This is my first one shot, I'm not sure how I feel about it but I needed to write something else while figuring out the next chapters for my other stories. It's kind of short but I hope you enjoy it anyway. All mistakes are mine :)


The sharp October wind ripped through Rachel's hair, leaving it matted with leaves and tiny bugs. It had gotten too long and scraggly over the past few months and was in desperate need of a trim. It was in such bad condition that she was considering a pixie cut.

At some point she just stopped caring. Her appearance was questionable at best. Her moods were always all over the place, she couldn't bear to think about the tremendously hideous mess that was now her apartment. Did she remember when this way of living took over her life? No. Did she remember why? Unfortunately.

She opened the door to the tiny apartment that was becoming more and more bear with each visit. Truthfully, she wasn't sure why she and Finn never moved in together. But hey, his apartment was finally sold and everything was almost out. It was something.

There were a few shirts draped over random pieces of furniture that hadn't been moved yet that still gave the apartment a homely-ish feel. The smell of his cheap aftershave also lingered in the air like a distant memory.

"Looking pretty empty in here, huh?" Rachel said as she walked around, examining the old looking place. God knows how the estate agent got it to sell.

"I can feel you judging it, yet we all know you secretly love it." Finn mused teasingly.

"Is that water damage?" Rachel asked, her eyes never leaving the ceiling. "How did I never notice that?"

"Because we spend all our time in your apartment. The water damage builds character."

"And a bad odour."

Finn rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't get it, your new build is like a Lego house."

"At least it's clean." She mumbled under her breath.

"This is clean for my standards!" He laughed.

"It's probably a good thing that I got into that accident. If I hadn't then we still would've spend everyday at your apartment, and eventually this place would be overgrown with mould and mildew."

"Don't say that." Rachel warned.

"Sorry. I know how you feel about the word mould. I will agree, it's a nasty word. It makes my mouth feel icky."

"You know that's not what I meant." Rachel avoided eye contact as she packed some loose bits into storage boxes.

"Try not to be so uptight about it. You need to move on."

"I don't want to." She huffed.

"You do realise that's what you're currently doing." He chuckled.

She remained silent, knowing he had a fair point. She just didn't want to admit it.

She avoided packing away the tat as much as possible. Books and CDs piled high on the counter. The dirty shirts, takeout menus. They felt like the museum of Finn, and if she touched these random artefacts of his life, it would be like officially removing him from the apartment.

"Why do you suddenly have such an emotional attachment to this place? I basically live at yours. In the six years we've been dating I'd say you've stepped foot in it about four times. You hate it."

"Hate is a strong word."

"It's the correct word to describe your feelings towards this place. We both know it. Why the sudden love for it? I can obviously see you avoiding packing those things." He gestured towards the little things she had taken notice to earlier.

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess it's just part of the new mood I've been in since the accident."

"Ooo, a package deal. Gotta love a two for one special." Finn smiled.

"More like a ten for one. Ask Britt and Santana. They've been on the short end of the stick for the past few weeks."

"Awh, try give the poor girls a break." Finn asked sweetly.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Easy for you to say. You haven't had to face anyone."

"Oh yeah, I'm lucky." He smirked.

She ignored him. That's the only option sometimes.

She continued to sort through the clutter, putting away the least sentimental bits and trying not to touch the ones that she knew she didn't have to pack until the very last minute.

"Tell me if you come across my phone, I've lost it in this mess." Finn called from the other side of the room.

"Sure, haven't seen it yet." She lied. She found it about two weeks ago when she was packing the kitchen utensils. She pretended she hadn't seen it and tossed it into a random drawer. Typical of Finn not to have noticed.

"So how's everyone doing? Since I've been, you know…." He trailed off, not wanting to upset her.

"Housebound." She finished. "Day by day. Just a heads up, your moms calling by later to give a hand with the boxes."

"Cool. Won't be here tho. And I have a feeling you won't be either." He replied cooly.

"Being dead made you cocky, you know that?"


"Will you wait in the car with Dash? I just don't think it'll be good for him to see everything." Santana asked her wife as she unbuckled herself from the passenger seat of their car.

"Sure." Brittany replied, twisting around in her seat to check if he was listening. Thankfully, their four year old son was happily occupied with the basket of toys they strategically placed in the backseat this morning when he fell ill and couldn't go to preschool.

"You sure you're ok to go along though?" Brittany asked, her face growing concerned.

"It's not nice to see, but I think today was the last day available to get the rest of the things out before the new owners move in. Needs to be done."

Brittany nodded silently as Santana began the short walk to the third floor, where she hesitated before walking in.

The sight of Rachel standing in the centre of the room never failed to break her heart. She watched her for a moment as the sobbing girl clung to one of Finn shirts, almost shaking with rage.

"You don't understand, he's here! Every time I come into the apartment I see his face. I talk to him and there he is, talking back to me. I touch his shirts and I'm touching him. None of you get it." Rachel screamed into the almost empty apartment.

A few stray items, including Finns phone, sat untouched on the island in the centre of the kitchen, not far away from where Rachel was still clinging to the shirt, chocking angry sobs.

Apparently, hallucination was common with grief. It was terrifying watching someone go through it alone, but Santana hoped for Rachel's sake that this was the last experience she had.

Rachel ignored her as Santana pottered around and packed the last few items into the final box.

Rachel had sunken to the concrete ground, shirt in hand, as Santana finished. She held out Finns phone and offered it to Rachel, which she took hesitantly.

"Can I have one more minute alone?" She asked quietly.

Santana looked around the room filled with odd pieces of furniture and brown boxes. The storage company was coming to get them soon.

"I'll be waiting outside."

As Santana closed the door, Rachel stood back up, still wrapped in Finns arms.

"You feel so real."

"I did exist, you know. I was a real person."

"You know what I mean."

"I'll never be fully gone, Rach, but you have to move on. You can't keep coming back here."

"This is the only place I can see you. I can hear you, feel you."

"But it's time to let go." He whispered gently.

His arms were still wrapped around her. At least, it felt like they were. She breathed in his scent, knowing it was just the shirt.

"Will I ever see you again?" She asked, her eyes refilling with tears.

"I'm assuming you're going to keep at least one picture of me up. You know, in a nice fancy frame or something."

Rachel glared at him.

"I'm kidding. Honestly, I don't know. Talk to my urn, read me the local newspaper everyday. Who knows what'll happen." He smiled.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, but I'm always gonna be with you. Not even death can keep me away."

It was the first time she had laughed in eight weeks.

She hugged Finn one more time, knowing that she wouldn't feel him again once she left the apartment for the final time. He hugged her back, tighter than he ever had before.

She stuffed the shirt and his phone into her bag and walked slowly towards the door.

"I love you, Finn."

Although she couldn't hear him say it back, she could definitely feel it.