Wrote this drabble for someone on the RusAme discord!


Pairing Order: RusAme

Rating: M

Prompt: Ivan struggles with self confidence and wants to know what Alfred likes about him. Alfred expresses himself fully.


"Alik," Ivan murmured in the darkness, the only other sound being his aching heart in his chest, the dull thumping picking up its pace when Alfred's eyes slid open. Their bedroom was dark, the sheets warm, the moonlight soft, and Alfred's cheek a little stubbly under Ivan's stroking finger with what would become five o clock shadow in a few more hours. Alfred shifted, wriggling a little closer to his boyfriend, grabbing the front of his shirt and holding it tight.

"Mm, whassup?" His slurred and sleepy voice asked as his eyes slipped closed again, Ivan pressing a tender kiss to his forehead now that they were closer. "Can't sleep?"

Alfred's guess was spot on, of course. Ivan gave him a quiet hum of acknowledgement, draping an arm over Alfred's shoulders to snuggle up to him. "I have been thinking," he explained in a raspy and soft whisper, wanting to talk but not wanting Alfred to have to fully wake up just for him. He let the statement hang in the air a moment, appreciating the smell of Alfred's recently washed hair. "You love me, yes?"

He could feel Alfred snort a puff of air against his chest, Ivan feeling his lips there a moment later. Alfred pressed two, three, four, five kisses in a line from his sternum up to his neck, a leg draping over Ivan's thighs next. "You'd think with how much I suck his dick, my boyfriend would know he's loved," he teased Ivan, letting his words linger in the air a bit. "You feelin' anxious again, baby?"

"A little," Ivan murmured and tipped his head back further, giving Alfred more room to kiss and even nibble on his skin. "I just— mm-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain it to me. I know your anxious brain can be real mean to you," Alfred reassured him, coaxing Ivan to lay flat under him. He slid across his lap, sitting up on him and giving him a charming smile when he settled against that familiar spot. "I'm always happy to reassure you. Whatcha need?"

"I want to know exactly what you like about me," Ivan requested, letting out a small noise when Alfred's hands settled on his chest, feeling through his shirt for his nipples. Alfred found them and gave them a gentle rub, bending down and kissing Ivan's collarbone. His plush ass sat heavily down on Ivan, Alfred rocking it expertly as he pretended to think.

"If anyone else would have asked me that question, I'd just say everything. But since you asked it, I don't mind spelling it out for you," Alfred smiled at him, gliding his hands up from Ivan's chest to cup his face.

"I admire your strength," Alfred started, his pinky fingers gently brushing past the marred and faded lines across Ivan's neck. "You're a fighter. Resilient. I can rest easy knowing you can take care of yourself."

"I admire your softness," those hands brushed up into Ivan's hair next as Alfred lay himself on top of his chest. He pet him tenderly, his voice dropping to a quiet whisper. "You're compassionate, loving, loyal. Delicate. I am so grateful that I'm a person you trust yourself with. It's such an honor to have your respect."

Ivan smirked slightly, feeling Alfred kiss his ear as those hands went on the move again, finding his sides and squeezing him in a hug. "I admire your passion. The way your face lights up when you see something you're interested in? Talk about cute! I could listen to you talk for hours, I love learning new things about you."

"Alik," Ivan called his name quietly, reaching up and finding a soft place on Alfred's hips to hug him back. "I love you."

"Oh, also, you're sexy as hell, and I can't get enough of the way you can plow my ass," Alfred realized with a blink too late that he'd talked over Ivan's quiet confession, but Ivan's embarrassed face was worth it. Ivan stared at him before bursting out into giggles, wrapping his arms fully around Alfred and rolling them over. They took a second to reposition away from the edge of the bed, Alfred grinning up at him. "What? It's true!"

"Oh, I don't doubt that," Ivan teased him right back, kissing Alfred's nose. He slid down, pulling the blankets over his head as he bent his face low into Alfred's lap. "Thank you."

"Uh— hey, you don't gotta," Alfred blushed, a hand gripping up a fistful of Ivan's soft hair. "I meant everything. You don't have to repay me or whatever."

"It is not repaying," Ivan reassured him, breathing warm air over the straining tent of Alfred's sleeping boxers. "I could feel you when you were on top of you. And I love you, so... let me?"

"Geez, you're almost sappier than me," Alfred groaned appreciatively, smoothing Ivan's hair as Ivan pulled him free. He sighed softly, willing himself away from the moan building in his throat as Ivan's warm mouth slid down his length. Alfred spread his legs wider, giving Ivan more room to work him as he quickly unraveled at his seams. "Fuck, Vanya... damn, you've gotten real good at this-"

Ivan made a sound around Alfred's cock, sending shivers up his spine. A hand teased Alfred's balls gently, a single finger playing with the tight ring of muscle just below them. Alfred gasped, arching for him in a lewd display. He indulged himself, rubbing at his chest with one hand as the other coaxed Ivan to try to go a bit lower. Fuck-!

Ivan squeaked in surprise, the tiny yelp choked out by a splash of liquid in his mouth. Alfred whimpered pitifully, having barely lasted, what? All of a minute? Ivan slid back, a hand over his mouth for a moment before seeming to relax.

"Well," he chuckled, Alfred shamefully peeking up at him. His body trembled with satisfied warmth, sheepishly vulnerable for his boyfriend.

"Sorryyyyy," Alfred drawled out, low and slow as he collected himself and his breath. "I love you too, Vanny."


Thanks for reading!