For an ask meme on tumblr.


Pairing Order: RusAme

Rating: T

Prompt: Kiss underwater

WARNING: Contains: death, suicide/suicide pact.


"Don't worry, it shouldn't hurt for long," Alfred reassured Ivan, offering him a hand as the other young man left his scarf in a neatly folded pile atop Alfred's prized jacket, the blond having laid a sunflower on top as well to mark the spot. The taller man nodded and accepted the offered hand, Alfred hoisting him up atop the stone railing. The cold winter wind buffeted their hair around their faces, whistling between them like a silent screaming plea for sweet release.

"This is it, then, isn't it?" Ivan mumbled softly, peering off at the distance rushing beneath their perch, churning water gushing and sloshing about with chunks of solid ice. Alfred squeezed his hand reassuringly, lips trembling as he looked to his love, Ivan eventually peeling his gaze away from the awaiting abyss to stare off into the blue depths of Alfred's own eyes. How peculiar, he couldn't help but entertain the passing thought, that this siren of a man possessed both the freedom of the sky and the uncertainty of the ocean in the windows to his soul.

"Yeah," Alfred agreed with just a short nod, leaning in and placing a cautious kiss to Ivan's cheek, teetering on tip toes dangerously close to the edge so he could plant the affectionate move. "It is."

"Should we say anything before we go?" Ivan hesitated, gripping Alfred's hand tightly, eyes searching for any lifeline to drag him off the edge, back to safety, any reason to keep his insignificant life just a minute longer. Alfred blinked at him before his lips melted and shriveled up into a smile.

"I love you, Ivan. We're going to be together forever, soon," he promised sweetly, his voice cooing and coaxing, altogether relaxing and irresistible. Ivan slowly stretched a smile of his own across his face, turning to face Alfred and hug him tightly.

"Promise you wont let me go," he murmured into Alfred's ear, the silent response of strong arms wrapping around his back as reassuring as any words could have been. Ivan took in a shuddering breath and held it, the anticipation and wondering if this were to be his last gulp of air surreal and almost uncanny. Alfred nuzzled into his chest, Ivan holding him in turn. "I love you, too, Alyosha. I'm ready."

The jump was more of a tripping slip off the edge, their combined and uneven weight making them spiral in the air as they plummeted, clinging desperately to each other, knowing that in death they could love each other freely, unlike in the cold and bitter world they leapt away from. Alfred's nails dug into Ivan's back as he desperately gripped him close, Ivan shutting his eyes as the first impact with the water overcame them both.

As the rapids churned and sloshed violently around them, water rushed into Ivan's lungs when he tried gasping for breath, everything rushing past him in an instant. Memories of a soiled childhood, an abused youth, a warm heart and a tender body, everything streaming past him in a surging blur…

Was this a mistake? Was it too late?

Should he let Alfred go?

Everything throbbed to a pulsating and deafening roar around him, the body still clinging to him already frozen as if in a death grip. He shut his eyes to the darkness, but reopened them blindly when he felt lips pressed to his own open mouth, water pouring into them both as they sank deeper and deeper beneath the bridge. He realized with that single underwater kiss that what was filling him wasn't water or impending death. No, it was Alfred's eternal and suffocating love.

And Ivan felt at last content.


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