Note: This chapter is a very short one from Tanya's perspective. Hope you enjoy! I actually really enjoyed writing this one. Let's just say I know how unrequited love feels haha.
Also thank you so so much for the reviews. They've been really encouraging, and last time I attempted FanFiction they were quite the opposite; and I became quite discouraged and quit. So I really appreciate the positivity, as it's really hard for me to share my writing sometimes when I over think it.
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EDWARD 2:10PM: I'm not coming.
I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.
I feel the tears well up in my eyes and start to spill over, I flip down the sun shield and slide open the little mirror attached to the back of it.
My face is already blotchy, and the tears have made my eyeliner start to run. I began to wipe at it with a tissue from my glove box.
I knew this day would come again, I had just hoped it'd be later in the summer.
That'd I'd at least have Edward for a little bit longer.
We'd only been together twice this summer.
The first time in my house, when everyone was away.
The next time hurriedly behind the mall, in the cab of my truck.
Our plan today was for him to skate here again to meet me, and then I'd drive us to the old lookout point.
My mom was back in town, and there was no way she'd allow a boy up into my room.
She's fine leaving for weeks at a time blissfully thinking Irina and I will behave like angels, but when she's here it's all rules and curfews.
Dad spends most of the week in Seattle. Coming home to us on the weekends to pretend like we're some sort of real family.
I slide the little mirror closed and flip the shade back up, and take a deep breath. That familiar ache fills my chest. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I press all my pain over Edward back into the little box held inside me and forced all my pain into; so I could act cool and collected again.
Like a good girl.
It made me sick to my stomach, but I didn't want to have to feel it. Pine over him, and mourn my loss of him again.
Though I know in the middle of the night, I'll break down and silently cry. I always do.
Edward was meant for me.
I knew it the first moment I spotted him across the cafeteria, the first day of Sophomore year.
He was so fucking hot.
He still is, his features have only gotten sharper and more defined over the last year.
His dark green eyes felt like they could see right through me.
His smile was heartbreaking. Just a little bit crooked, but still perfection.
His jaw was so sharp, and he was so tall, and handsome as hell.
How could I have fooled myself into believing that I had finally had him?
He had been mooning over the new girl, Bella Swan, since the moment she arrived back in January.
I thought for sure I would never feel his lips against mine again, the way he was constantly glued to her.
But then one beautiful summer day she was nowhere to be seen, and Edward was there, walking down the sidewalk alone.
His beautiful brow furrowed deep in thought.
His usual pale skin was now slightly sun kissed.
I slowed my truck to a stop next to him and leaned over to the window to offer him a ride.
When he had asked to go to my house, my heart felt like it jumped into my throat.
I could feel the excitement fill me. I was buzzing with it.
He was finally done with Bella Swan, and had finally come back to me.
How dumb I had been.
It had just been a stupid summer fling.
God, I was such an idiot.
The rest of summer seemed to drag on forever.
Every time my phone would go off, a part of me would wish that it was him. Telling me he'd changed his mind and wanted me again. Will he call when we are back at school?
I am so pathetic.
When I did finally talk to Edward again, it was the second day back at school.
He had approached me at my locker after school and shyly asked if we could talk.
He was still as fucking heartbreakingly beautiful as ever.
I led him out to where I parked, and I leaned back against my truck. I turned towards him where he stood in front of me, in his grey t-shirt and oh so well fit blue jeans.
His hair was longer than it had been in earlier July. It was still as chaotic as ever.
God how I wanted to run my fingers through it again.
Edward finally began to speak,
"Tanya, I just wanted to apologize for how terribly I've treated you. I know how you feel about me, and still I used you, even though I don't feel the same as you...I'm so sorry. "
It feels like my little box of pain in my chest has burst open, and I realize I had still been holding on to a little strand of hope that he would come back to me again.
Now that was gone. All gone.
I could feel the tears fall down my cheeks, and Edward pulled me into his chest.
My tears darkened his grey t-shirt in little wet blotches, and I let his sweet smell wash over me, as I cried out all the tears I'd been holding in.
I heard Edward mumbling "I'm so sorry." Over and over into my hair as he held me.
This was the end. It was over.
He was never mine to lose.
My tears slowly subside, and I awkwardly wipe at my cheeks as I pull away from him.
His arms fall to his sides and he looks at me sadly.
"I hope you can forgive me someday, Tanya."
I nod and quickly turn to unlock my truck door.
I hear him turn and walk away, and I fight the urge to turn and watch him leave.
I am stronger than that.
I wipe at my face and eyes with a tissue, until I know there's not a trace of eyeliner or mascara left on me.
I know I must look miserably blotchy, and puffy. Pathetic.
I was not going to go home like this.
I drive to the look out point, the one I was suppose to go to with Edward that summer day, well over a month ago now.
I get out of my truck and sit on the little stone bench in front of the small 3 ft tall stone wall that lines the ridge of the lookout.
A beautiful view of lush trees and the wide rushing river below.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I carefully listen to the sounds around me.
The soft breeze, the rushing water below, the birds singing in the trees.
There is so much life around me.
So much of my own life yet to be lived.
I'm only 17, I'll be 18 in December.
This indiscretion with Edward was just nothing more than a moment in my youth, that one day I would forget the details of, and probably laugh about how forlorn I'd once been over a silly teenage boy.
I would get over him.
Love unreturned, is not love at all.
This I would survive.
And one day I'll love someone, and they will love me back.
