Anai goes to the zoo
Author's note: I accidentally instantly burn bridges with my anger issues and bitchiness and it's one of the reasons why I avoid interacting with others online and in general and why I don't converse with anyone anymore and hate myself.
Haida had placed cameras all around his house to keep watch for that horrid badger man. 'Not today' he thought to himself as he hid in the bathtub. 'Not today, Anai.' The cameras were wireless and easy to access on his phone. He checked each one of them obsessively to make sure no one was lurking about.
Suddenly, he heard splashing from his toilet. He turned his head and screamed in terror as a pair of black eyes glared at him.
It was Anai peeking at him from the toilet.
"OH NO OH JESUS OH GOD FUCK OH GOD OH NO!" Screamed the horrified hyena. "OH NO OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!"
Two hours passed of Haida screaming continuously while Anai glared at him nonstop not blinking even once. Slowly Anai rose out the toilet, dripping water all over the bathroom floor. "Take me to the zoo." He muttered.
Haida continued screaming.
"TAKE ME TO THE ZOO!" Screeched Anai.
"NO!"
"TAKE ME TO THE ZOO NOW OR I WILL SHIT IN YOUR TOILET!"
Haida stopped screaming and stared at Anai with a deadpan expression. "Anai, that's actually the proper place to shit for once."
"YEAH BUT I'LL MAKE YOU WATCH!"
"WHAT THE HELL, ANAI! NO! PEOPLE ACTUALLY GET OFF TO THAT!"
"WHAT?!"
"YEAH, IT'S FUCKED UP!"
Anai stepped out the toilet splattering toilet water all over the floor and then climbed into the bathtub. In a low creepy voice he said, "Then I will shit in your bathtub if you don't take me to the zoo."
"JEEZ, FINE!" Haida stepped out the bathtub. "AT LEAST DRY YOURSELF BEFORE STEPPING INTO THE CAR."
"NO!" Anai got on all fours and then shook his entire body like a dog drying itself off. "TAKE ME TO THE ZOO NOW OR ELSE."
Haida reluctantly took the horrible badger man to the zoo and parked out in the parking lot. "Okay." He sighed. "We're here."
"Drive into the zoo." Threatened Anai.
"WHAT? NO."
"DRIVE INTO THE FUCKING ZOO, HAIDA!"
"FUCK NO!"
Anai leaned close to Haida's face and muttered. "Drive into the zoo right now or else I will shit into your gas tank."
"ANAI, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THREATEN TO SHIT ON EVERYTHING?"
"DRIVE INTO THE ZOO RIGHT NOW!"
"FINE, OKAY!" Haida started up the car and slowly drove it into the zoo. The person selling tickets at the gate to enter the zoo melancholy sighed as the car drove passed by breaking down the gate and fence that prevented visitors that haven't paid for their ticket from getting in.
"TAKE ME TO THE GIRAFFES!"
"Fine."
Haida slowly drove over to the giraffe section of the zoo. Anai punched the car window shattering it and then jumped out the seat.
"ANAI, YOU COULD HAVE JUST OPENED THE DOOR!"
Anai screeched as he fell down into the giraffe's lair and then ran over to one of the creatures to climb upon its back. "MUSH!" He screeched at the creature. "KILL THEM ALL!"
A child and their parent stared at the commotion. "Mommy! What's wrong with that man?"
"Don't make eye contact with it."
Haida sighed as he watched everything unfold. "Fuck my life."
Soon the cops were called. "SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE LONG-NECKED HORSE… CREATURE. WHATEVER IT IS."
"GIRAFFE!" Screeched Anai. "FUCKING GIRAFFE!"
Suddenly Anai was knocked onto the ground as the giraffe transformed into a spaceship and the gods of Jupiter's moons appeared. "WE ARE THE GODS OF JUPITER'S MOONS AND WE BRING TO YOU A MESSAGE OF IMPORTANCE. WE—"
Anai smacked them and then smacked the cops and then climbed out the giraffe lair and climbed back into the car smacking Haida last. "Take me home."
Without saying anything Haida took him back home and then went back to his own place to collapse on his bed. He lifted his head up and then screamed in terror as a pair of black eyes glared at him. "ANAI, WHAT THE HELL?! STOP DOING THIS!"
"I forgot my shoes." Anai hissed and then scurried off.
