Hello Everyone,
First off I want to thank everyone who has been following me since the beginning. To be honest, I wasn't expecting so many to like the stories that I wrote.
Some of you are probably wondering why this isn't an update… but I would like to explain.
Since my last post in 2016 a lot has happened.
I graduated from a school that gave me a paper that was practically worthless, I was already a failure but graduating sealed that feeling. I kept fighting because I found anime, dramas, and Kpop since I was 10. I grew up with those encouraging words and found an escape from my horrible life.
It wasn't too horrible that I didn't have food or a roof but the constant degradation and going back and forth on a relationship that is supposed to be unconditional between child and parent has tied a noose around my neck.
I am suffocating. It's like I'm in the ocean and I'm sinking but haven't drowned just yet. I bobby my way through the thing called LIFE.
I was born disable and I will die disable...sometimes I wonder why I was even alive. I may not understand how the world works but I fought as much as I could. As much as I can bear. Isn't it that enough?
I can say that I was healing. I stopped cutting, healed my scars and began to love myself.
For the last two years, it has been nothing but heartache for everyone. I can understand that. We lost loved ones, the world is splitting with hate and a generation that locked out all the new generations to find that American dream.
I lost my passion in art and in all honesty in my writing too.
I just lost my will but I kept fighting...fighting because I held out hope that things would get better.
But today… today I decided that I will stop fighting. A part of me still wants to fight but overall I'm just exhausted.
I am tired.
I am so tired and I just want to sleep. I don't know what the future will hold for a person like me.
I did everything right I guess. I wasn't a good person but I wasn't a bad person. So please don't hold it against me if I say goodbye first?
I'm leaving here first. I need to repair my mental mind. Maybe if I gather my wits for another fight I might continue the stories. For now I can't see myself finishing these stories at the moment.
I am tired.
Thank you so much for everything.
Please don't hate me too much.
