I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh
Oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh
Oh
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh
by The Foo Fighters
Chapter 10: Best of You
For the remainder of the week, Hitomi did whatever she could to avoid running into Dilandau in her home. She kept to herself, only leaving the safety of her bedroom for the necessities of life. Part of her wished that she could have gone to school to escape, but as it was still golden week classes wouldn't resume until the following Monday. It wasn't that she missed attending school, it just offered a much needed distraction for her mind.
She was afraid to be alone with her thoughts. She worried her mind would spiral out of control and she would do something stupid again. She couldn't be sure if the pills or if it was her daily conversations with Yukari that were helping her cope. She so desperately wanted to tell her friend the truth about everything, especially now. Her motivations would have been more understandable, Hitomi thought. Instead she was left to share with her the same tale she had spun for the doctor at the hospital.
Yukari was initially put off after hearing the tale. She was hurt that her best friend had kept a secret boyfriend from her. Once she had processed everything after hearing her friend struggle to help her understand, she wanted to find this Tatsuya who had broken her friend's heart. He needed to know the pain he had inflicted. Hitomi insisted that wouldn't be necessary, that he would never come to visit again. It was over and she was ready to be done with him.
What Hitomi didn't realize is that it wasn't just herself that was struggling in the wake of her failed attempt to take her life. Dilandau battled his own inner demons as he tried to come to terms with it all. He too kept to himself after her return from the hospital. He was struggling to understand why it still bothered him and why it even bothered him at all.
Dilandau felt his phone vibrate in his pocket for the third time that morning. He frowned, choosing to ignore it yet again. He already knew who it was and he had no desire to deal with them. Instead he leaned back in his seat at the kitchen table and took another sip of his black coffee. Again he felt the short buzz of his phone and he again ignored it, keeping his attention on the mug of coffee cradled in his hand.
He inhaled the rich, full-bodied aroma of the coffee. He found the act to be oddly relaxing. The feeling would not last much longer as he felt the long series of vibrations coming from his pocket. He sighed and reluctantly reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. He glanced at the incoming name and frowned. It was exactly whom he thought it was.
His thumb hovered over the end call icon as he debated whether to answer or not. He could easily hangup, but he knew they wouldn't give up. They would keep calling or worse send someone to fetch him personally. Answering would be easier, he concluded. He tapped the green answer icon and brought the phone to his ear. "What do you want?" he answered in a low growl.
"Albatou-san," a pleasantly cheerful, feminim voice on the other end spoke, "Kaichou-san would like to know why you haven't been checking in."
Dilandau rolled his eyes. He was really not in the mood to deal with them. "I've been busy." he answered sharply.
"He is aware of that, I can assure you Albatou-san. He has scheduled a meeting for tomorrow afternoon with you. I have already sent you the details-"
"I'm not going!" He interrupted.
"I'm afraid you don't have much say in the matter, Albatou-san. If you do not show up, Kaichou-san will send them to fetch you." Dilandau's eyes narrowed.
"He wouldn't dare." He said, calling their bluff.
"They have already been briefed on the situation. If you do not show up at the scheduled time, they will be there to escort you." He moved the phone away from his ear and looked at it in disbelief. "Albatou-san?" The voice asked.
Dilandau groaned and brought the phone back. There was no avoiding it. "Fine. I'll be there."
"Kaichou-san will be delighted to hear that. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow." The call ended promptly. Dilandau scrolled through the series of missed messages. His brows furrowed together when he took note of the time for his appointment. He would have very little time to get there after classes finished the next day.
The following morning Dilandau awoke nearly half an hour before his alarm was set for. He had been restless the majority of the night. He was dreading the meeting scheduled for later that day. It wasn't nerves that had kept him from sleeping peacefully, but rather he didn't want to have to explain himself.
Dilandau went about his morning by first changing into his school uniform. He frowned as he buttoned up his shirt. He really wasn't looking forward to explaining the uniform either. He debated packing a change of clothes, but decided against it. There simply wouldn't be enough time.
As he ate his breakfast, his eyes caught the time. He hadn't heard Hitomi's alarm go off yet. He put down his coffee and made his way up the stairs. He paused for a moment outside her bedroom door, debating whether to knock or just enter. He opted for the latter as he couldn't hear her moving around the room.
Hitomi was torn from her slumber abruptly, "Get up." She heard Dilandau order as he then proceeded to toss her uniform at herself. Groggily she sat upright, her mind still processing what was going on. "You have 30 minutes to be ready." he left her room, closing the door behind himself.
Hitomi rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked down at her uniform. She wasn't sure if she was actually ready mentally to return. At least my sleeves will cover the bandages, she thought to herself. "I wonder what Yukari told them...surely she must have come up with something…" she wondered quietly to herself. Maybe this is a bad idea...maybe I should give myself one more day, start fresh tomorrow… She heard a loud knock on her door followed by Dilandau telling her to hurry up. She let out a heavy sigh and proceeded to get dressed.
Hitomi avoided making any sort of eye contact with Dilandau as she went about her morning routine. A part of her was still angry with him for saving her life and for not moving out as he had planned. Her brows knitted together as she tried to figure him out. What was his plan now? He had gotten his revenge on her, what more could he possibly want? Maybe… she quickly glanced over to watch him rinse his dishes in the sink. Does he feel guilty? She shook her head and looked away, no, this is Dilandau. I don't think he's capable of that. But...it would explain things…
"Come on, I'm driving you today." Dilandau declared, pulling his keys from his pocket.
"I'm fine taking the train-"
"It wasn't a question." Dilandau interrupted her. "Yukari insisted." Hitomi went to argue back, but he had already grabbed her school bag and was out the door.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
As Hitomi approached her school, she tugged at the cuffs of her blazer ensuring they covered her bandaged wrists. She came to a stop as she approached the gate. Her school seemed so daunting to her. A wave of dread washed over her as she crossed the threshold. There was no going back now. I just need to make it through the day, she told herself as she pressed forward.
"Hitomi!" Yukari delightfully called out as she spotted her friend. Hitomi barely had time to react before she was ambushed by her friend. Yukari threw her arms around her, embracing her tightly. "I'm so happy you actually came!"
"I didn't have much choice." Hitomi grumbled quietly.
Yukari loosened her grip, giving Hitomi some room to breathe. "I'm just glad you're here." She clasped her hands around Hitomi's, giving them a little squeeze. "Don't worry about having to explain anything, I've taken care of that." Apprehensive, Hitomi struggled to ask what exactly Yukari had told the others. "Oh, I just told them you and Di-kun were doing some cleaning and accidentally cut yourself when you the large mirror you dropped shattered." Hitomi stared blankly at her friend.
"Seriously? That's what you told them? And they believed it?" It seemed a little outlandish, even by Hitomi's standards.
"Yup! Well when Di-kun backed up the story, they had no reason to doubt it." Hitomi let out a sigh and hung her head, I suppose it's better than the truth… "You should join us for lunch today."
Hitomi was pulled from her thoughts, "Oh, I don't know if I'm ready for that… plus I have a bit of catching up to do…" Yukari looked up sullenly at her, giving her a pleading look.
"Please join us Hitomi, it's been so long already…"
"I know, but maybe tomorrow? I really want to get caught up."
"Alright, alright." Yukari huffed, "Promise then? Tomorrow?" Hitomi smiled and agreed.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
For the afternoon, Yukari and Dilandau found themselves paired up as lab partners in the chemistry lab. Neither seemed too thrilled until the demonstration began for setting up the bunsen burners. The sparking of the flint and the igniting of the gas to produce a glorious flame had Dilandau's full attention. He looked on, his eyes captivated as the flame danced and flickered.
After the demonstration was completed, it was their turn to set up the station appropriately. Dilandau's face beamed with delight, he was going to enjoy this class immensely. Before Yukari could utter a single word, Dilandau had already gone about setting up the burner. He flicked the flintstone starter a few times, enjoying the view of sparks exploding before his eyes.
Yukari eyed him warily, his sudden fascination with the device put her on edge. She hesitantly tried to reach for the starter, suggesting she take the lead for the lab assignment. Dilandau clutched the device possessively and kept it out of her reach. He had finally found something he enjoyed that the school had to offer. He wasn't about to surrender it to anyone.
When she backed off, he brought the flint started to the burner, slowly turning the gas on. With great focus he flicked the starter and watched in awe as the explosion of sparks ignited the gas. It was beautiful and glorious, but a little too small of a flame for his liking. He opened the gas valve further to feed the little flickering flame. Dilandau licked his lips in anticipation as the flame began to grow.
It didn't take very long for Dilandau to get too carried away and deviate from what had been assigned. The flame had grown out of control and triggered the fire school's fire suppression system, which promptly rained water down on the student body.
"I can't believe you Di-kun!" Yukari scolded her lab partner after they had safely evacuated the school. It didn't bother him one bit as he had enjoyed every moment of setting their lab station ablaze.
"Yukari!" Hitomi called out as she spotted her friend. "Do you know what happened?" Yukari let out a laugh. Oh did she ever know! She simply looked over her shoulder and gestured towards Dilandau.
"Someone got a little carried away during our chemistry lab." her tone was saturated with annoyance. Hitomi glanced in the direction her friend gestured and raised a brow. Somethings never change do they?
Dilandau wrung out his dampened blazer a few times before finally giving up to check his phone which he had felt vibrate a few times in his pocket. He frowned, they wanted to move up the meeting and to bring along Hitomi Kanzaki. Shit, he thought, they really knew more than he suspected. He looked up from his phone and put it back in his pocket. "Kanzaki, we're going." He announced suddenly.
"W-what?" Hitomi stammered. "I have track practice-"
"Don't worry Hitomi-chan!" Yukari's face beamed. I guess all my hinting around Di-kun is paying off! She thought delightfully. "There won't be track practice today. I mean given the current situation," she forced a laugh and playfully shoved her friend towards Dilandau. "You two get out of here, go get some coffee or dessert or something!" Hitomi gave her friend a look of suspicion, what was she up to? "Honestly, Hitomi, just go have some fun! Enjoy your early afternoon off! I'll see you tomorrow okay!" Yukari gave her a reassuring smile and patted Hitomi on the back.
Hitomi followed Dilandau to his car, which he had left in a nearby parking lot. As she sat down in the passenger seat, she noticed Dilandau had seemed distracted. Something was aggravating him. He remained silent for the duration of the drive, as did Hitomi. That was until she noticed he missed their turn off. "Dilandau," she finally said, breaking the icy cold silence. "You missed the turn."
"I need to go somewhere else first." He answered, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
"You could just drop me off at the next train station,"
Dilandau let out a long breath, "Your presence was requested." He didn't want to get into details. It would take far too much time to explain.
Hitomi felt her heart begin to race, "Where are you taking me?" she asked nervously. "Who wants to see me?"
Dilandau frowned, she was asking too many questions that he wasn't at liberty to answer. That was for them to decide what she needed to know. "My...employer wishes to meet you." He didn't like using that term as he really didn't work for him. But he also didn't want to refer to him as his benefactor.
"Why? What for?" Hitomi tried to press him for more answers, but Dilandau refused. He turned onto a sideroad that had been barely visible as it was surrounded by a thick forest of trees. Hitomi's apprehension only further increased and soon turned into panic when she realized her phone had been in her school bag, which sat in the backseat out of reach. If she was in danger, she wouldn't be able to call for help.
"You'll find out soon enough." He pulled up to what appeared to be a large, sprawling ryokan that was hidden deep within the woods. "Come on, let's get this over with."
Hitomi anxiously exited the vehicle. "Unmei no Kotai Ryokan?" She read the sign aloud. "You work at a Ryokan?" She looked at him confused. She was having a hard time picturing him working any sort of job, but working at this place would have been at the bottom of the list. There was a sense of calm and peacefulness in the air. It was such a contrast to everything she ever associated with him. What are you hiding? She wondered as she followed him inside.
After they entered the building, they changed out of their shoes and into a pair of slippers provided. "Welcome back Albatou-san," The young nakai greeted him, bowing deeply. Her dark hair had been tied back neatly in a bun that rested above the nape of her neck. She wore plain, sky blue kimono with a pale yellow kojitsunagi patterned obi. "Kaichou-san will see you right away." She gestured to the hallway to the left. "Kanzaki-san, please follow me." She led Hitomi down the opposite hallway, showing her to an unoccupied room.
Hitomi entered the room, and took a seat at the zataku. The nakai proceeded to pour her a cup of tea from the pot that was already set on the table. "Kaichou-san shouldn't be too long. In the meantime, please make yourself comfortable." She bowed and departed the room, quietly sliding the door closed. Hitomi stared at the cup of tea deep in thought. Her mind was all over the place trying to solve the mystery that was Dilandau. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.
Feeling agitated, she rose from her seat and paced around the room. She certainly wasn't going to find any answers by sitting still. She made her way over to the door, sliding it open just enough to peer out. She wasn't being guarded nor had she been told to stay put. It was time she did some investigating of her own.
She slipped on her slippers and quietly walked down the long winding hallway, finding her way out to the engawa. The ryokan appeared normal enough, nothing seeming amiss. She crossed her arms, feeling slightly disappointed that her search had turned up nothing. Just as she was about to turn around to head back to her room, she heard the sounds of two young men sparring in the courtyard.
Her interest piqued, she silently moved closer to get a better look. One of the voices sounded oddly familiar. She peered out across the courtyard to see the owners of the voices. They belonged to two young men both dressed in matching dark blue kimono and black hakama, each wielding a bokken. Hitomi gasped as she came to recognize one of the men. It couldn't be… she couldn't recall his name, but she recognized him as one of Dilandau's Dragonslayers. He was the one that had been captured by Allen and his men in Freid all those years ago.
She stumbled backwards, unable to believe the sight before her. "Ya baka!" Dilandau shouted at the two boys sparring.
They stopped promptly, both turning and bowing deeply in unison. "Forgive us Dilandau-sama!" Dilandau approached, his arms folded across his chest as he then proceeded to scold them for sparring in the courtyard.
Hitomi was so entranced by the surreal scene unfolding before her, she failed to hear the footsteps of the Kaichou as he approached. "Some things never change, do they Hitomi?" It was a kind and gentle voice that she thought she would never hear again.
Hitomi froze in place and her eyes went wide as she instantly recognized it. It's not possible… Slowly she turned to face the owner of the all too familiar voice. She looked upon the man before her, fully taking in his form. He donned a black haori with a gold embroidered kikkou pattern at the base, which he wore over a simple but luxurious black kimono. His steel blue hair was worn a simpler style, pulled back and bound with a black silken tie. His warm, mahogany eyes hadn't changed, which had an almost instant calming effect on her.
"F-Folken..." She was in complete disbelief. So much so, that she reached out her hand to touch him. She had half expected it to pass through him, but was pleasantly surprised when it came to rest firmly against his solid chest. "How?" She looked up at him, her eyes full of wonder. The last time she had seen him, he had been impaled by a fragment of his own sword and had fallen to his death.
Folken took her hand in his own, he had much to explain. "Walk with me and I shall tell you all you need to know." She nodded as her voice had failed her and followed him closely. "I can't explain fully the logistics as to how we came to be here on your world. What I do know is that it was a power greater than we could possibly fathom. Simply put, it was Fate."
"Fate?" She repeated the word, confused by what he could possibly mean.
"When Dornkirk utilized you to activate his Fate Alteration Engine, he didn't just alter the fate of the people but rather he had awoken an old Atlantean God, Fate itself." he paused briefly to see if she was still following him. She simply gave him a look which told him to continue. "Dornkirk had meddled with fate too much, trying to control it, to behind it to his will. I do not know how long after that final battle it was, but we all found ourselves here, in this very ryokan. Fate had brought us here to make this our new home."
Although Hitomi had been paying attention to every word, she still had so many other questions. "So Fate brought you back from the dead?" Folken nodded silently, "But what about Dilandau? He wasn't exactly dead from what Allen had explained. He was an alternate persona of his sister Celena…" her brows had knitted together as she tried to make sense of everything.
Folken looked skyward, recalling his knowledge of Dornkirk's fate experiments. "I don't know all the details about the experiments performed on her. But I can assure you they began as two individual entities. Dilandau was his own person beforehand just as Celena was. Only he knows the true details of what occurred." His eyes drifted to the silver haired boy who was still scolding his former subordinates.
"I have theorized that the merging of their spirits is what had attributed to his constant instability. Their conflicting personas turned them into a prefect killing machine. His will to live and thrive is what made him the dominant persona. It's possible that the true purpose of Celena was to keep his emotions at bay..." he paused to observe Hitomi, who stared blankly at Dilandau across the courtyard. Her mind was struggling to process the information Folken had unloaded on her. It was a lot to absorb in such a short span of time. "We are forever in your debt, Hitomi."
She turned to look at him, "Why would you think that? What did I do?" She glanced back at Dilandau and the two other boys, recalling how it had been her teaching Van how to dowse with her pendant that had caused so many of their deaths. "If anything, I feel like I'm to blame for them dying in the first place…"
Folken smiled gently and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It was your wish to change fate that set everything in motion for Fate to be reborn. Had you not made that wish, none of us would be here. We are alive today, all because of you." Hitomi brought a hand to her head and collapsed to her knees feeling utterly overwhelmed. "Are you alright?" Folken knelt down next to her, genuinely concerned.
"I'll be fine…. I think… It's just a lot to take in…" her mind was running a mile a minute, piecing together every bit of information. She gazed down at her hands, which rested open faced on her lap. She couldn't help but wonder just what sort of role Fate had been playing in her life. She gave her head a little shake, she had questions that she needed answers to. She would dwell on Fate later. "Folken, did you know about Dilandau seeking me out?"
"Not at first." He answered, "I had suspected he was hiding something when he refused my offer to stay here after the fire at his apartment. I did not know what his ulterior motive was for seeking you out, however I did warn him not to cause you any harm."
Hitomi had to hold back a laugh. If he only knew the mental anguish Dilandau has put me through… she itched near the bandage on one of her wrists as she reflected on the psychological damage that had been inflicted on her. Folken caught sight of the bandage and inquired about her injury. Hitomi let out a heavy sigh, she didn't want to relive that moment again.
She looked away from him, "I tried to kill myself." she eventually revealed. "My life hasn't been easy this past year. Dilandau showing up wanting revenge didn't help either." She inhaled deeply to try and keep her composure. She hated reliving this part of her tale. "I thought… I thought if I wished hard enough that Van would save me. That he'd hear me… instead it was Dilandau who brought me back to Gaea." Folken's eyes narrowed, that's why he borrowed the pendant… What did you do, Dilandau? "He brought me to Fanelia. I saw Van. Did you know he's getting married?" Her voice began to waver under the weight of the pain she felt recalling that fateful encounter.
Folken felt torn as he watched Hitomi slowly begin to crumble before him. He wished he could tell her what she desired to hear, but Fate had told him otherwise. "Yes, I know," he finally answered. "I know it must have been painful to learn that."
"You don't even know just how painful it was… it… it broke me… Van was supposed to be my saving grace… I loved him…" she closed her eyes to hold her tears at bay. She was so tired of crying. She longed to be over the heartache and to just be able to move on with her life. "I… I didn't want to feel the pain anymore… I just wanted everything to end…"
Folken pulled her into his warm embrace. He couldn't bear to watch her suffer alone. He understood her pain, he knew it all too well. The day he learned his mother had died of a broken heart, it nearly broke him too. The guilt of her death had always weighed heavily on him. She didn't need to die, but he had been a coward and fled from his fate. "We can't change our pasts, but we can forge our own futures. Don't let the past define you. Learn from it, but do not be a slave to it. Never forget that, Hitomi."
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A/N: Holy damn! I know I say this in every chapter, but this took a lot of work. This was originally 2 separate chapters, but it just didn't make sense to cut this in half. I don't know if I was just being lazy before, or I just wanted to get something out quick to appease my readers when I originally wrote it. But here we are! I'm actually quite happy with all the changes I've made. I'm especially pleased with my explanation for how the Zaibach crew ended up on earth. I feel like my previous explanation was just such a cop-out and severely underdeveloped.
The next couple chapters are gonna take awhile to do, so don't hold your breath. I'm in the process of writing a brand spanking new chapter altogether! This new chapter is 100% needed to set the ground work for future events… plus, more character development! The following chapter after that needs a major overhaul. I have some general ideas for changes… I may even split it up, which is something I should have just done in the first place! But as frustrating as this whole process has been, I have been enjoying myself. It's been an interesting experience to rework this fic into what it really should have been.
Any ways, hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Feel free to leave a comment or review. I do enjoy hearing your feedback :)
