's go with respect.
Also, I wasn't nervous or sweating bullets. So three months of training: successful. Pack it up, boys. We're done here!
The Mafia Queen playing valley girl replied, waking me up out of my stupid thoughts. She shrugged before replying, "They're busy people. Zelle handles the day-to-day operations in Glam Gas Land and Huge Stone, down north. Flole is catching up on her missing work."
I nodded. Makes sense. The world doesn't revolve around me, even if lately if felt as if it has...
Wait, Huge Stone? Down North. Hu Ston
HOUSTON
"Are you kidding me? Huge Stone, like Houston Texas?"
Evira shrugged again, her mouth filled with mirth, "Yes. Boarding East Yorbia is Lost Angels, if that makes you feel better," she said, her voice full of amusement. It was at odds with her serious eyes and face.
"This Earth is weird... all right, you wanna' get this going? I suppose this meeting is about the Hunter Exam."
She nodded, "Two for two Mr. Hartford. Quite the intelligence you have, when you apply it," the Mafia queen said condescendingly.
I clenched my jaw and endured her attitude, "So?"
"Ah, it seems you aren't as clever as I thought. Oh well," she closed her eyes and shrugged dismissively. There was a playful smile on her face that made me want to punch her in the...
I glared at her. This was an act. She was doing this on purpose, "What are you doing here? Why are you trying to piss me off on purpose?"
This time she nodded, but not condescendingly, "Heh, sorry. I had to see if it wasn't just your body and thoughts that changed, but your attitude."
I looked away and thought back to the previous times we met. I realized it immediately, "You were judging my temperament."
"Bingo!" she said, popping the 'o' and casually shooting a round from her finger gun.
I sighed, annoyed, "You're acting differently as well. I can tell you're serious, but you're really not acting like it," I pointed out. She was, frankly, nothing like the first two times we met.
She shrugged, "I'm human, aren't I? Can't be 'business' all the time, right? Besides, it's a Sunday. I have a date later," she said playfully, but her eyes never stopped looking like a predator stalking its prey.
One thing became clear as day. She never let down her guard.
"Alright fine, what is the temperament 'test' for then? Haven't I had enough tests?" I said, frustrated.
"I certainly hope not! The next month will be nothing but tests! As one of my Zhulong's agents, and by extension one of my agents, your temperament is important. If you blow your casket from something like this, then I couldn't let you out. You represent me. Considering how you acted the first time we met… I can't have you embarrassing me. And a temper can be a dangerous thing. Ask my ward here, he would know about temper."
I turned to the teen who was staring at me, a soft smile on his face. But there was something else… His eyes were studying me, as if absorbing my very being into his brain. Somehow, it felt like he knew all about me from just a short glance.
I was only three feet away from them, in reality, not a huge distance. But the teen stood up and walked over to shake my hand instead of just greeting from his seat. My father used to tell me it was a sign of character when someone's first instinct was to offer a handshake, especially when they had no reason to. It made me like the kid.
"Hello, my name is Pairo. It's nice to meet you," the teen named said with a genuine smile on his face. I could tell his voice was beginning to deepen, you know, beyond the cracking phase voice phase of puberty. It still sounded young, but the transition from boy to man was starting, and he was beginning to sound like a confident young man.
He was about Briannaisa's height, so around five feet and nine inches tall. His body was lanky and all limbs, the result of a recent growth spurt I'd bet. But he carried himself with maturity, wisdom, and intelligence far beyond his age. He stared at me right in the eyes, not hesitating or looking away. That's something. I definitely liked this kid more than the twins. Honestly, it was shocking how different he was to what I was I had become used to. He was normal.
He looked normal too. Pairo's brown eyes were the same shade as his hair. Real human brown, not weird beet brown like my hair. I think my vision or perception had improved because I swore I saw incision around his irises. I'd bet money he had some type of surgery on his eyes. His face was boyish, but he was growing out of his baby fat induced baby face. His jaw was becoming defined and as his cheeks were thinning out from, well, losing the baby fat.
I stood up and shook Pairo's hand, "Nice to meet you, Pairo. My name is James."
Just as I finished shaking his hands, Briannaisa rolled in with a cart of biscuits and tea. Briannaisa began... to Briannaisa again.
"Stop staring at my lil' bro here, you weirdo. I see you ogling him," I Briannaisa accused somewhere from my right.
I let go of the handshake and stared at Briannaisa in in disgust, "Alright, alright. We can have a vitriolic-type friendship, but none of that talk. He's a fuckin' kid! That shit is gross," I said with a grimace.
"What? Defensive about your kiddie diddling?" 'Naisa said with a gleam in her eye. I knew she was the type of person who wouldn't let this go, especially when she finally found something that bugged me.
So I brought out the big guns, "MAYER, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE SHE TOLD ME ABOUT NEN?!" I tattled like the child I was on the inside.
Mayer spun his head toward us, I swear to god I saw red lights from the shadows that covered his face. Briannaisa held her hands up in front of me in prayer, "Mercy, please..."
"Only if you never go there, ok?" I said. I had a dark and dirty sense of humor, but I refused to be accused of that shit.
"Okaaaaay, pleaaase just stop hiiiiim!" Briannaisa whined, tears forming in her eyes.
I turned to see Mayer slowly getting out of his chair as steam seemed to come out of his mouth. Oh shit.
"Mayer, MAYER! SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE!" I screamed, frantically waving my arms like I was trying to call off an air-strike.
The man immediately slumped back into his chair and looked away, annoyed.
I turned to see Briannaisa crying into her sister's shoulder like, well, a little girl. Claudette was looking at me, annoyed.
"Eh, maybe I took it a bit too far?" I said, an apologetic smile on my face.
"Yes," Claudette said frostily, "I didn't think you enjoyed inflicting pain on a woman. Are you a sadist? A misogynist? Hmm? We're friends, this is how you treat your friends? I thought better of you..."
And in a few simple words, Claudette did to me what Brainnaisa couldn't in three months: she defeated me. I stared at the nicest person I knew, practically an angel, slack-jawed. I felt like George Foreman when Ali hit him with that KO flurry, wobbly and out of it. I had nothing to say, no come back. My heart was destroyed into pieces.
I turned lethargically to Pairo, his eyes filled with amusement. I changed the subject so I could escape my guilt, "So, are you guys related? Are you Briannaisa's brother? You two look similar."
Pairo closed his eyes cheerily and shook is head, his smile never fading, "Oh no. I'm not related by blood. Evira took me in around four years ago. While I am not a 'Tao Long', I do view Briannaisa and Claudette like they are my older sisters."
Briannaisa miraculously recovered from her fear as she slid across the room and placed an arm around her adopted brother, pointing a finger at me, threateningly, like a mobster "That's right. We're family! So don't you start thinkin' 'bout foolin' around with my baby bro!" she ended by waving a fist in my face, and wearing a sneer on hers.
I grew annoyed, "I'm not going to do anything to your brother, what's wrong with you?"
"I know you don't like girls, if you did you'd have released your pent up 'masculinity' on me and my sister over the last three months!" the insane young woman said, pointing an accusatory finger at me. She looked at me like I was a goddamn sex offender.
I turned my head to Evira who was quietly laughing like a maniac. The look I gave her translated into, 'Did you raise her to be like this?' She shrugged.
"First of all, what is wrong with you?! Second, why the hell would I do anything to you two? Not all men are uncontrollable... monsters, Jesus Christ!" I said to Brunette woman with pure disgust in my voice.
"Stop it, all of you. Or I will end it," Mayer said, from his sulking position in the corner of the room. We immediately stopped our stupidity.
Evira laughed, "Well that was enjoyable. You three have sure grown close," she looked over to a clock on the wall. Its hands were slowly approaching noon.
"Well, I will be off then. I saw all I needed to see, and I think you're more than ready to take the Exam. Here you go," she got up and handed me a black debit card with no name, only numbers on it.
She pointed to the card, "That card has fifteen million Jenny. It should be more than enough to pay for all your equipment, as well as travel expenses. Pairo here will escort you around the city," with that she waved a hand and walked out the penthouse without even a look back.
I was incredibly confused about what was going on. That's it?
I looked at the card and did the quick math in my head. About a hundred thousand US dollars were on this thing.
Yeah, this would be more than enough.
I turned away from the card to find Claudette of all people staring at the thing like a dog looking at a piece of meat. I gave her an annoyed look and put the card into my pocket.
"I'm starting to realize all of you are crazy. Why is you're saner brother taking me out to shop instead of you two? Oh, stupid question, it answered itself! Let's go Pairo." I said as I walked away from the two of them before this world's insanity infected me. Pairo lightly jogging to catch up to me.
I heard Claudette speak, "Well, that was rude."
"Yeah, yeah. The way you sniped me, so viciously and precise... You're just as much as a character as your older sister. Later," I said, waving a hand over my head in goodbye as I exited the condo. I was tired of all this craziness.
Time for some shopping.
The moment James and Pairo had left the room Claudette walked over to Mayer. Briannaisa stayed far away from the giant man, as though he were the devil himself.
Mayer was deep in thought and highly irritated. In all the time she knew him, the blonde Tao Long had never seen him like this.
"Mayer?" she said gently.
It was enough to break the stoic man out of his contemplation and stare at the young woman. His eyes were wide with annoyance, his jaw clenched tightly. The muscles on his face doing their best to tear his skin apart from jaw strength alone.
"Apologies Claudette. I am... still figuring out things regarding James' training last week," he said, tiredly.
Claudette nodded as she rubbed her neck. She understood perfectly well how strange the last week had been, "Yeah, I don't think anyone expected all that to happen. But it all ended up ok. That's what's most important, right?"
"That is not what I have issues understanding..." the most powerful man she knew said helplessly.
"What's wrong, Mayer?" Claudette asked with concern.
He sighed, as though beaten, "He said he trained with one of my old masters, a man named Quixote Panza."
Claudette tilted her head, then smiled, "Oh, so that's how he became polished in a week!? Isn't that a good thing?"
Mayer turned away from the young woman and closed his eyes. He felt like he did not know the world anymore. He knew many things about Nen, more than most people on the planet. Even the category that this would fall under did not completely answer everything. Yet it had to, or else all his beliefs he had built up for the last sixty-seven years would no longer make sense.
With one last fragile sigh, he spoke to the young woman, feeling far less the 'wise mentor' and more 'clueless child',
"It is not possible. He could not have trained with my old master. Quixote Panza died over ten years ago. I buried him myself."
Hey all, hope you're doing well! And I hope things keep going well for you.
Skip if you want to get to the next chapter. Mire characters you know from the series, so shoo, shoo; hahaha. But if you're interest in knowing a little more about the OC characters keep reading.
Before that, thank you for all the reviews and people who have favorited and followed me stories and me. I apperciate them immensely. Welcome to the Cosmic Rondo. Today is 3/1/2020. So you guys get another two chapters today. This was temporary since my muse had me at gunpoint, forcing me to write. I'll go back to one a week until further notice (that is, I just show up and pop two more in ya' face. Bang, bang.)
A reviewer asked if I had any character references. That is fair, since James is an unreliable narrator and suffered at the hands of his mother. He kinda has low level prosopagnosia. It takes him time to notice people other than the barest major things that sticks out to him. In anime speak, he's like Shin Seijuro from Eyeshield 21, except not as extreme. So it takes him time to really digest a person's appearance. But that's why he's good a tell people's intentions... for the most part.
So, no further ado, here are how all the the OC's look like. This goes by order of chronlogy
James: Before he looked he was blessed by Zhulong he looked like Manabu Yukimitsu with his hair combed down. After being blessed he looks like a less handsome Clint Eastwood, in his youth. He doesn't know how intimidating he looks because he it's hard to change your habits after 28 years, and still thinks he looks like Manabu subconsciously: inoffensive, meek, and baby-faced. While James is oblivious to the fact his face is now perpetually scowling and Clint-squinting, he isn't hesitation to throw his new weight and strength around. You don't get you're ass kicked for three months and not learn to stand your ground.
Zhulong: Zhulong...Zhulong looks however you want her to look. Be it vague Asian woman, or vague Caucasian, or whatever. She has no fixed form. Hell, she's barely holding on to the one she has now...
Evira Tao Long: Like Greta Garbo's face, with Katherine Hepburn's style and swag. As well as an triangle as hell hair. Seriously, google 80's triangle hair. It'll be the first image you find. That's her hair. I'm not joking.
Mayer Domo: Eugen Sandow's head fit on to All Might's body, but some how even more jacked. That's why James is going 'wtf' all the time. His name is a joke, both in-verse and out verse. I'll tell you guys eventually.
Claudette Tao Long: I haven't found anyone that looks like her. In all honesty, she can be any blonde girl you want in you're head. She has wavy blonde hair, 5'3 with a cherubic face and a soft smile. She looks vaguely european and has the dimensions of a My Hero Academia female...now that I write this, maybe an older Melissa Shields from My Hero Acedmia: Two Heroes with wavy hair?
Briannaisa Tao Long: This sounds funny and a cop out, but she looks exactly Menchi, except without turquoise hair and without the hair style that looks like a ships steering wheel. She Bri could look like the 1999 version of Menchi, but with darker brown hair. James will comment on the resemblance. It will be funny.
Zelle Sofi: She looks like Gillian Jacobs, blonde hair and all. If you're thinking Britta, no. I'm sure you are, but no.
Clyde / Kalvin Domo: Like Eugene Sandow without the mustaches and somehow even more jacked. Their name are also a joke. Their's are a little harder to guess since it's not as obvious. Or even more obvious, depends on how you think.
Flole: Like Ruby Rose, er, not Ruby rose from RWBY. The actress Ruby Rose, but shorter and not duck facing and squinting all the time: (・ε・)
Quixote Panza: A far more serious and tragic looking Old Man McGucket from Gravity Falls, but with furs all over him. With Yosemite Sam's voice and attitude.
When we the stories gets to the other OC characters I'll do the same.
Thank you for reading!
Until next time dear readers!
