a/n: I know it's a shorter chapter than before, but I'm sure chapters will lengthen in time.
Nina's heart sank to the floor as we stepped back. Suddenly, it felt wrong to touch Fabian. It was like he wasn't hers to hold, and he wasn't. She had broken up with him. She had a good reason, and she still loved him deeply, but he wasn't hers anymore.
"Oh, that's… good." She swallowed, not allowing herself to cry.
"It didn't go anywhere." Fabian spoke, turning back to look at Nina. His hand reached back out to her. That pull was still there, that need to be close to each other. "Nina, would you like to get lunch?" He asked.
Nina nodded. "I'll see you back in our room later, Mara." She offered, not wanting to let on that she was upset. Mara had kept that from her earlier. It was almost as though she was keeping more from Nina than she let on.
"I was really surprised to see you." Nina admitted, taking the hand that was offered to her. It felt natural to hold it. If she closed her eyes she could pretend that they were walking from Anubis house to school, like they had never been separated.
"Not as surprised as I was to see you." Fabian joked, before he squeezed her hand. That blush crept across his cheeks, the one she had loved to see just two years before. It rivaled his concentrating frown for her favorite facial expression of his. Her hand squeezed his back, refusing to let go as they entered the dining hall.
"I'm happy that you're here." Nina felt her own blush appearing on her cheeks. The vulnerability she hadn't allowed herself to feel since she left England a year ago resurfaced.
Fabian let go of Nina's hand. Her heart dropped again, but she knew that this was only temporary. He grabbed a plate, and she followed suit. The food didn't look appetizing, but at least it was something she could pretend to concentrate on if she had to.
Sitting down across from her first love, Nina had to ask. "Did you have feelings for Mara?" She swallowed, playing with her plate of noodles. She couldn't remember Fabian and Mara ever talking during their time at school, and she wondered how that could have happened.
"Yes? No?" Fabian spoke. The uncertainty in his voice did not make Nina feel any better. "I was still missing you. Jerome had broken up with her for Joy. I think we both just… felt lonely?"
Nina nodded, understanding how that felt. She had dated an old friend during her senior year. Nothing had ever really happened with them. They were friends who kissed sometimes, or that's how she saw it.
"I was seeing someone last year. Just for a few months. Honestly, he was nothing compared to you." The words flowed from Nina's lips before she had a chance to stop herself. It was the truth. Jason was nothing to her in the grand scheme of things.
"I never stopped loving you." Once the floodgates had opened, there was no stopping Nina. She glanced up at Fabian, her eyes locking on him. " I regretted sending that letter with Eddie. I shouldn't have ended things at all, but especially not that way. Every time you called or texted, I almost answered. I almost sent Eddie a message telling him to burn the letter, to forget that I had even sent it. I could have dealt with the long distance, but I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hold you back. I couldn't help but think you deserved better, because you did."
Nina watched Fabian's face. He looked so shocked, so hurt. She had wanted to call him every single day and tell him that, but could he ever have forgiven her? She still had yet to forgive herself.
"You broke my heart, Nina." The words caused her heart to break. She deserved it. "You could have called me. We could have talked it through. I would have done long distance for you." His hands reached out and grabbed hers once more. The golden haired woman felt at home by his touch.
"I forgive you." Those three words weren't the exact ones Nina wanted to hear, but they brought a smile to her face. "I still love you too."
