It wasn't until the sun started setting that Mccree found Symmetra outside, sitting by herself on the walkway bridge just a few paces away from Winston's lab. The whole day, she had been following him around like a shy, tagalong sibling, but she seemed composed the entire time that he didn't worry too much about it. At least, he didn't until she had disappeared an hour or two ago. Sometimes, it was a little hard to know exactly she what she was thinking, but he liked to think of himself as a adaptable guy and could work with whatever she threw at him. He had the patience of a saint and the empathy of a friend.
"Hey, what are you doing up there? Kinda chilly out here, ain't it?" He called up to her, hands stuffed in his pockets. Despite it still being early in the evening, the brisk ocean spray always made Gibraltar a tad colder than it already was. He wondered if she was even used to cold temperatures or not. From what he knew, she was always stationed in places with hot climates.
Symmetra peered down at him, legs dangling over the edge. Her shoes were set neatly beside her, leaving her barefoot. "Oh, it's just you. You startled me," she responded coolly enough, but something didn't seem right. Her tone had always made her sound careful and serious, but she seemed a little distant, as if she was still lost in thought. It was hard to catch her off guard.
"Can I join you, Satya?"
For a moment, she didn't answer him right away, sitting up to consider it for a bit before looking down again. She knew he wouldn't rush her on it, but on the other hand, she didn't want to keep him waiting. "Yes."
Mccree nodded and headed up the stairs that led to where she sat. She listened to the clack of his boots on the metal steps as he neared and turned her head when she saw his figure in her peripheral vision. He greeted her with a small wave but otherwise said nothing else. She brought her attention back to the dark sky and sighed, not responding when he took his place next to her. Even when she felt him gently bump against her arm as he pulled off his serape to place on her shoulders, her gaze only flickered to him for a second. Not refusing it was enough to say that she appreciated the gesture.
They sat together in mutual silence, gazing out at the stars. The only sound was that of the infinite waves crashing up against the jagged rocks.
For another several minutes, she stayed quiet before posing a question to him. "Would you say that I am a bad person, Jesse?" As monotone as she sounded, there was another hint of sadness that reached her golden eyes. The second she heard herself say the words, she shook her head and clamped up. She involuntarily began to click her prosthetic fingers again to a rhythm only she could hear in her head. "That was quite an inappropriate thing to ask of you. Ignore that."
He blinked, a bit taken aback. Out of all the things she could have mentioned, this was definitely something he wouldn't have expected her to ask. "That's not really something I can ignore. Did someone say something to you?" He asked, his mechanical hand balling into a tight fist. If there was one thing Mccree hated it was people who dismissed anyone who was trying to make a change for themselves. Anyone who was hellbent on seeing others for their mistakes and not the strides they took to better themselves were scum to him. "Satya, you know you can tell me if someone's giving you a hard time. I'll set them straight, just give me the word."
"No, no one has said anything," Symmetra confessed, not wanting to point blame at anyone. She gently swung her legs in the air. For some reason, it reminded her of a nearly forgotten memory. When she was a small girl still living in Hyderabad, she had a small, hidden place she always went to when she was frustrated or overwhelmed. Though she wouldn't be able to remember where it was now, she knew there used to be a tree with an old wooden swing attached to it. She never knew where it came from or who put it there, but no one else but her knew about it, and that made it special to her. Countless times, she had drudged her way over and sat on the swing until her mind cleared up. Now that she thought of it, the day the swing had vanished was the day she had taken by Vishkar.
"On the contrary, it is what they are not saying is what I am upset about."
"What do you mean?" Mccree asked, relaxing his shoulders and loosening his grip. He seemed relieved to know that no one was actively harassing her behind his back. As much as he trusted his teammates, he would never tolerate them hurting her in any way.
Gently scratching at her cheek, she tried to think of a way to explain it to him. "Everyone here… they all expect me to assimilate and become a part of Overwatch, so they never question my being here. As far as they know, I'm just going through the steps to becoming a full fledged member, so they're polite enough to me, or at least most of them are. After all, is it not natural for a villain character to be redeemed and join the heroes?"
He tried not to laugh at the last comment, trying to think of what kind of shows or books Symmetra liked to read for her to come up a line like that. "Yeah, guess it makes sense, though I really wouldn't call you a villain. I know some people were a little uneasy before you came and thought joining Overwatch would be a conflict of interest for you. I knew you couldn't be all that bad though, and every time I learn something new about you, I keep provin' myself right all over again. Continue though."
The amount of faith he had in her made Symmetra feel pleased, and she scooted back so she could sit crisscrossed. How funny time worked, just two days ago, she felt nothing but distaste for him and anyone under the Overwatch name, but now, she was sitting here with him and confessing her innermost thoughts. Every time they were together, she was able to appreciate that he was able to understand her more or less. Sometimes, she felt like most people she had interacted with thus far in her life didn't quite get her, but opening up her protective shell just a crack was enough for him to be able to pick up her tempo and follow along. Were most people in the real world like this or was it just a gift of his, she wondered. It wouldn't be that hard of a transition if most people were like Mccree.
"It's just that… well, you are aware of my decision to turn down Overwatch, and while you have been rather supportive in my choice, something I am grateful for… I am not certain on how the others will take it…" Her voice trailed off as she wrapped her arms around herself. "All those smiles before… how will they look at me when they realize I am not going to be one of them? What will they think, no, what will they say? It's weighed so heavily on my mind for some time, so I came out here to reflect."
"Ahh… now I see what's been eating you up. Had a feeling it was something like that, but I didn't wanna force it outta you or nothin'." Mccree slouched forward to prop up up his head on bent arms. Tapping a finger on his other hand, he slowly asked, "Since you brought it up, were you planning on sitting out here and just deal with this all on your own?"
"Of course, I have always dealt with my inner thoughts on my own. Don't you?" She looked a little perplexed by the comment. She had never truly considered expressing her stress and fears to others before, not that there were many she could have talked to on a personal level. Her life was molded around her always having to keep everything cool and professional on the surface, stifling everything else that didn't matter to the company. After all, why should she talk about frivolous matters when there was work to be done?
"I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I haven't before," he started, "and maybe I still keep a thing or two under the wraps, but if there's one thing I've learned over time is that keeping it all bottled up ain't gonna help you in the long run. It just makes it worse, trust me. Feels a lot better when you can just, y'know, chat it out with someone."
She thought about it for a moment. There was no denying that every so often, she had been indulging him with more detail than she had intended. When it really came down to it, he was right; talking to him did soothe her worries or at least, took her mind off of them. Things would just slip before she could even think over her words carefully, and it felt kind of good for a change. However, it just wasn't fair to continuously rely on and burden him, especially not with her musings. He had done enough for her, and it would be so insensitive if she kept taking so much from him.
"I do not want to selfishly absorb your time and energy."
"Selfish?" Dear lord, this woman didn't even know the definition of the word. He stopped himself from asking her what was the last thing she had done for herself. That was a discussion for a different time. "Nah, there ain't nothing selfish about it. It's just a part of what friends do, you share the great things and the shit things together. Don't think you need to hide it all, you got me if you need me. Or anyone else you wanna talk to," he quickly added the latter part, not wanting her to think he was out to monopolize her. "But just know that I don't think you're a bad person. You were just in a bad place, but now you're overcoming all that. Ain't that proof enough?"
"You seem so sure of it…" A laugh escaped her lips before she could even think to keep it to herself, though even she could sense the lack of mirth to it.
"That's because I am sure of it. You're a good kid, and you deserve every bit of happiness and a peace of mind. My word might not mean much, but anyone that says otherwise needs a good knock in the teeth. I'll even do it myself!" He held up his fists and punched an invisible opponent.
"I do not believe in violence if it can be avoided."
"Then I'll give them a good, long stare."
She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them close. Shyly, she leaned her face against the tops of her thighs to hide her mouth. "Jesse?" She asked, voice muffled and a little softer than before.
He rubbed his arms as a small gust of the cold air ran through him. "Yeah?"
She didn't fail to see him shiver and realized that he was putting her needs above him. As much as she didn't like physical touch, she also didn't like that he was constantly the one doing things for her. Perhaps, she could learn to meet him halfway on things. "If it is all right with you, perhaps I could also lend you an ear if you need it? I am quite aware that I am not the best with such matters, but I could do my best to attend to your needs for someone to listen. At least, if you want me to, I do not want to be imprudent and-"
"Yeah, I'd like that." His smile changed to a look of surprise when he saw her move closer so she could put one end of the serape around his shoulders. Their arms were pressed together more now, and her head was almost leaning against him. She didn't say a word, but the bashful look on her face made it clear that she had no idea what she was doing. How could anyone think she was a bad person?
"You know, it'd be warmer if the two of us went inside," he said with a grin.
"… Actually, another reason I am outside is that I am avoiding having to converse to Winston about this. I told myself I would settle everything tonight and be done with it, but… I suppose the saying, 'easier said than done,' is applicable here. With that being said, would it be alright… if we were to stay out here for a moment longer? I promise that I will not keep you here too long," She sheepishly asked.
The request was innocent enough, and she obviously had no ulterior motives, but it was enough to make him feel lighthearted. While she was far from a damsel in distress, he had a growing desire to know more about her and protect her from harm. She wasn't one to show her vulnerabilities and weaknesses out of both pride and insecurities, so each time she allowed him to see those sides of her, he just felt that much closer to her. Maybe he could be a bit overly friendly with her, but he found himself able to relate to her issues, and he wanted nothing more than her to find a better path for herself the way he did. It was a real shame he might not see her again after she left Gibraltar for good. He'd like to see where life takes her.
"Fine by me. And if you want, I'll come with you if you need someone to hold your hand, kiddo."
She scowled at him, a face that could rival his own mother's in terms of sternness. "Please, do not infantilize me, Jesse. I am not a child, nor am I in need of holding anyone's hand."
He laughed again, still very fond of that silver tongue of hers, and he was glad that it hadn't dulled. "Oh? Holding hands is out of the question now? I kinda liked holding yours the other night, didn't you?" he teased, slightly hoping to get a rise out of her. He half expecting her to get embarrassed, half expecting her to get even huffier at him.
She tapped her fingers against her chin as if seriously mulling his question over. There were no signs of either expectations crossing her face. In fact, she was as neutral as always. "Hm… That is certainly true… perhaps every now and then is fine. Very well then, I retract my prior statement. Here." He stared as she humorlessly held out her hand to him, clearly wanting him to take it. When he didn't move, she furrowed her brows and firmly extended her hand even further towards him.
"Why are you giving me such a look? I am bestowing my permission to hold my hand. In moderation, of course."
Geez, this woman. Never a dull moment with her. "Then I guess I'll take you up on that offer, yer Majesty. I'll be your escort for tonight," he said with that classic grin of his.
While he had been joking, seeing her thin hand felt like sunshine flooding his soul. Though he was sociable with his peers, it had been awhile since he got the chance to sit back and relax this intimately with a friend. Lately, everyone there at Gibraltar didn't have as much time to mess around like they did in the good old days. Nowadays, each one of them were always off on this mission or that. Even though they did their best to stay positive during their times together, there was that lingering cloud of somberness in their eyes. Years had passed since the glory days, and just too many things had changed, almost none for the better. It didn't help that some things were just too hard to bring up that it constantly made elephants in the room.
Maybe that was why he loved being able to be around Satya so much. She didn't have any ties to Overwatch's past, so it made it that much easier to talk to so freely like this. Whatever the reason, he'd cherish his time left with her until she said she was ready to go.
"Ms. Vaswani, what did you have to see me for?" Winston asked when she finally entered the room. A holographic screen appeared in front of them, and he flicked though different locations and faces, a few familiar but most foreign to Symmetra, attached to the digital pages.
He looked away from his work and immediately noticed that she hadn't come alone. He set the mug of coffee he had been holding down on his desk. "Oh, and Mccree? I don't believe I have you assigned for anything at the moment. Let me do a double check… I may have overlooked something. It'll only take a sec-"
"Nah, that's not it, Big guy," Mccree said, spinning one of the chairs around backwards to sit in. True to his word, he had agreed to come with her as moral support. "Im not here for any mission stuff, I'm just here for her."
"I see… You two have been getting along well from what I've heard," Winston said, giving him a curious stare. While Mccree was nothing of the loner type at Overwatch, it was still surprising that he would go so far to help someone he had barely met. Even more incredulous was how resistant Ms. Vaswani was in the beginning, yet here she was, keeping the cowboy as her confidant. He wondered what had happened between the two for them to be so close knit these days.
"Could say that, I guess."
Symmetra sat properly in her seat, ankles cross and her hands folded in her lap. Everything about her posture read elegance and grace, except upon closer inspection, she was ridden with nerves. Her face was taut with worry and her hands were gnarled together, knuckles fading to a paler hue every time she squeezed her fingers. She almost wished she hadn't dropped Mccree's hand the second she had stepped in the lab, but she felt that it was almost inappropriate to display that kind of behavior in front of anyone else. Just like saying his first name, she stubbornly wanted to keep it private.
Mccree hovered his hand near her shoulder for a moment, and when she gave a single nod, he placed it there gently to console her. As distressed as she was now, her anxiety would have risen to dangerous levels if he were not here. She might not have come at all if she was on her own, he guessed. Not that he took any solace in her suffering, but it was a little endearing that she found comfort and strength in him being there.
"What seems to be the problem? Is everything all right?" Winston asked, both confused and worried. He looked over at Symmetra to get an answer, but she said nothing. As calm as she looked, there was an onslaught of words in her mind. At first Winston most likely would not have guessed how she was feeling until he looked down to see her foot anxiously tapping on the floor. A nervous habit he also had.
"Been thinking that maybe I didn't really consider what was good for Symm. I don't think any of us really were," Mccree started off.
"I dont understand, what do you mean?"
"So, I know we're hurting for people right now, and that you had been keeping tabs on her to join for awhile but…" they both looked at her, but their gaze made her shrink until Mccree smiled at her. He turned his attention back to Winston. "We're just not a good fit for her. Hear me out on this, we were barely on a war zone back in Route 66 the other night, and just seeing her face… she's a brilliant architect, yes, but she's a civilian, a person, first. I don't want her to get hurt out there, no matter how good she is at what she does at her job."
Winston nodded his head, scratching his chin as he listened. "Oh dear… well, that certainly is an issue worth discussing. I had no idea you felt this way, Ms. Vaswani. Though I do want to hear your thoughts on the matter, seeing as you are the person in question. Do you personally believe you're not compatible with Overwatch?"
"It's… not that I believe myself to be incompatible…" she admitted, running her fingers along her forearm. Letting Mccree put his two cents in first made her feel a little less uneasy about expressing the bubbling thoughts that had been brewing in her mind. "In fact, the equipment and scientific possibilities here are more than enough for me to consider a future here. I will say that much. I just… I cannot bring myself to a life of a soldier, that is not the role I wish to take. Even your medic has been forced against her pacifism, having to take up arms for the sake of your goals, but the chaos and blood of your crusades is something I both fear and avoid. I could never be what you want me to be, and I humbly request that I take my leave. I wish to resume my life outside of this war zone you all have engrossed yourselves with."
She closed her eyes tightly, expecting to be chastised for her disobedience. A new position was set for her, and she knew more than anyone that going against the status quo was a recipe for disaster. It would be perfectly understandable that Dr. Winston would be angry at her for being so flippant and disrespectful for asking to leave when he had used so many resources and connections just to bring her here. She should be thankful that someone would even look her way after her involvement with Vishkar. When would she ever get such an opportunity like this again?
A few seconds passed and she opened her eyes carefully, only to see him slowly running his fingers along the photographs that decorated his desk. Years of personal history were all tucked away here, and she wondered what he was thinking when he plucked out one that had a man with glasses. The picture was visibly older than the rest, clearly held many times, and she tilted her head trying to see a better angle. From what she could tell, there was a gorilla in the picture. Perhaps Winston as a youth?
"If there's one thing I do not want, Ms. Vaswani… More than anything," he said, still fondly reliving his memories, "it's that I do not want to lose any more of my family here at Overwatch."
"Family?" Her face didn't betray her confusion as her tone did. She did a quick run through in her head, trying to think back and remember if she had seen any other gorillas on the base. Of course, nothing else came to mind. Winston had to be the only one on this entire base. If she could recall, she did read about a study on genetically enhanced gorillas colony on the moon a long time ago and had found it a fascinating at the time, but now that she thought about it, she never did end up hearing about how the study had ended. Clearly, he was one of them, definitely a scientific success, but perhaps he was the only one stationed here, or worse, the only one left? Then who did he consider his brethren?
"That's right, you see, Ms. Vaswani, every person you see here at Overwatch, and even those not present at the time… in the good times and bad, we've always been together. They're all like a family to me, and nothing pains me more than the thought of them getting hurt. We've lost too many in the past, I don't want to lose anymore," he said, holding the photo a little tighter yet being careful not to damage it. "They mean the world to me, and I'd do anything to see them live their lives to the fullest."
His concept of family was a little foreign to her. Not once did she consider of anyone at Vishkar as kin to her. She didn't even think of them as friends, just another means to complete their collective goal. Even her own blood related relatives were far from her thoughts, though she supposed, without seeing them for so many years, it was only natural. However, the people here felt so strongly towards each other, and it made her wonder if she could ever experience that sort of bond. "That is… an admirable sentimentality."
"You think so? You know, even though you've only been with us a short time, and, uh," he laughed nervously and grinned, "I hope I'm not being too presumptuous, but I did think that you'd be a wonderful addition to our family."
"I do not know about that. I am quite aware that I am not skilled with the dealings of people. I cannot understand them well. After all, I was swept up in Vishkar's lies without seeing the truth, even when it was placed right in front of me. I would find that I would stand out. "
"I have to disagree with you. You're better than you think, Ms. Vaswani."
"Yeah, besides, how could you stick out more than a giant talking monkey, right Symm? Can't say you see that every day," The cowboy brought up, doing his best to keep the conversation light.
Winston sighed, pushing up his glasses up. It was evident that he was used to the man's sense of humor and snark. "…Mccree, I'll pretend I didn't hear that for Ms. Vawani's sake."
Mccree's efforts were rewarded with Symmetra looking away and covering her mouth. She couldn't restrain herself and let out a small chuckle. It was so ebullient and vibrant here; People made jokes and laughed with one another, no one was cold, and more importantly, no one was alone. If her short amount of time with Mccree and the others was anything to go by, then maybe she understood the idea of family that wasn't her own after all.
It was a shame she'd have to cut it off so soon. "Thank you very much, both of you. I highly appreciate your consideration of my feelings." She politely bobbed her head and got up to her feet. "Now that we've more or less settled this, if you do not mind, I will return to my room to gather my belongings. Have a good night, Dr. Winston."
"Oh, very well. Take a well deserved rest. I know this must have been hard on you to think about, so I'm glad we were able to discern your worries. In the future, don't hold back on letting me know if there's anything bother you. My door is always open. Good night, Ms. Vawani, Mccree." Excusing himself, he headed out the door, presumably to head downstairs.
Once he was gone, Symmetra let out a long sigh and her built up stress was released along with it. "That…went better than I had intended…" She looked over at Mccree and smiled, "I see now that I was wrong to worry, but thank you for accompanying me nonetheless."
Mccree was content as long as she was all right. He got up to join her and pushed the chair he was sitting in back in its rightful spot. "I'll walk you back then since it's late. Wouldn't want you to get lost."
She made a face, proudly stating, "I've memorized the entire structure's layout and then some, I would never get lost."
"Even to the kitchen?"
"We go there every day for our meals, of course I would know where it is."
"Then how about a late night snack before bed?"
"You plan on finding the cookies Angela and Reinhardt baked for tomorrow, don't you? She had warned me to keep an eye out for you in case you intend to sneak a few before then."
"Ahh you caught me… making you my accomplice, so that just means your gonna have to come with me regardless," he coyly replied, holding out his hand again and squeezed when she took it.
"If I must."
Hearing their playful banter made Winston smile a little. When Symmetra let her guard down, it was hard to tell she was the same woman from Vishkar who had been brainwashed to be nothing more than a tool. She deserved to be happy and free from that cage of the past. Clearing his throat, he leaned over and poked his head into the room. "Actually, one more thing before you go. I almost forgot!"
The pair halted, not realizing that Winston was still in earshot. Symmetra was especially embarrassed, immediately dropping Mccree's hand once more as though she was caught redhanded doing some illegal activity. "Er, yes?"
"As we agreed, you will be relieved of your position here," he started, "as long as you promise me one thing, Ms. Vaswani."
Her blood slowly froze over, and she anxiously clutching her hand on her chest. Ignoring the discomfort of her fingertips pressing into her sternum, she swallowed hard. What sort of conditions would be laid out for her? For a split second, she wondered if she would have to live in isolation her whole life to avoid giving out Overwatch secrets or something even more drastic. "And… what might that be…?"
"Nothing impossible for you, don't worry. The condition is solely for you to continue to try and help make the world a better place on your own terms and ideals. I know you will, your heart and head is in the right spot, and now you have the freedom to take the chance. I can't wait to see the good you will do for us all."
Even if she had known what to say in response, it would have been impossible for her to get the words out. She turned her back on him and bit her lip. Holding back tears, she nodded her head. She never fully realized that others believed her to be good. All this time she was so worried that they would paint her as a villain, but to hear not only Mccree but Winston's good faith in her, it was enough to bring out feeling she didn't even know she had. Was this what it was like to make someone proud?
She ended up staying another two days, but by then, the news had already made its rounds. Believing the worst, she did her best not to meet anyones eyes and made herself scarce, always glued to Mccree's back. For the most part, no one made any mention of her decision to leave and gave her the space she clearly needed.
"You ready to go?" The cowboy asked as the jet's ramp started to lower itself once more, the machinery hissing as it operated.
They had come to the conclusion that she would depart that afternoon for the closest civilian airport, and from there, she would decide her destination. Her luggage had already been neatly packed and loaded, not that she had brought much to begin with. She had left behind a lot of her belongings at Vishkar, though most of it was uniform dresses and shoes that she had no intentions of donning again. A clean cut away from her old life, and she was ready to start anew.
But where to start?
Before she could think of a response to him, or even to her wandering thoughts, she heard her name on the wind. With a small turn, she soon saw that the Overwatch team had made an effort to see her off. Even members she hadn't had a chance to talk with were there, and the gesture really made her woes fade. She really had underestimated everyone, projecting her own insecurities on them.
Tracer was, of course, the first to come to her with a bittersweet smile. "Winston told me your headin' off now, so I just had to round up the troops for one last goodbye and to wish you good luck on your travels, luv! It was so nice to have you here, but I'm sure you'll do great things even without Overwatch," Tracer said as she held her arms out for a hug.
It was only now that Symmetra noticed that Tracer's arms had gauze wrapped snugly around them. All of them, while smiling, had a very tired look in their eyes. This could only be from going on mission after mission after mission. And for what? What good was it to fight and keep on fighting? The world had turned its back on them ages ago, leaving them nothing, not even an inkling of help. They could have lived out quiet and relatively peaceful days for the rest of their lives. No worrying about risking their blood and flesh for ungrateful people who only spat their name into the dirt.
Deep down, Symmetra knew the answer. She knew it the moment she had seen all those people praise Mccree for protecting them from Deadlock's influence, but she wanted to turn a blind eye to it. After all, it was easier to point fingers at Overwatch and call them dangerous rogues than it was to admit she was wrong. They too wanted a better world and to them, the only way to achieve it was to protect it, no matter the cost, even if meant their very lives. Truly, they were deserving of the term heroes, and she would never insult them again by thinking otherwise.
Leaning her head down, she allowed Tracer to hug her, which made the other woman smile and embraced her even tighter. Maybe Mccree was right. Perhaps she could have warmed up to her if she was inclined to give her a chance. She never did get an opportunity to develop friendships before, so she had grown up with a terrible habit of pushing people away until no one tried to approach her. If she could get over that hurdle and change things up a bit in the future… Mimicking the act, she hugged Tracer back. "Thank you, Lena."
"You remembered my name," Tracer said softly, grabbing Symmetra's hands and squeezing them. "Come visit us again, don't be shy now, you hear? We'd all love to have you back, you'll always have a place here, don't forget! We'll have a grand ol' time together!"
"Yes, I understand," Symmetra said, though she wasn't sure if visiting was something one could really do here. This was a military base, not a public domain, but it meant a lot to hear that she was still welcome amongst them. The second she left this place, it was very well possible that she'd never come back or see these faces ever again. Their paths would be going in completely different directions, and it was for the best.
Right?
"Oho? Aren't you a charmer? Don't you already have a certain Emily?" Torbjorn suddenly piped up, always ready to give his younger coworkers a hard time.
"Wh-wha? It was just a hug!" She cried, running after to chase after the chuckling old man with her fists in the air, leaving Symmetra more than a little confused. "A hug!"
Seeing that as an opening, more of the other members approached her and gave their own messages of good wishes and farewells. She had never been on the receiving end of such positive camaraderie that it made her a little awkward and shy. She almost wished she had time to become more familiar with everyone.
The one thing that really astounded Symmetra was that they were still smiling and benevolent despite knowing she had no intention of joining them. These were not the criminals the media had scorned and shunned into the shadows. These were real people, still doing whatever they could to preserve the hope and the possibility of a better future. Not only for themselves, but for the whole world.
The jet was the same one that she wanted to run away in last night, waiting for her with an open cargo bay door. She lingered, trying to gather her thoughts before making her way up the metal ramp. With every step, she felt herself get heavier as her body was gradually becoming stone to keep her rooted where she was. It almost was as if her feet were adamantly refusing to obey orders from her brain. Why was she so reluctant about leaving? Was this not what she wanted all along? Had she not demanded and insisted she wanted to live her life without conflict?
"Satya? Did you forget something?"
Hesitating just before she entered, she turned and looked at Mccree, who standing inside, one hand resting on the button that would separate her from this world of Overwatch. It was too late to hide the tears in her eyes. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she suddenly snatched his hand and pulled it away.
"What in the world are you-"
"I want to be part of Overwatch," she admitted in a hushed tone, squeezing his hand before letting it go the second she realized there was still an audience down below.
"Huh?"
Whether he didn't catch what she said or was trying to process it, she didn't know. Feeling the need to restate it, not only for him but herself, she straightened her posture and took a deep breath. "I want to be a part of Overwatch!" Satya Vaswani repeated, much louder this time to ensure that she could be heard over the jet's engine. It wasn't often that she raised her voice like this and her cheeks felt warm when she heard surprised gasps. Immediately, she looked away. "That is… if that is permissible…"
Mccree's jaw dropped when he realized what she was saying, but seeing her physically withdraw, he knew it was no time to be to just stand there and stare. Clearing his throat, he stepped away from the control panel and smiled. This was a big decision for her to suddenly make, but he'd continue to support her choice one way or another. All that really mattered was if she supported it herself. "You sure?"
Was she sure?
Absolutely not. She had never been so unsure in her all her years of life. There was nothing she could have done that could possibly determine the outcome of her choice. If she took up this path, she knew she couldn't expect for everything to be set out for her to follow and repeat time and time again. Every day would be a new one, and she would have to learn how to adapt to the new world around her. Her heart felt like it was beating a little faster just thinking about all the possibilities and what ifs.
"No, I am not, but somehow that makes me want to see this through. That I may learn to be sure in the choices I make for myself," she responded, shaking the nasty seeds from her mind. "That way, I believe, I will not have regrets. I know it may seem fickle of me, but this is my final decision."
Mccree lifted his hat off and placed it on her head. "In that case, welcome to the team, rookie."
