Chapter 13

"Where is he, Jarrod?"

Jarrod stared into the blue eyes of his wife, watching as they became panicked and filled with tears.

"I don't know," Jarrod said. Jaq collapsed and Jarrod caught her, drawing her to himself.

"What do you mean you don't know! You swore you'd keep him safe!" Jaq wailed. She beat against him with her fists, and he let her. He had never felt so helpless in his life. How did this happen? He'd only been gone for a moment.

Simon had his days and nights confused. Both new parents were exhausted so Jarrod offered to take Simon downstairs so Jaq could get some sleep. Simon would be waking soon for his next feeding. Jaq was reluctant to let her son out of her sight, but she knew she couldn't take care of him if she didn't take care of herself. She kissed the top of her son's head and then accepted a kiss from her husband. Jaq snuggled down and drifted off into blissful sleep only to be awakened by Jarrod and being told Simon was missing. They'd been in the parlor and Jarrod laid Simon in the small cradle that had at one point held Leah and then Jon. He wanted to grab a book from the study. When he returned, their son was gone.

"My baby…where's my baby! This is all your fault! Why did you leave him…why did you leave him!" Jaq cried over and over.


Jarrod awoke with a start having fallen asleep in the chair next to their bed. He sat up carefully, thankful the small baby on his chest had not been disturbed by the sudden movement. He looked over at Jaq who lay on her side, watching him. She smiled.

"Father and son. You make a beautiful picture," she whispered. Jarrod tried to return the smile but he was having a difficult time shaking his nightmare. Jaq noticed something wasn't right.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Jarrod stood slowly and climbed into bed with his wife. He placed Simon between them, and the couple watched their son sleep.

"I'm fine. Just tired. For someone so small, he sure does know how to keep his parents from getting any rest."

Jaq laughed. "It's worth every moment of lost sleep," she replied. Tears flowed down her cheeks and Jarrod reached over to wipe them away.

"Hey now…it's my turn to ask. Are you alright?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

Jaq nodded. "Just feeling blessed."

There was a knock on the door and Jarrod rose to answer. It was Audra with a tray of food. She set the tray down on the table and then walked over to the bed to see her newest nephew.

"May I?" Audra asked.

"Of course," Jaq replied and handed Simon to the younger woman.

"How about if I hold him while the two of you eat something," Audra suggested. The three adults sat around the small table and enjoyed the time together while Simon slept in the arms of his aunt.


Simon was 5 days old and Jarrod decided he'd go into town for a few hours to check on things at his office. He was hesitant to go but knew Jaq and Simon would be in good hands. His hesitation wasn't so much that Jaq would need help as much as he was still shaken by the nightmare he'd had. While he was in town, he planned to visit the hotel to see if Calvin was still in town and to discuss Amanda. Jarrod had shared briefly with Jaq and the rest of the family the visit by his former father in law but no one seemed to know what to say about it one way or another.

Jarrod stopped by his and Jaq's home to check on things. Nick had arranged for some of the ranch hands to visit periodically but no one reported anything unusual. Jarrod entered the home and stopped just inside the door. He couldn't help but smile as he remembered his and Jaq's wedding night. They were so hungry for one another that they couldn't even wait until they made it to their bedroom.

That passion had not waned, even during Jaq's pregnancy. She was always eager for his touch and had told him one night how her favorite thing to wear were his arms around her.

Jarrod quietly and carefully walked through each room, upstairs and down. Nothing appeared to be disturbed. Jarrod opened the drawers in their bedroom. Again, nothing seemed out of place. He turned toward the bed and it was there he saw them – yellow flowers. And they were placed there recently. Jarrod scooped them up and crushed them in his hands. He was having a difficult time controlling his anger.

Jarrod shut up the house and then mounted Jingo. He was tempted to return to the Barkley mansion but decided he better head into town and seek out Calvin. One way or another, this was ending soon. Jarrod would make sure of it.


A soft knock at the door drew Jaq's attention and she called for whoever it was to enter. Victoria opened the door and walked in, loving the scene of her grandson being held by his mother.

"Jaq, Audra and I need to meet the Padre at the orphanage. We shouldn't be gone but for a few hours."

Jaq looked up from the face of her son and smiled at her mother in law.

"We'll be just fine," Jaq replied. She was looking forward to having some time alone with just her son. She'd heard Nick mention that morning staying near the corral to work with one of the horses that had injured a tendon. There were also various hands around as well as Silas so Jaq wasn't truly alone and felt safe.

Victoria hesitated but knew she needed to ask Jaq something that had been on her mind. She closed the door and sat next to Jaq.

"May I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Jaq replied.

"When you were in labor, you mentioned 'Louisa'. May I ask who she is?"

Jaq took a deep breath. She hadn't realized she'd said her daughter's name. At the time she'd been in so much pain that she was only trying to concentrate on getting through the next contraction.

"Louisa was the daughter Paul and I had. She passed away when she was a month old. We never really knew why it happened."

Victoria reached out her hand to Jaq.

"I'm so sorry, Jaq."

"Thank you, Victoria. I won't lie and say I'm not worried about the same thing happening to Simon. I may be a bit over protective of Simon for a while, at least until we get past the same age that Louisa was when she…."

"Of course. That's understandable. I won't say anything to anyone. I know how private you are. I hope I didn't offend you by asking?"

Jaq smiled.

"Never. I do appreciate you asking me in private and for keeping the information to yourself. I don't want to forget Louisa - I never could. I just choose to keep her in my heart and remember her in my own way."

Jaq sighed. "I do worry about spoiling Simon though."

Victoria reached out and patted her grandson's back. "There's no spoiling a newborn. You should also trust your instincts. If holding him for the next month or longer is what you need, then you do that."

Jaq blinked back tears. She remembered well what a weepy mess she was after Louisa. It seemed she'd be the same with Simon.

"Thank you, Victoria."

"Are you sure you're alright with us leaving you?"

"We'll be fine. I heard Nick say he was staying around the corral to tend to one of the horses and I know Silas will be around as well. Jarrod promised he wouldn't stay in town too long. He wanted to speak to Calvin."

At the mention of Calvin, both ladies fell silent. Amanda had been quiet for months and many wondered if she were even still in the area.

"I think Elsa and the children were going to come by later. Elsa had a few clothes of Jon's that he's outgrown, and she wanted to see if I could use them for Simon. You and Audra go. We'll be fine."

Reluctantly, Victoria left. She promised herself they wouldn't be gone long.


Jaq enjoyed holding her son but knew she needed to put him down at some point even if it was to have her own personal needs met. Silas had been up earlier to say he was going out to the garden for a while but wouldn't be gone long. Jaq expected Jarrod, Victoria, and Audra to be back soon as well.

Jaq placed Simon in the small cradle to the side of their bed and went to clean up. She was only gone for 15 minutes and when she walked in the bedroom she stopped dead in her tracks. Holding her son was Amanda. Jaq's heart slammed in her chest.

"What are you doing here?" Jaq asked, trying to keep the terror from her voice and knowing she wasn't succeeding. She didn't know what state of mind Amanda was in and didn't want to startle her and have her hurting her son.

Amanda looked up at Jaq, her eyes showing no emotion.

"I'm here for you," was all she said.