A/N: Sorry to Nerediiia for keeping her up at night.
Wasn't gonna update until next Saturday, but I didnt wanna torture you guys.
Enjoy!
The wind blew Kagami's dark hair as the car pulled to the curb of her apartment.
The female had been looking at her phone all day and felt sick to her stomach each hour that went by and she heard nothing.
No texts.
No calls.
Nothing.
She felt sick enough to throw up. She had never experienced such anxiety in her entire life.
Kagami paid no attention to Adrien's driver as she exited the car. She clutched her phone in her hand and began to weave her keys between her fingers with frustration.
The ravenette slid her fingers across her phone screen, pressing on the call button of the contact she wanted to communicate with.
She clambered up the stairs to her apartment door, fumbling with the lock before eventually entering.
Kagami was fuming as the call went to voicemail yet again.
"You can't do this to me-" she muttered, slamming the door behind her. "We had a deal! You can't just abandon me like that." She breathed. She ran her hand through her dark short hair nervously. "After I've opened up to you...after I told you what happened to me last time...you thought you could be so heartless and just throw me away like this..." her heart squeezed in her chest as she listened to her own words.
"You can't...you just can't...at least just call me. Let us talk about this. Ignoring me won't solve anything." Her voice quivered as her frustration manifested into tears. She quickly pressed the end call button and threw her phone on to the bed.
Kagami paced her bedroom, her cheeks growing red as her anxiety built up. She wasn't used to losing things she worked for and when she did, she didn't quite know what to do with herself.
Her heart flew, and Marinette was sure that Adrien could see that.
She had inwardly scolded herself for allowing herself to cry in her own self pity and heartbreak.
It was her own strain of negligence that got her into these types of situations.
Marinette looked away from Adrien, despite him calling her name. She hoped that he didn't see her cry.
The blunette quickly began to wipe away her tears, cursing her eyes for swelling and growing pink.
Her heart ached as she could hear him close the trap door behind him and approach her.
She exhaled, feeling his arm on her shoulder as he tugged her to face him.
"Marinette...what's wrong?" He asked in a soft murmur. "Why are you crying? Are you hurt? Did something happen?"
Marinette gulped, immediately shaking her head as she stepped away from him. She wiped her wrists on to her damp cheek and she sniffled nervously.
"No, I'm fine. I just...I just got distracted..." the female replied, blinking away any tears that were caught in her lashes.
Adrien frowned, his heart picking up the pace as he recalled what she had said to him the night before.
'Because it hurts to be with you'
He wondered if she remembered it. If there was anything he could help, he knew he would try his best to rectify things, but it seemed like she didn't really want to talk to him about it lately.
"Marinette, you know that if there's something bothering you...you can always talk to me about it." Adrien whispered, the grimace still on his face as Marinette looked away from him.
"I'm fine, Adrien." Marinette assured, remaining obdurate on her perspective. "I was just thinking about stuff and then something got into my eye..." she reached up, dabbing her fingertips at her waterline.
Adrien reached over to her, placing his hand on her cheek and guiding her face back into his trajectory so that he could look her in the eye.
"Marinette..." his voice trailed off as Marinette looked into his eyes with an impassive expression. The male reflected back to her words the night before. He remembered that she promised to be more gentle with him, he wondered if she was hiding something from him. "Please..." he resumed, his thumb caressing her warm freckled cheek. "If I'm doing something that's hurting you...or if there's something I should know, you can talk to me about it. At least give me that chance to make it up to you, or make it right..." he replied, removing his hand from her face.
Marinette looked away from him, her heart still aching in her chest as she couldn't get the thought of Adrien and Kagami out of her head. She had felt so conflicted and confused. She knew that Adrien wanted her to talk to him, but she didn't know what she'd say without sounding so foolish.
"I know..." Marinette replied, very carefully stepping away from him. "It's just...I just have a lot on my mind." She shifted awkwardly before she wandered back towards the entrance to her bedroom. She opened the door and climbed down, landing on to the bed before she continued to climb back down towards the lower leverage.
Adrien sighed, feeling completely defeated as if Marinette had built her walls and shut him out again.
He felt like he was being pulled in every different direction. Adrien was worried about how closed off Marinette had gotten with him again, he was worried that she didn't trust him anymore. On the other hand he was completely terrified about how he would tell Kagami the little incident that had happened a few nights prior while he and Marinette were completely hammered, and lastly, he felt incredibly guilty at the wet dream that he had about Marinette the night before. The image of Marinette about to place his seminal fluid in her mouth thinking that it was the sugar left over from her mother's tea would forever horrify and haunt him.
Adrien suspected that Nino's lecture about him being attracted to Marinette had began to infiltrate his dreams. Perhaps he was thinking too hard on it.
Adrien loved Kagami and that's how it was going to stay.
The model followed her into her bedroom. He plopped himself on to the bed, watching as Marinette began to pick at the cupcakes that Sabine had sent Adrien up with.
"Did you talk to Kagami about the incident that happened the other night?" Marinette asked, gently eating the sides of the cupcake.
Adrien pressed his lips together, climbing down the ladder that led to her bed. He sighed, swiping at his shirt before eventually meeting her at her side.
"I...didn't get a chance to. She seemed like something was bothering her and I was worried that it would make things worse..." the model explained, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "It's bad enough that she already suspects that things happen between us, and I tried to throw her off by explaining that you were dating Luka, she was alright with that notion at first but then she went back to being suspicious again."
Marinette hummed with a chaste shrug.
"I guess she would be upset to hear that we...did something stupid when we were drunk..." the female frowned as she turned to glance at the few items she planned on taking back to her new home. "But I think she would be more upset if we wait too long to tell her about it. I mean, especially if she's already suspecting that we like each other."
Adrien stuffed his hands into his pockets, knowing that she was right. It wasn't like him to put things off, and he knew it was better to just be honest with the people you care about, but he didn't like hurting them either.
"So...you'd be honest with the people you love...even if it would hurt them right?" Adrien asked, reaching over to pick out a cupcake on the tray. "Even if it means risking everything?"
Marinette glanced down at her cupcake, turning it slowly so she could admire her father's talented icing pattern.
"When you love someone, you learn to make sacrifices. I think what matters is not what you lose, but if the person you chose to be with is willing to roll with the punches that life tends to throw your way. The throws of crisis can be hard, we are all human and make mistakes. What we did wasn't intentional..." she bit her lip at the thought. "We know we won't do it again. I just hope that Kagami will be gentle with me..." she shrugged.
Adrien frowned at her explanation. He glanced up at her as she began to eat the icing off the mini cake.
"Gentle with you? Are you afraid of my girlfriend?" He asked, not entirely surprised as he had seen how cruel Kagami had been to Marinette.
Marinette blushed, looking up at him quickly as she smudged a bit of icing on her cheek.
"I mean...she doesn't scare me." Marinette reiterated, clearing her throat as her chest felt incredibly tight. "But...she does worry me."
Adrien glanced down briefly. He hesitated to speak but he couldn't really blame her. Kagami was a totally different person when it came to Marinette and it made sense to Adrien. Watching someone you love marry a stranger could hurt you in unimaginable ways.
It still didn't excuse the way she acted towards Marinette, but at least it explained it.
"You know..." the male shifted his weight, reaching up to peel the paper off the treat. "I want you to know that for as long as I'm around, I won't let her hurt you or do that to you again..."
Marinette blushed, her eyes widening as she began to feel bashful again. Her heart did flips in her chest as Adrien approached her and swiped his thumb delicately across her cheek to remove the icing that had got there.
The blunette pressed her lips together, her eyes capturing his as he smiled down at her.
"Do you trust me?" He asked, allowing his hand to drop back to his side.
Marinette looked back down at her half eaten cupcake.
She wasn't sure of the answer to that. She knew she trusted him with some parts of her life, but there were other details about her that she was terrified to show him. She didn't want to scare him away like she had possibly done with her relationship with Felix.
"Do you love Kagami?" Marinette asked, timidly. Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest as she was afraid of the answer. "I mean, do you really love Kagami? As in, you'd make sacrifices to be with her?" Marinette frowned, glancing back at the empty wrapper in her hands.
The blunette bit her lip, knowing that she needed that confirmation, she needed that boost to help her move on. She needed something that would make her strong enough to leave him behind once they signed for their divorce.
"Sacrifices being...your other relationships?"
Adrien pressed his lips together, his heart sinking as she dropped the question of trust and replaced it with one of her own.
"I love Kagami. The girl that she sort of evolved into since we met isn't who she was when I met her. I believe the girl that's always been gentle to me is still in there, but I've been with her for years. She's all I've ever known and if I'm being honest, the thought of making friends other than her terrified me. She saw things in me that no one else would. If she's willing to take our relationship to the next level and help us grow into something..." his voice trailed off as he worried what he was about to say would sting. "...t-then I will take the proper sacrifices to show her that I love her and I'm completely devoted to her. I want Kagami to trust me and to realise how important she is to me. Even if that means I have to give up my other relationships"
Marinette's heart sunk into her stomach acid. She knew this was an answer she was going to get, in fact she was hoping she got an answer like this.
She wanted to scream out to him, she wanted to scream out his name until her lungs burned. She wanted to cry into his chest and tell him everything she had been feeling, but she wanted him to know that she loved him.
But from the start, Marinette knew that he was in love with someone else and despite the drunk mishap they had a few nights prior, Adrien made it his priority to remain loyal to her.
Marinette couldn't help but to envy that. If only the man she had fallen in love with thought of her that much to do the same. She had hoped his honest answer was enough to boost her into finally wiping her hands clean of him forever. She would be more than happy to finalize the divorce.
Marinette parted her lips, ready to respond to him when Adrien grabbed her hand, catching her off guard completely.
"But-" Adrien interjected, his hand holding on to hers tightly. "My relationship with you is one I'm not willing to sacrifice..." he breathed, his eyes capturing hers as she glanced up at him with a look of perplexion.
Marinette widened her eyes, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. The blunette pressed her lips together, her stomach growing tight as she was almost sure she was about to puke the cupcake she just ate.
"I-I'm not?" She asked with a startled stutter, her mouth growing dry as she now clutched the cupcake wrapper in her palm.
"I meant it when I told you how I felt about you..." The model replied with a grimace. "I know we haven't known each other long, but you've found someway under my skin..." his thumb ran over the back of her hand gently.
"I meant it when I told you that you make me feel human, and I think I've felt more with you in the little time I've known you than I have in my entire life. I mean no ill will towards Kagami, but you're someone that I dont want to lose..." he slowly guided her hand to his chest with a grimace.
Marinette blushed deeply, her breathing growing rigid as she could feel his heart thumping beneath her palm.
She glanced up at him, her blue eyes flickering between his green eyes.
"And I mean that from the heart..." Adrien clarified, his expression sincere as he kept his gaze on her.
Marinette closed her eyes, immediately wrapping her arms around him and tugging him close.
She buried her face into his chest, her hands gripping at the back of his shirt as he reciprocated the embrace. He swathed his arms around her tautly, pressing small kisses to the top of her head.
Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, her body trembling as she tried to withhold the tears that threatened to ebb from the corners of her eyes.
"I trust you, Adrien..." she breathed into his chest. "I promise..."
"Ahhhh!" Marinette sighed softly as she stretched out against the patio chair of her bedroom balcony in the home she shared with Adrien. "My name is almost as long as an essay, yes?" The blunette giggled as she glanced at her new ID card.
The young woman was still unsure of her new name, but she was sure that they wouldn't have been able to fit all of her names on the card.
Alya sat beside Marinette, the female subtly nodding at Marinette's complaint. She glanced over to the garden ahead of them, her eyes lingering towards the pool and remaining there as if she was lost in a strong train of thought.
Marinette furrowed her brow, sitting up slightly to glance at her friend with the utmost of concern.
"Alya? Are you okay?" She asked, her voice thin with worry. "You seem like something's bothering you..."
Alya blinked, averting her focus on to Marinette. The young woman sighed, a warm smile etching on to her features the moment she captured Marinette's bubbled eyes of concern.
"I'm alright, sweetpea..." Alya murmured, placing an arm around Marinette's shoulders and tugging her close.
Marinette frowned as she rested her temple against Alya's chest. She may have not been able to read Alya like an open book the way Alya was able to do with her, but Marinette could tell when something felt off.
"Are you sure?" Marinette inquired timidly. "You've been quiet since you got here..."
Alya sighed, her hand reaching up to play with Marinette's dark locks. The brunette glanced up at the sky before she parted her lips to speak.
"You don't need to worry about me, babe. I'll be fine..."
Marinette furrowed her brow, hearing a hint of hesitation in Alya's voice. It only made her even more so concerned for her friend.
"Alya..." The blunette pressed reluctantly. "We've been friends for a long time. You know that if there's anything that you want to talk about..." Marinette placed her hand on to Alya's lap. "You can talk to me..."
Alya chuckled, leaning into the patio chair they were laying in. The brunette pursed her lips and grabbed Marinette's hand, squeezing it tightly as she encouraged her friend to rest her temple at her chest once more.
"I promise I'm okay, sweetpea... " Alya replied softly. "At least I know I'm going to be..."
Marinette frowned, her heart sinking at her friend's vagueness.
Something was up, Alya never thought into anything too deep, it was making her anxious.
"What do you mean by that? You see, when you say things like that without an explanation, you give me so much room to think the worse." Marinette pressed her lips together as she pulled back to glance at Alya with wide eyes.
"Do you have a terminal illness?" She asked, her shoulders slumping forward. "Because if you do, I swear to God I'll kill myself."
Alya snorted, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms awkwardly around Marinette's shoulder and tugged her closer to her body.
"Baby, I swear I'm not terminally ill." She giggled, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "When I get my thoughts together, I promise I'll vent about everything."
Marinette sighed, realizing that she had reached a dead end. Whatever it was, Alya wasn't ready to talk about it and Marinette was more than willing to respect that.
"Okay, but you better take it easy. I'll squeeze your boob if you don't." The bluenette threatened.
Alya chortled in response, pressing a kiss to Marinette's temple tenderly.
"You can squeeze my boobs anytime you'd like..." she smiled, nuzzling her face into Marinette's dark hair.
Marinette giggled, a subtle blush brewed on to her cheeks as she cuddled into her friend. The female closed her eyes, relaxing into her friend's embrace as Marinette thought that she'd let this concern go, only for a little.
"I'll make sure you scream my name when I do squeeze your boob. That way I know you'll like it." Marinette teased, pulling back to wiggle her brows at her friend.
Alya giggled, loosening her grip around Marinette's shoulders with a grin. "Oh yes, I'll make sure to scream out all four of your names, Mrs. Agreste. As long as your husband is alright with that."
Marinette groaned, plopping herself back against the patio chair. She covered her face with her hands as she had so much to tell Alya.
She wanted to tell Alya about her feelings for Adrien, about the divorce, about her confliction regarding Luka and about the emotional torment she was enduring regarding Kagami. Marinette would have loved some advice especially because she didn't really know that she was dry humping Adrien a few nights prior, but Marinette didn't have the energy to explain it.
In that way, she was able to understand why Alya didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her.
"I can't believe my name is so long..." Marinette breathed, pulling her hands away from her face with a weak smile.
Alya hummed, keeping an arm linked around Marinette's waist.
"It could be worse..." she murmured. "You could have married Felix..."
Marinette frowned at the sound of his name. The blunette reached up and began to run her hand through her hair.
"Maybe I subconsciously did..." she whispered, her heart aching at the thought of Adrien leaving her here by herself.
Alya furrowed her brow at her friend's comment and quickly turned her head.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Am I interrupting anything?" Adrien interjected, poking his head through the balcony slider doors, earning a perplexed gasp from both women.
Marinette pressed her lips together, her hand resting on her chest as she waited for her heart to calm down.
"No..." she breathed, pulling away from Alya and standing up. "What's up?"
Adrien shook his head, glancing at his phone screen.
"I know Alya's not going to buy us a steak dinner tonight, so I thought it would be on me tonight? That's if you ladies are hungry..."
Marinette blinked a subtle blush rushing on to her skin like a herd of hungry fireants.
"O-Oh..." the blunette glanced down at her friend. "Are you hungry for anything?"
Alya shook her head politely, slowly standing up alongside her friend.
"No. I think I should get going..." her voice trailed off as she looked up at Adrien. "It's getting late and I have a catering gig for a sweet sixteen. I should get some rest..."
Adrien glanced at Marinette who held a grimace. The blunette nodded, moving closer to Alya to give her friend a hug.
"Okay...well, then I'll see you another time?"
Alya smiled, hugging Marinette tightly. "Of course. You can call me at anytime."
Adrien watched both women as they squeezed through the door back inside. Marinette kept Alya's hand in hers as she walked her friend to the door.
The model glanced down at his phone, deciding for some chinese takeout and ice cream instead. It felt like a cloudy emotional day, perhaps some comfort food would do them both some good.
"Pleeease call me..." Marinette begged as Alya opened the back slider doors. "Especially when you've figured out what you have going on. I need to know that you're okay..."
Alya stepped out onto the patio with a weak smile before she turned to Marinette. "I promise. Even when I get things figured out, I'll be fine. You'll be the first to know." She female assured.
Marinette nodded, watching Alya wave to her once last time before she rounded the corner and escaped from her view.
The blunette frowned, slowly closing the slider doors as she was genuinely worried for her friend.
Alya ran a hand through her hair, she tried to enjoy the warm breeze that blew through her hair but she just had too many things on her mind.
She didn't know what she was going to do. Everything just started to happen at once and Alya wasn't sure if she had the mental capacity to deal with her carelessness anymore.
Any of her mistakes would fall on her shoulders, and for that she refused to allow anyone to carry that burden and that included Marinette.
Alya just needed a bit of space, she wanted to plan things out first. When she had the courage to speak up about it.
"Alya..." a familiar voice spoke out to her as she waited for her bus. Her eyes widened, her heart shattering at the tone of voice as he called out to her.
The young female immediately whipped her head in the direction of the voice.
"What is it Nino?" She asked, a subtle blush brewing on to her cheeks as she stepped away from him awkwardly.
Nino frowned, his heart sinking at how she made it obvious that she didn't want to be around him.
"I'm worried..." his voice trailed off, his eyes glancing up at the sky as the clouds began to roll into the sky. "You haven't answered any of my calls or responded to my texts..."
"So you followed me?" Alya asked, her brow furrowed as she glared at Nino.
Nino pressed his lips together, Alya's disconnection from him nearly breaking his soul.
"I...I just want to talk to you. I want to know what I did..."
Alya kept her gaze away from him.
It wasn't something he did, but rather something they both did. Alya couldn't fathom the concept of it, but she felt suffocated.
"Nino...I think we need a break from one another..." she kept her gaze away from him as she spoke.
It was almost as if Nino couldn't breathe. He couldn't lose Alya, at least not like this.
"Alya...no...please..."
Marinette placed the tea mugs into the dishwasher, her visage remaining low as she felt too awkward being alone with Adrien lately.
She often had to remind herself that he was with someone before she got hung up when she saw those two together. Adrien stood beside her, placing the pots into the cabinet above them.
Marinette blushed, her hands trembling as everytime he stood close to her, she would forget how to breathe.
The blunette stepped away from him, her heart aching as she couldn't allow herself to fall into the rabbit hole and hurt herself again.
The last thing she wanted to do was to lose herself and cry so that Adrien could catch her all over again.
Adrien glanced back at Marinette, his heart sinking as it appeared that Marinette had built her walls again. He was back to square one yet again.
He would make progress and then he would be stuck at the beginning because Adrien was pulled several steps back.
The model knew that Marinette had promised to him before that she did trust him, but it he couldn't help but to feel like Marinette had been doing everything she could to avoid him.
"Marinette, are you sure you trust me?" Adrien asked timidly, his quivering voice cutting through the silence between the two of them. "I...I know you said you did earlier today but it feels like you try to avoid me lately and I'm really worried that I'm doing something that's making you incredibly uncomfortable."
Marinette frowned, her heart hurting to know that he felt this way. She was giving off the impression that he was a bad person when he was anything but.
She sighed, knowing that she had trust issues from the start, but it had absolutely nothing to do with him.
Someone she loved always told her that the best thing to do for someone you care about and loved is to be honest with them. Even if it did hurt to speak about it.
"I-it's not that you're making me uncomfortable..." Marinette replied, drawing his attention immediately. The young woman blushed, finding it difficult to convey her feelings to anyone other than Alya. She glanced up, her lips pressing together as Adrien crossed his arms and casually leaned onto the counter to listen to her.
She inhaled, feeling as if she couldn't go back.
"You see, I had an ex that kept a lot of secrets from me." Marinette explained looking away. "It really fucked with my head. I was constantly wondering why he wouldn't come home or why he seemed so bored of me..." Marinette reached up to run her hand through her hair.
Adrien frowned as he listened to her, his heart squeezed in his chest as he knew just who she was talking about.
"Some people don't realise how bad keeping secrets could destroy someone. Once you break someone's trust, not only does it change the way that person sees you, but it changes how they see themselves..." Marinette reached up to rub her cheek. "I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone."
Adrien bit his lip, worried that if he kept the secret of what he know about Felix , it would strain the relationship between them even more so. The male dug his digits into his arms with frustration.
"I would like to think my ex cared about me..." Marinette continued, being as vague as she could. "But the way he just left without a trace it was worrisome. I just came home and he was gone. Everything we had was gone..." her voice quivered as she could still see the half empty apartment she shared with Felix when she returned home.
"I know I should let it go, but I wonder if he'll ever go back of if I should find him."
Adrien clenched his jaw, his brow furrowing with anger at his cousins callousness. He bit his lip, knowing that it was best to remain quiet and let her vent, but he couldn't contain himself.
"No, don't go back for him. Felix never deserved you and I honestly feel you can do better...you deserve better than that." Adrien muttered, his eyes lowering as he felt warm with anger.
Marinette paused, nearly dropping the cup in her hand. Her eyes widened, her cheeks flushing as her heart began to leap in her chest painfully.
"W-Wait..." she gulped. "Y-you know it was-" the blunette paused, trying to wrap her mind around how he found out and for how long he knew. "How did you know-"
"I saw a photo of you two..." Adrien confessed bashfully. "W-When I came to your apartment that one night to apologize for Kagami." The male reached up to rub the back of his neck. "It was on the table...and I just glanced at it."
Marinette blinked, her head nearly about ready to fall off her shoulders at the thought of Adrien rummaging around in her apartment.
"I...you..." she stuttered, placing the cup down and tugging her bangs back.
"This is why I never had guests over..." she breathed under her breath.
Adrien frowned, suddenly feeling like it was better to keep his mouth shut than to proclaim that he invaded her privacy accidentally.
"I didn't snoop...it was sitting on the table and I just..." he sighed, not feeling up to finishing his sentence as he knew that nothing he said would make anything better.
Marinette furrowed her brow. She could hear what he was saying, but there were other things in her head that demanded attention.
"Wait...do you know where Felix is?" She asked, her voice quivering. Her heart began to thump relentlessly at the possibility of finally finding where Felix was.
Adrien frowned, something in him told him that it was better to lie to her. It was better to deny knowing anything about Felix, but the fact of the matter is; he knew where Felix was. He knew what Felix had been up to and he knew why his cousin had left in the first place.
He didn't want to hurt Marinette, but from the look on her face as she awaited an answer from him, he couldn't lie to her either.
"I...I do..." he replied with reluctance. "But...I still don't believe you should go looking for him."
Marinette widened her eyes, her chest feeling tight at his response. She swore she could have felt her legs give out, and her mouth immediately went dry.
"Where is he?" Marinette asked, her voice quivering as her fists clenched. She had so many questions that began to flood her mind. "Adrien, please tell me where he is..."
Adrien pressed his lips together, his heart sinking as she begged for the location of his cousin.
"Marinette...please don't go looking for him. It's better if you just let it go."
Marinette clenched her fists, her cheeks growing red.
"It had been years since I had last seen Felix. When you return home from work one evening and everything you've ever come to know is ripped out right from underneath you with no explanation, then I'd ask you to let it go... but you haven't..." Marinette explained in a breathy voice. "He left me without a home, without my trust and my sense of safety...I need to know where he is. I need answers..."
Adrien's cheek grew pink. He couldn't bring himself to tell her, but from the way she pleaded with him, he knew he couldn't keep himself composed any longer.
He didn't want to be another one of those people that hurt her by keeping secrets.
It was only a matter of time before he couldn't help himself and spill the beans.
"Marinette, Felix fled to London because he knocked up a Café des Deux Moulins tobacco counter worker..." Adrien spilled, his voice strained as he spoke.
Marinette froze, her scalp growing cold as pulse of pure pain radiated throughout her entire body. Her first reaction was to deny it. She wanted to accuse Adrien of lying. Felix would never do such a thing like that...
Would he?
Marinette breathed out, her heart feeling like it was bleeding in her chest.
"W-What?" Marinette asked, her head refusing to wrap around that theory.
Adrien glanced down, wishing that he could take his words back, but he was already at the point of no return.
"I...I grew curious...and I had my dad's PI team look into where Felix was..." the blonde admitted, his hands gripping at his hair. "Felix was sleeping with an employee... she fell pregnant... she wouldn't get an abortion, so he fled. He knew his last name was huge and he was afraid of the controversy that came of it, especially because he was already..." Adrien paused, his heart aching as he spoke. "Especially because he was already in a relationship with someone else at the time. He had a lot to lose...and instead of being a man who deals with his mistakes...he was a coward and fled to London."
Marinette felt as if her soul had completely shattered, she almost felt like she couldn't breathe. She had been submerged in a constant sea of pain, and no matter how she tried to swim away from it, a tide always pulled her in to drown yet again.
"So...Felix has a child out there somewhere?" Marinette asked, her voice quivering as she struggled to keep herself composed.
Adrien pressed his lips together, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"I don't know..." he replied honestly. "We just know that he's in London. We don't know his exact whereabouts or what life he created during his time there..."
Marinette placed her hand on her chest, her entire body feeling completely broken before it eventually began to set in.
"Wait-" Marinette hissed, her brow furrowing at the pain she was feeling in her chest. "He fucking cheated on me?! He was cheating on me?!" Marinette exclaimed, her voice cracking as she repeated it to herself.
Marinette clenched her fists, her pain festering into anger. The blunette quickly glanced away as tears pooled in her eyes.
She was undeniably hurt and angry.
Was this an Agreste thing?
Did they all think they were better than everyone else?
Or was it just fate for her to be fucked over by them.
First she was fucked over and cheated on by her first love who was an Agreste, then an older Agreste stepped in with an old contract to force her into a marriage that she had no say in, or her family and their lives could be ruined and then in the end she ended up with another Agreste who was recognized as her husband. He was a gentle and kind husband who found his way under her skin, convinced her to step out of her comfort zone to move into a home just so he could abandon her for a stuck up bitch who spread her legs on her favorite white couch.
Marinette was fuming at this point. She wasn't sure how much more she was able to take, but she was sure to have reached her breaking point.
"I'm sorry..." Adrien breathed, unaware of what Marinette was thinking. "I know it's a lot to take in..." Adrien approached her, ready to take her into his arms to comfort her in any way that he could.
"Don't touch me-" Marinette seethed, quickly stepping away from Adrien with a cold stare. "Don't fucking touch me..." her voice cracked as anger pulsated through her veins.
Adrien widened his eyes, immediately recoiling at her hostility. He frowned, his heart sinking into his stomach as he realised that she was hurting. The best way to react was to continue to be patient and treat her with respect.
The male nodded, shamefully looking down as Marinette immediately turned and ran upstairs to her bedroom.
Adrien sighed, his instinct telling him to go after her, but also didn't want to push any boundaries.
The male ran a hand through his hair.
"Fuck-"
Marinette leaned on to the rail of the bedroom balcony. Her chest heaved with an incredulously amount of pain laced with guilt
Pain, because she had been cheated on and left behind like she had done wrong.
Guilt, because she was redirecting that aggression to the only person who was here to tell her the truth.
She knew that Adrien had nothing to do with Felix's infidelity, but still managed to push him away regardless. She had somehow strung their last names together and Marinette wanted to use the reason that he was moving into Kagami as an excuse to be mad at him when it wasn't.
Adrien didn't know about her feelings for him, and he had already established a relationship with Kagami long before he even met her.
Marinette sighed, tears pooling in her eyes as she realised she had no reason to be angry at Adrien.
If it were Alya who had decided to move out; would she had felt the same?
Certainly not.
Marinette closed her eyes, feeling completely humiliated at having to entertain the thought that Felix was sleeping with someone else.
It had made sense.
Why he was so disinterested in her, why he never stayed around to show her that he cared or that he even liked her anymore.
Marinette had felt so stranded and confused, she didn't know what to do with herself.
"Are you okay?" Adrien asked, his voice soft as he stood in the doorway leading to the bedroom. "I know you asked me to leave you alone...but it didn't feel right to leave you up here to cry by yourself."
Marinette felt her heart get stuck in her throat. The small framed woman turned to glance back at the man who appeared reluctant to approach.
Marinette glanced down, feeling ashamed for more reasons than simply one. She reached up to wipe her tears from her cheeks and she turned her gaze back to the gardens beneath them.
"I-I'm sorry..." the blunette breathed, her voice cracking. "I didn't mean to get so angry with you. I allowed my emotions to get the better of me."
Adrien nodded, remaining impassive as he stepped on to the balcony beside her. The male leaned on to the baluster, his green eyes glancing over to their yard beneath them.
"I get it." He replied softly. "When my mother dissapeared, I felt angry too..."his voice trailed off as he listened to Marinette sniffle beside him. "I often took my anger out on my dad...and frankly I felt like he took his anger out on me...I think she still does sometimes." Adrien confessed. "But if we come back to our senses, we shouldn't have to beat ourselves up other it...especially for someone who isn't worth creating such a large impact on your life."
Marinette bit her lip, trying to find comfort in his words but continued to struggle. She wanted to cry until she couldn't breathe anymore. It just hurt way too much.
"Its easier said than done..." Marinette breathed out, her voice quivering as she was close to breaking down again. "I-I feel so-so h-humiliated-" the female sobbed, keeping her gaze away from Adrien as she spoke. "S-so f-freaking angry...to waste so much time with someone who was doing this to me the whole time..." her heart ached painfully in her chest. "T-To think t-that I was some sort of j-joke to him."
Marinette had never felt so foolish in her entire life.
"It all makes sense...why he seemed so uninterested in me...why he stopped giving me kisses or sleeping in the bed with me..." Marinette felt her cheeks grow warm and her heart ache at the memory. "I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone..."
Adrien frowned, not knowing the pain of being cheated on and lied to, but can only imagine the pain it could do to someone.
"I can't imagine what you're going through...and I won't stand here and pretend that I do. But I can see how much you're hurting. Felix was always like that, to only think of himself and do things that were solely for his amusement. You deserve someone who will take you seriously...see how beautiful you are from the inside and out. You deserve someone who appreciates you, notices your many talents and your kind heart." Adrien glanced up at Marinette. "Felix doesn't deserve your tears, Marinette..."
Marinette blushed, attempting to blink the tears out of her eyes desperately.
"The person he showed me was different..." the blunette explained wistfully. "I was so blinded by love that what may have been selfishness, never really appeared to me."
Adrien nodded, his thumb running across the inside of his top lip as the model contemplated.
"There's a saying that says when you look at a person through a rose tinted glass, all the red flags just look like flags. The cousin I knew tried to drown me in the bathtub when I was seven, I saw that red flag." Adrien elucidated.
Marinette widened her eyes, she had heard the saying about love tricking its victims into seeing life through a Rose tinted glass, but she felt like she was more focus on the question as to why Felix tried to drown Adrien in the bathtub.
"O-Oh..." The young woman sniffled, reaching up to rub her eyes as Adrien shifted beside her.
"Look-" the male prompted, turning to face her. "What I mean is, you have to know your worth. Literally everyone can see it but you and that includes the people who have taken advantage of your kindness."
Marinette closed her eyes, her heart feeling heavy still at the news. She knew that Adrien could have meant what he said, but she couldn't help but to continue thinking about what Felix had done.
"I know...that it was years ago since I've last seen him and I probably shouldn't be this upset." Marinette breathed. "But it hurts so bad. It's like a neverending pain that I keep getting myself into that I wish I could just stop it or not notice it..."
Adrien frowned, his heart aching at the quiver in her voice. The male very slowly edged towards her, placing his hand on to her waist and guiding her closer to him.
Marinette inhaled, her own heart leaping in her chest as her body was drawn to his. He swathed his arms around her, drawing her tautly to his form in a comforting hug.
The blunette squeezed her eyes shut, her legs quivering as he held her. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and Marinette nearly wanted to melt right there in his arms.
There were times she hated him for stupid reasons that he couldn't help, but there were other times she appreciated when he took the initiative because they always seemed to work for her in the right ways.
Marinette pressed her face into his chest, knowing full well that she loved the man that held her. She loved the man that bore witnessed to her being played a fool by his own cousin. She had fell smitten with a man who belonged to someone else, but had no idea of the feelings she had for him.
He was incredibly tantalizing and Marinette wanted it in every aspect. The person she knew she wanted to have her in ways that no one else did was Adrien.
This was the one.
"Don't beat yourself up..." Adrien murmured, pressing soft kisses to the top of her head. "Every one grieves at their own pace. If anything, I feel guilty for snooping and spilling the beans in the first place."
Marinette kept her eyes closed, shaking her head as he spoke to her.
"No...it's alright. I'm glad you told me." She breathed, her hands loosening their grip on him. "At least now I have an answer and I'm ready to leave him go."
The female remained quiet as the wind blew between them. She had felt so safe and warm, she was sure she could have fallen asleep right then and there.
"How about I grab up something to eat? You can get comfortable and pick out a movie that we could watch. I know that you're not totally over this news, but a good distraction was enough to help me when my mom dissapeared..."
A small smile tugged at her lips, she really did think he was sweet and it was foolish enough for her to think that she didn't want him to leave. This entire time she was denying anything she may have felt for him and forced a gap between the two of them while all the while hurting him as well as herself.
Marinette blinked, feeling his arms unwrapped themselves from around her. The warmth that was just on her skin had abruptly vanished and it took Marinette everything she could to almost not reach out to him.
Almost...
Adrien turned, his hands falling at his sides as he decided to give her some space and go out to grab them something to eat.
The blonde froze, the moment her hand wrapped around his wrist, preventing him from moving an inch further.
A subtle blush dusted across his cheeks the moment he glanced back at Marinette who seemed just about as conflicted as he was.
The blunette pressed her lips together, her eyes widening slightly as she glanced at his hand in her own.
Her heart threatened to leap from her throat, it squeezed painfully in her chest that it almost made her sick.
She could faintly hear the sound of her heart beating and Marinette was almost sure that the words she had been scared to say this whole time were about to make their debute.
"Marinette?" Adrien mused, his voice faintly etching into her one track mind. "Are you okay?"
Marinette exhaled, her hands holding on to his even tighter as her body felt warm and cold at the same time.
'I love you'
'I love you'
'I love you'
The words carried along inside of her head in syncopation with her erratic heart palpitations.
Was she really going to tell him?
What would he think about her?
In the case that he didn't return her feelings (which he didn't) how would they continue to live with one another until they divorced permanently.
The thought killed her and frankly, it didn't seem like a good idea to tell a man who was in a committed relationship with another woman that she had feelings for him.
Marinette bitched and moaned that she would live up to what Kagami bullied her for, but in the end it would only make her a worse person for doing so.
She didn't want to use Adrien for her own personal gain. She wanted to grow with him until they decided to part ways in the end.
It didn't feel like a fruitless endeavor, but a moment she wanted to enjoy because she felt as if she would regret it if she didn't.
In the end it came down to whether or not if it was worth having him in her life as a friend, or would it just be better to not have him in her life at all.
Marinette glanced up at him, her eyes bouncing between both his green irises as she worried if this was just another reckless decision she had made along with the many ones she's already made since the moment she agreed that she would dance with Nick.
"T-Thank you..." Marinette stuttered, her grip loosened around his hand and she allowed him to go. "Thank you for coming back for me...and again, I'm sorry for flipping out on you earlier."
The two remained silent as Marinette looked away. She reached up to rub her cheek, her soul easing the moment he spoke.
"Always, my Ladybug..."
