Welcome to a new Fanfiction. Hopefully you enjoy it, it'll…be interesting, and I will warn that Marinette will be going through…some phases of rebellion in this one, so she may seem OOC a little for some of it, but *shrugs* here we are! Enjoy.
Chapter One: Love Squares Cause Damage
Marinette stared. Something coalescing deep in her stomach hadn't stopped churning since Chat slid through the skylight, and she couldn't bring herself to put a definitive name to the feeling. You know what it is.
Of course, she wasn't a child anymore. She knew exactly why there was heat pooling into the lowest pit of her stomach. She just didn't want to name it because the feeling would become that much more tangible. It would give it power.
Her partner had filled out a lot over the years sliding by on the patient hands of time, and it was really unfair. She hated how her heart fluttered when he was nearby, both as Mari, and as Ladybug, now, and she hated how much she wanted to close the distance between them. She just wanted to feel their forms pressed together and his lips on hers…and her body.
The bluenette gave her head a few rigorous shakes to dislodge the images, and the feline's ears twitched, his emerald orbs shifting to regard her. "You okay, Princess?"
"I've just got a lot on my plate for school," the seventeen year old girl squeaked with immediate desperation.
His prosthetics flattened a little into his golden hair from the shrill level of her voice, and his eyes widened, but he gradually chuckled. "Oookay." He sauntered towards her chaise, hopping up with deft ease, standing for several prolonged moments, seemingly lost in thoughts of his own.
"Chat! Boots!"
The boy let his head fall sideways as he stared at her, but he slid off the piece of furniture instead. "You seem tense today. Is there anything on your mind?"
Thoughts of him pressing her down to the chaise, and feeling just how hard his muscles were beneath his leather dominated her mind, and her cheeks felt hot. "NO!" She instinctively pressed her thighs together, tight, as more than her face grew warm.
This time he winced, blinking, and his tail swished anxiously behind him. "Well," he commented, sounding unsure as he turned away. "I guess I should probably go then. I just wanted to let you know I won't make our hangout session tomorrow," he offered calmly.
Something in her chest crumbled as the disappointment spread like an infectious wound, and she swallowed. "Oh? Why not?"
"Plans came up in my civilian life," he said in a low voice, and she scooted closer to hear him. "I didn't want to ghost on you, and then you be mad at me," he admitted, turning.
"O-Oh, yeah, that happens," she breathed, hugging herself, staring at the floor. He was allowed to have a life, wasn't he? Their standing Tuesday plans weren't life or death, but she started to look forward to them more than she cared to admit.
Chat Noir came every Tuesday for the last two years just to gossip, share his battle tales, which she knew, were somewhat embellished, but made her laugh anyway. They snacked and ate food, and sometimes watched movies. They did anything and everything good friends might on Tuesday evenings, just the two of them, and now, for the first time, he was cancelling.
It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but the wound in her chest fractured more as she pulled in a loud breath in the gathering silence.
"Th-That's cool," she said firmly, turning away, gripping herself tighter for fear that her body would fall to pieces. Why? Lusting after her partner seemed almost natural. Half of Paris…more than half of Paris knew the guy was irresistible, so what was this feeling?
"M-Mari?" His tone was soft, and his claws touched her bare shoulder, sending electricity through her arm.
She jerked forward, away from him, shaking her head violently. "I said it's fine!" Her voice was shaking, and her stomach was in a free fall. What was this feeling? "Y-You should go, Chat," she whimpered as the first tear popped free, and she squeezed her aching eyes against it.
"I think," he croaked, sounding distant. "It's time you tell that boy how you feel," he said carefully, stilling her entire form. The sheer pain in his words had her turning, but the proclamation had come from nowhere. Why? Why would he say that?
"Wha—" Chat was gone. She slid to her knees, letting the first sob escape, unbridled, and the splintering pieces in her torso exploded into microscopic shards, piercing her insides.
"Marinette," Tikki whispered softly, and the bluenette ushered in a haggard breath, releasing it into another terrifying sob.
"Th-This is unfair!"
"You…you've fallen in love with Chat?"
"N-no!" Her body trembled, and she shook her head so hard she made herself dizzy, but that didn't change how stale the word was on her swollen tongue. Oh, God. She…was falling in love with her partner. It had been slow, sneaking up on her better than any enemy ever could, and penetrated her very soul. "G-God," she whispered, curling up on the floor. "I l-love Chat."
Tikki sighed, floating down to nestle against her tear stained cheek. "You could tell him," she said soothingly. "He doesn't seem to understand why you're acting the way you are," the Kwami pointed out.
"I s-still love Adrien!"
"Of course you do," the crimson ancient said firmly.
"I'm a horrible person," she whispered, covering her face, crying.
"You're far from horrible. You're young, and sometimes the heart knows better than the mind," she said softly.
"I c-can't…I don't know what you mean," she huffed, rolling so suddenly, the Kwami zoomed upwards to avoid falling off her face. "Just leave me alone!"
Maybe…Chat was right. It was time to tell Adrien how she felt. If she…if she…if she told the blonde, and he accepted her, then she could get over Chat, hopefully. What if he rejects me? Then….then maybe Ladybug could accept Chat…
It seemed a little…underhanded, but she swallowed, sobbing softly as her aching eyes slid closed. What choices did she have?
***POV Change***
Chat sat on the roof, heart clenching as her first strangled sound emptied into the air, and he spun his baton free. "Dammit," he muttered, vaulting off to the next flat surface he could claim under his boots.
His ring pulsed, warm, even through the leather. That was stupid, kitten.
He raised his brows, running over the roof to jump to the next building. "I d-don't see how," he said brusquely, pausing in his crouch to draw in an uneven breath of air. He could smell her getting excited staring at him, and he had…been responding in kind. Chat had been uneasy in Mari's presence for months. He'd…noticed her for months.
You told her to chase someone else!
He nodded, standing with languid grace, spinning his baton mindlessly for several lingering minutes. He figured, if the beautiful bluenette focused her attention on someone else, then maybe they could both stop reacting the way they were. He found her physically attractive, and on more than one occasion, had entertained the idea of pinning her under his body to feel her soft curves yielding to his strong hands and venturing mouth, but…
"It would be wrong because my heart belongs to Ladybug."
Idiot.
Chat frowned, vaulting to the next surface without hesitation, swallowing audibly. He had barely been able to restrain himself the moment her intoxicating scent infiltrated his sensitive nose, but he had managed, however, he had needed to remove himself from her room immediately, or he feared he would give in. There wasn't another woman in the world that could make him falter in his commitment to Ladybug. No woman other than Marinette…and it scared him.
"She'll be okay," he said firmly, but his heart pounded uncontrollably against his broad chest.
Plagg didn't respond this time, and his brows furrowed deeper. He wasn't sure if that was good or not, but he needed to put as much distance as he could manage between him and…her.
***POV Change***
"Today is the day," she muttered almost dejectedly to the caramel skinned woman.
"Girl, if you're not up to it, don't force yourself," Alya replied, circling her shoulder with a warm arm. "Four years down, what's another day to wait?"
The bluenette laughed, but the sound was uncharacteristically bitter. "I j-just decided to get it over and done with," she admitted. It was half true, anyway. If she didn't do it now, when would she do it? Clearly, Adrien wasn't saying anything to her, and Mari needed to find the line to draw. She needed to sort her feelings out.
The journalist sighed, but gripped both her shoulders tight, forcing the secret heroine to meet her eyes. "You look distraught, did something happen?"
Marinette stared into her best friend's compassionate eyes, and her lower lip began to wobble. "I-I," she sniffled, unwilling to have a complete breakdown at school. "I j-just realized I might be…developing feelings for someone else. So, it's now or never. If he says no, I can move on, yeah? Does that sound stupid?"
Alya offered a miniscule smile, but pulled her close, her embrace tight, unyielding, her slender fingers tracing small circles over the woman's back. "Not stupid at all to finally have clarification," she whispered. "Just, remember, if he says no, that I'm here, okay?"
Mari let out a loud quaking breath, but nodded. "Y-yeah," she whispered. "I'll keep that in mind."
***Later that morning***
The warmth of nausea plagued her entire torso while butterflies did acrobatics in the pit of her gut as she stared down at the nonchalant blonde. His eyes continued to stray towards the large windows on the right side of the room, but Nino relentlessly dragged him back to reality.
Lila leaned over the table, tapping him on the shoulder with her pencil, whispering something so low Marinette couldn't hear, but his face flushed a bright shade of crimson before he shook his head. What was that about? The bell rang.
"Now or never," Alya muttered, and the bluenette groaned, but the writer wasn't wrong.
She opened her mouth to call his name, but Nino was already ushering him swiftly towards the exit in a swell of students, and the panic set in. How was she supposed to stop them when her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth, and her mind was faltering?
"Adrien! Nino!" Alya's confident voice hollered, drawing them back a moment, both men moving to stare at the duo, and Mari's heart stammered in her undulating chest before picking a pace that bordered on exploding. "Hey, uh, could you walk with me, babe?" The Ladyblogger sashayed down the steps, yanking the frozen woman with her. "Mari wants to have a word with Adrien."
The DJ's eyes widened before he slid his fingers over the rim of his hat. "O-Oh! Of course! Hey, dude, I'll catch you up later?"
The blonde frowned a little, but nodded before a smile found his face. "Of course," he said smoothly. "Text me if I don't see you," he offered, fist bumping his best friend before the pair retreated. "Mari?" His voice was curious now that they were alone, echoing more than it should have. Then again, it might have just been in her head.
"I, j-just wanted to say," she screeched, making him take an involuntary step backwards, and they both cringed.
"Whoa," he laughed softly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Take a deep breath, Mari. It's okay, it's just me. Why are you so worked up?"
The heat of his digits seared through her shirt, and her body shuddered, making him recoil, and she covered her face, the first wave of tears forming in her embarrassment. Just say it! Do it!
"A f-friend told me last n-night that I should probably tell you h-how I feel," she wheezed, turning away, because she needed to…not feel the pressure bearing down on her entire body, crushing her. "I th-think he might have been right. I've l-liked you for a long time," she whispered, barely able to push the words out. "M-more than just a friend," she added in a rush.
Silence. There was nothing but silence, and her soul came to a complete halt, her blood turning to ice as she turned to face him. She wondered if maybe, he'd run away during her confession, but no, he was standing there, stark still, with the strangest look on his face. It looked…like agony? Horrified? Pain?
"N-No," he choked out.
Her heart started again, but it was breaking into barely identifiable pieces. "E-Excuse me?"
"Y-You don't like me, tell me you're kidding," he whispered hoarsely, his emerald orbs too wide for his face.
Marinette hugged herself, tossing her face towards the floor as the first real tendril of pain slashed through her torso, and it was hard to breathe around it. "S-Sorry if that's disgusting," she spat, already moving. "I d-didn't mean to…t-taint you with my feelings," she sobbed, getting defensive as his horrification and disbelief stabbed through every barrier of her minimal self confidence, leaving her raw inside.
"M-Marinette!"
She didn't stop. She didn't want to hear his excuses or his backtracking. Adrien…could never love someone as simple or plain as her. At least now…she knew…
***POV Change***
"Told you that you were an idiot," Plagg taunted, snuffling at a ripe piece of camembert as they hid inside the janitor's closet.
"I…I don't know what to do," he whimpered, sliding to his butt on the floor, covering his eyes with the heels of his palms. "I never thought in a million years it was me!"
"Hence, why, you're an idiot," the ancient snorted. "Her years of clumsy interaction and stuttering would have been clue enough for anyone else," he said scornfully. "Not my fault you're dense."
Adrien groaned, rubbing his orbs firmly, drawing his knees up. "I just ruined my friendship with her," he said softly, making the onyx creature growl.
"Really?" Plagg sighed. "Kid, you're an idiot of infinite proportions," he countered.
He dropped his thick digits to glower at the Kwami. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you're blind," he replied as quickly, stuffing the entire slice into his mouth.
"I see Marinette," he growled.
"Do you, now?" Plagg snorted around the chunk of dairy, choking.
The blonde laughed for a moment before the cat regained his bearings, ushering in a gravelly breath. "Maybe if you weren't mocking me while you were eating, you wouldn't suffocate," he teased.
The Kwami looked less than amused. "I'm not mocking you," he replied sternly. "I'm telling you the truth. You're a blind moron."
Adrien snarled, shoving to his feet, but an Akuma alert vibrated his phone, drawing his attention. "Guess we'll finish this discussion, later," he snapped.
"Yeah," he murmured. "We'll see how the fight goes," he mentioned worriedly.
Adrien quirked a brow, but thrust his fist out. "Claws out!"
***POV Change***
She released the disinfected butterfly shakily, not even bothering to murmur her signature farewell as it fluttered into the sky. She watched, through aching orbs as it floated away, trying to draw in a deep breath, but never fully succeeding.
"You okay, m'lady?"
His voice was soft, hesitant, but her entire body came to a rigid petrifaction under his words. Was she okay? No, she was far from okay. As it was, defeating the Akumatized victim this go around had taken far longer than it should have, and her side was bleeding. On top of that, she knew Chat was suffering from injuries of his own, even if he didn't care to voice them.
"I'm fine," she finally bit out, turning away, gripping at the tear in her armor, staring off into the darkening Parisian sky. "I won't keep you, I'm sure you have plans tonight," she muttered, recalling his cancellation the night before.
"I don't have anything going on tonight," he said gradually.
That. That was the nail in her emotional coffin as she turned to face her partner. His handsome face was cast into sincere worry, but…it was for her, Ladybug. He'd never care about Marinette. He'd lied to Marinette. He would never lie to his leader, his love…his bugaboo.
She laughed, and the sound was short, abrupt, and harsh, making him flinch. "G-Good to know, Chaton," she spat bitterly, spinning her yo-yo. "I'll do my Ladybugs, but I need to…get away first," she insisted.
He threw his hand out to stop her, but she was already moving. She heard him calling her name on the wind, but she never stopped as the entirety of her body ached, fracturing into throbbing, excruciating pieces she couldn't even begin to discern.
***POV Change***
"L-Ladybug!" He watched her go, more quickly than she'd ever moved, and he frowned. "Wh-What did I do?"
You made a mess.
"Didn't ask you," he muttered, dropping to his butt on the roof, listening to his ring beep rapidly.
He'd told her he didn't have anything going on tonight, which was true, and part of him felt guilty saying it aloud. He'd told Marinette otherwise because he wasn't sure he could handle being alone with her without…giving in to his increasingly intense carnal desires. He needed a small reprieve. It had been a small necessary lie in his mind, but it still gnawed heavily in his chest.
His transformation disappeared, giving way to the exhausted Kwami, but he was already offering a slice of camembert.
"I do like you," he said grumpily, snatching the food greedily.
Adrien sighed, falling backwards to lie out over the flat surface. "What did I do, seriously, Plagg?"
"I told you already! You made a mess. I can't say anything other than that!"
"You can't, or won't?" He covered his face, shaking his head as his chest tightened.
"Can't, literally, or I'll start puking up pretty little bubbles," he countered. When the blonde dared to give a skeptical glance, the onyx being rolled his eyes. "Ladybug's real name is M—eh!" Green bubbles erupted from the Kwami's mouth, and he hacked, making the model shoot up, surprised.
"Geez! You were serious!"
"Yeah," he snorted, hovering over to meet his owner's cheek, grumbling. "It gets a bit annoying, especially at times like this. I can't tell you, kitten. As much as I'd like to. Life would be easier if I could."
Adrien sighed, scratching the Kwami's ear, delighting in the soft purrs before he shook his head. "Maybe I should check on Marinette…"
The being stilled, groaning. "Yeah…that's a fantastic idea," he replied sarcastically. "You encourage her to express her feelings for…you…then reject her. I'm sure she's great."
The blonde sighed. "Claws out," he muttered dejectedly, not waiting for anymore scornful remarks before he made his way to the bakery. However…for the first time in three years…the skylight was locked, and Marinette didn't answer his knocking. His soul hurt a little.
