Sure enough, the group arrived back in Axel around noon. Better yet, the girls were acting more like themselves now, their typical nonsensical banter and rambling returning on their walk back home. While this development did put Kazuma more at ease, there was still a strange air around the group, as they'd often glance at him during their conversations with those same concerned looks they'd been wearing before.
They arrived at the guild hall, which was bustling with the usual activity expected just before winter set in. Parties of adventurers always wanted to get as much Eris as possible before the winter season started, as the monsters that followed were no joke, as Kazuma had learned the hard way.
Luna spotted them as they entered, waving at the returning group with a bright, friendly smile.
"There you four are! I was wondering when you'd get back." She greeted, so focused on Kazuma that she missed the withering glares the rest of his party were aiming her way. "So, was your dungeon quest successful?"
"Yes and no. The place is decked to the nines with traps on the lower levels." Kazuma replied, before presenting the pouch of loot he'd managed to snag. "This is all we could grab while we were escaping."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry! I knew I should have suggested a higher level party for that quest." The receptionist apologized, looking terribly apologetic. "Well, at least no one got seriously hurt, right?"
Kazuma chuckled nervously, mentally debating whether or not he should mention his agonizing death at the hands of the aforementioned traps. Before he could make up his mind, however, a hand landed on his shoulder, prompting him to turn and face Darkness, who offered him a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Oh Kazuma, would you mind grabbing us a table for lunch?" She asked politely, her grip surprisingly tight on his shoulder. "We just need to have a...brief discussion with Ms. Luna. It should only take a moment!"
"Uh...yeah, sure. I'll get us a table then." Kazuma replied, leaving his suspiciously quiet teammates to their business with the receptionist. He found an unattended table with ease, immediately taking a seat and scanning the menu for the daily special. Barely a minute passed before he glanced back in the direction of his party, immediately tearing away his attention from food entirely.
All three girls were facing away from him, but judging by the look on Luna's face, they were filling her in on exactly what occurred. The poor woman looked terribly pale now, occasionally glancing in his direction with a shocked expression. A minute passed before the girls suddenly departed from the conversation, all moving to join Kazuma at the table.
"Hey, guys." Kazuma greeted, attempting to sound as casual as possible. "Your talk with Luna go well? She kinda looks...shaken."
"Oh yeah, it went fine!" Aqua assured him, flashing her friend a wide, cheery smile. "We just needed to let her know how dangerous it was down there. Wouldn't want anyone else getting hurt, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Right." Kazuma agreed, still a bit put off by the goddess's tone and smile, one that seemed to be shared by Megumin and Darkness. They seemed...forced, almost. Still, it's not like they weren't already nutty enough, so this was pretty run of the mill for them. "Well, you guys still up for lunch?"
"Absolutely." Megumin assured him, immediately taking a seat across from Kazuma and snatching the menu from his hands with a mischievous smirk. "So, what do they have for today's special?"
The bizarre energy that had been hanging over the party since Kazuma's resurrection dissipated after that moment, like a cloud that had finally drifted away. They ate lunch, the girls ordering an absolute bounty of food as expected, and headed back to their mansion after the meal ended.
"Guess it really was nothing today." Kazuma thought to himself as he fished drying himself off after his bath, tying his towel around his waist. "I'm almost disappointed. It was kinda nice, having them not acting like...well...themselves."
In a weird way, it was almost reassuring knowing his party members were back to normal. As irritating and annoying as they could be, they were his friends. The people he trusted most, despite their shortcomings, as vast and many as they were.
Kazuma chuckled lightly to himself, before unlocking the bath room door and stepping out-
-promptly finding himself face first between Darkness's breasts.
Now, let the record state that Kazuma wasn't without his weaknesses. He was arrogant at times, less than selfless at others. But by far his biggest weakness came from a more...lecherous perspective.
As much as he hated it, there was one quip Aqua always used against him that he had no real comeback to; his status as a virgin. He was young, inexperienced, and incredibly eager to begin "learning", which is exactly what made opportunities like this so...frustrating.
"K-KAZUMA!" The crusader sputter, lunging back in tandem with the young man, forcing both adventurer's to opposite sides of the hallway. "I had no idea you could be so f-forward!"
"T-that was an accident!" Kazuma sputtered hastily, trying to keep his eyes off his teammate's fun bags, instead keeping his eye locked on her flushed face. "I didn't expect you to be right outside, you know! Give a guy some breathing room, will you?!"
"Ahh-of course, I apologize. I should have given you more space." Darkness huffed, hastily tearing her gaze away while trying to control herself. Kazuma was more than aware that his heated retort had been a turn on for the shameless masochist, and barely restrained an annoyed sigh before she turned to face him again. "As such I shall excuse your actions. Now, may I..?"
"Yeah, of course. It's all yours." Kazuma retorted, stepping to the side and allowing the crusader to enter the room. Just before the door closed, he smirked and managed to sneak in one last comment before the door shut. "Have a nice night...Lalatina~."
The door closed just in time to cut off Darkness's shout of indignation, which was more than enough to put the pep back into Kuzama's step as he started down the hall back towards his room. He only made it half of the way there before a new voice called out to him.
"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Megumin called, practically skipping up to him with a bright smile. "Are you ready for us to practice Explosion tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'm ready. You pick a proper target for your practice blast yet?" Kazuma asked, only to earn a bashful look from the diminutive arch wizard in response. "...you haven't even chosen a spot yet, have you?"
"W-well, no, but I was actually wondering if instead you wanted to...learn Explosion?" Megumin asked shyly, fiddling with her staff bashfully as she briefly averted her gaze. "I mean, you did say you wanted to learn at some point, and I'm always willing to teach you all I know!"
Kazuma pursed his lips, considering her words. He did say he wanted to pick it up someday, and there really was no time like the present...oh, damn it all.
"Fine, I relent!" He declared dramatically, smiling as he lifted his arms in a mock motion of irritation. "Tomorrow I shall take my first step on the path of Explosion, under you watchful eye, o' wise and enlightened Megumin!"
Megumin beamed at him, giggling in response to his theatrics and immediately suggesting that they meet at the front gate before they left in the morning. A few seconds later, they arrived at Kazuma's room. After bidding the short mage goodbye, Kazuma entered his room and sighed deeply. Finally, time to get some sleep after a long day.
Except there was a problem. A goddess shaped problem, in fact, that lay underneath his covers on his bed. Kazuma grimaced, not looking forward to having to deal with Aqua longer than he liked to, especially if she was in one of her more self-indulgent moods.
"Hey, Aqua." He called out, stalking forward with an irritated expression. "You mind telling me what exactly you think you're doing in my bed?"
Kazuma received no answer, and his frown deepened. Oh, so that's how this was gonna go. Fine. She wanted to play dirty? He could get dirty.
With little patience, Kazuma, tore back the blanket that had previously obstructed the goddess, fully prepared to unleash a torrent of unsavory and rude remarks about her when he paused, surprised by what he was seeing.
Aqua was fast asleep, already in her pajamas and drooling on one of his pillows, which was also tucked between her arms. She actually looked pretty cute, when she wasn't yelling at him for not spoiling her or bawling her eyes out. In fact, Kazuma was struck with the sudden, terrifying realization that at this very moment, Aqua looked beautiful.
He draped the blanket back over his friend silently, his previous irritation long gone due to the awkward thoughts now seeping into his mind. He exited the room as quietly as possible, begrudgingly resigned to the fact that he would be spending the night on the couch.
"Next time anyone tries to call me Scumzuma, I'll be more than happy to throw this back in their faces." Kazuma grumbled mentally, settling on the couch with a small huff. "Well, at least things seem back to normal. Whatever happened today with the girls really was weird, but at least it's all over now. Back to the insane hell that is my life."
With that thought in mind, Kazuma rolled over and tried his best to get some sleep, slightly content with the premise that everything was back to normal.
...Except things weren't back to normal. Not at all.
The first hint that things were still strange came when he and Megumin departed for their Explosion session. Once they made it a safe distance away from town, Kazuma asked if she wanted to go first, and show him how an Explosion was done properly.
To his surprise, she explained that today was about having him try it out, and that she could just practice tomorrow. That was definitely strange, but Kazuma momentarily justified it under the assumption she was just that pleased with him finally trying out Explosion.
After dumping the required points and acquiring the spell, Kazuma conjured his first ever Explosion. It wasn't half as impressive as any of Megumin's, probably because he stumbled over a word or two, but it was an immensely satisfying experience to start the day with...but something was still off.
Instead of keeping her eyes on the Explosion itself, Megumin stared Kazuma down through the entire process. When he finally met her eyes, he found himself looking at such genuine wonder and excitement, emotions that he almost only ever saw the girl express when it came to the actual Explosion itself. To have such visceral joy aimed his way was definitely strange. Still, as she half limp/half dragged him back to town after the spell, which was just as exhausting as it always looked, Kazuma's mind wandered curiously.
"Good to know Megumin wasn't faking at least." He mused, before his thoughts returned to her expression. "That look, though. I've never seen her like that. Just what was going through her head, I wonder?"
"You did really good today, Kazuma!" Megumin assured him, briefly taking him out of his thoughts. "I can't wait to compare what we do tomorrow!"
After some rest and a touch of healing magic, Kazuma found himself dragged away by Darkness, who declared that she needed a sparring partner. Under normal circumstances, Kazuma would have made a dozen excuses, or even used lurk to escape her grasp. However, he was just tired enough that he was willing to indulge her for a time, hoping that after his strength returned he'd be able to make his escape.
As it turns out, sparring with Darkness had it's perks. While she was still her weirdo, pain-loving self, sword fighting with her was actually kinda fun. When she could actually hit stuff, she was also one helluva good fighter. Unfortunately, Kazuma also now had the bruises to prove it.
The problem arose when Darkness ditched her sword, insisting that they should practice some hand-to-hand combat as well, just in case. Kazuma didn't have much hope that he could even pose a challenge in such an arena, but to his surprise, he actually managed to pin her...well, only once.
He leered over her, both fighters breathing heavily and sweating after their intense spar. Kazuma was still trying to catch his breath when he met Darkness's eyes, and nearly choked on air. Her expression, while one he was well familiar with at this point, was still (literally) breathtaking.
Eyes lidded, cheeks flushed. She stared up at him with those eager eyes, daring him to make the first move, to do something, anything to her before she had the chance to refuse. Worse yet, after a few seconds of being locked in eye contact, she spoke.
"Whatever will you do with me, Kazuma?"
Kazuma did choke that time, hastily rising to his feet and offering the crusader his hand. Her tone was too husky, too inviting. He needed to put some space between them fast, before he did something to re-earn the title of Scumzuma.
Darkness seemed disappointed at his hasty departure, but that was the least of Kazuma's problems as he made his way back hope, unaware that the strangest occurrence of the day was still to happen.
After entering the mansion, Kazuma almost instantly noticed something different about the halls. There was...a new scent lingering in the air. Several new scents, savory, sweet, and absolutely delectable. Following his nose, Kazuma found himself in the kitchen, where he discovered a certain water goddess, fast at work making what looked like several meals.
This...this started a wave of a dull panic in the young man's chest. Aqua was a terrible chef, not even touching upon the dangers of having her near sharp kitchenware and an open flame.
"A-aqua?" he sputtered in surprise, catching the goddess's attention. "What are you doing?"
"Ah, hey Kuzama!" Aqua greeted casually, turning off the stove and stirring one of the pots. "While you and the others were out, I decided to make myself useful and maxed out my Cook skill!"
Kazuma tried to process Aqua's answer, but it was near impossible. Aqua and useful shouldn't belong in the same sentence, and yet the smell of the surrounding air seemed to prove that she was indeed telling the truth. Suddenly, he found himself ushered to the nearby table, with the water goddess providing a bounty of foods before him.
After an awkward minute or so, mostly consisting of the unsettled adventurer glancing between the food and the all too eager looking goddess, Kazuma took a hesitant spoonful of broth from the stew Aqua made. He popped it into his mouth, waited...and nearly cried out in surprise.
"Kazuma-sama?" Aqua questioned softly, eyeing the young man with some trepidation. "Is-is it good?"
"Good?" Kazuma asked in return, turning his shocked gaze up to Aqua in absolute disbelief. "Aqua, I think this might be the best thing I've tasted since I came here. Hell, maybe the best thing I've ever tasted!"
Aqua's lips quirked up into a bright smile that Kazuma couldn't help but return. Look at that, the useless goddess just did the impossible; she did something truly useful.
"Thank you, Kazuma. I'm glad you like it!" She giggled, before her expression became slightly bashful. "I was really nervous about how you'd react, but...I thought you deserved something special after being so sweet to me last night."
Kazuma's smile faltered ever so slightly at those words, before everything fell back into place as he remembered the previous night and how he'd let her sleep in his bed. He tried to come up with something to say, some idle assurance it was no big deal or just a change of topic when Aqua spoke again, her eyes practically sparkling with something he didn't recognize.
"You can be pretty mean sometimes, you know...but...it's worth it when you decide to be sweet."
Kazuma's heart seized briefly at the statement, making this situation even more difficult to ignore the flush of his own face at such a statement, as well as stunting the formulation of a proper response.
Amazingly, his luck stat seemed to kick in once more as Darkness and Megumin both arrived back home at that very moment, absolutely overjoyed with the meal before them. Aqua seemed more than happy to walk them through each level of the meal, which allowed Kazuma to catch his breath and try and piece together just what was happening here.
"Is this some kind of elaborate prank?! Are they making fun of me, or buttering me up?" He wondered, frantic beyond belief. "What the hell is going on with these girls?!"
He didn't reach a satisfactory answer to his plight that evening, as after dinner ended the girls dispersed for the evening, leaving the young man to trudge back to his room, his thoughts clouded and jumbled.
"Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe...they're just in good moods?" He wondered aloud, pausing to kneel down and pet Chomusuke, who had scampered up to him with a playful purr. "I mean, we have been on a roll lately. Maybe they're just...enjoying the high life while it lasts."
This was enough to satisfy Kazuma for the moment, allowing him to continue his journey back to his room with a bit more pep in his step as well as Chomusuke trailing behind him. However, this newfound enthusiasm dissipated almost instantly as he rounded the last corner on the way back to his room, spotting all three of his party members standing outside in their respective nightwear.
"Uh, hey guys." He greeted hesitantly. "What are you doing outside my room?"
"Oh! Kazuma!" Aqua shouted, waving at him excitedly. "We were wondering if you would be up for a sleepover of sorts."
"A what?" Kazuma half screamed, absolutely put off by this sudden and unprompted idea.
"A sleepover, dummy." Megumin supplied, crossing her arms. "If you're gonna be weird about it, we don't have to. We just thought it'd be nice to all be together."
"We're together quite often." Kazuma replied, some of his typical sarcasm returning. "I don't know about you, but typically I like to take a break from seeing the same faces every few hours."
"Come on, Kazuma! We won't be any trouble, really!" Darkness attempted to assure him, but her flushed cheeks gave it away. "Us lying on the floor around you, forced to make due with the cold, hard wood like mere animals...so uncomfortable…"
"Goodnight, Darkness." Kazuma growled, dutifully ignoring the crusader's restrained moan as he brushed past the threesome and entered his room. "Goodnight, all of you."
"Kazuma, wait-!" Aqua tried, before the door closed in her face with a satisfying smack. Kazuma huffed slightly, stalking over to his closet and changing into his tracksuit while Chomusuke made herself comfortable on his bed.
"Know your place, fur ball." Kazuma warned, only receiving a yawn in response from the feline. Rolling his eyes, he moved to get into bed only to pause, instead picking up a ruffled pillow and frowning at it. This was the same pillow that Aqua had drooled all over. Fantastic.
With little fanfare, Kazuma marched back to the door, yanked it open, and tossed the pillow into the surprised goddess's face before shutting the door again. To his surprise, none of the girls had left, or attempted to stop him from throwing the pillow. All the same, Kazuma crawled into bed and did his best to get some proper rest. If things kept going the way they were, he was going to need it.
When Kazuma awoke in the morning, he felt surprisingly refreshed. He got out of bed, stretched, grabbed his clothes and moved to exit his room...only to find three sprawled out, sleeping women just outside his door.
Megumin and Aqua both had their own blankets and pillows, but Darkness (unsurprisingly) seemed to have taken nothing else to assist her in sleep. Kazuma was annoyed and confused, especially considering how early in the morning he was dealing with his friend's shenanigans, but as Aqua turned over in her sleep, a fresh vault of genuine concern opened as the young man gaped in disbelief and slight horror.
Because the water goddess was not wearing her pajamas.
And his pillow was firmly wedged between her thighs.
