BURNING FLAMES OR PARADISE
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THIS LOVE
This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me
NOVEMBER 2009
The next time Kate emerged from the international arrivals at Heathrow she was greeted by both Rick and Alexis, who Kate hugged before greeting Rick. It had been just a few weeks, but she'd had such a good time on her previous visit that when Rick invited her to fly out for her birthday - on his dime - she had immediately requested time off. By some miracle she was given the whole week, so they detoured through baggage claim to grab her suitcase before heading to the town car that Rick had hired.
"We could have just taken a cab, you know. I am used to them," Kate reminded Rick as the car pulled into traffic.
Rick shot her a look over Alexis' head. "I wasn't about to make us squeeze into one, especially not after you just got off a plane."
Kate rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. "You flew me first class. I wasn't exactly lacking leg room."
"Still." Rick nudged his daughter's shoulder and she looked up from her phone. "Did you bring the list?"
Alexis nodded and pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. "Yep. Now, Kate," she continued, shifting to face her as best she could with the seatbelt on. "I have some ideas for things to do, but is there anything in particular you'd like to see?"
"Starting tomorrow," Rick interrupted. "We figured you'd want to stay in tonight."
Kate nodded. She wasn't tired yet, but she'd stayed at work late the night before trying to close a case, and had barely slept on the plane. The lack of sleep, combined with a full day of travel, would catch up to her soon.
"Um, do I need to tell you now?" she asked, giving Rick a pleading look.
He chuckled. "Of course not. We can take it day-by-day if you want. Well, except Tuesday. We have plans."
It took her a few seconds to connect the dots. Tuesday - oh. "You already made plans for my birthday?"
Judging by the way Rick's face fell, her question came out harsher than she'd intended. "That's not what I meant," she assured him, suddenly wishing that Alexis wasn't between them so she could take his hand, or that she could press her mouth to his.
Where the hell did that come from?
Kate leaned back against the door, her gaze locked on him as she pushed away the sudden rush of desire. "Is that why you told me to bring a nice outfit?"
Rick gave her a sheepish smile, his cheeks turning pink. "I thought it would be fun to dress up."
Kate just smirked and turned her attention out the window.
She didn't remember nodding off, but she opened her eyes to see Rick outside the car, his face close to hers, and she gave him a sleepy smile. "What'd I miss?" she asked around a yawn.
"Nothing you didn't see last month," he assured her, taking a step back and holding out his hand.
Her breath caught in her throat when her fingers touched his, and she gasped, met his gaze with her own. His eyes darkened, and she saw his gaze flick to her mouth, his head moving closer to hers, but when the driver cleared his throat she jumped back.
Rick's cheeks flushed and he let go of her hand. "Sorry," he muttered, stepping aside as Kate slid out of the car. He took the handle of her suitcase and batted her hand away when she reached for it. "Thanks, Earl," he said to the driver.
"Any time, Mr. Castle."
Kate followed Rick inside to his now-familiar flat, and straight to the guest room so she could freshen up from the flight. He and Alexis were both in the kitchen when she emerged, and Rick handed her a glass of wine and pointed at the dining table.
"So Kate," Alexis asked as she diced vegetables, "how's work? Any interesting cases lately?"
Kate glanced at Rick, and when he just smiled and shrugged, she curled her fingers around the stem of her glass. "Things have been pretty standard lately," she admitted. She watched Rick's shoulders droop, which she recognized as disappointment, and chuckled. "Sorry, Castle. No crazy conspiracies to bounce off you."
Rick smirked before turning to the stove. "Maybe next time."
Next time.
Kate felt her cheeks flush. They were becoming friends again, staunchly avoiding any topic that might lead to a conversation about their relationship. Which was fine with her, at least for the time being; her psychiatrist suggested that she was scared to pursue anything again, and not just with Rick.
Her fling with Will the FBI agent had been brief, and she'd been relieved when he'd transferred to Boston late in January. She hadn't even considered keeping up a long distance relationship with him. The only man she'd do it for was Rick, but she couldn't bring herself to broach the subject.
She didn't think she'd survive another implosion.
But he was making it really hard for her not to fall for him again.
"Wow," Rick breathed Tuesday afternoon when Kate emerged from the guest room in a dark blue cocktail dress and ballet flats, holding a small black clutch. His eyes were drawn to the plunging neckline, and when he forced his gaze back up to her face and saw her smirking at him, he felt his cheeks flush. "You-" His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "You look great."
Kate grinned. "Thanks. So do you."
Rick glanced down at his open-collared suit. "What, this old thing?" He shrugged and slid his hands in his pockets so he didn't reach for her when she passed him.
Aside from hugs and a kiss on his cheek, they'd kept their distance from each other physically, and he wanted to touch her, almost ached with it. But he knew how hard it was for her to open up emotionally, especially when she was worried she'd get hurt.
His words before he'd left for London haunted him, as did the look in her eyes when he'd suggested she leave her job to accompany him. She'd looked devastated. And he refused to do that to her again.
So, he ignored his desire to touch her, to kiss her, to make her gasp in pleasure. Instead, he patted his pockets to make sure he had their tickets, helped her into her coat, and led her out the door.
"Will you tell me where we're going?" Kate teased as they walked into the elevator.
Rick grinned and pressed the button for the lobby. "We're going to the theater," he announced, stepping back so they were side-by-side.
"At four in the afternoon?"
"We're having dinner first."
Although the theatre wasn't very far from his apartment, the bitter November weather made it too cold to walk, so when they stepped outside, Rick motioned to the waiting town car. "After you," he offered, holding his arm out as Earl opened the back door for them.
Kate flashed him a smile, the wide, dazzling grin that warmed his insides. "Thanks, Rick," she said as she slid into the backseat.
She'd told him once that she didn't celebrate her birthday much, that it was just another day to her. So as soon as her plans to be in London had been finalized, he'd gone to work planning, wanting to make it extra special. He'd found an Italian restaurant near the theater that, among further examination, looked to be the perfect combination of casual and romantic.
"You're being such a gentleman," Kate teased when he slid her chair out for her. She took a sip of water as he sat across from her, and smirked. "Hoping you'll get lucky?"
Rick froze with his hand halfway to his napkin, and he felt his face flush. "Oh-uh-I'm not-" he stammered, his hand falling to the table. Oh, God, did she really think-
"Rick. I'm kidding."
He forced himself to meet her gaze, and when he noticed her lips turned up in a smirk, his heartbeat started to return to normal. "Sorry," he said on an exhale. "I'm just trying to make your birthday special."
Even in the low light of the restaurant, he saw her cheeks turn pink. "It already has been," she said, her voice barely audible over the din surrounding them. Her eyes dropped to the table, and she took a breath as if she was going to continue, but the waiter appeared before she could.
"Did I hear that there's another movie?" Kate asked after they ordered.
Rick sighed, more than a little annoyed at the waiter's timing. He'd seen something in Kate's eyes - exactly what, he wasn't sure, but it had seemed like she was going to say something else. Something that had hope blooming in his chest. He reached for his wine and took a sip to clear his mind a little.
"Yeah," he confirmed, placing his glass back down. "The first one did so well, both the book and the movie," he clarified, "that they optioned the second one immediately."
Kate leaned forward in her chair with an encouraging smile. "That must be so exciting, Rick."
He shrugged. "Well, it's Bond, so it was kind of a foregone conclusion."
"Still, it's your story. That's special."
"I guess." Rick mirrored her pose, his elbows on the edge of the table. "Tell me about some cases," he almost begged. He didn't want to talk about his books anymore. They had a bit during her first visit, and he was set on staying in London until June, so Alexis could finish out the school year. But he'd already decided he wanted to go back to New York.
What he hadn't said to Kate was that he wanted to shadow her again. He enjoyed writing Bond - despite his time at MI-6 being less than exciting - but he was ready to stop after the third book. And, he missed Nikki Heat. He missed thinking of new, fun cases, missed her dynamic with Rook, exploring her character.
And, he missed spending time with Kate. He missed her desperately.
He ignored the subtle narrow of Kate's eyes, focused instead on her words, on the story she told of a recent case involving stolen organs and the Russian mob. Apparently she'd been required to go undercover to save a sting gone wrong, and when she told him that she'd improvised wearing little more than her jacket, he almost choked on his wine.
They fell silent when their food arrived, and Rick found himself longing for a return to their easy conversation, to comfortable silences, to how they were before. He still felt an immeasurable amount of guilt over their last break up, that had been entirely his fault. And then he went months without any contact; it was no wonder she'd rebuilt the wall around her heart.
It was starting to come down, he thought as they passed on dessert and he paid the bill. She wasn't as closed off as she was when they'd first met, or even through that first year, but he knew he had a lot of work to do again.
So it took him by surprise when her hand curled around his bicep during their short walk to the theatre. He flexed, and the appreciative hum he heard from her made him flush with pride. He was definitely still attracted to her, and it was nice to have the confirmation that the feeling appeared to be mutual.
When they arrived at the theatre she gasped and leaned into his side. "Are you serious?" she exclaimed, her excitement contagious.
He retrieved the tickets from his pocket and handed them to the usher, who motioned them inside. Kate let go of him when they passed through the narrow door and he missed her immediately, missed the warmth at his side.
"Is this a good thing?" he asked when they entered the lobby. "It sounded like it, but…"
She nudged him with her elbow and glanced up at him. "Yes, you ass," she teased. "I gotta use the ladies' room."
"I'll wait here." He sent a quick text to Alexis, checking in to see if she finished her homework, not that he needed to worry about her. She was more responsible than he'd ever been, and he had no doubt she'd even enforce her self-imposed bedtime. He smiled when she confirmed that, adding a plea not to be noisy when he and Kate returned.
Kate emerged from the restroom just a few short minutes later, and he silenced his phone and slid it into his pocket.
"I read Othello in high school," Kate told him, her grin wider than he'd seen in a long time. "And I fell in love with it. I can't explain why. But I'd heard about this production. I thought it was sold out, though. How'd you get tickets?"
Rick smirked. "I know a guy," he teased. He offered his arm so they wouldn't get separated in the rapidly filling lobby. He saw her eyes roll at his statement, and suppressed a chuckle.
He did know a guy, but getting two front-row tickets and a post-show invite backstage had been an ordeal even for him. It had required him to call in multiple favors, promise to name a main character after the box office manager, and pay an exorbitant amount of money.
But when the lights dimmed and the curtain rose, and he glanced next to him to see Kate looking happier than he'd ever seen, when her hand found his in the dark and her fingers laced through his, he knew without a doubt that it was worth every penny.
As they left the theatre long after the show ended, Kate was speechless and overwhelmed with gratitude. Rick had had no way of knowing that Othello was her favorite Shakespeare play, or that she'd glanced at ticket availability, or even that it starred two of her favorite actors. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd see them live, let alone meet them backstage.
"You good?" Rick asked when she failed to hide a wide yawn.
Kate felt her face flush, and she shivered when a cold gust of wind rushed down the street. Her coat was thick and she was wearing tights under her dress, but the temperature had dipped below freezing, and she longed for Rick's warm, solid frame.
The arousal that flooded through her at the memory of the man in question's body took her by surprise, and she crossed her arms to stop herself from reaching for him, to ask him to warm her.
"Just cold," she assured him around another yawn. "And a little tired."
Rick grinned. "The car will be here in a minute."
The familiar town car pulled up almost as soon as he spoke the words, as if he'd summoned it with a mere thought, and she almost moaned in relief when she slid into the warm back seat. As the car pulled away she looked over at Rick, and she was so full of gratitude, not only for the trip, and the unforgettable evening, but that he was even back in her life.
The realization hit her almost as hard as the November chill.
She still loved him.
He turned to meet her eyes, and his gaze was so soft that she felt every last bit of anger and resentment melt away. She'd shut herself off emotionally, not just from him but from everyone. But much like he had when they'd first met, he tore right through that wall. And, despite her intent to take their renewed relationship slowly, to become friends again before even considering anything else, she didn't want to hold back anymore.
He'd given her all of himself. He deserved the same from her.
He opened his mouth in surprise when she unbuckled her belt, but her mouth was on his before he could say anything. She pressed her palm against his cheek and leaned in closer, the heat of his leg almost searing her where they touched, his hand curling around her waist as she deepened the kiss.
"Kate," he gasped when they parted, his eyes searching hers even in the dark car. "I didn't intend-"
"I know," she interrupted, sure of her desire for him, more sure than anything in her life since joining the NYPD. He didn't expect anything more than what she was willing to give. He wouldn't pressure her, or go farther than she wanted. He was letting her lead. And, God, that made her love him even more.
Her thumb traced his bottom lip, and she dropped her gaze to follow his tongue as it darted out to taste her. "Did you plan anything else tonight?"
Rick's eyes darkened, and his fingers tightened around her ribs. "No," he husked, his voice low, gravelly, full of pure want.
Kate shifted so she could sling her leg over his, and she settled on his lap, keenly aware but not caring that the movement caused the hem of her dress to slide up her thighs. Judging by the way his hips lifted into hers, he noticed, too.
His hands fell to her thighs, but he didn't move them, didn't caress, just flexed against her. "You're sure?"
Kate threaded her fingers through his hair. It was a little longer than what she was used to, but she didn't mind, felt the heat between her legs blossom as she imagined gripping his hair as they moved together.
She pressed her forehead to his and nodded. "I'm sure."
