Chapter 2
Several weeks passed by and Jaq was supposed to meet Victoria in town for lunch. She was looking forward to seeing the Barkley Matriarch and spending time talking. Jaq had arrived early and got a seat at a small table in the corner of the hotel restaurant. She'd just started on her second cup of coffee when she saw Jarrod enter. He was scanning the room and when he saw her, he headed straight toward her.
"Jarrod, what a nice surprise," Jaq greeted.
"May I?" Jarrod asked, motioning toward the seat opposite Jaq.
"Of course. I'm expecting your mother soon."
Jarrod nodded and when the waitress came over to ask if Jarrod wanted coffee, he replied with a yes.
"Unfortunately, you'll have to put up with me, Jaq."
"Oh?"
"Mother is feeling under the weather. She's been ill for the past few days and realized this morning that you two were supposed to meet. She asked me to relay her regrets."
Jaq had a look of concern on her face. "I'm so sorry, Jarrod. Is there anything I can do?"
Jarrod shook his head. "No. Dr. Merar has been out to visit a few times. He was concerned it was influenza." Jarrod noticed how Jaq stiffened and he kicked himself for not remembering in time that her parents had passed away from an epidemic.
"He doesn't believe it is though," Jarrod quickly told her. Jaq visibly relaxed. "Mother had a bout with pneumonia several years ago and Dr. Merar thinks that's what this is. She's already starting to respond to his treatments but she's very weak."
Pneumonia was very serious but Jaq trusted that Jarrod would tell her if things were dire.
"If you don't mind, I thought I'd take Mother's place," Jarrod asked, his most charming smile on his face.
Jaq tilted her head to the side. "I suppose I could put up with your company," she teased. Jarrod made a motion that he was being struck in the heart and the two shared a good laugh. They enjoyed the leisurely lunch and kept the conversation light. Jaq was happy to see Jarrod seemed to be doing well though in her estimation, he looked tired. She remembered after Paul's death sleep eluded her. She hoped he was taking care of himself and not pushing himself too hard.
Two weeks later, Jaq was enjoying the early morning when the first rays of light were starting to awaken the day. The birds were already singing, and she could hear the rooster crowing from the chicken coop. She'd just poured a cup of coffee when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart quickened just a bit because she was not expecting anyone, especially so early in the morning. She looked out the window in the parlor and saw Jarrod standing on her porch. She tied her robe around her, thankful she'd put it on when she'd left her room.
"Jarrod," she greeted when she opened the door. They had not seen once another since their lunch together a few weeks before.
"Jaq, uh…I know it's early."
Jaq backed away from the door allowing Jarrod to enter. He stepped inside the foyer and had his hat in his hand. He looked around briefly, admiring the house and the work Jaq had done. Except for sitting with Jaq on the porch swing when he had told her about Beth's death, he hadn't been to her house.
"Is everything alright?" Jaq asked. "Is Victoria-"
"She's fine. Recovering. She has been up and about some."
Jaq nodded, thankful to hear the good news. Jaq knew everyone had been worried when Victoria had become ill. From what she knew of the Barkley matriarch, it didn't happen often.
"I wanted to take you up on your offer to come by and talk. Then I realized after I'd knocked…I'm sorry it's early," Jarrod said, regretting disturbing her so early and turned toward the door to leave. Jaq reached out and touched his arm. Jarrod turned to her. His blue eyes held such sorrow that Jaq had to look away.
"Why don't you go sit in the parlor and I'll bring you some coffee."
Jarrod did as Jaq suggested. He didn't sit but walked around the room and looked at the different paintings she'd hung. He also saw the portrait of Jaq and Paul that had been hanging in the cottage in Nevada. He wasn't sure why, but he'd felt the pull to see Jaq from the moment his eyes had opened hours before. From their time spent together at her ranch in Nevada, he knew she was an early riser. He normally didn't get up so early but since finding out about Beth's death, he found sleep alluding him and he'd often go riding. The family had gotten used to him being gone for hours and although they were worried about him, no one questioned his absence. He rode around for several hours until the sun started to rise and found himself at her house.
Jaq returned a few minutes later and was dressed, a cup of coffee in each hand. She handed one to Jarrod and sat on the settee. Jarrod joined her. They drank their coffee in companionable silence.
Jarrod finished his coffee and set it on the small table in front of him. He looked at Jaq who was watching him. Her expression was neutral, and he again was thankful that she didn't look at him with pity and sadness.
He asked, "How is it you've been through so much and yet you still are one of the most amazing and strong women I've ever met?"
Jaq's eyes widened.
"I wouldn't say I'm amazing. And I'm not sure about being strong, but it is sweet of you to say."
"Mountains do not rise without earthquakes," Jarrod said softly, looking down at his hands in his lap. Jarrod then looked over at the portrait of Jaq and Paul. Jaq followed his gaze.
"Does it ever get easier?" Jarrod asked.
Jaq sighed. "I wouldn't say it gets easier. It…well, it becomes normal? As though you don't remember what it was like before. I don't remember what I was like before Louisa and Paul's deaths."
Jarrod stood and paced. He felt himself becoming angry and balled his fists. Injustice was something he couldn't accept and what Jaq had been through, what he had been through, it was all unjust. The problem was there was no absolution in either of their cases. It was only the pain of being survivors and they were left with emptiness in their hearts.
"Jarrod?" Jaq called out to him softly, placing her cup next to his on the table. He stopped at the fireplace, and she stood before him.
"You're allowed to feel what you're feeling. You can be angry. You can be sad. You can find that you're happy for days at a time and then the sadness comes again. There's no time limit on grief. I still have moments that I want to rail against the world for everything that's happened and to be honest, sometimes I do. Sometimes I scream and cry."
Jarrod took a deep, shuddering breath. He then took a step toward Jaq and pulled her into his arms. She didn't resist and he lowered his head, their lips touching. It wasn't a chaste kiss, but one of hunger and desire. Jaq closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of Jarrod's body against hers.
When they broke apart, Jarrod kept his hands on Jaq's waist, looking into her eyes. He wanted to make sure she wasn't upset with him. All he saw was evidence that she cared for him. It was as clear as day.
"I should go," he said, his voice quiet, his hands still on her waist.
Jaq put her arms up onto Jarrod's shoulders. A hand played with the back of his hair, causing Jarrod to tighten his hold on Jaq.
"You aren't going to break your promise to me, are you?" she asked softly. At his questioning look she continued, "You told me you wanted to kiss me again. But we both wanted to make sure we each knew who we were kissing. I know for a fact I was kissing you, Jarrod Barkley. Were you kissing me?"
"Yes," he replied, his voice husky. He remembered what else he'd told her at the lodge.
"You also said if you kissed me again, you'd want more. You'd want it all," Jaq continued, her eyes on Jarrod's lips. Her eyes met his and she noticed how his eyes darkened with desire. Her mouth slowly turned into a seductive smile.
Jarrod returned the smile and knew he wanted Jaq more than anything at that moment.
"Jaq, if we do this…I know this isn't exactly the most romantic way to say this but…if we do this, I want us to be married. As soon as we can. I want you in my life forever."
"I want that too, Jarrod. I only ask one thing."
"Name it."
Jaq took a deep breath and took a step back, pulling away from Jarrod.
"We'll have the rest of our lives for romance and to take things slowly. It's been so long since I've felt loved the way I know you can love me. I don't want to prolong it…I want you to follow me into the bedroom and with all the pent-up passion we both have, I want us to give ourselves to each other fully. I'm not inexperienced. I don't need you to be gentle. I don't plan to be demure."
Jarrod smiled. He felt his body respond to Jaq's words and he allowed her to lead him into her bedroom. The two quickly divested themselves of their clothes and Jarrod lay Jaq on the bed then covered her with his body. He kissed her deeply and she moaned in anticipation of them joining as one.
"Now Jarrod, please," she begged as his hands ran down the length of her. He entered her and both were lost in the ecstasy of the moment, her legs wrapped tightly around him. It didn't take long for Jaq to find her fulfillment and she tightened against him, saying his name over and over. Jarrod found his release a moment later, letting out a cry of bliss that made Jaq smile. She held him close and felt him shudder. He buried his head in her neck, needing a moment to catch his breath. He rolled over and pulled her to him.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his breathing coming in gasps.
"Yes," Jaq said as she played with the hairs on his chest. Her legs were entangled with his.
Jarrod kissed her forehead and smiled in delight as Jaq held him more tightly. He'd missed the physical part of marriage, of course. But what he'd missed most was being held and feeling secure afterward. For the first time in a long while, he knew he had it.
As they lay facing one another, Jarrod's hand rested on Jaq's hip. Jaq ran her fingers across his chest, then up along his face. A finger tracing his lips, then down his throat, then further down.
"Jaq," Jarrod said softly.
"Hmm?"
"The rest of our lives starts now," he said. She looked up at him and smiled as Jarrod began the exploration of Jaq's body, going slowly and taking his time.
By the time Jarrod arrived home, the sun was high in the sky. He knew lunch would be served soon but afterwards he needed to go into town. He asked Ciego to take Jingo and informed him he'd be taking the carriage into town after lunch. Jarrod planned to pick up Jaq later that day to bring her to the ranch for dinner so they could make their announcement.
Victoria made it down for lunch and Jarrod kissed her on the cheek.
"Hello, Lovely Lady. How are you feeling?"
"Much better, thank you."
It was just Jarrod and Victoria for lunch as Nick and Heath were out on the range. Audra was spending the day helping at the school. The two ate and enjoyed a leisurely lunch. Jarrod was happy to see the color back in Victoria's cheeks. She'd given them all a scare with how ill she'd been.
Victoria was enjoying her time with Jarrod immensely. For so long, ever since the shooting, his eyes seemed shadowed and sad. There was now a lightness about him that she hadn't seen in a while. Victoria couldn't help but wonder if Jaq had anything to do with the change she saw in her oldest son. As though Jarrod had read her mind, he wiped his mouth with his napkin and stood.
"If you're up to it, I'm going to bring Jaq by for dinner tonight?"
Victoria smiled. "Of course, Jarrod. I look forward to seeing her again."
Jarrod smiled broadly and bent to kiss his mother goodbye. You'll be seeing a lot more of her soon, he thought to himself.
Later that afternoon Jaq was sitting on her porch enjoying time on the swing Heath had built and installed for her. She'd tried to pay him for his work, but he insisted it was a housewarming gift from him and Elsa. The next time Jaq was in town, she picked up a small gift for Leah and hoped to give it to Heath and Elsa at dinner.
She saw Jarrod approaching in a carriage and waved. As she watched him climb down from the carriage and secure the horses, she couldn't help but think about that morning and their time together. She was looking forward to more mornings like that happening very soon.
Jarrod came up to sit on the swing with her, knowing they had a few minutes before they had to leave. He leaned over and gave her a kiss, fighting the urge to deepen it. He knew if he did, they'd be late for dinner, if they made it at all. He broke the kiss and took Jaq's hand in his own. He felt complete contentment as Jaq laid her head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss atop her head and the two sat in silence, enjoying their time together.
"Jaq, about the wedding…"
Jaq sat up and looked at Jarrod, waiting for him to continue.
"I don't want to wait long. Maybe two weeks from today?" he asked, watching her face.
"I'm good with that. I honestly expected you to bring a judge with you when you picked me up tonight," Jaq said with a teasing gleam in her eyes. Jarrod laughed.
"It was tempting, believe me. It's just…well…"
"Well what?" Jaq asked, curious as to what Jarrod was getting at.
"You know Beth and I eloped?" Jaq nodded. "I don't regret that. But I want a wedding this time. An actual wedding. I want my brothers to stand with me. I want to see you walk down the aisle in a beautiful dress and then come back here and take my time removing it from you."
Jaq felt she couldn't breathe. She didn't care anything about a big wedding and was only half joking when she mentioned Jarrod bringing a judge with him. She'd had her wedding day complete with a beautiful white gown and all the frills. She would have been content with a quick ceremony and then the two of them starting their lives right then. But she could tell how important this was to Jarrod and she would never dream of denying him.
"I think that sounds perfect," she said, smiling.
Jarrod checked his pocket watch and knew it was time for them to leave. He and Jaq stood, and he couldn't resist leaning in for another kiss. Jaq's arms wrapped around him and he gave in to his longing to make the kiss more intimate. Jaq responded in kind and Jarrod pulled her closer to him. As they broke apart, Jarrod put his hands on Jaq's face.
"If we don't leave now, we won't make it for dinner," he said, his voice soft. His eyes scanned her face then met her eyes. His head lowered again.
They parted and Jaq sighed. "How about if we pick up right here when you bring me back tonight?"
Jarrod smiled. "You just read my mind."
The two had no idea they were being watched from someone sitting in the small grove a trees nearby.
The family was gathered in the parlor when Jaq and Jarrod arrived at the house. Jaq was excited to see Victoria and gave the older woman a gentle hug. She then handed a small package to Elsa.
"A thank you to you both for the swing," Jaq enthused. Elsa opened the package and smiled.
"Oh Jaq, it's so beautiful!" Elsa said excitedly, giving the other woman a hug. Jaq had purchased a lovely pink baby bonnet with matching dress and shoes. It was extremely lacey and frilly. Heath nodded his thanks to Jaq.
Jaq sat on the settee next to Elsa and the two women began to chat. Jarrod had shared with Jaq that he wanted to announce their engagement after dinner.
Jarrod watched Jaq and loved how easily she fit in with his family. It was as though she'd always been there.
The family enjoyed dinner and the discussion was lively. Victoria loved having everyone together but knew she would need to retire soon as she still wasn't feeling her best. Still, seeing all her children so happy did her heart a world of good. She noticed Jarrod especially seemed as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
They adjourned to the billiard room and Jarrod looked to Jaq who gave him a small nod.
"Everyone," Jarrod called to them. Heath and Nick had just broken out the pool cues while the ladies were sitting on the settee. Jarrod cleared his throat.
"This may seem sudden or maybe not. But I have some news to share," Jarrod said. He held his hand out to Jaq and she stood and walked over to him, taking his hand.
"I asked Jaq to marry me this morning. We want to be married in two weeks."
Everyone moved toward the couple to give their congratulations. There were hugs and kisses all around and everyone seemed genuinely pleased. Nick especially seemed happy.
"It's about time Pappy," Nick said as he gave Jarrod a brotherly hug.
"Two weeks isn't a lot of time," Audra stated.
Both Jaq and Jarrod felt two weeks was an eternity but neither corrected the younger woman. The rest of the adults hid their smiles.
"What about a dress for you, Jaq? I don't know that one can be made in that short of time?" Audra asked. She then brightened and said, "What if we went to San Francisco! I'm sure we could find something there."
Jaq smiled, thinking that was a good idea. Jarrod thought so as well.
"I think we can make that happen," he said. Audra frowned.
"You'd be coming too?" she asked.
"Well, I don't see why not?"
"You can't see the dress before the wedding," Audra insisted. Jarrod smiled.
"How about if I accompany both you lovely ladies and while you're shopping, I'll meet with a few firms in the area and put out feelers to open my practice again there?"
Jarrod realized he hadn't spoken to Jaq about the idea. He had just thought of it that afternoon and was going to mention it when he took her home. He looked in her direction and could tell she was surprised. She didn't seem upset though and she smiled at Jarrod.
Victoria wanted to weep with all the wonderful news she was hearing. She had grown to care a lot for Jaq and was happy that she would officially become a part of their family.
