Chapter Fourteen
So far Falynn had not been able to change Kylo's mind on joining him in his travels. Bax had kept his word, the maintenance crew giving constant updates of the command shuttle, and the ship was close if not already, ready for travel. Falynn hadn't gone back to Bax in fear of how Kylo would react, so asked Henne if she could check on the young mechanic. Her handmaiden had always come back and reassured Falynn that was well, unharmed, and focusing on getting the command shuttle ready.
She was relieved that Kylo had left Bax alone, and that the mechanic was doing well. She wished that she could say the same for herself. Kylo had not forgotten that he wanted to train her and had woken her up for the last few days bringing her to the large storage chamber and continued the same brutal training. Each day the objects that he flew at her grew bigger, his movements towards her became more quick, and she left with more bruises. She had kept the routine of bathing afterwards in their private fresher, pulling on some comfortable cloths, and falling onto their bed asleep. By the fourth day she had to sit in the fresher as the water poured down on her, and crumpled over as she barely made it to their bed.
The flirtation and quick witted jokes from their first day of training wasn't brought in with the others. Kylo had remained serious and strict, and confident. Any snappy retort she had thrown at him for his demands he had completely ignored. The only way Falynn knew he had heard them was when he made the next move much harder than the last. She wasn't sure if he was trying to punish her, or make her stronger.
Perhaps both.
She had not made her way to the training deck either, or interacted much with the Stormtroopers. She felt too exhausted. She was happy when Henne had offered her some literature that was logged onto a datapad. Falynn had taken residence during the day in more quiet corridors, or Henne's room where she knew she could enjoy the readings undisturbed. Those small moments were blessings to her. Even Henne had left her mistress alone. Falynn did not want to think about what possibly laid a few days of head of them. She dreaded the thought of going back onto the command shuttle, and having to face another possibly deadly obstacle. Even more she feared what they would find on Dantooine. She had been able to sleep next to Kylo those nights leading up to it.
Remarkably he slept soundly every night, as Falynn tossed and turned next to him until she finally decided to get out of the bed and take a long walk around the ship before returning. Whenever Falynn did return to her room she would lay right back down next to Kylo and glare at him. Annoyed that unlike her he was blissfully sleeping, and for the fact that he was the source of her lack of sleep.
She was now on her way to the command deck where she had been called to, Henne swiftly following behind with her head bowed to give the impression of her role. A loyal handmaiden instead of the girlish friend that she was becoming to Falynn.
Kylo had called for her, for reasons she did not know, guessing that it probably had something to do with Dantooine. The command deck was busy with several officials and Stormtroopers monitoring the screens and talking actively with one another, Kylo stationed at the front with his hands clasped behind his back...and no helmet. He still had yet to fix the helmet he had smashed against the wall. Probably didn't have the time to really care too much about it, as they prepared to go to Dantooine.
"Oh," was all Falynn heard from behind her.
She remembered that Henne had not yet seen Kylo, and automatically knew who he was as he heard their footsteps and turned his head. Falynn gave her husband a small smile of recognition, he replied with a bow of his head. Forever the constant moody figure, her spouse was. Could barely even gift her with a smirk, or raise of the eyebrows. Wrapping her dark gray robes around herself, as her hair fell loosely to the side Falynn took the few steps up towards Kylo. She had been curled up in their own bed, not that long ago reading. When she had gotten the call, she hadn't been too pleased as she had been highly engrossed in her literature. She hadn't bothered to look regal, and frankly didn't care how humble she looked after the training he had given her earlier. Her muscles were still screaming as she folded her arms over chest. Kylo had given her a quick look over, and she swore she saw a twitch of his scarred eyebrow.
"Hello, husband," she greeted voice bland and unamused. "You called for me."
He nodded an eye going to Henne, before returning back to her. "I want you to come look at these navigational systems with me."
She didn't stop herself from saying, "you couldn't have done this later? Perhaps maybe even this morning?"
He knew what she meant, but only turned his back towards them. He was getting very good at this, ignoring her snarky remarks. With a sigh of resignation Falynn made her way beside Kylo and peered down at the screens. Her mind quickly retaliated with an instant headache at the lines, spheres, flashing lights, outlines of ships, and other technological garble that was mashed together in a confusing blur. Falynn even let out a small groan from the sight. How in the force's name was she supposed to read any of this when he still had yet to teach her how to properly read the maps? Perhaps it was another type of training he wanted to work on her with, how to read confusing navigation screens.
"What am I supposed to be looking at?" she flicked her eyebrows up.
"Dantooine," Kylo pointed to a green blinking green orb that flashed on the screen. "I wanted to show you how close my Star Destroyer has come to it. It won't take us long to fly the command shuttle there, in a days time. I wanted to reassure you since our last flight was an unpleasant experience. I knew it was worrying you."
"In...in a days time?" Falynn folded her arms looking out towards the large port window wondering if she could spot the planet. "Has it really been a week already?"
Nodding Kylo placed a hand on her shoulder. "It is going to be a smooth flight, Falynn, so there is no reason for you to be concerned. I have decided I will be the one flying the shuttle this time around. There will be little room for error."
As relieved as she was to hear that her husband would be the one navigating the command shuttle, that did not settle the queasiness in her stomach that began to form. She still wasn't ready to leave for Dantooine, she needed more time.
"Is that all?" she asked.
"For now," Kylo answered turning back to the screens. "I just wanted to ease your mind, since you had not seemed so keen on leaving the Star Destroyer the other night. I am assuming it is because of your dislike of flying."
Swallowing Falynn nodded. "Of course. Thank you for letting me know."
Falynn gave him a weak smile before turning and walking back down the steps, motioning Henne to follow behind her. Henne did a quick curtsy before following after her mistress whose face had gone pale.
"My lady?" Henne placed a gentle hand on Falynn's shoulder. "If it also helps, I will be flying with you and the Supreme Leader as well. There really is nothing for you to worry about."
Right, nothing to be concerned about when it came to the matters of flying.
A delay in their flight would be something she would welcome, if it delayed their landing on Dantooine. Anxiety bubbled within her, as she sorted through her thoughts on what could go wrong on the planet they were headed too. Running into Leia was her biggest concern. Falynn knew the general would hold no ill will against Falynn, she would automatically understand the pleading look in Falynn's eyes. The look Falynn would give to beg for forgiveness and understanding from Kylo's mother.
From her mother in law.
Falynn stopped in her steps.
She hadn't dwelt on the the thought before, but Leia was her mother-in-law.
Whether Kylo wanted any relations with her or not, she was still his blood mother, making her family to Falynn as well. Perhaps if Leia was on Dantooine wasn't a bad thing, Falynn could explain everything to her. Explain why she had agreed to marry Kylo and how she planned to use the marriage to her advantage. Knowing who General Organa was she probably already knew who her son was married to, and who she was. The General might be confused on why the girl she had taken care of had chosen to marry the Supreme Leader. If they found Leia this would give her the chance to explain. Falynn would possibly be able to form a plan with the General using Falynn as a tool to take down the First Order.
It was definitely worth a shot.
The anxiety that Falynn had felt quickly burned away, the feeling of being replaced with a burning strength and hope.
She had been looking at it in the wrong way.
Dantooine was an opportunity for her to use her position to make a difference.
There was nothing for her to fear.
Smiling Falynn turned to her handmaiden and brightly ordered. "Henne, come help me pack."
Sealing the bag shut Falynn let out a huff. She had decided to limit her packing and chose only simple traveling clothes to pack away, but it still took a bit of rearranging and cramming for it to fit in the case. She had offerened Henne some help in her own readiness for the trip but Henne respectfully declined, saying she didn't have much, leaving Falynn nothing else to do while she waited for Kylo to be done with his duties.
Falynn decided she would go ahead and take her traveling case to the shuttle.
There was no harm in that. She would drop it off and then leave, not allowing for another opportunity for the Supreme Leader to become upset again. Grabbing the traveling case Falynn made her way out of her and Kylo's room and headed straight for the hangar.
Reaching the hangar it was obvious where most of the work had been focused on without anyone having to say anything. Mechanics and troopers were gathered around the command shuttle tinkering with it. Falynn allowed a bit of the force out then quickly retaliated it back. The air around them was thick with tension, in fear that they would not get the shuttle ready in time. Bax was one of the workers outside of the shuttle. He stood on top of a ladder with thick goggles covering his eyes as he leaned in close with a wrench held in his hand.
A small sound came from Henne.
Perplexed by the noise Falynn turned her attention to her handmaiden than arched an eyebrow. Henne's eyes were distant appearing to be in a dream state. Falynn followed her gaze and realized it was in the direction of the mechanic upon the ladder.
"You and Bax have gotten to know each other well, haven't you?" Falynn smirked.
Henne's eyebrows lifted a rose color staining her cheeks than lowered her head. "Not really, my lady. We just chat a bit when I come in and check on him. I am not sure if he even knows my name."
"Really?" amused Falynn walked over to the ladder that Bax was standing on and lifted her head up as she called. "How are things going with my husband's shuttle, Bax?"
Bax jilted on the ladder and for a moment Falynn feared he would fall. Lifting his goggles the young man looked down from he was and down at Falynn who cast him a smile. She motioned with her head to behind her.
"We were just dropping off some travel supplies for tomorrow," Falynn explained and watched as Bax's blue eyes slowly moved from her to Henne. He gave Henne a slight nod, which she shyly returned. Falynn reached a bit of the force out between Henne and the mechanic, and quickly realized her handmaiden might be right.
He was pleased to see her, but not a bit of red stained his skin. The attachment for now was one sided. Falynn placed a gentle hand on Henne's shoulder as she continued. "We will be ready to fly tomorrow? His supremacy has been making commands for light travel tomorrow."
"The shuttle is pretty much done," Bax said as he slid down the ladder and landed in front of them. "The crew is just double checking for any glitches. A quick run through. I gave my report to give to our lord this morning." shoving his hands in his pockets Bax looked down, bits of dark brown falling onto his goggles. "Will my ladyship be flying with our leader?"
That was an interesting question.
Falynn nodded then hooked her arms through Henne's. "Henne, in her loyalties to me will be accompanying us as well."
"Oh," raising his eyebrows Bax nodded. "I assumed that was how it should be, in case my lady is in need of protection."
Protection indeed. Falynn was more than capable of looking out for herself, but she turned and smiled at Henne, knowing her handmaiden would have no issues taking the positions of a soldier.
"I feel most assured in Henne's company," Falynn loosed her arms from Henne and lightly pushed her forward. "Henne is responsible for my safety. That being said, Bax, I trust you can explain to her what exactly is working on my husband's shuttle so she can relay it to me."
Falynn stepped back giving an authoritative nod, before turning around with another smirk.
"V-very well," Falynn heard Henne, her normal upbeat voice now shy and soft.
Falynn continued to smile a soft giggle escaping her lips.
Her giggling abruptly stopped when she spotted Kylo leaning against the large entrance of the hangar. His eyes were narrowed and focused on his command shuttle, and possibly the mechanic who was now walking inside of it. Placing her hands behind her back Falynn approached her husband setting herself in his line of view and away from the command shuttle.
"Don't worry," she reassured him. "I just talked with Bax. He told me the shuttle is ready to go. They are just doing a quick run over to make sure everything is in place. It will be ready by tomorrow."
"You remembered his name," Kylo stated bitterly to which Falynn rolled her eyes.
"I didn't have a need to forget it," she turned her head back to the shuttle and smiled again. "I believe Bax has made another friend."
Kylo arched a dark brow turning his dark eyes to Falynn.
"I mainly came down to bring my packing case to the shuttle."
"You packed?" he scoffed. "Why did you feel the need to do that?"
"Because," Falynn raised her eyebrows in a matter of fact manner. "Don't most people pack for trips?"
"Everything we need will be on Dantooine. There was no reason for you to go out of your way and pack," Kylo shook his head while folding his arms. "Why didn't you just have Henne do all of that for you anyway?"
"Henne came with me," Falynn clarified crossing her arms across her chest. "She is now currently on the shuttle with Bax." She bit back another mischievous smile. "I told him to show her what has been done on the shuttle for any case emergencies."
"Why would you need to do that?" Kylo's face scrunched confused. "I am perfectly capable of doing that myself. Matter of face I prefer to."
Rolling her eyes again Falynn gave her husband a pat on the shoulders. "I believe Henne is much more pleasant company."
Kylo raised his eyebrows, and Falynn nodded glad he finally understood the situation.
"You are trying to pair them together?" Kylo asked in disbelief. "Henne is a lady of the First Order. She is technically your first in command, and has orders to be loyal only to you or to me. Why are you trying to set her up with some...romance?"
"Henne has proved herself to be more than just a handmaiden," Falynn replied then with a gentle tone turned back to the ship. "She deserves it. Even if it is only a fleeting moment she deserves it. She told me you know…what happened to her family and that you spared her life." Falynn turned back to Kylo tilting her head. "She is very grateful for what you have done for her."
Grumbling something under his breath Kylo nodded then reached out and grabbed Falynn's hand, "come. Let us get some more training in, before tomorrow. I want you to be prepared in case anything happens."
Falynn did not pull back from him as the two of them left the hangar.
As they began their way to their usual training spot, Falynn couldn't help but feel a bit envious towards her friend. Henne was now on the command shuttle hopefully flirting with the handsome mechanic, while Falynn was being dragged down the Star Destroyer to have her husband brutally train her again.
An ache began to form in her chest, as she stared at Kylo's back.
She would just have to ask Henne how it went, and hoped she wasn't too exhausted by that point to listen.
Laying flat on her back, Falynn took in deep heavy breaths as she stared up at the dim ceiling of the storage chamber. Kylo had not been as hard on her as he was earlier, but her body was so broken down from not fully being fully recovered from that morning. Sweat clung to every part of her. Hair clung to the back of her neck, and the soft pants and shirt she had underneath her robes were plastered against her hot skin. She had certainly not been dressed for an intense training and maybe that was why Kylo had been a bit more easy with her. It wasn't a planned training, but a more spontaneous decision.
Least Falynn knew that she would be able to sleep well before their trip. Maybe she would even be able to sleep while they flew. She silently scolded herself for the second thought, knowing that was not a possibility. She would probably be too stressed to relax enough to sleep. At least she had one more night to sleep in the bed she was becoming familiar with.
Kylo had given her a staff this time, as they trained, which had a longer range. The staff movements was the closest they had to her lightsaber, and she found herself missing it dearly. The thought of her lightsaber had her wondering how Naboo was faring now that the two of them had left. She hadn't heard any news on the Queen, and could only pray that she was making a smooth recovery after Kylo had broken her. Quickly shutting down the thought Falynn lifted a leg and let out a gasp. Her spine stretched as her back muscles pulled. She slowly lifted the other leg, and while pressing them together wrapped her arms around them, while slowly lifting her back up.
"What are you doing?" Kylo queried from across the room.
"What does it look like?" Falynn hissed out as she flexed her legs. "I am stretching. If I don't there won't be any possible way that I will be able to move tomorrow."
"Are you that unpracticed?"
Falynn shot her body up, legs still pressed together while glaring at Kylo. "Excuse me for not being the great Supreme Leader. Trained in the ways of the force and military tactics and combat."
With a sigh Kylo walked across the room than knelt in front of her. "Lay back down."
"I beg your pardon."
"I can help you stretch," Kylo responded pressing his lips together in a tight line. "Now lay on your back. I know a few stretches that might be able to help."
Falynn stared at Kylo for a moment, but did as she was told, and laid back down.
"Now lay your legs down, and lay them out flat," he softly instructed.
Wincing Falynn slowly moved her legs down, then caught her breath as Kylo slowly removed one of her shoes. Heat rose to her cheeks as the callused pad of Kylo's thumb pressed into the bottom of her foot. She quickly retaliated her foot back.
"Did that hurt?" Kylo looked up his dark brows lifting.
"N-no," Falynn sheepishly answered glad she was looking up at the ceiling and not at Kylo. "We...I am not the cleanest person right now. I don't know if I am comfortable with you touching my fe-," she let out a gasp as Kylo roughly grabbed onto her foot pushing his thumb into the sole of it.
"Falynn," Kylo came out in an exasperated annoyed sigh. "I don't care. I have seen and done much worse than touching someone's sweaty feet. Now just lay there and try to relax for me."
Falynn closed her mouth and did as she was told, trying not to linger too long on Kylo's words as he pushed and rubbed at her feet. She let out another gasp as Kylo slowly bent her leg up, while massaging the heel of her foot. Falynn pressed her lips together suppressing a groan as the release of pain released itself from beneath her skin. Kylo continued to press and push on her feet with his rough fingertips as he moved her leg in slow motion back and forth. Gently setting the leg down Kylo began to work on Falynn's other leg and foot. Kylo's thumb pushed hard and hit a knot that had been tight in the middle of her foot. Falynn was unable to suppress the groan of relief that passed between her lips.
Kylo's fingers froze on her foot as he asked. "Are you alright?"
Falynn nodded. "Yes. It's just helping."
"You don't want me to stop?" his voice had suddenly dropped increasingly lower, causing Falynn's cheeks to burn again.
"No," Falynn answered her voice coming out huskily.
"Alright," another push of his thumb as he slowly extended her leg in.
Falynn watched as Kylo's body slowly moved up with her leg his black hair falling into his face. She had still sweated more than him, the training obviously more strenuous on her than it was on him, but as she watched her husband come more into her vision she could see he was also out of breath. Falynn's body suddenly jerked as Kylo pushed her leg into her chest, and he paused again his body now hovering over her own.
Falynn was panting now, from the pain and the release of tension as she stared up at her husband.
"Sorry," he apologized slowly lowering her leg back down, but kept himself there so he could peer down at her. "I know it is painful now, but your muscles will feel better in the morning." He slowly ran his thumb up the calf of her leg than stopped. "On Dantooine, I don't want you to leave my side. Is that understood."
Trying to keep her attention on his words instead of the fingers that were still pressed to her legs Falynn asked. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know how strong they are on Dantooine," he answered honestly his lips pressing together. "If they are strong in numbers or if there are few. I will be able to take them down, you however I can't say for sure. So make sure you stay by my side." He leaned in. "That is an order."
Falynn tucked her chin in, "you don't believe that I can take care of myself."
"You are the Empress of the First Order," Kylo reminded her moving himself back to sit on his knees. "It is my duty not just as your husband, but as the Supreme Leader to make sure you are safe. If anything were to happen to you, everything this marriage stands for would fall apart."
The words stung.
She didn't know why they stung, but they did.
Falynn resented herself for the feeling. Of course that is why he needed to keep her safe, why they were spending this time together. It wasn't affection, not even the kiss. It was all a game to play in the life of a diplomat. Marriage in this life, was never out of affection or out of love, but a statement. If Kylo let anything happen to Falynn he would possibly lose his voice, over the people in his power. If he had lost her, his own status in the First Order would decrease.
Falynn slowly moved rolling her legs to where she was on her knees and nodded.
Attempting a small smile Falynn answered, "I understand. Don't worry, Ren, I will not leave your side."
With an unfeminine grunt, Falynn used her hands to push herself up on her feet then brushed some of loose strands of hair out of her face. She rolled her neck letting out a few more kinks before going over and picking up the spear she had used. She was silent as she pulled the strap to the weapon over her shoulder, ignoring the slight pain of the weight of it on her sore shoulders. Another hot sonic shower, would do the trick. She had been spending so much time in there now trying to ease all of the kinks out of her body, she sometimes thought she might as well just sleep in the fresher.
"I am heading back," was all she said before disappearing into the corridor.
Kylo watched as Falynn quietly walked out of the storage chamber before getting on his own feet frowning. He felt like he had upset her somehow but wasn't exactly sure how. Pushing his black hair out of his face, Kylo bit down on his bottom lip for a second. He wasn't very good at this, he knew this much. The Supreme Leader felt that everything he had tried to do, just ended up back firing on him.
Perhaps Falynn did not want to be protected, felt that she didn't need that from him.
He knew well enough how stubborn she was, that her thoughts probably did lead to that.
However, Kylo had meant what he had said. He couldn't afford to lose her, and who knew how strong the Resistance had come, from the last time he had encountered them. Especially with his mother as their leader. Leia was no fool, and he was her son, she would know that eventually Kylo would catch up with them. The general had probably been preparing their next encounter after Kylo had left, right after he had faced his uncle.
They had to be prepared. In more ways than one.
Falynn staying by his side, was more than for her own protection. It was for himself as well. The last time where he had the opportunity to place a full attack on the Resistance, he had hesitated knowing his mother was on the ship. He hadn't been able to do it, even at the time when he knew he should have, to prove where his loyalties were.
He would not make that mistake again. Falynn would help remind him of that. She would cover that weakness for him, without even realizing it.
Kylo highly doubted that Leia was on Dantooine, his mother was probably somewhere floating between the planets in her own massive ship with other official leaders. Possibly even with Rey. The thought made his blood curdle than burn hot, knowing the two of them were now working together. One betrayal after the next.
He would not stand for it.
Kylo would not allow himself to have any more downfalls. Tracking down the Resistance ships is where they would start. He would take down their groups one by one, annihilating them, giving them no mercy. There was no room for that. Not anymore.
The last time he had shown such, it had blown back in his face.
It had briefly broken him.
He had felt anger than he had felt numb.
He wasn't sure when he had begun to feel again, after everything that had happened after he had killed Snoke. After he had lost his connection with Rey, and when he had finally come out of some twisted haze. He wasn't sure when he could once again feel his heart beating within inside of his chest. He didn't care to find out. He would just savor the feeling and allow it to make him a little bit stronger than he already was.
Rolling his arms back, and rolling his neck around until it popped Kylo realized that these trainings were starting to wear on him just a bit. On top of their plans, and his long hours just staring and analyzing with screens Kylo's muscles felt tense and stiff.
He also felt sweaty and unclean. He hadn't had much time to take care of himself lately, nor did he have the helmet to cover those flaws. Thankfully his soldiers, generals, and officials didn't pay much mind to it as they themselves were too engrossed in their work. He needed to bathe and prepare himself for tomorrow. Grabbing the staff not even bothering with the strap Kylo left the storage room, and headed back towards his and Falynn's room.
It was still an adjustment to Kylo for Falynn and him to share a room.
Even though he and his wife now shared a room it was nothing worth mentioning. The two of them hardly ever touched even when they slept right next to each other. There were times where he reached over and his arm accidentally brushed her arm or some of her soft hair, that was always down while she slept. When he realized what he was doing he quickly withdrew his touch from her, for fear of waking her up. She never did though.
It was one of his wife's many talents.
She could sleep through anything, and she slept deeply too. Least he assumed that with some of the loud snores that came out of her. He almost mentioned it one morning, letting her know that she had woken him up a few times with it, but refrained himself as she had already seemed grouchy. Another trait he had learned about Falynn. She hated being woken up, and it was a struggle almost every time to get her out of the bed to go training with him. She would kick, wrap the sheets tightly around her like some type of large bug, and even hold onto the bed post. She never succeeded though as Kylo always found a way to rip her from their mattress. To which she responded with a hateful glare, that Kylo only scoffed at.
His Empress did try to seem intimidating.
She had that effect on the troopers and his officials, but never on him.
Least not in that sense.
In his solitude Kylo's lips lifted into a soft smile.
Pressing the code to their room, Kylo was expecting to see Falynn asleep on their bed, but he didn't see her anywhere in the room. She must had gone off to see Henne. He knew that was where Falynn often went, whenever she was upset with him. He still had no idea what had possibly upset his wife. He grumbled at the headache that was slowly coming on, as he shed himself out of his shirt and headed inside of the fresher.
He stopped when he heard the hissing sound of the shower already in use.
He knew that he shouldn't, that the smarter choice would be to turn around, and wait in the room for her to be finished. This was her privacy, one he had not yet invaded or planned ever to. The sound of the shower was like a siren's lure though, knowing just what laid inside of it. Kylo's mind raced back to how she reacted to his touch, what she had temporarily done to him.
Making sure that his footsteps were silent, Kylo walked over to the entrance of the shower, and slowly peered around then stopped. The sonic shower only covered half of the body, and Kylo thanked the force that Falynn's back was turned to him. If she had been forward...he had might have fallen to his knees.
Water drizzled down her naked back as she ran her fingers through her wet copper hair.
Kylo swallowed as his body tensed then shattered.
He shouldn't be doing this.
All she needed to do was turn around to see him watching her. After that she would never forgive him, or even trust him again. She might even fight the matter further of her displeasure of going to Dantooine with him (he hadn't been able to figure that out either). He was about to turn around, until a sound made him stop and stay where he was.
Falynn had begun to sing.
Her voice echoed throughout the fresher and it's narrowed walls.
It was clear and heartbreakingly soft, a sound he knew that came from her home. A song no doubt that her mother had taught her. She had mentioned how she had watched plays, and been given singing lessons. Kylo folded his arms and leaned himself against the cool walls and allowed her voice to sooth the aches that had formed in his skull. Allowed it to ease any anxieties or worries he had been carrying in the last few weeks.
Kylo could almost picture it, as if her voice was vividly painting for him. He could see the young girl that grew up amongst those waterfalls, forests, and rich colors of orange, turquoise, and gold. He could see the smile that she wore, the happiness she once felt. It pierced something deep within him. Forging memories of his own childhood, where he used to curl up next to his mother while fiddling with his father's golden dice. Where she herself had sung softly to him lulling him off to sleep, only for the two of them to leave the next day. Kylo tried to reached for those happier moments with his family. Tried to focus on when his father's best friend Chewbaca had played with him, and tried teaching Kylo how to speak Wookie only for Hans to laugh hysterically. Tried to focus on when he had once gotten excited to see his Uncle Luke's face, rather than his blinding hatred for him. He couldn't though, Kylo was unable to remember anything other than the loneliness he had to constantly feel. He had let all of that go, he had moved forward, and now his only focus was on the woman whose voice echoed through every inch of him.
Kylo continued to listen to Falynn sing until she had stopped and turned the water off.
He didn't have a chance to leave or to hide himself away, as Falynn pulled down a towel that was on a high hook and wrapped it around herself, before she turned and spotted her husband.
He wanted her to say something.
Anything!
Instead she just stood still behind the half curtain looking at him in horror.
Kylo had no idea how to explain himself to her, perhaps he could tell her he hadn't been standing there for as long as he had. He doubted she would believe that though. Sucking in her lips Falynn pushed open the curtain to the sonic shower and walked out.
Kylo sucked in a breath when his eyes made contact with what was on her bareskin.
Both her legs and arms were covered in bruises. Some of them were purplish blue, others had already turned a dull brown. No wonder she appeared to be in pain earlier. Kylo hadn't realized his training had been so harsh. She hadn't complained, never even uttered a word on the bruises that were now covering her. Why hadn't she told him, that he had been too rough on her body? No wonder she had been wearing just heavy clothed night wear. He had thought it had been because she was feeling self-conscious, but that clearly wasn't the case now. She did little to adjust her towel, as it slipped revealing her upper cream colored thigh, that was also specked with bruises.
Why hadn't she had said anything? His training had been the way it was, to increase her strength in those moments she would eventually need to protect herself.
Not for him to be the one to cause harm to her!
They had trained for a week now, and not one word!
She hadn't asked him to stop, even told him to keep going when he had asked if she had been tired. Even though she had been irritable when he had woken her up, she still went with him every morning knowing how his training was. Knowing that she would probably end up with more bruising. She hadn't even asked for thicker training wear, that could have prevented further injuries. Seeing how some of them looked fresh, something inside of Kylo made a loud snap inside of his mind. Kylo took several large and quick steps over to Falynn before running a hand down her arm.
"What are these?" his voice came out hoarse. "These are from me, aren't they?"
Falynn's face had gone pale before she did a half smile with a scoff. "I have had worse."
"What do you mean?" he furrowed his brows.
Falynn's eyes widened for a moment, then shook her head. "Forget it. How long have you been standing there?"
Kylo ignored the question as his other hand brushed down the other arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Why didn't I tell you what?"
"About your bruises," he brushed a hand over her shoulders remembering the way he had grabbed onto her so roughly. He could have easily left bruises there too. "I would have fixed it."
"I didn't need you to fix it," she softly rebuked who sea colored clear and steady as they took focus on him. "I wanted you to train me," Falynn continued stepping out of his touch. "I didn't think the bruises would be that big of a deal."
"Then why did you try hiding them?" he pointed out roughly.
"I am not hiding them now," she shot back.
"Because I caught you unaware," Kylo took a step closer to her. "Why did you try hiding them if you didn't think they were a big deal?"
Falynn clutched onto the towel that hugged around her body, and placed her free hand to her stomach. She bit her bottom lip for a moment, before saying. "I didn't tell you...well I thought you were probably already aware."
"You thought I was aware that I was hurting you?" Kylo spat out rage trickling up prickling underneath his skin.
"I thought you were aware of how your technique of training was," Falynn remarked folding her arms, the bruises that covered them glinting underneath the fresher's ceiling light. "Ren, what was I supposed to think. I watched you kill an entire crew the other day. Was I supposed to think that you were to be any more gentle with me? I just guessed that was how you operated."
"I killed them because they put your life in danger!" he shouted into her face. "You are my wife, Falynn. I would never intentionally hurt you! Everything I do is in order to protect you! How in the hell have you not noticed that yet!"
Falynn's eyebrow flicked up, and he noticed the bit of color that raised to her cheeks. Shaking her head Falynn looked down, but Kylo wouldn't have it. He was tired of it all. Tired of Falynn turning a blind eye to his intentions, tired of this game the two of them were playing. Kylo roughly grabbed her face in between his hands and pressed his lips hard down onto her own. Falynn tried to push away, but Kylo did not let go of her, as he stepped closer to her, moving his fingers to dig themselves inside of her wet copper hair. Falynn let out a gasp, as Kylo's mouth pushed her mouth open with his own.
Why did he feel like this wasn't enough, that there needed to be more. Kylo's hands slowly slid his hands down her damp neck, down to her shoulders, then gently down her arms. Her skin felt hot beneath his fingertips, heated from the shower she had just been in.
Dangerously Kylo allowed his tongue to slip between their lips, and traced the outline of her soft mouth. He stiffened when Falynn didn't try to push but instead allowed her body to lean into his own.
Letting out a growl, Kylo moved his arm around Falynn's waist and pulled her closer to his bare chest. His mind had gone numb, numb to everything that was around him, as Falynn filled in every inch of him. From the smell of soap that clung to her wet hair, from the heat that radiated off of her body onto his own, and from the way she tasted.
She was something entirely different, as if she were some type of sweet fruit from some unknown planet. A secret that he didn't care to share with anyone. He wanted to go to their door, taking her with him and seal it to where no one could get in or out.
The thought shattered as Kylo pushed Falynn way, his breath coming out into hard pants.
Falynn's own breathing was heavy, her eyelids heavy. Looking down at her Kylo felt himself beginning to shake. Jerking his body away from her, Kylo yanked Falynn's silk robe off of the hook that was on the wall and tossed it at her.
"Go and get dressed," he weakly ordered. "I need to bathe. Go to sleep. We leave first thing in the morning."
"Ren…"
"Go!" he shouted then softened his voice again. "I want to bathe then I want to sleep. If you have a problem with that, than go to Henne's room."
Falynn went silent, as her shoulders slumped while while she hugged onto the robe while exciting the fresher into their room.
Kylo did not chase after her nor did he apologize.
He wasn't able to do it, he couldn't break through the darkness.
For a moment, he felt it, felt her. He wasn't able to go through with it, he had lost control. He couldn't afford to lose control. Kylo had not been lying when he said he wanted to protect her. He had not been lying, but that was all he could do was make sure no harm came to her. He would kill, he would make demands, and he would tear the galaxy apart, to keep the order he had been working so hard to obtain. He would not allow anything to cloud that vision.
Not even for Falynn.
When Kylo left the fresher Falynn was no longer in the room.
He did not go looking for her.
