Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away

It just takes some time

Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey

You know they're all the same

You know you're doing better on your own so don't buy in

Live right now

Yeah, just be yourself

It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else

It just takes some time

Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time

Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Hey

Don't write yourself off yet

It's only in your head you feel left out

Or looked down on

Just do your best

Do everything you can

And don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say

It just takes some time

Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright

It just takes some time

Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright

By Jimmy Eat World

Chapter 13: The Middle

Hitomi awoke the following morning feeling tired and exhausted. She had spent most of the night tossing and turning. Her mind didn't seem to want to shut off and instead wanted to run around in circles. She had so many choices put before her that she was feeling overwhelmed with which to deal with first. Folken's offer was at the forefront of her mind. He had told her there was no rush, that the offer would always be there.

She had spent much of the night contemplating the choice. She didn't understand why it seemed so difficult to find an answer. Before Dilandau had walked into her world, she had become accustomed to the silence of her home. She didn't enjoy the emptiness of her home, but it had become her normal. But that silver haired devil had come in like a wrecking ball, shattering what her concept of normal was.

His sudden absence from her home brought her back to those dark days following the accident. Everything seemed too quiet. She didn't miss him, she told herself, she just missed the feeling of not being alone all the time. She rolled over onto her side and stared lazily at her alarm clock, which had read 05:55. It was nearly time for her to get up. She sighed and reached over to the clock, turning the alarm off. Might as well get up...

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Yukari anxiously awaited for Hitomi to show up for lunch. She had hoped her friend had seen the flyer, but as Hitomi hadn't bothered to call or text, she couldn't be certain. She glanced at her watch while impatiently tapping her fingers on the table. C'mon Hitomi… where are you? There was much she wanted to discuss in regards to the festival. She had a plethora of potential costume ideas she had already thought of. The rest of their other friends already had made up their minds and were eager to get to work on them.

"Sorry I'm late," Hitomi hurriedly apologized as she took a seat next to Yukari. She quickly scanned the group, noticing they were missing someone. She leaned towards Yukari, asking her quietly, "No Dilandau again?"

"Apparently he has one hell of a hangover still." Yukari shrugged her shoulders slightly, "So, you never got back to me about the festival? You in?" Hitomi shifted uncomfortably, she hadn't made up her mind yet. "If you're worried about not having anything to wear, Ayaka's oba-san owns a Specialty Kimono shop and they do rentals too! She said she'd give us a special discount too." she said with a wink as she gently nudged Hitomi with her elbow.

"I don't know Yukari…" she began, glancing up at their friends who were more already discussing amongst themselves their costume ideas. She wanted to match their excitement, but she could feel something deep within herself holding her back.

"It'll be fun, I promise." Yukari gave her a reassuring smile, "We don't have to stay for the whole thing either. We could just go play some games, grab some food and leave. I promise I won't make you stay longer than you want, okay?"

Hitomi mulled over Yukari's proposal. Would it really be so bad? She wondered as she weighed her options. Not going would mean spending yet another night alone. Her brows furrowed together, she was getting tired of being alone in her home. Going would mean leaving her safety net, immersing herself in a large social gathering and potentially having a good time. Maybe it is time I finally got out… She turned to face her friend, "Okay, I'll go as long as you promise to keep your word."

Elated, Yukari grinned from ear to ear. "You have my word," she placed a hand over her heart, "I promise as soon as you want to leave, we'll leave." with Yukari's agreement to the terms, Hitomi agreed to join her and the rest of their friends in their post-class shopping excursion.

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The group of friends stood outside the kimono shop staring in awe at the elaborate display of kimonos presented in the storefront windows. The eye catching colours, patterns and luxurious fabrics had them all feeling slightly intimidated about going in. Yui leaned towards Ayaka, her eyes still glued on the window display, "Are you sure we can even afford to rent these?" she asked quietly.

"Not those ones!" she laughed and gestured to the windows, "My Oba already has a selection put aside for us that's in our price range." Ayaka led the group inside, heading straight for the cash desk to speak to the sales associate.

Hitomi couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by the shop. The majority of the kimonos or yukatas she had worn in the past had always either been hand-me-downs or gifts. This would be a whole new experience for her.

She took a seat next to Yukari on the ivory, chaise lounge while they waited their turn to try on the yukatas that had been set aside for them. She hadn't thought much about what she wanted to wear, but fashion hadn't always been much of a concern for her. Instead she was leaving the ultimate decision in Yukari's capable hands.

When it was finally their turn to try on the yukatas, Hitomi reluctantly followed her friend's lead. "Do you ladies have anything particular in mind?" the change room attendant asked as she led the two over to the clothing rack, which held a vast assortment for them to choose from.

"We need something to match these masks," Yukari quickly pulled out her phone, opening up her photo gallery to show to the attendant the images of two different masks. The first image was a raven black, half-face neko mask with red and gold accents, "This one is for me and..." she swiped her finger across the screen to change the photo, "this one's for her." The image displayed a porcelain white, half-face kitsune mask with elegant gold and silver markings adorning it.

"Beautiful!" The attendant claimed, awed by their elegance. "I think I should have just the thing." She went straight to work pulling a few different yukatas for the two of them, hanging them up in their changing stalls.

When the heavy, ivory curtain was closed behind her, Hitomi began to examine her options. The first one she knew she wasn't even going to bother trying. She held it up to her body, and cringed at her own reflection. The design was an array of bright pink, yellow and green flowers. Her plan wasn't to stand out at the fair, but rather to blend in.

She moved onto the next one, which was more subtle in design being a red and gold shippo pattern. She slipped it on over her uniform and examined her reflection, looking at herself from various angles. She took it off, setting it aside, deciding it had some potential.

She picked up the third and final option given to her. Upon first glance it appeared promising. The fabric was a delicate jade green with silver and gold nanten pattern. It was simplistic, but elegant. This one she decided she would actually put forth the effort to try on.

"C'mon Hitomi," Yukari called from the otherside of the curtain, "The suspense is killing us!" She eagerly awaited to see what her friend had chosen and couldn't wait to show her the yukata she was wearing. The yukata she wore was black with ornate ougi varying in shades of red, gold and white. Holding her ensemble together was a vibrant red obi.

"I'll be out in a minute!" Hitomi replied as she hurriedly tied the rich yellow obi. She took a deep breath before grabbing the curtain and pulling it open. She received mixed reactions about her choice, but she had expected that. Where most of her friends were more likely to opt for the more eye catching designs, Hitomi found herself to be more reserved. Ultimately she was happy with her choice. She glanced briefly at her reflection in the mirror and found herself smiling at it. She felt elegant and beautiful in her chosen yukata, and in the end that's all that mattered to her.

After the group of friends had finished their critiques of each other's choices, they finalized their rental orders with their attendant. The plan had been drafted and made, all the yukatas would be delivered to Ayaka's home the night before. The day of the festival they would all get together at her home to help dress each other before departing.

After leaving the shop, Hitomi and Yukari split off from the rest of the group to catch their train home. With all the excitement and distractions gone, Hitomi's mind found itself wandering back to Folken's offer once again. She stared off out the window of the train as she weighed the pros and cons yet again. Each time she thought about it, her list of cons seemed to dwindle further and further.

Yukari, noticing the dazed look of her friend, waved her hand in front of Hitomi's face, "Hey what's up?" She asked, catching her attention. "You're like a million miles away."

Hitomi shook her head, "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind…" she glanced briefly to Yukari then back out the window as she tried to figure out how to explain her dilemma. Deciding it would be best just to rip off the metaphorical bandage, she blurted out "I'm thinking of moving in with Satoshi for a while."

"What!?" Yukari gasped, hardly believing what she had heard. "Where did this come from!?"

"He offered to let me move into his Ryokan. At first I wasn't sure if I could, but… it would be nice to not come home to an empty house."

"I see… but this seems all a little sudden don't you think? I mean do you even know him that well?" Yukari felt slightly uneasy at the prospect. Hitomi had never mentioned Satoshi or Tetsuya until very recently. She was still grappling with the idea that her best friend had kept so many secrets from her.

"I know him well enough." Hitomi retorted. "I know I can trust him, if that's what you're worried about."

"Of course I worry about you." She shifted her body towards Hitomi, gently grasping her hand. "With everything that's happened, I just want to know you'll be safe."

I wish I could tell her the truth… Hitomi thought as she glanced over her shoulder. This would have been all easier if she only knew… "I just need you to trust me on this." I just can't be alone with myself… she wanted to admit out loud. "Would it help if you saw the place for yourself?"

"Well… I suppose it wouldn't hurt…"

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After arriving at her home with Yukari in tow, Hitomi began to put together a duffle bag with a few changes of clothes. She hadn't decided yet how long she would stay, but she would give it a few days at least. Maybe that's all I need, just a few days to reset, she mused.

"Hey, I think our ride is here!" Yukari called from the entryway as she watched the sleek black car pull up in front of the house.

"Okay!" Hitomi replied before zipping up her bag. "I think I have everything…" she said quietly to herself. She grabbed her bag, swinging it over her shoulder and did a final quick scan of her room, making sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

As she made her way down the stairs she couldn't help but feel like a mixed bag of emotions. She had felt a rush of exhilaration after she had made the phone call to Folken, giving him her answer. Most of all, she was looking forward to having someone with whom she could openly talk to about her pain. She wouldn't have to beat around the bush, making up names or changing details to hide the true nature of the source of her turmoil.

However, as wonderful as she was starting to feel, her mind gave her a not so gentle reminder that there would be another individual that she would most certainly encounter at the ryokan; Dilandau. Her chest tightened and her stomach knotted itself as she recalled her last interaction with the silver haired boy. Her heart and mind were in conflict with each other in how she should feel about what had transpired. She physically tried to shake off the unwanted thoughts and feelings she was experiencing, telling herself to try to forget it all.

The drive to the ryokan had been quiet, even despite Yukari trying to pry information out of both Hitomi and the chauffeur. Hitomi had been much to distraction with the realization she would be living yet again under the same roof as Dilandau. It was the one small detail she overlooked when she had made her decision. She kept trying to convince herself it wouldn't be a big deal this time. She wouldn't be alone with him. They may not even cross paths with how large the ryokan was.

Upon their arrival, Folken had greeted them. Hiotmi, having forgotten to inform Folken she had created the pseudonym of Satoshi, cut him off before he could introduce himself. She gave him a look imploring him to go along with it. He quirked a brow but relented, he would go along with it. Without hesitation, he proceeded to show the two girls around the Ryokan. Hitomi, although she had already been there before, hadn't necessarily explored much of the grounds herself.

The tour had come to an end when they reached the room Hitomi would be staying in. She noticed it wasn't the same one she had previously used before. The room was more spacious and appeared to be more akin to a small apartment as opposed to a guest room. Folken took his leave, giving Hitomi and Yukari time to settle in.

"Well?" Hitomi asked, waiting for her friend's critique. Yukari had been unusually quiet and reserved during the tour. She was holding back, she could sense it.

"Well what?" Yukari asked with a visibly confused look.

"Your verdict." Hitomi clarified as she set her bag down by the dresser. She knelt down to open it and begin putting away her clothes.

"Oh… Oh! Well I suppose it gets a passing grade." Yukari answered, bringing a finger up to tap her chin, "It's not at all what I had pictured. And that Satoshi… You never mentioned how good looking he was." She gave Hitomi a suggestive wink. "I think I know the real reason why you wanted to move in."

Hitomi's cheeks began to burn with embarrassment at her friend's accusation. "N-no, it's nothing like that!" she retorted. "If anything, he's more like an older brother to me…"

"Ah-huh… I'm sooooooo sure." Yukari playful teased. "He does seem trustworthy enough… for now. But if he does anything to you, you let me know asap and I'll come beat his ass for you!" Hitomi tried to reassure her that it wouldn't be necessary. She did find it comforting to know she could always rely on Yukari to have her back. "Well I suppose it's getting late, I should be heading home."

Hitomi closed up the dresser drawers, having felt she organized enough for the night. "Did you need me to show the way out?" She asked as she prepared to stand up.

"Oh it's okay, I know the way. You just finish settling in. I'll be fine." Yukari didn't waste any time, grabbing her things before vanishing out the door. She hated leaving in such a hurry, but she had another task she needed to complete before leaving. She needed to track down a certain silver haired classmate of theirs. He hadn't responded to any of her texts or returned any of her phone calls.

As fate would have it, she didn't need to look too far. She found him approaching her from the very direction she was heading. She quickened her pace to meet him. "Hey just the person I was looking for!" Dilandau's face contorted to force a smile. He was not in the mood to deal with the irritating woman. He had been forced to mute his phone and toss it somewhere in his mess of a room after the dozens of messages she had left. "We need to talk." Her tone implied that she would be doing the talking and he would be forced to listen.

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A/N: Oh my goodness! This was such a struggle to write! For a number of reasons really. I had a bit of writer's block. With all the changes I made in previous chapters, I couldn't make up my mind with how I wanted things to play out going forward. A lot of the scenes were rewritten multiple times. I probably had about 3 different versions of the chapter written, lol!

But then I had a stroke of genius! Oh I'm very excited about what's gonna happen in either the next chapter or the following. I promise there will be more of Dilandau to come. I honestly felt bad about making this a very Dilandau-lite chapter. But I just couldn't find a good way to incorporate him into the chapter. So he only got a short cameo at the end. Apologies again!