All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it's a very very

Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day, they feel good

Happy birthday, happy birthday

And I feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson?

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it's a very very

Mad world, mad world

Enlarge your world

Mad world

by Gary Jules

Chapter 8: Mad World

The distant sound of a faint beeping began to rouse Hitomi. Her eyelids felt unusually heavy, as if they hadn't been used in quite some time. A soft groan escaped her lips as she tried to move her limbs. Everything felt heavy. She attempted again to open her eyes, she struggled for a moment but managed to eventually crack them open.

She was momentarily blinded by the onslaught of light shining down on her. Am I dead? She wondered, waiting for her eyes to adjust. The beeping seemed to grow louder and intensify, "Where…?" Hitomi struggled to speak. Her throat felt as dry as a desert. She closed her eyes again, and tried to focus on the sounds of distant voices. She faintly heard one of them say her name. Where am I? She wondered as she tried to open her eyes again.

"Oh good you awake Kanzaki-san" the voice was gentle and calming, but Hitomi did not recognize it. "You shouldn't try to move." Finally she opened her eyes and began to focus on the figure standing next to her.

"Where…. am I…?" The woman kindly hushed her. Hitomi watched her intently, she was clad in an all white uniform.

The woman looked down at Hitomi and smiled gently at her, "You're at Shonan Kamakura General Hospital." She opened up the clipboard she was holding and began to jot down some notes. Hospital…? Hitomi's eyes moved from the woman and down to her arms. Both her wrists had been bangaded.

"I'm still here…" she sadly mumbled. Who was I to think I could outwit Fate? It felt like yet another sick twisted joke.

The nurse glanced over her shoulder to look at her. "You're very lucky someone found you. It was very touch and go when you arrived." she examined the IV drip bag and jotted down more notes.

"Hitomi!" Her attention was pulled from her self pitying to the doorway. "Oh my god Hitomi!" Yukari burst into the room and hurried over to her friend's side. She grasped onto one of Hitomi's hands, holding it tightly. "I was so scared I was going to lose you…" She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears. The nurse took the friends' reunion as her queue to leave.

"Yukari...I…" She didn't even know where to begin. She hadn't exactly planned on surviving.

"How could you do something so stupid?" Yukari asked. "If things were so bad…" she paused to collect herself, "I wish you had talked to me… I-I thought we were best friends… you know you can tell me anything… I'll always be here for you..."

Hitomi couldn't bring herself to look at her friend. Instead, she turned her gaze to the window. She didn't know how to feel right then and there. She felt she was sad, embarrassed, and ashamed of herself. "I know, Yukari…" her voice trailed off, she didn't even know if she would be able to fully explain why. She wanted to, but she didn't know how. "I'm sorry…"

Yukari, not being able to hold back, pulled her friend into a tight embrace. "I know, I know… just promise me you wont do anything this stupid again." her voice quivered as she held back her tears. "I don't want to lose you…" Hitomi's eyes went wide, when was the last time she had been hugged? When was the last time she actually felt cared for? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Slowly, she raised her arms to return the spontaneous embrace.

"I'm sorry…." Yukari pulled away and looked her friend in the eye.

"Don't say you're sorry. Sorry isn't going to change what you did." She knew she was being emotional, but the fear of losing her oldest friend had hurt Yukari to her very core. "Just promise me….promise you won't do something like this again...please…."

Hitomi averted her eyes, she wanted to tell her friend everything she longed to hear, but she knew she couldn't make that promise. "Yukari... I… I don't know if I can…" the pain, the loneliness and loss was more than she could bear.

"Yes, you can. I know you can!" Yukari had begun to raise her voice. Her sadness had slowly begun to morph into anger. She wanted to shake her friend, to snap her out of the darkness.

Hitomi's brows knitted together, she was beginning to feel frustrated with her friend. She would never understand, Hitomi had determined. "You don't understand anything… it's not so simple."

"Then help me understand!" Hitomi shook her head, she couldn't. Not then, not at the moment. She didn't want to talk, she just wanted to be dead. She wanted to be released from the unending cycle of pain and remorse."Hitomi-"

"I just wanted to die!" She snapped, cutting Yukari off. She clenched her fists tightly as the monitors she was hooked up to began to beep wildly. The symphony of noise alerted the nursing staff, prompting a more senior nurse to investigate. She quickly noted the agitated state of her patient and turned to face Yukari.

"I think Kanzaki-san has had enough excitement for the time being," She politely bowed her head. Although the wounds had been closed, they still needed to keep their patient's vitals stable. She pulled out a syringe from her pocket and approached the IV drip bag where she proceeded to inject a sedative into the mix. "Visiting hours will resume later, Kanzaki-san needs to rest.

Hitomi looked at the nurse, pleadingly. She didn't need rest, she wanted to protest but that would quickly become impossible. The drug took quick effect as her eyelids became increasingly heavy. Each blink became slower until her body had been lulled to sleep. Yukari sighed in defeat. Perhaps she could have approached the issue differently, she thought as she departed the room. She returned to the waiting room, wracked with guilt. I should have seen the signs… I should have…

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Hitomi's eyes fluttered open, her brows knitted together as she observed her very familiar surroundings. She was back in her home, in her bedroom more specifically. How did I...?

"Shit!" she heard a voice shout from beyond her room. She turned to look at the door and went to investigate. She leaned out of the room and heard the voice curse again. It was coming from the bathroom, she determined. She went to step out but felt her body freeze. She already knew what she was going to find. She closed her eyes and went to turn away. She couldn't bear witness to the scene she knew would be unfolding.

Her subconscious mind however wasn't about to let her off the hook. When she opened her eyes again, she found she had been transported to the bathroom. As her eyes came to settle on her frail, pale body, she let out a gasp of horror. There had been so much blood.

As if on queue, the scene before her seemed to rewind, and she bore witness to the horrific scene. She watched herself go through the motions again, the slitting of her wrists, her blood drip down her hands and slowly pool at her feet. It was gut wrenching to watch, but she couldn't look away as much as she wished to.

"Shit!" she heard the voice shout from behind her. The sound shook her to her very core. She slowly turned to see whom it was, but she already knew. She had instantly recognized it. There was no mistaking it. It was the silver haired demon. What was he still doing in her home? I thought he had left…

Dilandau stood in the doorway, stunned at what he had found. His face painted with a mix of both shock and horror. Without any hesitation, he had leapt into action. He tore his shirt off and diligently set about ripping off a pair of long strips of fabric. He grabbed one arm and went about wrapping it tightly just above the wound, creating a tourniquet. He repeated the action on her other arm, cursing under his breath the entire time.

"Why...why did he…?" Hitomi asked aloud, knowing full well she wouldn't get an answer. "S-s-stop…" she begged. "Why won't you let me die!?" she cried out. She brought her hands to her face to block herself from watching his heroic actions. He had saved her.

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Hitomi awoke, startled by her dream. Or was it… she paused for a moment as she tried to sort out her thoughts. It couldn't have been a vision. She hadn't experienced those since she initially returned from Gaea. She still couldn't help but wonder, why did he bother to save her? He had his revenge, why couldn't he just leave her to die? Why…? The question plagued her.

She shifted her body, struggling to try and sit upright. "Oh you really should move in your condition," the attending nurse spoke as she made her way to the bedside. "If you want to sit up, please use this," She handed Hitomi the remote for the bed after demonstrating how to use it properly.

"Thank you," The nurse smiled and inquired if Hitomi had an appetite for food yet. The lunch meals had already been distributed in the ward, but she had assured her that it wouldn't be a fuss to have one delivered. "Sure, I guess I could try…" She still wasn't feeling up to it, but figured she would give it a try. Just before the nurse left, Hitomi called out to her, "Excuse me, before you go, I just have a question." It had been nagging her since she had initially woken up in the hospital.

"Yes?"

"How…ummm…" She paused for a moment, not entirely sure how she wanted to word her question. "Who brought me here?" she finally asked.

The nurse smiled at her, "Oh, you're boyfriend brought you here. Carried you right into the emergency department."

"B-b-boyfriend?!" Hitomi was confused and slightly mortified.

The nurse let out a small chuckle, "It was quite the scene, I must say. It was something you'd only see on those daytime tv dramas." Hitomi was at a complete loss for words. Boyfriend? Did he say that? Or did the staff just assume? Regardless, she felt completely mortified. It was bad enough she survived the ordeal, but now people thought that sadistic demon was her boyfriend. She promptly lowered her bed and pulled her blankets up over her head.

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Dilandau hated to wait. He hated sitting still. He hated having to do both simultaneously. The chair in the hospital lobby wasn't comfortable in any sense. The padding had been worn down so much that it was nothing more than fabric stretched over a metal frame. He sat with his arms folded across his chest, tapping his fingers on his elbow.

He really didn't want to be there. He didn't feel he needed to remain, however Yukari had persuaded him to stay and wait with her. She had batted her eyelashes and ever so subtly threatened to make a scene if he should try to leave. The malicious look she had shot him had sent a chill up his spine.

When the nurse had come to inform them that Hitomi had awoken, Yukari told him to wait. He turned his head away to show he didn't care. I should just leave, he told himself. She was gone, she couldn't very well stop him. But that face she made, the one that looked as if it could rip out his very soul. It still terrified him.

He loathed having to wait yet again. The lack of distractions meant he had to listen to the fleury of thoughts encircling his mind. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, he wasn't ready to deal with the series of thoughts plaguing him, nor was he in the mood to deal with the strange feeling he was currently experiencing. He didn't want to think or dwell on it, however in the back of his mind he knew it was a sensation of guilt. He tried to shake off the feeling. It was something he was not used to experiencing. Something about this world must have altered him, Dilandau concluded. This world truly is cursed...

Yukari returned shortly, her cheeks stained with tears. "That was quick," He stated, nonchalantly. She averted her eyes and sullenly sat down next to him.

"I feel like I don't even know her anymore... " She leaned back in her seat, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought. "How did I miss the signs… I should have noticed…" She tried to hold back her tears yet again. "Thank you, Dilandau…" she said, her voice faltering. "I know I said this before, but I'm so gratefully you were there. I don't know what I would have done if she...if she… if she had died…" she repositioned herself to lean forward, resting her head in her hands.

Dilandau studied her intently, the emotional energy she had been exuding was overwhelming to him. He was struggling to understand why she was feeling the way she did, which only further made him question what he was feeling himself. This was something new to him. For years he had been trained to lock away any emotions. He had been experimented on to ensure those troublesome emotions wouldn't surface within him. Emotions clouded the mind, he had been told. He couldn't be the perfect soldier if he experienced sensations such as guilt or remorse.

Yukari sighed heavily, she was exhausted. It had been a long and emotionally trying day. She felt her stomach churn and heard it make an audible growl. She couldn't even recall if she had eaten anything that day. She had awoken to Hitomi's bizarre text, which was followed shortly by a phone call from Dilandau explaining he was en route to the hospital with her friend.

She didn't think, and instead had let her body jump into action relying on pure instinct. She had grabbed the first bit of clean clothing she could find, grabbed her purse and booked it to the train station. Her commute to the hospital had felt painfully long, it didn't help that Dilandau wasn't specific with what was wrong. All he had told her was Hitomi had cut herself and had lost a significant amount of blood.

Her stomach growled again, she really needed to eat. She sat upright and looked at her waiting room companion, "Want to go grab a bite to eat at the cafeteria?" He wasn't too hungry himself. It had been a strange day for himself.

"You go ahead, I'll meet you there later," he told her, "I need to find a new shirt." He gestured to his top, which resembled something more akin to a crop top now.

"Oh...oh!" She had completely forgotten about his state of dress. "I think I saw a sign for the gift shop nearby. I imagine they probably have some clothing there."

While Yukari went off to grab some food, Dilandau found himself perusing the small selection of clothing at the gift shop. His frustration intensified the longer he stared at his options, or rather lack thereof. The shirts were all brightly coloured or just flat out screamed "tourist." He finally settled on a white shirt with a minimalistic graphic depicting the picturesque Kamakura bay. It wasn't his ideal choice, but it would have to do.

After Dilandau finished up at the shop, he changed out of his ripped and blood stained shirt and proceeded to meet up with Yukari. "Nice shirt," she commented, surprised at his choice.

"It was very slim pickings." Yukari cracked a smile, she could only imagine what the other options were.

"Ah huh...sure" she teased him, "So what else did you get?"

Dilandau raised a brow, "Nothing, I only needed the shirt." Yukari let out a small sigh.

"You're hopeless, you know?" She took a long swig of her drink, "C'mon, we're gonna get Hitomi something to cheer her up."

When visiting hours resumed, Yukari and Dilandau made their way to Hitomi's room. Upon their arrival, they discovered that Hitomi was still asleep. "We should probably go," Dilandau felt uneasy being in the small room. The sounds of the monitoring equipment and the aroma of disinfectant still lingering in the air brought up some long repressed memories. He clenched his fist tightly to distract his mind from the memories of his own medical torture.

Yukari stood frozen in place, watching as her friend slept peacefully. Perhaps he was right, Hitomi had been through a lot for one day. She didn't feel right about leaving things between them the way she had earlier. She wanted to understand her better and to apologize for being apparently so oblivious to her friend's inner turmoil. "You're probably right…"

Yukari slowly turned around, and departed the room. Dilandau stood for a moment, still lost in his thoughts. His gaze drifted from the gift he held in his hand to the empty bedside table. He walked over and placed the bouquet of ajisai and shobu flowers which had been wrapped in a sakura patterned paper.

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A/N: So I got a little writer's block writing this chapter. I know, how could I get writer's block when I already knew what was gonna go down? Well, that's just the thing! I knew where Ineeded to go, but getting there was the challenge. This chapter needed so much work! I also wanted to try and foreshadow things better… so that later events don't seem out of character… Then there was also the research I had to do. Man oh man, so much research!

For those of you wondering why I didn't just use the english names for the flowers, well I wanted to be more authentic. That and I think those flowers have a different symbolism/meaning in Japan than the western world. And if you are wondering (and to save you the trouble) ajisai are hydrangea and shobu are iris.

I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out. I'm hoping I can get the next one done this week. But we shall see.