"Alright girls, I know that you all have your own ways of entertaining yourselves, but if you're all gonna get fired up every time you play any game together, we might have to start considering new solutions." Kazuma remarked as he finished sweeping what was left of the old table into a cluttered, messy, jagged pile to the side of the kitchen. "The property damage inflicted in this last week can't be a consistent thing, and since half of it has come from you three…"

Darkness, Aqua, and Megumin stiffly stood side by side like school children getting reprimanded by their teacher while an amused Wolbach leaned against the doorway with a small smile, clearly enjoying the show.

"Yeah, well...You know how much I hate losing, Kazuma!" Aqua defended. "Besides, we gods have a history of going overboard when we don't get what we want."

"She does have a point. It's our Achilles' heel." Wolbach agreed snarkily, before turning her gaze to Megumin and shaking her head in mock disappointment. "I expected you to perform better under pressure, little one. What went wrong?"

"Hey, look, I've never lost a game in my entire life!" Megumin shot back in defense. "Not against Yunyun, not against my little sister, nobody. Either the game was rigged or someone was cheating. There's no other explanation."

"Mmm, I feel like there might be a few more ways to explain it, actually." Kazuma remarked, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Honestly, you three...at least Dark was relatively well behaved this round!"

The embarrassed blush on the crusader's face intensified as she did her best to keep her "tendencies" in check. She looked down and said, "I...have a small confession to make. I was very close to breaking the table myself. But then Aqua beat me to it with her God Blow…"

Kazuma fixed the crusader with a truly disappointed look, one he'd previously reserved purely for when Aqua said something particularly stupid. After a moment or two, he sighed once more and shook his head sadly, turning away from the group.

"I'm disappointed in all three of you. I really thought you were better than this." He mused with a far too genuine tone, barely restraining his laughter with his next words. "I suppose I have no choice, actions must have consequences. Wolbach; you're officially my favorite for the foreseeable future."

A choir of indignant shouts soon erupted as Kazuma turned his back on the girls to hide his painfully obvious grin. Aqua in particular cried, "Don't toy with us like this, Satou! It's bad enough you won with your maxed out luck, don't make this get any uglier!"

"I don't make the rules, Aqua, I just enforce them when you all decide to act foolish." Kazuma replied carefully, laughter threatening to bubble up past his facade through the entire sentence. "Well, 'Bach, I'm sure you'll enjoy your new position in the family. You definitely earned it!"

The dark goddess shrugged, deciding to play along with the cruel joke the head of the house had concocted. "I suppose it can't be helped. As a general, you do have to learn to be cool, calm, and collected at all times. This was bound to happen sooner or later."

Megumin, who was having none of this, pulled out the big guns on Kazuma. "Oh, like you haven't done anything stupid before? Like say, oh I don't know, that time you were convinced we were possessed by ghosts or controlled by dark magic or whatever?"

"That is fundamentally different, and you know it!" Kazuma shot back hastily, getting closer and closer to devolving into a cackling mess by every second. "I had legitimate reasons to be suspicious, and I didn't break anything! So there!"

Darkness mumbled, "I mean, you do have to admit Kazuma, it was a rather silly and outlandish conclusion to jump to. Is it so strange that people can change with time?"

Aqua jumped in by adding, "Yeah, and I actually found that little journal you kept hidden with all your 'conspiracy theories'! I can't believe you actually considered aliens a legit possibility! That's so stupid! There's no aliens in a fantasy universe, that's just common sense!" The water goddess couldn't contain herself any longer as she ended up rolling on the floor, laughing like a hyena.

"Oh, so you're all laughs now, huh? Using my paranoia against me?" Kazuma remarked, the smallest amount of ire entering his tone as a sinister smirk rose on his face. "Alright then. That's your choice. I'm gonna head into town and get us a new table. Until I get back, Wolbach's in charge."

Instantly, Aqua ceased rolling and laughing. She looked up at her shared boyfriend with a neutral stare as she said, "Okay, I kinda knew you were joking the first time, but you're not being serious right now, are you?"

"Oh, I'm as serious as a heart attack! And I would know...I've had a heart attack. Twice." Kazuma responded smugly, before turning to Wolbach and nodding respectfully. "Keep them in line till I get home, my new bestie?"

"Don't worry, they'll be as quiet as church mice by the time you get back," Wolbach chuckled darkly. "I have my ways to handle insubordination..."

Darkness couldn't help but let a small groan escape her lips before she quickly clamped her mouth shut with one hand. "My apologies," she muttered quietly to Kazuma, before placing her hand back over her mouth.

"Hey, you're trying your best. I can respect that...even if you are still a helpless perv." Kazuma replied, biting back a chuckle as Darkness' cheeks flushed and she stifled a whine. Maybe he was getting a little too comfortable with her habits… "Welp, I'm off! See you guys in a few hours!"

"Hey, if we promise to be good until you come back, can you pick up some sweets while you're out?" Megumin asked, prompting Aqua to rapidly nod her head like an excitable child.

Kazuma paused midstride, glancing over his shoulder and offering a measured "Maybe." before resuming his trek towards the front door, which opened and closed a few seconds later. As such, the four women were left in an uneasy silence for a few moments.

"Sooo...You wanna play a game with us, sensei?" Megumin asked Wolbach.

The former demon general stared incredulously at the girl, and by extension the other two as well. "...No wonder your boy toy leads you three."


Kazuma found himself glad with how isolated the path into town was, as he was self aware enough to recognize that a man giggling to himself while walking alone was probably a bizarre sight to see.

Probably should stop doing that. Don't want people thinking I'm a loose psychopath on top of being a pervert, he thought to himself. Still, I've just been feeling really good lately; best I ever felt since coming to this hellhole!

While the obvious answer was the new, elevated relationship(s) he had with the girls, Kazuma wondered if there was more to it than that. He honestly hadn't felt quite this happy in a long time, though, so maybe it was enough to not bother looking the gift horse in the mouth.

The recovering hikikomori settled for whistling a jaunty tone to himself as he made his way down into the mostly recovered town. It wouldn't be long before Axel was back in top shape and ready to start handing out quests to its adventurers again. And yes, even Kazuma the grump was looking forward to the prospect himself.

As he walked, however, his whistle seemingly muffled the footfalls that started to tap alongside his own. After a moment or two, he registered movement enough to turn his head, abruptly breaking off his whistle into a startled shout as he realized Chris had appeared next to him at some point.

"GAH! Holy crap, Chris! I get you're a thief and all, but do you really have to sneak up on your own friends like that!?" Kazuma retaliated. "You almost made me piss myself for fuck's sake."

"Heh, sorry Kazuma! Didn't mean to scare you that bad!" Chris replied, lifting her hands into a surrender motion while still smiling brightly. "You seemed like you were in a good mood, I figured I'd join you!"

Kazuma crossed his arms and huffed, "Yeah well, for future reference, just walk up and ask. None of that sneaking bullshit."

"Alright, alright! In the future, I'll just ask. Shake on it?" Chris asked, extending her hand to him with a playful look. After a few seconds, Kazuma took her hand and gave it a firm shake. "Cool. Also, Steal!"

A bright light temporarily flashbanged the unsuspecting Kazuma. After vigorously rubbing his eyes, he slowly regained his vision only to find Chris holding Chunchumaru in the hand she used to shake his with.

"Wha-HEY! Give that back!" He hissed, making a grab for his sword that the thief dodged with ease, making him groan. "Seriously, Chirs? Not cool! I thought we were having a serious moment!"

"When have you known me to be serious?" Chris hummed playfully. She took a moment to inspect the short sword before saying out loud, "I thought you didn't like this thing. That you said it was too short and had a stupid name...Which I'm partial to agree with, by the way."

"Yeah, well, I don't really disagree with the name thing, but...I dunno, it kinda grew on me." Kazuma admitted, his frustration giving way to contemplation as he considered Chris' words. "It's not the best sword in the world, but it's mine. It's been through hell, and to a degree, I guess it reminds me of the battles I've had. The good and the bad alike."

Chris inspected the name engraved on the blade before handing the sword back to Kazuma. But not before cheekily adding, "And because one of your girlfriends picked the name out for you, right~?"

"Yeah, I do have Megumin to thank for that." Kazuma confirmed, his cheeks heating up slightly as he chuckled and resheathed his blade. "I still hate the name, but honestly? I don't think it'd be half as special if she hadn't been the one to name it."

"That's certainly a nice perspective on it," Chris admitted, strolling alongside Kazuma and throwing her arms ups behind her head. "So, what brings you out of your den today?"

"That would be the fact the Aqua caved in our kitchen table while playing a board game with the others." Kazuma replied with a mix of amusement and exasperation. "So, I gotta pick up a new table and grab some sweets on the way back because I'm weak."

Chris chuckled, "Wow. Don't tell me you're becoming their sugar daddy. Aqua will never get off your lap otherwise."

"That's...quite the way to dissuade me from buying some candy for the girls." Kazuma remarked with an awkward chuckle, surprised by Chris' statement. "Aside from the usual trouble they brew up, I think the girls will be fairly well behaved since I dubbed Wolbach my new favorite so long as they misbehave."

Out of the corner of his eye, Kazuma noticed a slight twitch in the thief girl's face. Though he couldn't tell what it was supposed to be or if it even meant anything at all. Soon Chris spoke, but with a more leveled tone, "Hey, uh, speaking of that Wolbach girl, where does she fit into all this exactly?"

"Fit in? I mean, she's part of the party, if that's what you're asking." Kazuma replied earnestly, before tilting his head in consideration. "I did also invite her to join our family after she tried to absorb our cat, who is actually a separated section of her being, by the way. So, she's also kinda family too."

Kazuma was content with walking before he realized Chris had yet to respond back. He glanced beside him to see the thief give him one of the strangest looks a human face could make. "What?" he asked.

"I...don't really know what to say to that, honestly." Chris answered slowly, crossing her arms and fixing Kazuma with a bemused expression. "I don't know a ton about Wolbach, but what I do know isn't good. Why on earth are you so trusting of her?"

The nervous tick of scratching himself came back as Kazuma tried to explain his reasoning. "I...Look, I understand where you're coming from, really, I do. It turns out Chomps was the main driving force for her wanting to join the party. But we eventually had a sit down and talked about personal stuff and everything is more or less good now! So, uh, yeah…" He trailed off, not sure how to finish his speech. He just hoped it would suffice.

Chris still looked irked, but ultimately sighed and shook her head before resuming her walking, speaking as she did so. "Look, I don't agree with it, but it's your party and your friends. If you really think you can trust her, for whatever reason...well, I guess I should have faith in your judgment. After all, I can't think of a time it's come back to bite me too much...excusing the obvious, of course."

"Heh, yeah," Kazuma grunted before clearing his throat a bit. "Y'know, if you want, um, you can be a part of my family. I mean, why not, right? I already made Wiz the 'aunt', so you can be something if you want."

"Mmm, quite the bold offer, you know. Inviting a girl you don't know half as well as you should into your family." Chris remarked with a teasing tone, before her expression fell slightly and she cleared her throat. "I mean, I prefer to be a lone wolf for a reason, but...I'd be lying to say the offer wasn't tempting."

"Well, if family is too much of a commitment, then how about guardian angel or something?" Kazuma offered while shrugging in an unsure manner. "You do have an uncanny ability to show up whenever I need help. Maybe that would suit your style more?"

"Guardian Angel, huh?" Chris remarked, her smile returning with a vengeance as she chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement. "I like the sound of that, actually."

Kazuma wiped his forehead, "That's a relief. I thought I was making you uncomfortable there for a second. Well, actually...I have stolen your underwear before, so I guess that's already happened...sorry about that."

"Eh, the past is the past. Truth is, I think you've grown a lot since then, so I'm willing to let sleeping dogs lie, as it were." Chris answered, before a teasing smile crept up her lips as she turned to face Kazuma properly as they walked. "I would like to know, though...why'd you do it? I mean, the first time was training, but the other two? You got any defense for that?"

The boy tugged at his collar as his body temperature rose. "Listen, I was a bachelor at the time living with three morons who I may or may not have had confusing feelings for, okay? Cut me some slack already."

"Confused feelings, huh? I guess I understand, though I can't imagine how you couldn't find a better, less harassment oriented outlet." Chris continued to tease, before finally going in for the kill. "Listen, like I said before, we're all cool. Just...don't forget to ask next time, alright?"

Suspicious, Kazuma looked to the thief as he slowly asked, "W-what do you mean by that? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the best when it comes to social cues."

"Relax, lover boy. Don't give yourself another heart attack." Chris deadpanned, rolling her eyes as she mentally realigned herself. Slow and steady was the name of the game. "So, you mentioned needing a new table earlier, right? I heard around town that a new shop should be opening next to Wiz's, one more focused on woodworking. Maybe we could check in there?"

"Sounds awfully convenient," Kazuma admitted. "Normally I'd be skeptical and question everything around me from such a strange set of circumstances, but...Screw it, let's go. It'll be a nice excuse to say hi to Wiz anyway."

"That's the spirit!" Chris chirped, slapping her fellow adventurer on the back lightly before staring forward with an increased pace. "Move it or lose it, Kaz. Day light's burning!"

"Don't you have candy to steal from a baby or something?" Kazuma lightly retorted back as he picked up the pace as well.


Around half an hour later, after popping in to check up on Wiz and (unsurprisingly) also running into Yunyun, Kazuma headed next door to the new shop while Chris stayed behind to chat with the shopkeep and mage some more.

As the Japanese adventurer opened the front door, a small bell chime alerted the man running the furniture shop to his presence. "Ah, welcome valued customer!" he greeted with the typical politeness of any up and coming shopkeep. "What are you in the market for?"

"Hey there. I'm looking for a table, preferably one to be used in a dining room." Kazuma answered, glancing around the shop and admiring what work was currently on display. "Do you have anything of that variety in stock right now?"

"Dining tables? But of course!" he exclaimed jovially. "Just had some imported this morning! If you want, I can take you around back and you can see which one catches your eye? There's plenty to choose."

"Sure, sounds good to me. Lead the way!" Kazuma agreed promptly, following the new shopkeep as he guided him towards the far corner of the shop, where there were a number of different model tables out. "Hmm, I'm kinda liking the one on the far left here. What can you tell me about it?"

The furniture man happily obliged and gestured at the table like he was a used car salesman. "Good eye. This beauty right here is made out of the finest Fae tree wood, straight from a fairy forest. Folk legends claim anyone who uses wood from a fairy forest is protected from dark magic. Or so I'm told, anyway. Plus, wood from a Fae tree is surprisingly sturdy!"

"Wow, I think we might already have a winner!" Kazuma remarked with a whistle, looking at the table over once more before nodding to himself. "So, how much should this cost me?"

"Well considering how rare a fairy forest is to find, plus the cost of production, it's gonna be a minimum base price of 500,000 eris," regrettably answered the shop owner. "However, the delivery and handling fee is free if you can afford it."

"Sounds fair enough to me. Gimme a sec to do the math." Kazuma replied, before grabbing his emergency eris pouch from the back of his belt and reading the small tag he'd scrawled onto the side. "So, how would the payment process go? I'd assume upfront?"

"You'd assume correct. I also accept IOUs from any Eris affiliated banks if you don't have enough on your person."

"Eh, I think I'm safer going with that second option, thanks." Kazuma admitted, equipping his eris pouch and accepting the offered slip of paper the shopkeep had procured from one of his pockets. "You mentioned that delivery and handling would be free. When should I expect it to be delivered?"

"Assuming you live in Axel, it's same-day delivery," the furniture man answered. "Otherwise, you'd have to pay extra depending on your distance of residence outside the city walls."

"Alright, well my residence is within Axel, so I guess that covers that." Kazuma muttered, signing the I.O.U. and presenting it to the shopkeep with little pause. "Here you are. Do you need any more paperwork, like for my address?"

"Sharp one, ain't ya?" he joked as he whipped up some more documents for Kazuma to look through. "Make sure to read the terms of agreement, sign your address on the corresponding line, and finish it with your initials. Easy!"

"Thanks, I'll just take a minute then!" Kazuma replied, doing as instructed and hastily reading over the terms before signing and handing it back over to the shopkeep with a polite nod and content smile. "And all set! Pleasure doing business with you, Mr..?"

"Horace," the man replied with a smile. "Everybody calls me Horace. Keeps things simple."

"Well, thanks again Horace. See you around, alright?" Kazuma reiterated, receiving a short chuckle and nod in response before making his way out of the shop and back towards Wiz's. When he entered, he found the three girl's he'd left behind huddled around the nearby table, apparently discussing something in hushed tones. "Uh...hey guys. I'm back from the new shop."

The three girls all jumped slightly, disengaging from their huddled cluster and turning to Kazuma, with Wiz being the first to greet him. "Oh, hello Kazuma! How did your efforts in finding another table go?"

"Pretty good! It was a little on the pricey side, but Horace promised it was sturdy and it's gonna get delivered to my house before day's end. Besides, I'm technically loaded; gotta do something with all this money."

"Heh, that's certainly a way to think, isn't it?" Chris snarked, taking a sip of her tea before continuing. "Well, it's good to hear you already have your table problem solved. Any other plans for the rest of the day?"

Kazuma shrugged. "Nah, not really. I'll probably pick up a snack for myself and for the girls on the way home, but that's about it."

"I thought I was able to convince you against that?" Chris said with a raised brow.

"Yeah, well, I skipped breakfast this morning. Plus, if I come back with something for just myself, they're never gonna let me hear the end of it."

The sassy thief shrugged, took another sip of her tea, and said, "Whatever you say, sugar daddy."

Yunyun, who'd been completely silent up until this point, partially due to nursing her own glass of tea, nearly choked on her beverage as she sputtered in surprise, casting Kazuma a look of shock that he immediately started to refute.

"No, no, no! Do not call me that, for the love of Eris!" He hissed pointedly, jabbing an accusing finger at the thief with a venomous glare. "You are a goddamn troublemaker, that's for sure. God, imagine if Aqua heard you say that, or gods forbid Darkness!"

"Eh, something tells me that won't be as big of a deal as you're making it out to be," Chris replied while leaning back in her seat like the carefree troublemaker she was.

"Just about had it with your antics, you know that?" Kazuma retorted with no real heat, shaking his head as he sighed in disappointment. "I'd play the favorite game like I did with the others this morning, but to be fair, this is a pretty evenly stacked group. Wiz and Yunyun are both great, you're the only one who ever misbehaves."

The lich and Crimson Demon respectively blushed at the unintended compliment given to them by their crush. Even Chris couldn't hide a small smile of adoration from forming on her lips.

"Truth be told, you make it easy to mess with you, Kaz," Chris replied honestly, before a sly smirk rose on her face as she leaned forward with her next words. "Then again, maybe I just need to be convinced to act more respectfully."

Almost immediately, Kazuma wiggled his fingers menacingly, and spoke in his iconic deep voice, "Don't think I won't do it a third time…"

"Third time's the charm, ain't it?" Chris retorted, still smiling as she rose to her feet. "You really feel like testing fate again, Kazuma? Then be my guest and try me."

Yunyun and Wiz glanced at each other, uncertain of just what to do as the thief and adventurer started each other down, almost daring each other to move first. Eventually, Kazuma broke.

"Alright, Chris. You know what? You asked for it!" He growled, before extending his hand and shouting his most infamous spell. "STEAL!"

One bright flash of light later, and Kazuma was rewarded with…

An empty palm?

Kazuma blinked. Then he blinked again. It wasn't until his third blink that he shook his head and looked up at his target, who continued to stand there tauntingly. "The hell…? That's never happened before," he said aloud. "What's going on?"

"Well, I planned ahead this time, Kaz. Don't you remember what I told you when I first taught you about Steal?" Chris hummed, far too pleased with herself as she offered up her next words. "Steal locks onto a person's most prized possession. And if that position isn't on the person when the spell is cast…"

With his mind currently in the gutter, it didn't take long for Kazuma to connect the dots. The other two girls present in the room were a little slow on the draw, but he knew they figured it out the moment they let out gasps and covered their mouths in shock. Chris, meanwhile, merely gave Kazuma an all-too-proud smile.

"N-no, you didn't…" Kazuma uttered in disbelief. "You...you pulled an Aqua on me!?"

"Heh, yup! Betcha didn't see that coming, did you?" Chris confirmed with a cackle, eyes shining with amusement. "Can't Steal what isn't there, can you?"

"CHRIS!" Wiz screamed in embarrassment. "How can you be proud of yourself right now? Have you no shame!?"

"Not when it comes to Kazuma, Wiz. No shame whatsoever." The thief replied pridefully, before breaking off into another fit of chuckles. "And don't be so serious, Wiz! It's all in good fun, right?"

"I don't think I could ever imagine myself doing something that bold," Yunyun said softly. "Still, I'd give anything to be half as confident as you, Chris."

"Not exactly the example I was hoping you'd take inspiration from, but hey, whatever gets you there, Yun-squared." Kazuma remarked numbly, his own shocked laughter bubbling up. "Holy crap, I-I have no words right now. I really got nothing here. Chris, just...wow."

"Hey, sometimes ya gotta think dirty to play dirty," Chris said with a wink. "I learned it from the best, after all."

"...you know, I don't think I can argue with that, as much as I want to." Kazuma admitted, shaking his head before taking a deep breath and composing himself. "Well, with all the theatrics finished, I...think I should start heading back now. Should make sure that the girls haven't burned the place to the ground while I was out."

"Couldn't agree more," concurred Chris as she waved Kazuma on the way out. "Take care of yourself, ya hear?"

"Come back soon, Kazuma!" cried Wiz. "Even if it's just to talk over tea!"

"Tell Megumin I still haven't forgotten about our long-standing score!" Yunyun blurted out at the very last second.

Kazuma chuckled a bit at that last one, but nodded all the same and offered his friends a parting wave as he started out the door. After stepping out into the street, he started to make his way back towards the main path so he could get back to the girls. If he was quick about it, even with his errand for sweets, he might just be able to make it back in time for lunch.

As he marched onward, however, he only made it about half of the distance before he paused mid step, having seen something that had momentarily startled him. He turned on his heel, glancing over his shoulder and registering that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

"Holy shit." He muttered, before starting a slow jog towards the subject of his surprise. "Yo, Sena! Wait up a sec!"

The prosecutor, missing her typical attire and instead clad in a simple white button up shirt and a black skirt, halted and turned to face him, the suitcase and small backpack she'd been cradling hanging limply by her side.

"Kazuma?" She asked in a strained voice, her eyes regaining some of their missing spark as her gaze landed on him. "I-I didn't expect to see you here. How have you been as of late?"

"Wha-fine, I guess." Kazuma answered distractedly, waving his hand in a dismissal motion as he steamrolled past the question. "What about you?! You look like you've been through hell!"

"Ah. Yes. Well, I've...had quite the morning." Sena admitted quietly, her tone dropping even further after she cleared her throat in an attempt to keep her voice from breaking. "As of this morning...I am no longer a royal prosecutor."

"...WHAT?!"


A knock momentarily managed to bring The Daughter out of her stupor, bringing her back to reality as she stood a little straighter and called out a confident, "Enter."

A moment later, the door cracked open and Serena stepped inside, holding a small stack of papers and greeting her fellow general with a nod.

"Ma'am, I have good news from both fronts." She announced with no small amount of pride, making The Daughter roll her eyes. As if the snake actually did anything worth being prideful over. "Your commander has sent word, Solarious has fallen. The siege has come to an end, and with minimal casualties as well."

"Expected, given that he likely followed my orders to the letter, but nonetheless good news indeed." The Daughter admitted, before her eyes sharpened in anticipation. "However, I assume the other news comes from our personal venture?"

"C-correct, ma'am." Serena confirmed, uncomfortable under the practical demi-god's gaze. "My spies have collected what intel they could on Kazuma and his party, all of which should be in this collection of files."

The Daughter took the offered files from Serena's hands, and immediately began to page through them. Her expression shifted from intrigue to confusion, then finally realization and amusement as a dark chuckle rumbled in her chest. This...was certainly going to make things interesting.