So, I know this fanfic is usually much more light-hearted compared to some of my other stories, such as Feelings and A Lifetime of Whiskey, but I've had a few individuals approach me about incorporating Mei-Li's and Carlos's experiences growing up with parent with PTSD, per some of my conversations in Future. So, this next chapter is exploring that idea, as discussed in Chapter 4 of Future.
Melendez and Lim sat on the edge of their bed, Lim with her face buried in her hands, and Melendez rubbing her back soothingly. Several moments of silence passed before Lim finally broke it, "What are we going to tell her, Neil?" Lim whispered.
Melendez took a deep breath and answered, "We have to be honest with her, but keep it friendly for a five year old, I suppose."
"Neil, if I had any idea that would happen while you were out getting diapers and cough medicine…"
"Shush Audrey," Melendez hugged her, "It's not your fault. You didn't know Mei-Li's coughing would trigger you."
"She's five years old, Neil. She's too young to know about everything I went through," said Lim.
"Audrey, I think she'll be more afraid if we don't tell her," said Melendez, "But if you don't want to, I understand."
Lim sighed and said, "No, you're right. She'll continue to be terrified unless we explain it her."
"You stay here; I'll go get her," said Melendez. He walked down to Mei-Li's room and opened the door, where Mei-Li was embracing her plush Mushu for comfort, "Mija?"
She looked over at Melendez and said, "Daddy, why did Mommy keep telling me she wasn't going to let me die? She was scaring me."
"I know, mija," Melendez crouched down in front of her, "There's a reason why she acted the way she did," he held out his arms, but Mei-Li hesitated, "I know Mommy would really like for you to hug her and tell her how much you love her."
Mei-Li went into Melendez's outstretched arms and he carried her to the master bedroom. He placed Mei-Li on the bed and she crawled closer to Lim, "It's okay sweetheart," Lim kissed her temple, "I know I scared you."
"Mommy, why were you acting so scary?" asked Mei-Li.
Melendez and Lim looked into each other's eyes and Melendez squeezed Lim's hand. Lim took a deep breath and asked, "Sweetheart, you know how you're afraid of the dark and of monsters under your bed?" Mei-Li nodded, "Well, you know how I don't like to be around people coughing a lot, and when I am, I sometimes act kind of funny and Daddy helps me take deep breaths?" Mei-Li nodded again, "And you know how, sometimes, I get a little madder than I should at you and Daddy?" Mei-Li nodded a third time, "And there are certain things I don't like, like I don't like to hear Jingle Bells?" Mei-Li stayed silent, so Lim continued, "Well, a long time ago, I went to work, and there were these two people who had a germ in their lungs, and it made it hard for them to breathe. They coughed a lot and they ran fevers. Well, the germ eventually caused both of them to stop breathing and they died?"
"Died?" asked Mei-Li confused.
"They went to Heaven, mija," said Melendez, bringing in Mei-Li's Sunday School lessons.
"Oh," said Mei-Li.
"Well, because I was working on these people who had the germ in their lungs, I got sick too. Now, I got better, but while I had the germ in my lungs, I had to be away from other people and I had trouble breathing. I coughed a lot and I had to be put on special machines that helped me breathe. And it was all very scary for me."
"Because the other people went to Heaven?" asked Mei-Li.
"Yeah," nodded Lim, "I had to stay in the hospital for a long time so I could learn how to breathe again. Well, after I got to come home, I started having bad dreams about how scared I was, like you have bad dreams about monsters chasing you. I would also feel like I was alone and sick again if I saw or heard something that reminded me of being that scared, like when I hear or see someone coughing."
"Was it my fault?" asked Mei-Li worriedly.
"No, not at all mija," said Melendez.
"But I was coughing," said Mei-Li.
"I know, honey, but it was NOT your fault," said Lim, "It's because of the bad guys in my head, not you."
"What bad guys?" asked Mei-Li.
"Well, the reason I didn't like to see or hear things that reminded me of being sick is there are sometimes bad guys in my head that tell me I'm not okay and the world isn't okay, even though everything is fine. That's what happened when I heard you coughing; the bad guys in my head told me we weren't okay even though we are. Do you have any questions so far? I know I've told you a lot of stuff."
"No," said Mei-Li.
"Well, all of these things I get—the bad dreams, the bad reminders, feeling mad or sad sometimes—is called Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD for short. Have you heard me or Daddy say that before?" asked Lim and Mei-Li shook her head, "Well, PTSD can happen to people who have a really scary thing happen to them."
"Like how you were really scared when you had the germ in your lungs?" asked Mei-Li.
"Yeah," Lim nodded, "But just because I have this thing called PTSD does not mean I love you or Daddy or Carlos any less. And sometimes, when I have a bad dream or a bad memory, I like to cuddle with people afterwards."
"Do you have any more questions mija?" asked Melendez.
"So, when Mommy locked me in your room and was wearing a mask, did she think that she was sick again?" asked Mei-Li.
"Yes, what I was having is called a flashback, and they make me feel like I'm back at the time I was sick even though I'm not," answered Lim, "But sometimes I act like I am. That was why I was getting you away from everyone and saying I wasn't going to let you die because, in my head, I thought I was at work and it was that scary day for me."
"How does Mommy know how to get the bad guys out of her head?" asked Mei-Li.
"Well, sweetheart, I went to a special doctor and talked about how scared I was, and she taught me how to breathe and think about happy things when the bad guys come into my head and I feel scared."
"Like what happy things?" asked Mei-Li.
"Like the days I had you and Carlos. Like the day Daddy asked me to marry him. Like the day Daddy and I got married," Lim listed.
Melendez said, "I promise you, mija, Mommy still loves all of us very much. I know what you saw today was scary, but she still loved you even when she was scared of the bad guys in her head."
"Can I hug you, Mommy?" asked Mei-Li.
"Of course, sweetheart," Mei-Li snuggled closer to Lim and Lim kissed her temple, "I love you so much."
"I love you too, even though you sometimes feel scared," said Mei-Li.
