Happy 60th chapter guys! Thanks so much for helping me make it this far.
Enjoy a mini chapter in which Marinette becomes perceptive.
"Do you think having children is sort of narcissistic?" Marinette asked, her voice drowning out in the noise of the train station.
Marinette had made it a priority to see Alya on the weekends. She had been interviewed for a new daytime job at a local real estate firm as a secretary, at least until her pregnancy was over.
Alya needed to be off her feet as much as she could, her back would cause her great pain and when her feet began to swell, it was difficult for her to actually venture on home by herself.
It didn't pose that much of a difficulty, but Marinette always went out of her way to meet Alya to and from work; that way she knew her friend made it home safe. Alya had started to build her own personal blog, documenting her pregnancy and gathering advice from other new mothers, or women who had been in the mother game for quite a long time. It comforted Marinette's heart that Alya set her pride aside and finally took the initiative to accept help, when she needed it.
Chloe's offer of the penthouse still stood on the table, and despite Alya's reluctance to a friendly handout, Marinette was somehow able to convince her friend to accept the gracious gift. She deserved that much, and so did their baby. It wasn't a promised opportunity that would come around again, and Alya needed to grab it while she had the chance.
"Narcissistic?" Alya asked, turning her head over towards Marinette who zipped up her coat with a small smile.
"Why do you say that?"
Marinette exhaled, her breath drawing fog into the cold air that surrounded both women. The young woman shrugged, her eyes following the trains as they took off. The winter sun had begun to make its way down the horizon and Marinette quite liked the orange glow it casted just before it was about to set.
"Yeah, you're basically just reusing your genes. If anything, when you have children you're raising little clone copies of yourself or your partner. It's a little strange to think about," Marinette conceded, biting her lip before turning to face her friend with a small chuckle.
Alya snorted, rocking back and forth on her aching feet as she awaited her train that she knew would arrive at any minute.
"I guess you can say that," she breathed, pressing her lips together. "But it's a beautiful thing. You get to create little human beings with someone you love, and you raise them to be great members of society. You carry about out of love, not because you want little copies of yourself."
Marinette nodded, her eyes remaining on the large train in front of her.
"You're right..." Marinette murmured, watching as passengers boarded the train in a hurry, leaving it completely stuffed before the doors closed. "But the thought of raising a child seems scary. I guess I can understand now why you felt like you'd struggle being a mom when you have no prior experience at all. I mean, there's the nursing, the diaper changing, the lack of sleep and the worry. I seriously wonder how our moms did it."
Alya chuckled, placing a hand onto her large baby bump. Her hand moved down towards her navel where she felt her little one simply kicking away at the sounds around the both of them. Alya knew she hadn't met her baby yet, but there was a love there she had never known before. Through the little she knew about her baby, as in what times she woke up throughout the night and what sounds and foods excited her inside of Alya's belly, she had seriously grown to love the little one. At first there was a bit of fear, but there was no fear anymore. Alya was ready to settle down and meet and raise her baby as the best mother she could possibly be.
"I know it was scary at first, but I'm ready for this journey. I know motherhood is never easy, but I realise that I not only have Nino, but I have my family and my friends. I love Nino, and I love our child. I know that everything is going to be okay," Alya murmured, slowly looking up at Marinette with a small smile. "Learning is all part of the journey, and if we ever decide on a second one, at least we know how we do it. I mean, after all, Nino and I have other siblings, so our parents have quite the experience under their belt."
Marinette offered Alya a warm smile, her heart squeezing in her chest. Granted, Marinette was the only child that her parents had and she didn't know what it was like to have other siblings, she knew her parents still had quite the experience when it came to raising children, and Marinette wondered if they'd be more than happy to help if she ever decided to have children.
But then again, her parents were constantly nagging her about grandchildren, so there was a huge possibility that if Marinette ever let them hold her child, she may never get them back.
"I guess since Nino and Adrien's escapades involving childbirth, I couldn't help but share the same mindset. I feel like pregnancy is hard enough, you know? Now the whole going into labour for hours and pushing a very large head out of a small hole..." Marinette's voice trailed off at the thought of it. "I mean, I'm scared about having sex - why do I think I would be able to hand childbirth?"
Alya snorted, lightly shaking her head.
"Well the upside is, if you make it to the hospital in time, there's an epidural that can numb you while giving birth, and secondly, not all dicks are as massive as the way they are in porn and hentai. That's mostly fantasy and solely created to stimulate sexual arousal for people who are into the sort of thing. When you think too much about it and you mix it in with unrealistic fantasies, you make yourself scared. The best way to find out these things is to relax and experience them for yourself. Everyone is different... trust me, it'll feel good."
Alya glanced away from her, both women looking at a train as it pulled up onto the tracks and opened its doors to let the passengers out.
Marinette pressed her lips together, her blue eyes measuring the size of the train and the size of the tunnel it was meant to go through.
The train seemed incredibly huge and the tunnel from the angle in which she stood seemed significantly smaller.
How on earth would that train fit in there? It was much too big for the small tunnel.
"Besides..." Alya continued. "Adrien is a virgin too. He probably doesn't know more than you do, and I seriously doubt that he'd hurt you. You just have to trust your partner."
Marinette felt her heart sink.
Alya was right. Adrien would never hurt her in that way. In fact, when he touched her breasts and the sensation made her surprised, Adrien stopped right away. The night during the summer when they tried and Marinette tensed up to the point where it hurt, he stopped right away.
In fact, Marinette couldn't ever recall a moment where he didn't stop whenever she asked him. Marinette always claimed that she trusted him, and yet when it came down to their intimate life she was scared he was going to hurt her.
Marinette sighed, guilt seizing her heart and leaving a sour taste in the back of her mouth.
She did trust Adrien. She trusted him with her life, her body and her heart.
Marinette knew that if she wanted him to have her body, she needed to trust him with it.
That surely was going to change.
She exhaled, her heart picking up the pace inside of her chest.
Perhaps the best way to handle a situation like this would be to talk to Adrien.
But she knew without a doubt that she trusted him.
She was going to allow herself to have him, and him to have her in return and if any part felt uncomfortable, she'd just ask him to pause for that moment and she had no doubts that he would.
Marinette jumped, the sound of the train doors snapping closed immediately pulling her out of her train of thought. She shifted her weight, watching as the train began to move along the tracks.
Her environment was drowned out by the noise that surrounded them and Marinette flinched as the train picked up the pace and headed straight for the tunnel.
Her fists clenched as she watched with anticipation, her heart began to squeeze inside of her chest and her eyes widened the moment the train went straight into the tunnel with ease.
The velocity of that moment sent a warm breeze to scour through her hair in an instant and Marinette exhaled, her eyes now fixated on the tunnel that appeared to be completely empty.
"Oh..." she breathed, her fists loosening within her pockets. "It fit..."
