PART THIRTEEN
Eliza…
Eliza sat down on the settee in the drawing room with a sigh of relief. She had just helped Seasaidh clean up after their meal, then Seasaidh had headed home to tend to her farm. Eliza pulled an ottoman closer to her, and propped up her feet. She took a long sip of tea.
I'm more tired from today that chasing criminals around London! Is this how Ivy feels every day? I don't think I pay her enough…
Her thoughts were interrupted as Alistair came into the room, his cane tapping loudly on the floor. He had taken to using it, after his knee had almost given out again. They both knew that if he should fall again he could be seriously hurt. Eliza had found the cane in a closet and had left it by his chair. He had begun to use it with no comment.
He approached her, carrying a small bundle of what appeared to be letters, and sat down next to her on the settee. "Would you like some tea Alis?" Eliza asked, prepared to get up again. He shook his head, "Nay, lass, keep yer seat, you look exhausted. Not used to running a household are ye?" He asked with a smile. She grinned back at him, "No. I must admit, I much prefer being a private detective and paying my housekeeper. But…" She smiled softly, "It would be nice to occasionally make a meal for William that he could actually eat!" Alistair chuckled, "You'll get there." He said kindly.
To his surprise, he found himself enjoying Eliza's company. She was so very different from anyone he had ever met. It was easy for him to see why William loved her. Eliza, still thinking about cooking, began to tell him about the disastrous chocolate, cherry, and vodka cake she had tried baking for William's 18th birthday. "… it was the oddest thing though, when I had gone downstairs to the dining room the next day, more of the cake had been eaten! William swore he had never touched it again. I suppose not all mysteries are meant to be solved!" She said laughing. Alistair laughed along with her.
They sat quietly for a moment, then Alistair cleared his throat, "Eliza lass, I have something for you. To give to Willie." He said passing her the bundle that he had in his lap. Eliza took it from him and her eyes opened in surprise as she flipped through it, it was a pile of letters, and from what she could tell, they were an exchange between Mary and Walter. "Alis… what…?" She began to say.
Alistair took a deep breath, "I'm going to tell you some things, about my past, and Willie's. You'll probably despise me after, but I cannae help the past, a part of me is just hoping that I might be able to change the future." Eliza nodded and let him continue.
"Mary was younger than me, by 15 years. She had come as a surprise to my parents, who were already older by that time. Our parents had passed a few years after her birth, I had raised her, she had been more like a daughter to me than a younger sister. She had been a wonderful girl, so joyous and happy, laughing all the time. We had been complete opposites, but we had loved each other dearly, we were all the other had.
I had met my wife, Isla, around the same time Mary had met Walter. Mary was the world to Walter, I had never seen a man dote on a woman the way he did, aside from the way William adores you.
All had been well at first, Mary and Walter had married and lived nearby, Isla and I had Cat, but things had slowly begun to fall apart. Isla had been younger than I, and as she had watched how Mary and Walter would interact, she had grown jealous, not understanding why I couldn't love her in the same way."
Alistair paused here to look down at his hands sadly, "I had loved her though, I just hadn't been very good at showing it. I had thought her having a hot meal and a roof over her head was proof enough of love, but it obviously hadn't been. A few years after Cat's birth, she had run off with another man, leaving me to raise our daughter alone. I had grown very bitter, and had to tolerate watching Mary and Walter, the happiest couple in the world. Over time, I had begun to resent Walter. I know it makes no sense, but in my anger, I couldn't see that. It was so much easier to blame him than myself.
Shortly after, Walter had begun to get contracts as a shipwright, and Mary had visibly changed in his absence. My bright and beautiful Mary had grown dark and sad, there had been nothing I could say or do to make her feel better. There had been days she wouldn't even come out of her room. I had hated Walter for doing that to her, for having left her for months on end. She had begun to stay with me in his absence, but it had been akin to having a ghost in the house. That was until Walter would return, and she had forgotten how miserable she had been.
Walter had never seen her in her sad states, I had tried to talk to him about it, he dinnae even believe me, how could his cheery wife change so completely when he wasn't around? It had been impossible in his mind.
He had left again, another contract, when Mary had found out that she was pregnant. I had been glad, I had thought that her having a wee bairn would distract her, make her happy. And it had, they had written letters," He gestured to the letters Eliza was holding, "so many letters of how happy they were, and I had begun to relax, seeing that Mary seemed to be more of her bright self.
Walter had done his best to take shorter contracts, to spend more time at home with Mary and Willie, but then an opportunity had come along that he couldn't turn down. He was going to be gone for close to a year.
At first, Mary had managed, Willie had been enough of a distraction for her, but then one day she had suddenly gotten depressed again, Walter had been planning on heading home, but she hadn't been able to wait any longer to see him, it he been the longest they had ever been apart. She had begged me to watch Willie, and I had agreed, not knowing what else to do. So Mary had gone to Walter. And I had taken care of Willie.
He had been around 5 years old at the time, a willful boy, but very bright, he had loved to explore and get into things, even when I had explicitly forbade him. I had told him, under no circumstances to go outside at night, it was dangerous, in the dark, and there were wild animals, but of course, as with any request that I had made as a demand, he would do the exact opposite. One evening, he had gone out, I dinnae know why, and Cat had seen him and told me. If she hadn't…
I had run outside and had heard a splash, I knew he had fallen into the lake. I had run and jumped in and had grabbed him. It had been so cold, he had fallen very ill. I… I never told him how ill he had been… he had been so sick, at some points I thought he wouldn't make it, so I had written Mary and panicked her. They had rushed back…
I had never told Willie precisely what had happened. After the accident I had taken him in and… I had been so harsh on him. I had been so angry at him for disobeying, and at myself for having had written Mary, that in the end, I… I had done everything wrong in raising that boy, but by that point, I hadn't even known how to act, or who I was anymore, I had become a bitter and resentful old man."
Alistair stopped speaking, breathing deeply. He still hadn't faced Eliza. Eliza had tears streaming down her cheeks, absorbing the story, her heart breaking for Alistair and William. Without even being conscious of having moved, she wrapped her arms around Alistair and held him as he sobbed away years of regret and recriminations.
