Disguised
Zuko was seated on the patio of his family's estate on Ember Island. Looking out over the ocean the sky was a glow with pinks and ambers, slowly fading away to the darker shades of night. The night was cloudless but a melancholy had settled over Zuko like a light rain.
"Hey guys, what's that?" Sokka called from somewhere on the north side of the house. Zuko turned his head, but he had to walk around to actually see what Sokka was shouting about. By the time he made his way around every one else had made their way their. Sokka was hanging out of a window, looking out over the island with the rest of the Gaang.
"It looks like a big fire," Katara said with a touch of worry in her tone.
"Do you think it's some kind of Fire Nation signal?" Sokka said sounding panicked. "Do they know we're here?"
"The Fire Nation has subtler ways of communicating than a giant fire Sokka, and I doubt they'd launch a full scale scorched earth assault on their own vacation homes," Suki said, laying a reassuring hand on Sokka's shoulder.
"Oh yeah," Sokka replied flatly as he accepted her logic. "So what is that then?"
Zuko saw what had excited Sokka. The northern sky was orange with a spot of false sunrise, even as the rest of the sky had given way to night's dark and twinkling starlight. "It's a bonfire," he said drawing every eye uncomfortably to himself, "it's probably to celebrate the start of one of the summer festivals. We have lot's of them in the Fire Nation."
"A festival huh?" Aang said with youthful excitement clear on his face, "Sounds like fun. We should go check it out."
"Yeah! I've had a hankering for fire flakes for days now," Sokka agreed licking his lips, his previous concerns thoroughly forgotten.
"Last time you ate fire flakes you complained that you couldn't taste anything for a week," Katara chided.
"I know that," Sokka shot back, "but now I've got a taste for them. They have a burn that you just can't get out of your head, but in a good way."
"I'm always down for fair food," Toph added her voice to the conversation.
"Are you sure it's safe to go?" Katara said, continuing to defend the cautious approach. "I don't know if it's the best idea to just walk the Avatar into a huge crowd."
"We got away with the play just fine," Toph countered.
"A group sitting still and focused on some dumb show isn't the same as a crowd pushing their way from stall to stall," Katara replied.
"I've gotten pretty good at blending in with the Fire Nation by now." Aang replied with a calm grin. "Katara, isn't their anything you'd like from the festival."
"Well..." Katara began thinking it over. "I would like some octopus. They don't cook it the same here, but it's still good and I haven't had any in a while."
"Then it's settled, festival food for all," Sokka said grabbing his bag and clambering out the window, Suki vaulting out gracefully behind him.
"Have fun," Zuko said, turning to head back to the relative peace of the ocean front.
"Will do," called Sokka already starting down the path to town, Suki right on his heels.
"I'm going to grab my hat," Aang said disappearing into the house.
"You're not coming?" Katara asked.
Zuko stopped, hesitating a moment before speaking. "I can't hide my scar with a hat. Besides I'm not really in the "festival mood"."
"You can keep your hood up. If anyone asks you can say it's a Prince Zuko costume from "The Boy in the Iceberg," Katara said.
Zuko stood with his back to her. She had been the least certain about going, why was she trying so hard to convince him now? He looked up at the beach with it's black sands. It was empty and quiet. Lonely. During his banishment he had often shut himself in his room, seeking isolation. Had it ever really done him much good?
"Come on Zuko, you're part of the group now. We want you to come with us." Katara entreated.
Zuko looked over his shoulder at her.
Suddenly Aang's voice broke the quiet. "All right I'm ready!" he yelled out as he leaped from a second story balcony and floated gently to the ground. "Let's go," he said as he started away from the house.
"I'll be their in a minute," Katara called over her shoulder to him before turning back to Zuko. "Come on Zuko, come with us. For me?"
Zuko looked at her, staight into her soft bright blue eyes. Somehow while he was looking her in the eyes he couldn't bring himself to refuse her.
"Ok. I'll get my hood." Zuko finally relented.
At the center of the festival a bonfire blazed high, thick logs stacked tall and square rising some twenty feet in the air. It blazed with tongues of orange fire which bathed the festival with flickering light. Several streets had been filled with stalls, wooden frames in all sizes draped in cotton and silk. The sounds of laughter and frustration both came from games of skill. Some people were scooping colorful fish from a long trough with paper paddles, rings were tossed, arrows were fired at targets, somewhere Toph was probably scamming a scammer. In the distance drums were beating out a surprisingly nuanced piece of music. The air was alive with the scents of food, dough was fried, fruit was smothered in chocolate, fire flakes were crisping, and poultry roasted on spits.
The streets were crowded with people. Zuko felt pressed in on all sides, he had seen fish at markets packed less tightly in crates. He pulled his hood down as far over his face as it would go and tried to find a still pocket in the current of people. Katara was just across the road at a takoyaki stand. Finally she turned around with the food in her arms.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," she said.
"It's fine," he said.
"Do you want some? The man at the stall gave me extra," she asked.
"Uh, sure," he said taking the octopus filled fried ball of batter she offered him. As he chewed he watched Katara pop one in her mouth and savor it. A warm looking smile played on her lips as she chewed and let out a satisfied hum. Zuko took another one, and somehow this one tasted better than the first. He continued to watch her as she looked around, taking in all the sights and sounds of the festival. To her this was largely new, but in Zuko the booths casting shadows in the fire light stirred feelings of nostalgia.
Suddenly his focus snapped back to Katara as she grasped his forearm.
"Look, masks," she said pointing. He followed her finger to an out of the way stall nestled between a chilled noodle booth and a kendama seller.
"With a mask on you won't need to worry about your scar," she explained.
"Right," Zuko said, failing to match her enthusiasm.
Katara gave him a concerned look. "Are you feeling ok?" She asked. "I know you're not really a people person, but you seem extra out of it today."
Zuko glanced away. He felt guilty. This was supposed to be fun but he was dragging the mood down. Maybe he should have insisted on staying behind after all.
"I'm fine," he said trying to brush away her concern.
"Ok," she said in a tone that said she wasn't satisfied with his answer, but wasn't going to push him here.
"Come on, let's just go see what masks they have," he said trying to barrel through the awkward atmosphere.
The booth was covered in masks like the scales of a paper mache carp. The stall was tended by an older man with a thin silver beard and mustache contrasting a thick pair of eyebrows. More hair poked out from around a pointed crimson hat that looked like it was hiding a bald spot.
"Well hey there," the shop keeper greeted them in a jovial tone, "looking for anything in particular?"
Katara looked him up and down for a moment with an uncertain look, which she quickly traded for a polite smile, "We're just browsing, thanks."
Zuko looked over the wall of masks, rows of birds, tigers, lizards, tengu, and spirits were all there represented in colorful paper and paint. Then his eyes chanced upon a familiar visage. A fanged oni painted in blue and white with a fierce grin or grimace depending on how one looked at it. The sight of it made his heart sink. He plucked it off its hook, it felt flimsy and light in his hand compared to the ceramic mask he had thrown aside so long ago.
"Hey," Katara called out, "is this the painted lady?"
The shop keeper turned to her with a broad grin. "Sure is! She's a local spirit from Jang Hui. Been down that way have you?"
"Yeah, I passed through there a little while back. I thought there was something familiar about you, are you related to Dock by any chance?" Katara asked.
"Oh yeah he, Xu, Bushi, and I are all brothers. I'm Shui, did they say anything about me?" he answered.
Katara stared at him as if he'd just said he was related to a three headed fish before she answered, "No... they didn't bring you up."
"Really, not even Bushi? He's usually a real chatterbox," Shui said looking contemplative.
"Anyway... I'll be taking this one," Katara said holding up the Painted Lady mask. The Painted Lady appeared to be a beautiful pale woman in stylized red make up that framed her features.
"And for you young man?" The shopkeeper said turning to Zuko, "I see you've been eyeing up the Blue Spirit."
"I'm not sure," he said turning away to try and conceal his scar.
"Come on, don't you want a complete set of villains from Boy in the Iceberg? After all you've already got a pretty good Zuko costume, even if your scar is on the wrong side," the shopkeeper pitched the mask.
"It's not..." Zuko began to protest before the will to argue deserted him. Then he let out a deflated, "whatever," before dropping a handful of coins on the counter and storming off through the crowd.
"Hey, Wait!" Katara called after him.
"Your boyfriends kind of a moody one isn't he?" Shui said watching him go. Katara hurriedly dropped her payment on the counter and dashed after him.
Zuko parted the crowd easily, rushing past the central bonfire. He felt the heat of it on his face, then his back, then the warmth faded away. The crowd thinned around him, then it disappeared. Before long he found himself alone on a beach. Not his families beach, but some other small private cove where the waves beat against the shore. Zuko sat in the dark sand, his arms wrapped around his knees. Zuko stared darkly at the Blue Spirit mask clutched in his hand.
For a while it was just him and the inky sea. Then a cloud parted and silver moonlight danced on the waves. He heard quick steady footsteps soft in the sand.
"Zuko," she said it in a soft breathless voice.
Zuko just sat silently glaring at the Blue Spirit. She sat beside him.
"That man didn't know what he was talking about when he said you were a villain," she said.
"But he was right though," he retorted.
"No," she said forcefully.
"Yes!" he shouted. "I was a villain. For so long and not just as Zuko hunting down the Avatar for the Fire Nation. I was the Blue Spirit too. The play had two villains and I was both of them."
"Aang told us about what you did as the Blue Spirit, how you saved him from Zhao," she said.
"It wasn't as noble as that." Zuko countered, " I wasn't trying to save him from the Fire Nation, I just needed to be the one who captured him. I was being selfish and showing just how few principles I had. And that's not all I did as the Blue Spirit. As a fugitive in the Earth Kingdom I attacked people and robbed them. I took what I wanted. Going from Prince to pauper, I hated it. I felt I deserved better, that I was better than others so I could just take what I deserved from them. I put on the Blue Spirit mask to hide my identity, and it let me be my true self. A proud, arrogant, entitled, monster.
"That's who I was. I tried to change. To let go of the Blue Spirit in Ba Sing Se with Uncle's help. The effort of it almost killed me, that's how entrenched the monster in me is. At the time I thought I'd succeeded. Until Azula offered me what I wanted in the Crystal Caves. Then I let the real me out again, the villain. I betrayed Uncle who had always stood by me, and I betrayed you too after you showed me kindness I didn't deserve."
"Maybe even now the Blue Spirit is still in me, just waiting for the right moment," Zuko grew silent after his rant, gazing down at nothing in particular.
Katara shifted in front of him, sitting on her knees. Sh reached out and lifted his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. Her eyes were fierce and deep, as blue and beautiful as the ocean.
"You've come a long way since then. You walked away from that life. You proved yourself to Aang, to Sokka, and to me. I won't pretend you were perfect, but I know you've left the Blue Spirit long behind you," with that she took the Blue Spirit mask from his hands.
She turned and hurled the Blue Spirit mask into the sea. The mask grew soft, the paint bled into the water, paper began to flake away.
Katara threw her arms around Zuko in an embrace that stretched on, lasting until the first blast of red lit up the sky, signaling the start of the fireworks show and the end of the festival.
Once again the Blue Spirit was washed away, swallowed by water.
