So this chapter deviates from the canon of Feelings and incorporates the current pandemic into the storyline. Just a little Limlendez hurt/comfort fluff because I'll miss their sweet moments together.
It had been a long day at work for Neil Melendez. Though his specialty was cardiothoracic surgery, Andrews had assigned as many people as he possibly could to the COVID units of St. Bonaventure, and he had lost at least fifty people today. Melendez couldn't help but remember right before Christmas, 2018, when the St. Bonaventure emergency room had to be put under quarantine due to a respiratory virus similar to coronavirus, though it hadn't been quite as dire of a situation; there had been four infections total and three deaths before the virus was contained. But the lone survivor of the virus was the woman whom was waiting for him at home.
If the pandemic had been stressful for Melendez, it was even worse on Lim. She wasn't going in nearly as much as he was, mainly because she had to stay home and take care of the baby and she didn't want to risk infecting her. He had barely been able to hold Mei-Li for the past several weeks, and it broke his heart that he had to interact with his four month old daughter from a distance most of the time. On top of everything, he knew the pandemic was bringing back memories for Lim, and they certainly weren't good ones. Between being up all night with the baby or with Lim after a nightmare, and being run ragged at work, he was always exhausted.
He walked through the front door and Lim had the news on TV. He sighed to himself when he saw what she was watching. He tried to follow the CDC and the WHO more than whatever CNN and Fox were reporting as "news." He quietly went up to shower before coming back downstairs. He sat down next to her on the couch and observed the program for a few minutes. He finally said, "Audrey, why don't we turn off the news for a while?"
Lim jumped when she heard his voice, almost as if she hadn't even noticed him come into the room. She looked over at him and said, "Neil, I'm a Chief of Surgery at a hospital with a lot of COVID patients. I need to know what misinformation is being reported to the public so I can correct any errors brought up to me," she said snippily.
Melendez heard some cooing and glanced down towards the floor, noticing Lim pushing Mei-Li in her baby swing with her foot. He smiled at his daughter, happy as can be, oblivious to everything going on in the world and their lives, "What I wouldn't give to be an innocent child in the midst of all of this."
Lim glanced down at Mei-Li, smiled softly, and briefly stopped the motion of the swing, "Yeah, I know the feeling," Melendez hadn't really brought up the whole pandemic to Lim ever since it started, as he didn't want to add any more stress into her life or cause her any more anxiety. Melendez finally grabbed the remote and switched over to reruns of Friends, to which Lim scolded him for it, "Neil!"
"Audrey, watching all of the news reports isn't good for your mental health and you know it," Melendez said firmly.
Mei-Li started to fuss and turn her head back and forth, so Lim picked her up and asked, "What's wrong, baby girl? Are you hungry?" Lim settled Mei-Li into her arms to feed her.
It was moments like these ones where Melendez forgot all about work, when he was at home with the family he and Lim had created together, "Audrey?" Melendez asked.
"Hmm?" Lim glanced up at him.
"I want to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly, okay?" Lim hesitated, but nodded in agreement, "How have you been feeling? Really feeling?"
Lim stayed silent for the longest time as she went back to gazing at the infant snuggled in her arms. She finally responded, "It's like my worst nightmares are coming to life right before my eyes," she said quietly, "I have so many feelings and I don't know how to process any of them right now."
Melendez gently laid his hand on Lim's shoulder and said, "Well, you know I'm here to listen if you need to talk."
Lim burped Mei-Li before settling her back into her arms, "I guess my biggest fear is I'll get sick again, and this time, I won't make it and she'll have to grow up without her mom," said Lim softly, "And I know firsthand what this virus can do to people. If I get COVID, my lungs could become even more scarred than they already are. My immune system was weakened after the last time I got sick; what if I can't beat it and I leave you both behind? Last time, I didn't have really anyone or anything to live for, but now…" Melendez saw a few tears run down Lim's cheek.
"Come here," he shuffled closer to her and kissed her temple, "I can't even begin to imagine how hard this whole ordeal has been for you."
"I mean, being a new mom is hard enough, being a Chief of Surgery is difficult, running a hospital on COVID protocol is exhausting, but throwing all three together? Plus being the race that I am and the fact that therapy is considered 'non-essential' unless I do so online," Lim vented, "And then I have to keep up with the news reports as well as new information from the CDC and the WHO and it just brings back all of those memories. Between late night feedings, diaper changes, and nightmares, I barely get more than three hours of sleep."
Melendez took a deep breath, figuring out what he was going to say next before he responded, "Well, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to call your therapist and schedule a video conferencing appointment. As for tonight, how about we get Mei-Li ready for bed, and then, we take a nice long bath and watch a movie since I'm off tomorrow. Anything you want."
Lim raised her eyebrows and smiled, "Anything?"
Melendez sighed, but smiled, "Yes, anything."
"How about Iron Man?" asked Lim hopefully.
"If that's what you want," said Melendez amusingly.
"Okay," said Lim, holding Mei-Li securely in her arms, "Well, it's time to get you ready for bed, baby girl. But first, how does a bath and a bedtime story sound?" Mei-Li just cooed a little, so Lim said, "I knew you'd like the idea."
If it was one thing that always put the parents in a good mood, it was the two of them watching how much their daughter always enjoyed bath time. They changed Mei-Li into her pajamas and read her a bedtime story before putting her in her crib. They decided to watch the movie first and then take a long soak right before bed, so Melendez put in the movie before snuggling next to Lim under the blanket. Lim laid her head against his chest and said, "Thank you. I need this."
"You're welcome," said Melendez, "I know we've both been under a lot of stress lately, but a lot of your fears are valid concerns. I know I can't take away bad memories, but I want to help in any way that I can."
Lim smiled and said, "Just you being here with me is all I want right now."
