I'm too tired to proof read. Expect mistakes.
xXx
"You guys, if I eat any more I swear I'm going to throw up on Kyou-kun's shirt," they all gave her looks of disbelief, but Kyou took a discreet step back anyway. A glint of amusement shone in Usagi's blue eyes, but it didn't last, for the two hands on her shoulders still kept her firmly seated. The rabbit turned toward the door as Shigure walked in, and her face shone her hopeful plea. "Gure-chan save me!"
To her grave disappointment, Shigure burst into hysterical laughter at the sight presented to him; Hatsuharu and Kyou holding down a squirming Usagi, while Yuki tried to shove more food in her mouth. If only he hadn't used up all that film. After he calmed down a bit, however, he said reasonably, "Really, if you make her sick you'll only make the situation worse." For his efforts, he was nearly tackled as the grateful girl leapt from the kitchen table.
"Thank you, Gure-chan! Now I need a nap. Too much food," she patted her stomach with a frown, "I'll probably never eat ice cream again. What a pity." The silver haired girl disappeared from the kitchen, still muttering audibly to herself, even though she knew that particular resolve wouldn't last past the next day. A few minutes later, she fell into her pillows and openly welcomed sleep.
Several hours passed before she rose, achy and groggy. The return from the main house that morning passed in such a whirlwind, her mild but apparent injuries were just now catching up. Her back felt sore, sensitive, most likely from its violent contact with a wall. As she pulled the covers away, Usagi noticed with a groan that her ankle was swollen to an impressive size.
Still she got up, and walked slowly around her bedroom, until the pain of walking faded to a dull twinge. Changing into shorts and a tee shirt, she slipped a pair of socks on to hide her ankle and a pair of tennis shoes. She glanced in the mirror again, noticing the faint, crescent shaped marks on the side of her face where Akito's nails broke the skin. Pulling her silver hair in a ponytail, she let a few pieces fall around her face, effectively hiding them.
Walking downstairs, Usagi heard the muffled voices coming from the living room, so she turned and headed for the door. The thought of being outside felt very inviting at the moment, and the roof would be a good spot to observe the late evening scenery. When she opened the door to step out, however, she nearly ran into a figure standing in the entry way.
"Usagi, good. I need to speak with you." Setsuna dropped the hand she would've knocked with. Usagi tilted her head, not missing the underlying anxiousness in the woman's voice, and searched her expression with some confusion. They weren't exactly friends, Usagi didn't know the outer scouts half as well as the inners, and Setsuna presented the biggest enigma of all of them.
To see her looking so edgy made her feel that way as well. Regardless, she nodded and followed her through Shigure's yard, along the path that led into town. They stopped a little ways away, and let silence settle between them for a moment.
"What's going on?" Usagi asked, finally tired of the echo of birds being the only sound she heard. Setsuna turned and faced her, garnet hued eyes unreadable but not unemotional. So many different things ran through them that the rabbit couldn't sort through any of it.
"I have a confession, something you would've found out eventually, but I want you to hear it from me," Setsuna's voice was flat and calm, the same tone she always used, but her eyes still betrayed her. Plus the fact that Usagi could practically feel the turmoil and chaos of emotions radiating from her very being. She nodded, and gentle prod for her to continue. "Hatori is not the one who suppressed yours or Yuki's memories when you were a child. I used magic on both of you, to keep them buried until you saw each other again. I also put the glamour on you that made you look like Usagi Tsukino."
"What? Why?" Usagi found she could only utter these two words before her vocal chords sealed shut on her completely. Out of sheer reflex she took a step back, as if observing the time guardian from a further distance would make her understand. It did not.
"You have to understand, I did what was only necessary, because of my duty. If you hadn't been in Juuban, if you hadn't saved Luna from those kids and became Sailor Moon, the world would have been destroyed. I didn't have a choice." This time, Setsuna's voice held a bit of desperation. Usagi stood still, trying to comprehend everything at hand, trying to understand.
"It's okay," she finally muttered. The words held nothing behind them; not her usual lighthearted smile, or her careless laughter. The hands at her sides clenched into fists, her eyelids dropped closed, but still she repeated, "It's okay, Setsuna. I understand. Thank you for telling me yourself. Now, I think I should get back before they realize I'm missing."
"Yes, you're right," Setsuna nodded, though her eyes still looked torn with chaos. Usagi wished she could offer more comfort, but yet again news came that hit her very hard and she had to get away for a while. As she entered the yard again, though, Momiji immediately sprinted toward her, enveloping her in a hug.
"Usa-chan!" Despite his usual cheerful behavior, Usagi could tell he'd been worried about her, and she felt bad for leaving so abruptly. "We're all going to play a game! Tohru even got Kyou to play so we only need you. Come on!" Usagi smiled as the enthusiastic blonde boy dragged her back into the house.
xXx
"Are you staying the night again, Haru-chan?" Usagi looked up from her math homework with a smile, grateful for the distraction. After the several chaotic rounds of 'Dai Hin Min,' the first time she'd ever played, everyone went their separate ways. Seeing that she really had nothing else to do, the rabbit conceded to work on her dreaded homework. At least, she could relax fully tomorrow.
"Yeah," the white haired teen nodded as he flopped down lazily on her bed. Hatsuharu sat there, still under her amused gaze, before he sat up to look at her paper. In a flat voice, he told her, "They're both wrong."
Usagi turned back to the notebook paper and groaned; she'd only answered two. Her head dropped to the desk and she sighed, wishing she had Ami there to help her. At this rate, she'd flunk her math class horribly. Hatsuharu frowned and nudged her, making her sit up in the chair to look at him. "You should get Yuki to help you. He gets good grades."
"I wouldn't want to bother him," Usagi replied hesitantly, shrugging. Calmly, she erased the answers on her paper and recopied the problems. Sifting through her bag, she pulled out her notes to look over. A frown came to her face when she realized they made no sense. At the time, her mind had been focused on the weekend's movie night and the subsequent visit with Akito.
"I'm sure it wouldn't be a bother. What's wrong?" Hatsuharu asked. The question surprised Usagi, and she turned to him with her head tilted in confusion, inquiry. Still, he interpreted the silent question and went on, "You were distracted when you came back with Momiji. You aren't still upset about--"
"No, it's not that. Actually, you going Black didn't scare me quite as much as it used to. If we were kids, I'd still be avoiding you." A smile lit up her face before she turned back down to the math book, working through the problem slowly, step by step. Softly, she continued, "It's just, my friend Setsuna showed up and told me something... unexpected. It's really nothing. Is this right?"
Hatsuharu leaned over to glance at the paper again, before he shook his head negative, frowning as Usagi dropped her head in her hands with a sigh. Neither of them spoke for a moment, as the silver haired girl lowered her hands to her lap and stared at the problem on the paper desperately, as though waiting for it to solve itself. Finally, she said, "I'm scared."
Closing her math book, she tossed her pencil on the desk in defeat and pushed the homework away from her. Turning, her elbow propped on the desk and she rested her cheek against her hand as she looked at Hatsuharu. He did not move, but his brown eyes never left her face, showing clearly that he was listening.
"I'm scared of the pain. Of everyone around me, of everything that's happened, I'm scared that all the hurt will swallow me whole. Everyone here in the Sohma family, the ones affiliated with us, even Tohru-chan, they suffer so much so quietly. As I walk by them I can feel it, sense it; hear it like whispers in my ears. Some are so soft I can barely hear them, like Gure-chan's, and others are loud and screaming like Akito-kun's.
"I've pretended this has all been a dream, this whole time, and that my friends still remember who I am, that everything will be okay. I try to keep walking forward, I take every step so lightly so I do not step on anyone's heart, but quite suddenly I felt I've been standing on my own this whole time. This afternoon I was hit with something very hard, and it felt like all the lights around me had suddenly been shut off.
"I'm walking around in the dark, trying to save people from drowning, wondering if someday the weight will be too much and I will be dragged down myself. I've always been able to feel other's emotions very well, but I can't feel anything right now. I've heard so many hurtful words that I can even experience the pain that they should bring. I can't feel anything. I can't feel. I can't--"
Usagi couldn't go on. Hatsuharu pulled her close against him as the sobs drowned out her voice, and he held on as tightly as he could without hurting her. "Ame." She buried her face further into his shoulder, the sound of her old name stirring something inside her, something even more painful. "You can't fix everything. You've got to stop trying, because look at what it's doing to you."
"But I w-want," the rabbit paused, her tears and sporadic breathing overwhelming her speech, "I want everyone t-to be ha-happy."
"They can't. Not everyone wants to be happy." Usagi moved from her chair to the bed, next to Hatsuharu, and curled against him completely. The safety she felt in his presence she couldn't find anywhere else; not in her senshi, because they couldn't remember her, not in Mamoru, because he was gone from her, not even in her brother. So she stayed there, even after her cheeks dried completely, and let the soft sound of his heartbeat entrance her into sleep.
xXx
Rays of sunlight fell gently against Usagi's closed eyelids and her face screwed up into a frown. As she shifted her face into the pillow, an unexpected obstacle blocked her and her eyes slid open to observe. The silver haired girl jumped back slightly from reflex, before she remembered the previous night and calmed down. A smile touched her lips at the soft, vulnerable expression over Hatsuharu's face, in place of his usual stoic demeanor.
"Well, sleeping together two nights in a row, you young kids sure are rambunctious." Usagi's eyes jumped up, over Hatsuharu's head, to the figure of Shigure leaning against the door frame. An angry red flushed across her face as she sat up and shouted, "SHIGURE!"
The dog had been pelted with at least ten shoes before he escaped down the hall, chuckling despite himself as he slipped away into his study. Usagi still stood flustered in the open doorway, but she retreated inside and closed the door when Tohru poked her head into the hall, looking concerned. She turned back toward the bed, marveling that Hatsuharu still slept, when the knock came on the door.
"Usagi, are you okay? Your shoes are all over the hall..." The brunette girl trailed from the other side, and Usagi looked around nervously.
"Oh, um, I'm fine. I just, um, well last night I used my shoes to find my way through the hall. You know, it was dark," Usagi stopped, scorning herself for coming up with the most ridiculous lie she'd ever heard.
"Oh, okay..." Tohru said, still sounding a bit confused as she looked around at the shoes. Usagi sweatdropped, wondering if she was humoring her or if she actually believed that lie. "Maybe we should get night lights for the hall."
"Don't believe that stupid lie." Kyou's irritated voice echoed from the hallway next. The blue eyed girl could hear his agitated footsteps up to her door, and he shouted, "Hey you, don't yell so early in the morning. Come pick up your crap!"
His stomping left down the stairs, and Tohru padded after him after a moment or two, leaving Usagi to breathe a sigh of relief. She sauntered into the hall, picking up her scattered footwear and tossing back into her bedroom. Just as she got to the last few pair, Yuki stepped out of his bedroom dazedly, still half asleep. He looked over at her, and asked, "What are you..?"
"This is the product of Shigure bugging you early in the morning. Er, not like that," Usagi added hastily, realizing how that must sound with someone as perverted as Shigure. Yuki just continued to stare at her, somewhat dumbly, and she grinned. "Still not a morning person? Go downstairs, Tohru should be making breakfast."
He at least registered the comment, for he walked off toward the stairway. Usagi smiled and took her shoes back in her room, rearranging them in the closet silently. Then she grabbed a set of clean clothes from the dresser and headed for the bathroom.
Close to an hour later, she stepped from the steamy room in her jeans and tee shirt, a smile coming to her face. Her previously sore ankle felt worlds better, her back didn't hurt at all, and she was starved. For the first time in a while, her appetite hit her full force and she skipped downstairs toward the welcoming smell of breakfast. The only damper on her mood presented in the still angry bruise on her cheek.
As the rabbit entered the kitchen, she noted the silence before she plopped in a seat and reached for a plate. All eyes fell on her as she loaded it full and began inhaling everything at record speeds. The old Usagi started to shine through again.
"Tohru-chan," she started, between bites of egg. The brunette turned her head in inquiry, not even blanching at the fervor the silver haired girl ate with. "I was thinking that you and I should go shopping today. Girls only," she sent pointed looks at Yuki, Kyou, and Hatsuharu, who only stared. They obviously weren't insistent on tagging along.
"Oh, but," Tohru began sheepishly, pulling the pair of eager blue eyes back to her. "Well I don't have any money Usagi."
"It's my treat." Usagi replied instantly, winking. "I have a Sohma allowance that's been building up for nearly ten years. I think we should lighten the load a little bit. Come on, it'll be fun!" At the uneasy expression the brown eyed girl still wore, the rabbit decided to aim for a weakness. She pouted and said, "Unless you don't want to go with me Tohru-chan."
"Oh, no! Of course I'll go!" Tohru continued to ramble in her somewhat high pitched voice frantically, which made Usagi giggle.
"You're almost as bad as Shigure," Yuki said from the other side of the table, shaking his head as Tohru finally calmed down. The blue eyed girl grinned cheekily.
"Well, I did learn from him. Come, Tohru! We'll leave the boys to wash the dishes," Usagi stood and motioned for Tohru to come with her. With one last anxious glance back at the kitchen, the brunette followed Usagi out. The rabbit sprinted upstairs, grabbed her purse from the chest of drawers, and then sped back down to meet Tohru at the door. She made sure the card that Shigure had handed back over to her was in her wallet before they closed the door behind them.
As they walked along the path toward town, Usagi inquired on how Tohru came to live with the Sohmas in the first place. With rapt attention, she listened as Tohru told her story of her mother's death, of living in a tent on the Sohma property, of how Yuki and Shigure had found her out and invited her to stay. They'd reached the city by the time her story ended, leaving Usagi in a silent awe.
"Wow, Tohru-chan. That's amazing. No wonder you've had such an impact on everyone, you have an incredible spirit." Usagi smiled at the blush that highlighted the brown eyed girl's cheeks. They didn't go into it further, speaking only on lighthearted topics afterward. Stopping by the bank, Usagi handed over her card and inquired on the account balance. When she heard the number, her eyes gleamed.
"How much is it?" Tohru asked curiously as Usagi practically skipped over to her, standing near the door.
"Oh, let's just say we can both buy one of any outfit we could possibly want." Usagi grinned, and then went on, "I was thinking that everyone could go to the park next weekend together, and we could have picnic."
"That sounds wonderful," Tohru nodded happily. The blue eyed girl smiled at the well received idea, and thought for a moment.
"Well, we'll need a basket of course. We'll have to buy lots of lunch foods. I can't cook, but you're wonderful at it, and between the two of us I think we can manage. But first and foremost, we both get new dresses!" Usagi declared. "Summer dresses, too, it's about warm enough that we can wear them. We'll bring jackets just in case. In fact, they'll match!"
The silver haired girl rambled on until they reached the premium boutique street, to which she entered the closest store to them. Tohru followed along best she could while the rabbit ran around enthusiastically, before she finally came to a halt holding two dresses. Shoving one in the brunette's arms, she pointed at the dressing room and retreated to her own. After Usagi exited, she waited for a few moments for the other girl to emerge.
"Wow, Tohru, floral is so cute on you!" The girl blushed as soon as she opened the curtain, but couldn't close it again before Usagi pulled her out in front of the mirror. The dress, white, sported pretty red flowers all over it and thin over the shoulder straps, with a thick red band running just under the bust. The length reached respectably near her knees. As the silver haired girl stepped up beside her, Tohru smiled.
"Yours is pretty too, Usagi." Hers, also white, had thin red stripes going horizontally across it, with a thicker red band around the waist and thick red straps to hold it up. Usagi nodded her consent.
"Yes indeed, not a bad start, but not quite good enough. Change back!" They separated, and met again with the dresses in hand, which Usagi returned to the rack. They browsed the store a little more, and left without any purchases. In the next store, Usagi had Tohru try on a blue cami-style dress, to which she quickly declined. "Really cute, but you remind me too much of those creepy stalker girls at school."
The rabbit also tried on a ridiculous denim dress that made them both start laughing, and they ended up leaving another store empty handed. The next store, however, they struck gold in Usagi's eyes as Tohru stepped from the fitting room. She twirled in the thin strapped, crochet white dress. A line ran under the bust and the skirt was double layered, the top white with the dress and the bottom yellow that hung an inch or two longer, ending just above her knees. A yellow ribbon along the waist tied it together, coming to in a bow at the side.
Usagi rang up the dress and refused to let Tohru fuss over it, instead skipping along to the next store to find her own dress. The following store did not present it, but they both got a pair of white rimmed sunglasses and some white ballet flats. Usagi insisted her dress would be white too.
Lo and behold, she was right for she picked out her dress at the next and final store. She picked a white dress, similar to Tohru's, but not with two layers. Beads sequined into the fabric twinkled in the sunlight from the large windows of the store, and the straps were a bit thicker. Along the hem was a pretty embroidered design. Usagi rang up the dress and led them to a fast food restaurant for lunch. She ordered three cheeseburgers to Tohru's one, not to mention two large fries.
"Thank you Usagi. This was really fun. I've never really been on a shopping spree like that," Tohru smiled sheepishly across the table, sending a sideways glance at the bags piled in the booths beside them. The rabbit, already half way done with her first burger, waved her hand in dismissal.
"Really, it was nothing Tohru-chan. Like I said, I'm really grateful for everything you've done for Yuki and the others. This is nothing to compare to that, but still," enthusiasm shone in her eyes as she smiled, "The things you've done mean a lot to me, Tohru-chan, so if you ever need anything, please just ask."
"Oh, but I really haven't done anything and this is more than enough," Tohru protested, growing even more flustered to Usagi's amusement. As the silence settled over them, and the rabbit returned to shoving her burgers down her throat, she continued to send glances across the table. The brunette sipped distractedly at her soft drink, completely oblivious to the attention as she studied a mother and child having a French fry war. Something in her brown eyes looked nostalgic, a little sad, but still cheerful.
'I wonder, is Tohru really that humble or does she just not see the impact she has on others?' Usagi looked toward the ceiling thoughtfully, wiping her face with a napkin. 'Luna used to say I had an impact on people, but I never saw it. I mean, all the girls were already wonderful people, I just brought them to each other.'
"Usagi-chan," the new endearment brought a grin to the silver haired girl's face, and she nodded for Tohru to continue. She turned from the two she was watching to look her in the eyes, "What should we make for the picnic?"
"Odango!" she cheered, laughing, "My Okaasan used to make really good odango. Lemon pie, too, her lemon pie is heavenly. Anyway, sandwiches are a must for any picnic, but they should be cut in triangles. Something about sandwiches being shaped like triangles makes them more delicious."
"My Okaasan used to say the same thing (1)," Tohru said, smiling fondly. Usagi returned the smile full force.
"Hmm, we should also have rice balls." The rabbit chatted animatedly as she continued to list off things they could make for their planned picnic. Tohru listened attentively, laughing at times and contributing her own ideas until the two girls left the fast food restaurant.
xXx
"We should've asked the boys along after all. Oi, help!" The loud, zealous voice of Usagi echoed around the quiet halls of Shigure's home. The silver haired girl made her plea sound more urgent than necessary, apparently, for both Yuki and Kyou sprinted to the entrance hall to make sure neither girl bore injury. The sight that met them instead proved much more comical.
"What the hell is all this?" Kyou asked, feigning indifference over his amusement at the two girls weighed down with grocery bags. Yuki moved forward first, relieving the winded Tohru of her bags, but Usagi had to glare to get the cat moving.
"I'll tell you later, just go to the kitchen," the rabbit responded, leading the way down the hall. Her sandals smacked loudly against the kitchen linoleum as she walked across the room, depositing her armful of remaining bags on the counter. The other three teenagers trailed her in and followed suit, dropping bags on counters, tables, and even the floor in Kyou's case.
"Now, Tohru and I have taken the liberty of planning a picnic next weekend. So if you have anything scheduled, cancel it. This is all the food. I'll tell Haru and Miji tomorrow at school, and I'm going to invite Hotaru. Also, Shigure, Hatori, and yes, even Ayame." Usagi smiled blissfully through the looks she received from Yuki and Kyou at the mention of the last name on her list.
"Um, can I invite Hiro and Kisa?" Tohru asked from the refrigerator door, where she was putting groceries away. Usagi jumped to help her, and nodded enthusiastically at her request.
"The tiger and the sheep, right? I haven't met them properly yet myself. But Tohru-chan, you can invite anyone you want! It's our event, not just mine!" She replied, placing items in the cupboards as she spoke.
"Don't invite the psychic and the Yankee." Kyou said cryptically from the table. He apparently saw no reason to help them put everything away, as displayed in his lack of interest. Tohru, as per her personality, became mildly panicked at his statement.
"But that would hurt Uo-chan and Hana-chan's feelings."
"You can invite them. Kyou's not a conspirer so he gets no say in the matter." Usagi said in an attempt to calm the brunette down. To a degree it proved successful, but Tohru still looked worried as she sifted through the last bag. Yuki settled into a glaring match with Kyou, but they avoided any actual arguing under the blue eyed girl's jagged gaze. It promised hell should they upset Tohru further.
"Oh, Usagi, Haru told me you were having trouble with your math assignment. I could help you if you want," Yuki turned away from Kyou, finally, and toward his younger sister. The shorter girl flushed with embarrassment, her eyes growing wide with his statement. For a moment she looked upset, but the look disappeared quickly.
"Well, it's really no big deal, I can figure it out." Usagi answered. She followed along behind Tohru, fetching things from the fridge so she could prepare dinner and trying to avoid any further conversation on the matter.
"He also said you would say that," Yuki said. After Kyou left the room, deeming the conversation of no further interest to him, the amusement showed clearly in his violet eyes. The rabbit turned to him with a distinct frown over her expression.
"Did he also say how I was going to kill him tomorrow for meddling? Because I was thinking of a hard blow to the head with a blunt object, like my math book for instance," Usagi couldn't stay annoyed for very long. Yuki started laughing, and she couldn't stop the image that came to her head. The brief flashes of the past, back to when he used to laugh often, assailed her and she had to blink at her sudden tears. She hid them easily behind a grin, thinking that maybe between Tohru and herself, they could bring the old Yuki back.
"I really will help you. It doesn't bother me or interfere with anything I'm doing, which apparently is the reason you wouldn't ask me to begin with." Another smile crossed the rat's face as he watched Usagi's expression turn to horror. Her fist met the counter in outrage.
"Okay, before it was a joke, but now I really am going to kill that stupid cow!" The cry sent them all laughing, even Usagi, who despite her grievances couldn't help but be thankful to Hatsuharu once again.
xXx
(1) I have no idea; I just will take liberties here because Tohru so often refers to her mother. So this is not something her mother truly said, mmmkay?
I wanted to keep going. Seriously. But I feared I might write a 20,000 word chapter all the way to the end of the story. Not that you guys would mind, eh? But I have so much on the brain for what's coming up. Next chapter I promise will bring us back around to school and more neurotic fan girls. Not to mention that youma I've been promising that I've failed to reach yet again.
But, Usagi and Tohru bonding! I love Tohru to death, so she will become a bigger character in the story from now on. Some people were inquiring about Kyou and Kagura as to me saying Kyou would be all his lonesome. Well, let's just say there are very few characters in the Furuba series I don't like, and Kagura is one of them. She just rubs me the wrong way and I definitely don't support that pairing. So I'm sorry if you do.
Also, Akito stays male. There's also no possibilities of Akito/Usagi in this story. I'm focusing on rehabilitation. I'm sorry I didn't consider the anime fan base instead of manga. Kureno is the rooster to the zodiac, and he's sort of like Akito's personal assistant/servant. Uotani meets him at one of her jobs and, like, falls in love with him. Yeah.
Rin is the horse of the zodiac, and she had a relationship with Hatsuharu. However, Akito got a hold of her and beat her black and blue, so she told Haru that they were through and she didn't need him any more. She was just doing it to protect him, so the same wouldn't happen to him, but I still find it hard to forgive her for it. I mean, poor Haru, being told 'I don't need you any more.'
So hopefully I've cleared that up. I refuse to ramble here anymore, please send me your pretty reviews. I mean, look at this huge, by my standards, chapter. I don't know how soon I'll update anything; I'm obsessively watching the FIFA World Cup. :)
♥SachiNyoko♥
