[A/N: Azucar, you crack me up! Loved your reviews! :)
Okay, time to take the knife out of the reader's gut: Part Four, still gloomy, Part Five/Six a bit steamy… ;)
And, as I am probably the most impatient person on the planet, I'm posting the rest of the whole story. I did my best proof-reading it, but I had read different parts more/less times than others, so if there's anything off I apologize. As I've mentioned before, I write out of order, and pieces of this had been from another story (originally they hadn't been together when they had gone to Scotland and they ended up pretending to be married) so once again I confused myself as I wrote!]
PART FOUR
Once back, William had shown Eliza to a bedroom that he had picked out for her, he had left her bags inside. "I want to see where my uncle is before I go to bed. I'll be back." He told her flatly and left, his earlier good mood had faded the closer they had gotten to the house, and by now had completely vanished.
Eliza decided to get ready for bed. It had felt like a very long day, and her thoughts were in a complete jumble. The nerve, calling me "Lizzie". And why didn't William say anything? He looked so happy. She's so beautiful… Eliza thought glumly, She knows a side of William I'll never know. How can I comfort him if he won't tell me everything that had happened to him?
She was brushing her hair a bit aggressively at the vanity when there was a knock at her door, "Lizzie? Are you awake?" William called out softly. "Yes Will, you can come in." She replied. William stepped inside and stopped in the doorway, Eliza was sitting in a dressing robe, her hair cascading over her shoulders in a golden wave. "William, are you alright?" She asked, concerned.
William let out a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair. He nodded, but it wasn't very convincing. He had checked on his uncle, he had fallen asleep in his chair by the fire. William had left him there.
Eliza pat the bench she was sitting on. William hesitated, then came over to sit next to her, facing the room, while Eliza was facing the mirror. She turned slightly and leaned back, "William, tell me, what can I do for you?" She asked reaching up a hand to stroke his cheek.
To her relief, William closed his eyes and let her caress him. She lightly ran her hand over his cheek and down his beard. He finally smiled. "I suppose the whole day wasn't a loss. It was so good to see Jes again! I'm going to meet up with her tomorrow, we have a lot to catch up on." He chuckled, and Eliza could tell William was thinking of the past.
"Ah. You two were close then?" She asked, fishing for more information. "Aye, she was the only one I missed when I had left." He shook his head with a smile, "I'll never forget saying goodbye to her. We were in the barn, she was sad I was leaving, I had never seen her cry before. I kissed her, it was so sweet. 'Twas my first kiss." William seemed to have forgotten that he was talking to Eliza. She sat there stunned, So his fist kiss was sweet and romantic, yet he stole my first kiss and apologized ten years later!
William suddenly realized that Eliza had withdrawn her hand and had drawn back from him slightly. He looked at her confused, "Lizzie?" He asked, wondering what had happened. "That's nice that you'll see her tomorrow. And are you going to catch up in the barn?" As soon as the words had left her mouth she wanted to take them back. William looked as though he had been punched in the gut.
"You can't possibly think… Lizzie, are you serious?" William asked, completely confused and hurt. He ran both of his hands through his hair and stood to pace back and forth in the room, then came to stop in front of her again. "I cannae understand… what do I have to do to prove to you that I love you? That I'm devoted to you? I would die for you Eliza, a hundred times over and never even think twice about it."
Eliza rose from the bench and stood there, tears running down her face, wishing with all of her heart that she could take back what she had just said. She felt like a fool, but her jealousy had clouded her judgement. She looked up at William, his eyes were red, he looked exhausted, and as though he were in physical pain.
"I needed you so badly for this trip, to be there for me, by my side and…" He scoffed and shook his head, "I could only tolerate coming here because I thought I could rely on you, you were my strength, and now…" He threw his hands up in frustration, "We're to be wed, and you can't even trust me? Are you sure then that you want to marry me after all?"
Eliza let out a sob, horrified at what she had set in motion by one thoughtless phrase.
William hung his head and turned to go. He stopped a few feet before reaching the door, something in his heart was holding him back from leaving. Simultaneously, Eliza had run up behind him and wrapped her arms around him from behind. Her palms were pressed tightly into his chest, her head turned so she could rest her cheek on his back.
He felt her entire body pressing into his, holding him. "William, please, don't go, not like this. I… I couldn't bear it." She said, the words getting caught in her throat. He stood stiffly, not pushing her away, yet not holding her back either. "I'm so sorry William, so sorry. What I had said was foolish and absurd, it's just… I had never seen anyone make you that happy before… other than myself, I… was jealous, and what I had said was so thoughtless. Please, you mustn't go this way." She squeezed him harder, willing him to say something, anything.
Silently, he gently removed her left hand from his chest and began to slide off her engagement ring. She gasped in disbelief and clenched her hand closed. He smiled softly, even though she couldn't see it. "Hush, I'll give it back. I just want to show you something." He told her. Tentatively, she loosened her hand and he slid the ring off all the way and turned around to face her.
"Have you not taken it off all?" He asked. She shook her head, "Once you had placed it back on my finger, I haven't removed it, not for anything." She said. He no longer looked angry or annoyed, just wistful.
William held up her ring, in the candlelight it was hard to make out the inscription inside, but it was there. "You haven't seen the inscription then?" He asked. She furrowed her brow in confusion, "It has your parents' initials engraved on the band, M&W." He chuckled softly and passed her the ring. She looked at it closely, turning it so the light could catch the inside. "Oh!" She breathed softly, there had been a newer inscription added next to the M&W. E&W.
"When did you have this done? You couldn't have known when I was going to ask for it back." William smiled, "I had gone to the jeweler that same evening after you had returned it to me." "After dinner at John and Petunia's?" She asked amazed, still staring at the inscription. He nodded, he gently tilted her chin up. "Does that truly surprise you?" He asked wryly. She smiled, "No, not really." She let out a deep sigh, "I've truly been a fool, haven't I?" She said, chagrined, her face flushing.
William shook his head and took the ring back. Taking her left hand he slid it back onto her ring finger, then let her go. Eliza was surprised, she had expected him to kiss her hand and place it over his heart. The simple gesture that she had almost started to take for granted.
"It's late Lizzie, we should go get some sleep." He said. "Yes. You're right." She agreed. He continued towards the door. "Will…" She said. He stopped and turned back to look at her. "Are you not staying with me?" She asked, confused. Despite what she had told his uncle, she had assumed they would share a room.
"Not tonight." He saw her expression, "Oi, Lizzie, I'm not mad any more." He said going over to her. "I'm probably going to have nightmares being back here. I don't want to disturb you." She nodded. Not sure as to what to say, she merely said, "Okay."
He turned and left. He didn't even kiss me goodnight. With that thought she curled up on the bed and wallowed in self-pity at her thoughtlessness for possibly having ruined the most important thing in her life, her relationship with the only man she had ever loved.
William…
William lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His heart felt heavy, he was more sad than angry. He let his thoughts wander back to when he had first kissed Eliza, remembering how nervous and excited he had been, wanting desperately to comfort her, so happy when she had kissed him back, even though she had slapped him only seconds after that.
True, he had kissed Seasaidh, but they had been children, and he certainly didn't have feelings for her any stronger than those of friendship. Seeing her again had simply brought back the few good memories he had associated with his childhood.
"Willie… why do you have a bag with you?" Seasaidh asked nervously, her stomach began to knot in trepidation. William silently took her hand and led her over to a bale of hay to sit down. He turned to face her, "I'm leaving Jes." He said softly. "Leaving?" She asked, tears starting to trickle down her face. He nodded, "You know I can't stay here much longer, I'll either end up starving, or killing him."
Seasaidh shook her head in denial, "You can't leave Willie, you're my only friend. What will I do without ye?" She asked, openly crying now. "Ach, Jes, please don't cry." William said, cupping her face in his hands, trying to wipe her tears away with his thumbs. It was a losing battle, she was sobbing too hard, her body shaking. William realized he was crying too.
"Where are ye going to go Willie? Do ye even have any money?" She asked, worried about what would become of him. "London. I have a little money, it's not much, but it'll get me to London." He had saved every penny he had earned working on a neighboring farm. He had never even told his uncle. William had lied and said he had been at his school, exercising in the gym. It had been a believable lie, the work had made him stronger, he was more muscular, and fairly tall for a 15 year old, but still lean.
"I have to go Jes, you understand, right?" He asked, hoping she would at least support him. She nodded, "I do Willie, trust me I do, I… I'll just miss you terribly. Did you tell Cat?" She asked. He shook his head vehemently, "No! And you mustn't tell her or my Uncle, EVER, do you promise Jes? Never ever tell them." She nodded hesitantly.
"Are you leaving right now then?" She asked. "Aye, the farmer I work for, he said he'd take me to the station, he thinks I'm going to visit family in Ayr." He explained. "I'm going to miss you Willie, truly." She said, her sobbing had subsided, but her tears were still flowing.
William hesitated, still holding her face in his hands. Then he took a deep breath and leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. It was truly a chaste kiss, Seasaidh reciprocated, puckering her lips into his. They stayed like that for several breaths, then William broke away, "Beannachd mo charaid gaoil." He stood, and grabbing his bag, left without looking back, afraid he would want to stay if he saw her face again.
"Till we meet again." Seasaidh said softly, not truly believing her own words.
