Note: I know Edward has been awful, but I love a redemption arc! I'm a sucker for them. Also since I'm basing this off the love story of James, Betty, & Augustine from Taylor Swift's Album Folklore, I had to follow that story somewhat, and James is a bit of a fuckboy if you listen to the lyrics haha.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy my attempt at a redemption arc!

Also the next chapter after this one will be a small one from Tanya's point of view, since she deserves to tell her side of things.

...

"Bella, I'm only 17 and I don't know anything, but I know I love you, and I'll never regret anything more than I regret hurting you. I've never felt about someone the way I feel about you, Bella. "

I was talking to my mirror, practicing for when I showed up at her party in just 30 short minutes. I was arriving an hour after it started so it would at least be in full swing, and maybe there would be less attention drawn to my declaration to her.

That was unlikely.

I stare at myself in the mirror.

I'm wearing that same dark blue flannel she complimented once and some light blue jeans. My hair is a bit longer now, so it falls in a messy, floppy, bronze wreck around my head. I put on my old black adidas, and give myself one last look over in the mirror.

I look nervous.

I feel like I might crawl out of my skin.

This would the first time she saw my face since that day in July, in front of the mall.

She avoided the cafeteria all week and I'd only spotted her once from across the school parking lot on Thursday.

This could be last time I see her face if she told me to leave her alone forever.

Will she tell me to go fuck myself in front of everyone?

I deserve it.

If she said she never wanted to see me again I'd only catch short glimpses of her in the hallway or school parking lot, if I was lucky.

This couldn't be the last time.

It would kill me.

I had let my love for Bella over take me fully.

I just wanted her to give me another chance to prove how she was everything to me. To worship her, and give her the world.

I take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair.

I have been so horrible these last few months.

I had talked to Tanya after school the second day of school to apologize for using her like I had. She cried and it was uncomfortable, but I stayed and held her as she cried, and I apologized some more.

I was going to stop fucking up.

I'll just skate to her party now.

That should take at least 20 minutes. Maybe it'd help me get rid of some of this nervous energy.

As I skate up to her house I can see that the party is indeed in full swing. I see moving bodies through the living window and cars line her driveway and street.

This was it. As I stand here under her porch light, I try and think over how this is going to go. I set m board down under the small bench on her porch and wipe my palms on my jeans.

I fucking hate crowds, and at parties I would normally just seclude myself to a room, with a girl. Plus drinking at parties generally helped ease my anxieties somewhat. But I wasn't going to drink tonight.

I was going to find Bella, and apologize.

I take a deep breath as I open the door and walk in. I can tell from how loud the music is on the porch no one would hear me if I knocked.

I spot her immediately.

She's at the bottom of the stairs in a silky little black dress that hugs every inch of her beautiful body perfectly. Her long straight shiny brown hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, leaving ever beautiful inch of her pale neck and chest in full view. The dress stops just above her knees, and of course her feet were adorned with her usual black converse.

Her face is breathtaking.

She has on that red lipstick again, making her beautiful pout stand out. Her lashes are long and coated in mascara, making her big brown eyes pop even more.

Her natural pink blush colors her cheeks.

She's talking to Alice and some other girl I don't recognize. Nodding at something they are saying to her.

I feel that familiar electricity flare up now that she is so close. Only 10 ft away, at most.

It's as if she feels it too and can feel my eyes on her, she quickly turns her head and looks directly at me.

My dark green eyes meet her big brown ones, hers are laced with sadness as they meet mine. A little frown taking over her lips.

She wasn't happy to see me.

This wasn't going to go well.

This had all been a huge mistake.

She starts walking towards me and I feel like I've been lit on fire.

She stops just in front of me and looks up to meet my eyes again.

"We need to talk, Edward."

My stomach flutters at the sound of her saying my name. It's been so long since I heard her say it. Since I'd heard her speak at all. Her voice is still as soft and beautiful as ever.

I nod and she begins walking towards the kitchen. I follow her as she leads me out the back door into the garden.

No ones out here, and it's dark.

Only lit by the stars and pale moon light.

She turns and looks at me. That same little frown on her lips. A crease between her brows. I want to reach out and smooth it. Kiss her and hear her gasp and moan my name.

She lets out a soft breath and speaks.

"I feel like things have gotten really muddled between us, and I just want you to know there's no hard feelings. It okay that you didn't want more with me. I just wish you had warned me from the start." She looks off as she says the last part. A flash of pain in her lovely eyes lit dimly by the light of the moon.

"I wanted more with you, Bella. I still want more with you Bella. I know I haven't acted like it, but I've never felt this way before. I've never loved someone before the way I love you, and I just don't know how to be."

It all comes out in a rush. Not at all how I had intended.

Bella looks at me her little mouth hanging open and her eyes wide.

Her mouth snaps shut and she nearly shouts back at me.

"Love!? Edward, you don't love me! You don't treat people you love how you've treated me!"

Anger surges through me at her denial of my feelings, and I move closer to her.

"Bella, I know how I've treated you was horrible, and I may be an absolute failure at expressing myself, but I do know I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. I'm never going to stop loving you, Bella."

Hurt flashes in her eyes, and I see tears began to pool in them.

"You're not allowed to come here and make declarations of love when you dumped and replaced me in a second! You are not allowed to lie to me anymore, Edward Cullen!"

I feel like I'm failing at this miserably. I can feel tears began to well up in my own eyes.

She doesn't understand.

She doesn't believe me.

"Bella, I could never replace you. I made a stupid mistake, when I was trying to forget you. I was dumb enough to think that was possible. I misunderstood what I saw when I showed up to the dance that night to surprise you. I thought you were with James. It tore me apart to see you with him, and then I just ran and didn't listen to reason. I stayed away from you, and I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry, Bella."

The tears began to fall down my face and I see they're falling down hers as well.

"Tore you up!? Tore YOU up!? God, that's rich Edward! You didn't even have the decency to call me, but you could fuck Tanya behind the mall just fine!"

Her voice is harsh through her tears. And a stabbing pain fills my stomach at her words.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I choke out through my own tears.

Bella wipes at her cheeks with the back of her hand and takes a deep breath.

"I don't know how to trust you again, you tore my heart out and crushed it when I gave you everything."

She looks at me with her big beautiful brown eyes.

Still filled with tears she's fighting not to spill.

"I know. I know I don't ever deserve your trust again, let alone your time. But Bella I love you, whether you believe me or not, I fucking love you. I would give anything to take back what I did to you. I'll never forgive myself for it. I'd do anything if you'd give me another chance, Bella."

Anger suddenly colors her features, but her eyes meet mine and her features soften a bit.

"I want to believe you so badly, Edward. But you humiliated me. I'd look like a pathetic moron to run right back to you."

Her eyes look sad as the gazes into mine

I let her words wash over me.

"I don't care what others have to say and think about us, Bella. I care about how you feel. If there's even a tiny speck of you that loves me back, please just give me another chance."

Her eyes look torn and I can see the edges of her resolve fading.

I move closer to her and gently cup her cheek.

"I do love you, Edward. But it hurts." She says so quietly.

My stomach dances at her declaration that she loves me too.

The familiar electricity hums between us stronger as my hand holds her cheek.

She leans into my hand and sighs softly.

I slowly lean forward and her eyes close and I gently press my lips to hers. Her mouth is so warm, and fits against mine so perfectly. She responds to my kiss, and her lips began to move with mine. I deepen the kiss pushing my tongue into her mouth and tasting her. I've missed her mouth so much. I let out an unintentional and embarrassingly loud moan as my tongue dances with hers, then suddenly she pulls back and jumps away from me if she's been electrocuted.

We're both breathing heavily. Her red lipstick is a bit smeared and I know it's probably all over my lips.

"No. I won't fall for this again."

She says with angry eyes looking at me. She wipes at the edges of her mouth carefully, trying to fix her lipstick.

I feel the sadness flood me.

"But you love me, too." I croak out quietly.

Her eyes soften a little as they look at me.

"I do Edward, but I can't just jump right back into this with you. I need more time. To take things slow."

A flare of hope fills my chest.

She wasn't saying no, and she wasn't sending me away.

I can go slow. I can give her time.

I'd wait forever for her.

It wasn't too late after all.

I began to nod.

"I can do slow. Just please don't say it's over." I croak out through tears.

Bella steps toward me and gently cups my check with her soft hand. I can feel her began to gently wipe away the tears there.

"Please don't cry, Edward. If you're patient with me, and we take things slowly, I'll try with you again. Just please talk to me, don't assume you know what I think and feel."

I nod eagerly and pull her towards my chest.

Leaning down to bury my face in her shoulder.

"Thank you thank you thank you, Bella." I mumble against her skin. She smells so incredible all freesia and strawberries. I could be satisfied standing here, just smelling her forever.

She softly pushes her hands against my chest, and I release her.

She's smiling up at me, her eyes still look sad, but it's a start. She wipes the lipstick off my mouth with her thumb and I feel that familiar electricity flow between us.

"I have to go back inside, it's my party after all."

Right! It was her birthday party!

"Happy birthday!" I blurt out hurriedly.

She smiles wider at me and it actually touches her eyes.

"Thank you. Are you going to stay?"

It feels like there's butterflies in stomach at the idea she wants me to stay.

"If you'd like me to, I will."

I reply shyly.

She nods and gently grabs my hand pulling me behind her as she walks inside.

I feel like I'm floating on air trailing behind her. She drops my hand as we enter her living room where most of the party is.

I feel a sharp pain in my gut when she drops my hand, but I know she wants to take this slow.

She turns back and glances at me, giving me a small smile before she turns back and continues walking towards Alice, who is dancing among the rest.

I lean against the wall, never taking my eyes off of Bella as she dances.

Soon cake is carried out of the kitchen by Jacob, the large Native American boy I had seen her with before, and everyone starts singing happy birthday. I still feel jealousy fill my chest when I see him, but Bella hand introduced him to me as friend from childhood and I did my best to act polite and bite back my jealousy.

I stay in the back corner of the room, never taking my eyes off Bella's glowing, blushing face. She hates the attention, but takes it like a champ. Putting on a big smile and blowing out the candles. I can tell how nervous she is from how deeply she's blushing.

The party begins to wind down at around midnight, when Alice has Jasper and Emmett start telling people it's time to go. Rosalie, Emmetts girlfriend who really can't stand me, so we rarely see each other, sneers at me as she walks past me. Emmett trails behind her as she walks out, and he smiles and pats me on the shoulder as he passes me. Jacob scoops Bella into a close hug in his arms and I feel that jealously surge again. I turn to look away, I needed to stop being an idiot.

Soon it's just Alice, Bella and I.

They both start cleaning up and I grab a trash bag and trail behind them helping pick up trash and wiping up messes.

At 1AM we've managed to clean everything up, and make it look the same as it did before, so Charlie won't notice anything awry.

Alice turns and looks at me with a smile.

"So you want to ride home with me, Edward?"

I nod and look over to Bella.

She's looking at me with a worried expression.

That little crease between her brows ago.

Alice gives her a hug and says she'll wait outside for me.

I slowly step towards Bella, never taking my eyes from hers.

Suddenly she wraps her arms around my waist pressing her face against my chest.

It feels like heaven to have her pressed against me again.

"Thanks for coming." She mumbles into my chest.

I stroke her hair, that has been taken out of a ponytail hours ago. It feels like silk beneath my hand. My other hand wraps around her back tightly holding her to me.

"Thank you, for forgiving me."

Bella begins to pull away and I instantly release her.

She smiles up at me. It still looks somewhat sad, but I can see love in her eyes.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella." I reply with a smile and turn and leave, walking outside to meet Alice.

Tonight feels like a win.

I can't stop smiling the whole drive home.

Bella Swan loves me, and she was giving me another chance.

I felt as if I was floating on air as I drifted to sleep, having collapsed in bed the moment we arrived home.

I dreamt only of Bella, the sound of her saying she loved me coloring my dreams all night long.