Authors Note: I've had a few questions in the reviews asking me if this is a linstead or an upstead fic. To clarify, this is a Linstead fic but Hailey is in no way the enemy or Villain here. I wanted to remain as true to the Chicago PD storyline as possible and as it's currently headed, Jay and Hailey will be romantically involved, which is why I made the desicion for them to be engaged at the beginning of this story. Hailey and Jay clearly have feelings for one another and care for each other on the show, and I wanted to recreate that in this fic and do that justice. However, I ship Linstead and so this is a story following their pain and journey. Whether they end together at the end of this, you'll have to wait and see, truth be told I'm still split on it myself. But this is in no way diminishing either ship, it's just a figment of my imagination and mind and I hope I can do all the characters justice and that you can enjoy it, or at the very least critique it in a respectful manner. Thank you all for your support, please enjoy!

Jay was angry. No he was beyond angry, he was absolutely furious. Six hours had past since Will had broken the news of what could be his boss' last request. Six hours had past since he fought of his internal demons and left Erin Lindsay his first voicemail. Two more voicemails later and a two calls to Agent Spencer at the FBI, the first to pass on the message to Lindsay with urgency and the second with her confirming Lindsay had received it and he still had not heard back from her.

He wanted, no he needed, to honour his Sargent's wishes. It's why he plucked up the courage to call Lindsay himself instead of asking Kim or Platt to do it. 5 years after he last saw her, and a fiancé later, he would have thought this wouldn't be so hard. But then he realised why bringing Erin into all this was so difficult. He had moved on, he loved Hailey, he wouldn't have asked her to marry him if he didn't. And yet the idea of confronting Lindsay after all these years, looking her in the eye and telling her that it was his fault the only father she ever knew lay in a hospital bed fighting for his life because of his mistake, well the idea alone left him with an unsettled feeling in his stomach so intense that he thought he would be sick from it.

So now, he was torn. On the one hand he was angry at her beyond compare. She had left him, walked away and cut him out of her life without looking backwards even once. But this wasn't about him or even them. This was about Hank, a man who he knew was family to her. A man who had proven to Erin time and time again that he had her back always. How could she be this selfish? How could she desert Hank in his hour of need after everything he had done for her.

He thought back to the time where they took on the paedophilia ring with Olivia and the SVU. Hank had dropped everything he was doing in Chicago and flew out all the way to New York when Jay told him Erin had been hospitalised with a concussion. And now, Hank lay dying and Erin couldn't return the favour. It confirmed for Jay all he needed to know, Erin had changed, she was no longer the woman he once knew. Either that or he never knew her at all really. Either way, he had dodged a bullet. Erin had commitment-phobia, he knew that. But to think she would abandon everyone she ever knew, including Hank, it told him he never stood a chance. And for that, he could only be grateful that things had ended between them when it did.

But then, on the other hand he felt immensely guilty. Guilty for being glad that she didn't return his calls or messages. Guilty that he wouldn't have to explain to her how this would never of happened if he didn't make the mistake he did. Guilty that he was relieved there would be one less person out there silently judging his desicion and blaming him. Even though it went against Hank's wishes, he was glad it wasn't likely that Erin would come.

"Hey," Hailey's spoke softly, as though not to spook him. Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She gave him a small, sad smile, one he tried his best to reciprocate, and failed.

"Hey," was all he managed to say back. His throat still felt tight, like there was a massive lump in it constricting it. He was doing all he could not to cry again.

"It's late, what do you say we get out of here, go home and rest up a bit before coming back in the morning?"

He began to shake his head. He wouldn't leave Voight alone. Not when the only family he had left was not here to be with him.

Hailey put out her hand in the air, as though to stop him.

"Hear me out Jay. It's well past midnight, the rest of Intelligence has gone home too. There's not much else we can do here for the time being. I know you're worried, we all are, but it's not going to do anyone any good if you don't get the rest you need and where yourself down. We all need to focus on Voight right now Jay, we can't be worrying about you getting yourself sick too."

Jay knew she was right. Of course she was. This wasn't about him and what he needed. Hank always always put the team first. Jay needed to man up now and take a leaf out of his boss' book. He need to follow the example Voight set. And right now, his team needed him to be strong so that they could focus all their thoughts and prayers on Voight. They didn't need to worry that he would spiral and recklessly endanger himself in the process of his own grief. As he was deliberating all of this, Hailey spoke again.

"Jay, visiting time is over for the ICU. We aren't next of kin and we can't do anything for hank from the waiting room. Will promised me he would call if there's any changes, good or bad."

Jay sighed.

"You're right, let's go."

Wrapping his arm around Hailey's waist, the two of them left the AE waiting room and exited the automatic doors into the crisp Chicago air.

What Halstead did not notice as he left, was that from the corner of the waiting room where the lights had been dimmed due to the time of night, Erin Lindsay had stood alone, red eyed and lips trembling, watching him and waiting for him to leave so that she could get to the reception to enquire about which room Hank lay in without Jay seeing her.

As soon as she saw him leave the hospital, Erin left the waiting room and stepped into the ER. She took a deep breath taking in her surroundings. The last time she had been in this room, her and Jay were together investigating the rape case with the girl Julianne. It was the same day she found out about Abby... the same her and Jay broke up. In fact, the last time she was here at Med in general she was with the ME, getting the report on the 14 year old boy she had killed during the armed robbery. It was safe to say being back here at Med, in Chicago, wasn't filling her with the happiest memories. Instead, it was a reminder of some of her darkest days. And now, as she stood here amongst the rush of the ER, she had another bad memory to add to the list. One she wished she would never have to.

It was past midnight, and yet as the old saying goes, the ER never slows down.

"Incoming!" She heard Maggie's voice call out but she couldn't move. Being back was overwhelming and her legs had turned to bricks from the sight of it all. A hand grabbed her, pulling her to the side.

"Erin?"

The voice belonged to Will Halstead. Erin took in the man before her, wanting to return the tender smile he offered her, but was unable to do so. Once again, her lip began to tremble.

"I thought you weren't coming..." he frowned, "Jay said... never mind what Jay said. You just missed him. Let me call..." he began to reach into his pocket for his phone but Erin quickly clasped her fingers around his wrist, stopping him from doing so.

"No please don't," she whispered, her usually throaty voice raspier than usual.

"Erin..."

"I can't face anyone. Please Will. This is difficult enough as it is. I can't..." her voice cracked.

Will held his hands up to surrender.

"Okay, okay, I got you.."

"How is he? Is he..." she couldn't finish of her sentence.

"It's difficult to see him like this."

She nodded.

"He blames himself but we're trying to make him understand..."

Erin shook her head, her eyebrows creasing, confusement clear on her face.

"Who? Will what are you talking about?"

"Jay... wait you weren't asking about him?"

Erin's silence and pursed lips gave Will all the answers he needed. He had put his foot in his mouth.

"Why would he blame himself?"

Will remained silent. This wasn't for him to say.

"Will?" Erin asked again.

He sighed, running his hand over his face warily. There was no avoiding this. And so he told her everything he knew, what Hailey and the rest of Intelligence had told him. He just hoped Erin wouldn't blame Jay too. If he knew her well from all those years ago, she wouldn't. But their split had been rather messy and he didn't know where they stood when it came to this, especially since Voight was practically family to her so her judgement could be clouded.

Erin didn't say anything. She just stood there for a minute, taking in all his words before she simply nodded.

"Will, give it to me straight. Is Hank going to make it?"

Wills demeanour slipped momentarily, telling Erin everything she needed to know. He quickly masked his pity, but the sickening feeling in her gut intensified. Hank wasn't coming out of this.

"I don't want to give you false hope Erin, we're doing everything we can. He has the best doctors monitoring him, but like I told Jay, the chances of him coming out of this not permanently affected is next to none. The extent of the permanent damage we won't know though until he wakes up... if he wakes up."

Erin swallowed hard, tears slowly streaking her already stained face. How was this happening? If he woke up? Would she really not get a chance to tell Hank how much she loved him, how much she appreciated everything he had done for her, how she owed him everything. The thought had a choking sob escape her throat, as she desperately tried to push down her emotions. She had to be strong, for Hank. She couldn't give up on him yet, there was still a possibilities he would be okay, no matter how small the odds.

"Can you take me to see him?"

"Of course," Will replied before leading her up to the ICU and finally to outside the room Hank Voight lay in.

From where Erin stood, she could see how weak Hank looked. Seeing him helpless and intubated, strapped to a ventilator brought around a fresh bout of tears. First Camille, then Justin and now Hank. This wasn't fair. They were all the family she knew, and they were taken away from her one by one.

"Would you like me to call someone to be here with you?"

Erin shook her head.

"Please no, whilst I'm here please don't let anyone in. Not the team, not Jay. I need some space."

Will nodded curtly.

He didn't exactly agree with her desicion but he had to remind himself, this wasn't Erin his brother's ex-girlfriend. This was Erin, the family of the patient they were treating. He couldn't argue with her, especially since she was listed as Hank's next of kin. Her wishes took precedence over everyone including that of Intelligence.

Erin didn't miss the look of disapproval on Will's face at her request.

"I'm not saying they can't see him. They're his family too. I just don't want anyone to know I'm here. Just let me know when they come and I'll step out for a while."

Will wasn't too sure. She was asking him to lie by omission to his own brother about her being here. Jay deserved to know. But again, it wasn't his place to tell him.

"If that's what you want," he said reluctantly.

She nodded. "It is."

"Well let me know if you need anything else,"

"Thanks Will."

Will nodded before walking away, leaving Erin by herself.

Erin stepped slowly, cautiously into the room, as though any sudden movement or noise would be harmful to Hank. Walking slowly to his side, she cupped the side of his bruised cheek, a low sob escaping her lips.

"Hey Hank, I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back and visit,"

And then the sobs wracked through her body and she lost control. Breathing heavily, she stepped out of the room, bending with her hands on her knees, crouched over from the emotion she felt.

She couldn't run away again. Not this time, not when Hank needed her. She knew that. But she also knew she couldn't face this alone. She needed emotional support. She remembered what she had told Hank after he and Olive had been kidnapped. That he needed to rely on the support of his team and not go about things alone. It was the same advice he had given her in years past and now she knew she had to take it.

He was her friend first briefly before they dated. Just because they broke up didn't mean she couldn't turn to him in her hour of need. He would understand, she told herself, he understood the pain of losing a father too. She had hear whilst she was in New York actually, that his father had died right here at Med. He would understand, she mentally repeated as she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled the number she sought.

It only rang twice before the call was answered. Erin took a deep breath and spoke. There was no turning back now.

"Hey, it's me... I'm here in Chicago... at Med. I could really do with a friendly face right now. Will you come please?"

She could hear the shock in his voice.

"Erin?"

Tears streamed down her face again.

"Yeah, it's me," she whispered.

"Hold on, I'll be right there,"

"Thanks," she whispered.

And then the call went dead.