Before the Magic

"Where's Hermione off to?" Sirius asked as he poured himself a coffee.

Harry and Ron were sat at the long dining table in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, the former reading The Daily Prophet and the latter toying with the idea of another piece of toast.

"Camping. She does it every year since she finished her last year at Hogwarts," Harry said, turning the page of his paper.

"Second weekend of August," Ron added.

"By herself?" Sirius leant back on the counter.

Ron shrugged. "It something she needs to do. We've offered to go with her, but she…"

"Shuts down?" Hermione said as she walked into the kitchen. "I need the time alone."

She ignored Sirius' gaze as she poured herself some coffee into a flask. "I'll be gone for two days. I'll be fine. If I need some masculine energy to get under my feet, I'll send my Patronus." She flashed a sarcastic smile. "Okay?"

Sirius gave her a grin and raised his coffee mug at her. "Make sure you look out for the Dog Star. I've been told August is a good time to see it."

Ron sniggered and Hermione rolled her eyes before leaving the kitchen with her flask.

The Forest of Dean

Hermione took a deep breath the moment she landed in the forest, her boots crunching old leaves from previous autumn seasons. Her wand was immediately shoved into a side pocket of her backpack before she dropped it to the ground, keeping hold of her flask. She took another deep breath. Air filled with the scent of trees and dirt was all she could smell. Small creatures racing around in the trees at her sudden arrival could be heard above her head.

With a heavy sigh, Hermione took a seat on a nearby log and started to drink the coffee she'd brought with her. Something to help her focus on her surroundings for the moment and not her past.

It was no good. The tears came anyway. Silent and never-ending.

Hermione continued to sip the coffee anyway, wiping her cheeks roughly between sips.

It was an hour before the tears subsided and the coffee was gone.

Another hour and Hermione had the tent up. With no magic.

Always no magic.

And after the sun had set, with a book on her lap, a campfire giving her the light needed to read, and a cup of tea by her side, Hermione's growl of annoyance echoed through the forest.

"I don't recall sending a Patronus out," Hermione said to the dark.

"I don't know how to leave well enough alone," Sirius answered, stepping out from a nearby tree.

Hermione snapped her book shut, not moving from her spot. "If this was reversed, you'd be sulking about it being your business and everyone should keep out of it."

The flickering flames threw shadows over Sirius' face as he walked around it, almost making him look demonic. "You're not me."

Hermione watched him take a seat next to her at the log she was leaning against. He smiled brightly, tucking his wand into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

"How did you find me?" she reluctantly asked.

"I wouldn't leave Harry alone while he was at work." Sirius bumped her with his elbow. "He did not appreciate his co-workers hearing me ask if I needed to leave the house for his date night with Ginny."

"You're a menace," Hermione muttered. "Why now? I've been coming here for five years, you've never asked about this before." She shoved his arm away when he tried to bump her again.

"You've only been living in my house for the last six months. If I'd known earlier, I'd have been just as annoying then." Sirius grabbed her hand before she could shove him away and used his other arm to put it around her shoulders. "We'll get them back, darling. We will," he whispered into her ear.

Hermione froze in her movements to shrug Sirius off. "That's not for you to say."

Sirius sighed. "You need to stop blaming yourself. You did what you had to keep them safe. They'll come back to you."

Hermione felt a sob bubble up in her chest. She slapped Sirius' thigh. "I've only just stopped crying!"

Sirius laughed, the sound warm, even as it echoed around them. He wrapped both arms around her tightly, pinning hers down as she tried to get up. "Hermione, stop torturing yourself like this."

"That's not what this!" Her sharp voice caused a few sleeping birds to flutter in the trees.

She stopped trying to escape from Sirius' hug. Another sob escaped as the pain that permanently lived in her chest started to swell through her like fire, making her feel tired and weak. She couldn't take a full breath or even acknowledge Sirius rubbing her back, a hand tightly gripping hers. It was all grief at parents that still didn't know who she was. Every fibre of her felt it.

"What is this, Hermione?" Sirius asked in a whisper, pulling her into him.

"I miss them so much. I… I don't know how else to be close to them," she answered between sniffs.

Hermione felt Sirius nod against her cheek, his beard scratching her skin. "I get it. I do."

She had no more words or tears. Sirius loosened his grip on her as she settled into his arms.

The only sounds was the crackling of the fire, an owl hooting in the distance, and Sirius' steady heartbeat in Hermione's ear. It was calming and the pain started to return to its box.

"I hate that you don't leave things alone," Hermione said quietly.

"You knew the risks when you moved in." Sirius kissed the top of her head before pulling back.

She gave him a small smile as he gently wiped at her damp cheeks with his thumbs.

"Does it help? Coming here?" Sirius glanced over at the tent. "Is that a Muggle tent?"

Hermione nodded, getting up to pull one of the flaps back to show him the inside. "What you see is what you get."

"I see that."

She let go of the material, moving to pick her knocked over cup, the contents gone, and started walking towards the river. "And yes, it helps… It reminds me of time before magic and Hogwarts, when life was simple and all I knew was love and protection."

She heard Sirius' heavy footsteps crunch through the dead leaves behind her, the leather of his jacket creaking with his movements.

When she knelt down at the bank of the river to wash her cup, Sirius stood to the side, a shadow in her peripheral. "Don't," she said quickly.

Sirius paused in taking his wand out.

"No magic. I need it to be…" Hermione shook her head, shaking the cup of excess water.

Standing up, Hermione faced him, a small amount of moonlight coming through a break in the trees above them, and she could see the concern in Sirius' eyes.

"I'm fine, Sirius. I'm just holding onto the last good memory I have of my parents before magic was involved."

He nodded, putting his wand back into his pocket. "I've always wanted to camp the Muggle way."

"No," Hermione said firmly, pointing the cup at his face. "You're going home."

"You said no magic."

"And I also said alone." She started to walk away. Sirius grabbed her elbow.

Hermione yanked her arm up, but there wasn't enough momentum in her movement and Sirius gripped on tightly as he lost his balance. Hermione stumbled forward with him.

The water was colder than she expecting, taking her breath away as she flapped to keep her head above water, her cup long gone.

"You absolute moron!" She tried to slap at Sirius, who was laughing like it was the best thing to happen, but only ended up splashing them both.

"I bet you're rethinking the whole magic thing now?"

Hermione ignored him, wading out the water, and didn't stop to help Sirius out. She wanted to get away from him before she punched him in the face.

She yanked her thin jumper off, shivering in the cool summer air as it hit her bare arms, and tried to squeeze some water out of it while she walked back to her campfire. Her feet seemed to squelch louder and louder in her boots with each step. Her jeans and vest top did nothing to keep her warm.

And Sirius kept giggling like a child as he followed her.

Hermione threw her jumper on the log with a wet smack, keeping her back to one of her best friends. "Go home, Sirius. Please."

"I don't want to."

Hermione jumped, half-turning to find him right behind her. She might not be able to see his eyes properly in the light of the fire, but she still knew every emotion he always held in them, every tiny fleck of brown in the grey, all six flecks, and how he would frown when Sirius thought she didn't know he was watching her.

Sometimes Hermione would purposely lock eyes with him, to see what he would do. It was always the same thing.

"In a world of my own then," he would say apologetically. "Remembering the good old days with James and Lily."

He said it so often, Hermione had started believing that it was the truth.

Sirius took a step closer as he shrugged off his jacket, dropping it on the log by her jumper without looking. Even with the heat of the fire, Sirius was shivering a little, just like her.

Hermione swallowed against her dry throat as he took another step, now so close she could feel his breath on her face.

Hermione held his gaze, her heartbeat thudding hard, and swallowed once more. Sirius had never looked so… serious, for lack of a better word.

Hermione gave him a slap so hard his head whipped to the side.

"Fuck, Hermione!" Sirius barked, already rubbing at his cheek.

"You're doing this now? Here?!" Hermione punched him in the bicep. "Where I told you moments ago what this place means to me! Why I need this weekend camping – ALONE!"

The forest, bar the crackling fire, had gone silent. Like their surroundings and all its inhabitants were holding their breath to see what happened next.

Hermione breathed heavily through her nose, all feelings of cold long gone. Sirius stared at her, rubbing at his cheek with his fingertips.

"I overstepped?" Sirius finally broke the silence.

"With my camping trip – yes."

"Sorry," he mumbled. Finally, his eyes left hers as he took a few shuffling steps backwards. He grabbed his jacket. "I really did want to check you were okay. I didn't – I… That is—"

"Sirius," Hermione said with a heavy sigh. She moved quickly before she could overthink it.

In two large strides, Hermione had her arms wrapped around his neck and was kissing him with everything she'd been hiding from him since she moved into Grimmauld Place. Sirius immediately let his jacket go and held her tightly around the waist, returning the kiss with equal fervour.

And then she pushed herself out of his arms and took a step back as he stumbled forward.

"Now you may go," she said firmly, picking his jacket up for him.

"Hang on."

Hermione shook her head. "You're not the only one who can play havoc with a person's feelings." She threw his jacket into his face. "We'll discuss this when I get home. After my camping trip. That I had by myself!"

With a smug grin, Sirius nodded once and left Hermione in peace.

Once she was sure that he was gone, Hermione let out a heavy breath and looked through the small gaps in the trees, seeing a bright star twinkling back at her. Touching her tingling lips, Hermione laughed quietly at the fact Sirius had always been on the camping trips with her.