Authors note: So there seemed to be a lot of split minds about Hailey in the last chapter and I want to make some things clear. 1) I like Hailey's character. I like how strong and independent she is. BUT, I think, like many of you, that she lacks chemistry with Jay. I see them having more of a siblings bond where they're constantly looking out for each other but I don't see much flirtation, especially like Jay had with Erin. 2) I don't want Hailey hurt at the end of the fic. I hate reading books/watching shows where someone is left heartbroken. I like endings that are happy/content for everyone involved. And that's what I plan to do with this. Rest assured this is a lovestory between Erin and Jay, and I have the formation of an idea in my mind as to how they'll find their way to each other without Hailey being done wrong in the process. I'm a strong believer in the power of women, and I don't like to see female character acting bitter, snarky, or just generally competing with one another. And I will try my best to not do that here. Okay, rant over, Happy Reading!
Jay had barely slept a wink all night. Everytime he fell asleep, he would find himself having nightmares. He kept on seeing Erin, distraught clutching at Hank. You're all I have left. Jay had done this. He had put her in this position.
By the time his alarm went off in the morning, Jay was shattered. But he couldn't afford to hit snooze. Not if he planned on keeping his word to drive Erin to Med. So ignoring his body's protests, Jay climbed out of bed and headed straight for the kitchen. Lucky for him, Hailey was already awake and had started the pot of coffee. The nutty bitter smell awakened his senses as he rubbed his eyes and walked over to the cupboard which held their mugs. He paused briefly on his way to kiss Hailey on the side of her head as she stood buttering her toast.
"Morning," he added.
She turned to face him, offering a smile, though it was small, it was genuine. Jay breathed an internal sigh of relief. Good he thought. She was in a better mood. The last thing Jay wanted was for his actions to hurt her.
"Morning," she replied. And then her voice got straight down to business. "So I thought we could drive in to work together today. That way one of us can drop off Hank's car after shift."
Jay froze. There was no way he could avoid this topic of conversation now. And now he mentally scolded himself at not telling Hailey last night when he had the chance to. Yes, she may of been upset at him, but from the look on her face they had managed to clear the waves from last night. And now, he feared he would cause ripples again in what seemed to be clear waters between them.
He turned to face her.
"Yeah, erm Hails... about that..." he said scratching the side of his forehead and tilting it.
Hailey shifted her weight to straighten up and look at him directly.
"I should've told you last night but erm..." Jay hesitated. "Erin's back. I didn't know she'd be coming I swear, we kind of just bumped into each other at Med and I offered to drive her to Med before work this morning... she's staying at Voight's and she doesn't have a car and she was really broken up about everything... he's always been a dad to her you know. I just thouhght I owed her this much after Hank's in his current condition because he tried to save me."
Jay was rambling. He knew that. But he wanted Hailey to know nothing had happened between them. He wanted to be a friend supporting Erin. He hoped she could accept that.
Hailey didn't say anything. She just looked at Jay, almost blankly.
"Hailey?" Jay questioned desperate to hear what she was thinking.
After what seemed like forever, Hailey nodded.
Jay raised his eyebrows at her, giving her a look that said I need more. What does that mean.
"Okay," Hailey finally said.
"Okay?" Jay asked.
"Yeah Okay, let's get ready and then we head over to collect Erin. I don't want to be the jealous fiancé Jay, and if you say nothing happened, then I trust and believe you."
"It didn't," Jay insisted.
"And like you said," Hailey continued, "she's family to Sarge. From the little I knew and saw of her, she's been through a lot. This can't be easy on her and we all have to rely on each other in times like this."
Jay pulled her in for a hug
"Thank you," he murmured.
They stood there for a while before Hailey pulled away and spoke.
"Alright then, let's get going."
And with that they both went about their morning routine. The more Jay thought about it, the more he was torn. On the one hand, he was glad Hailey wanted to help Erin too. But on the other, he didn't know how Erin would react to the news that he was engaged to Hailey. He didn't want her to feel blindsided, or unwanted or like the third wheel they were helping out of pity. Erin Lindsay would always hold a special place in Jay's heart. She was the first partner he had in intelligence, she'd saved his life multiple times and he had learnt so much from her in those early days. He wouldn't be where he was today without her.
It was all so confusing to Jay. Did the romantic feelings he once held for Lindsay all come rushing back just because she had returned? No. But did he view her as a friend? Something deep down in Jay said to say she was just a friend was a lie. Kim was his friend. Vanessa was his friend. Natalie was his friend. What he felt towards Erin right now was something more than that. Not romantic, but definitely deeper and stronger than just calling her a friend.
He shook his head of the thoughts. He couldn't afford to jeopardise everything with his confusion. He needed to have a clear mind today if they were going to catch the perp that had attacked Voight. The investigation they led before yesterday's events had them believing he was a 'hire to kill' kind. Which meant there were more suspects out there on the loose.
Truth be told, the whole case gave Jay a massive headache. He couldn't wrap his head around why someone would be paid to kill a ten year old orphan, and by strapping a bomb to his chest and leaving him in an abandoned house. What motives could there be?
Looking at the time, Jay realised this questions would have to wait till they got to the 21st. If he and Hailey didn't leave now, they would be late and wouldn't be able to pick up Erin before their shift. He knew commander Fogel would be coming with the Superintendent today, to make sure their case was on track now that Hank was no longer leading it. Which meant both he and Hailey couldn't afford to be late.
"Hails, we gotta get going," Jay said pulling on his boots.
"I'll be right there," she called out from their bedroom.
Right as Jay grabbed his jacket, he heard his phone buzz.
Pulling it out of his back jean pocket he was surprised to see he had a message from Erin. He wasn't late yet, why would she be texting him?
Wanted to let you know, thanks for your offer but I managed to get a ride to Med. Already on my way there so there's no need to stop by and get me. Thanks again, Erin.Jay frowned. Why would she get a lift from someone else when she had already planned to go with him? Did she wake up today and feel like she wasn't ready to bury the past between them like she agreed to last night? Did she manage to get a lift from someone else? Did she call Kelly again, or was it someone else. Jay felt uneasy at the though. Was she trying to push him away again or was he reading too much into this?
"Hey," Hailey said suddenly coming up from behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You ready to go?"
Jay jumped slightly, not expecting her, and cleared his throat.
"Yeah um, let's go," he locked his phone and placed it in his back pocket again before grabbing his car keys from the bowl on the side table by the door.
"By the way," he added as casually as he could. "Erin managed to get a lift so we won't be needing to by Voight's."
If he didn't sound casual, Hailey gave him no indication that she had caught on.
"Alright," she said grabbing her jacket without missing a beat and heading out the door.
Jay inhaled deeply, trying to clear his mind before following her out the door.
Erin woke up to banging on the front door. Stumbling out of bed, it took her a moment to take in her surroundings and notice that she wasn't in her apartment in New York anymore. Instead, she was in her old room at Hank's house. She paused for a moment, remembering the events of yesterday that had led her here before the banging on the door began again.
"Im coming, I'm coming," she called out to no one in particular reaching down to throw on her shorts before running down the stairs two at a time. She was late, she knew that. Jay was meant to pick her up over twenty minutes ago, but last night had left her physically and mentally drained, and Erin had overslept as a result of it.
She unlocked the door and swung it open, but she was surprised to see that it wasn't Jay at the door. Before she could say, or do anything, arms flung around her neck as a body crashed into her hugging her tight. Erin stumbled slightly by the force of the action, almost falling over at one point.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the person said before removing themselves from her embrace. "I just can't believe you're actually here."
Erin stood, back and observed the look on her frantic friends face.
"Hey Kim," Erin said, offering her a small almost shy smile.
Whatever embarrassment or discomfort Erin felt from the years that had passed without seeing her friend, Kim did not feel. In fact, Kim was talking to her in excitement like as though they were just at Molly's together the night before.
"It really is you!" Erin squealed in excitement her eyes widening with joy.
Her reaction was comical almost, and in what felt like forever, Erin found herself chuckling.
"Yes, Kim it is me."
"Ohhh I missed you," Kim added before pulling Erin into a bear hug squeezing extra hard.
Once again, Erin was taken aback from the gesture.
"Hey, Kim," Erin spoke.
"Yeah,"
"I hope you don't mind, but I'm in my shorts and whilst I've missed you, I've certainly not missed this Chicago cold. So if you don't mind, can we take this inside?"
Kim pulled back, a hesitant look on her face.
Erin frowned noticing the stall.
"No, no," Kim quickly added reassuring her friend. "It's nothing like that, I just don't want to be late for work... oh what the hell, five minutes won't hurt she said throwing her arms up in the air. And I'm sure Platt will understand if I say I'd come to visit you," she pondered almost scheming.
Erin laughed.
"Burgess, never change."
Kim followed Erin into the kitchen, as the former detective put on a fresh pot of coffee to brew before giving Kim her undivided attention.
"So what did I miss all these years? What's new with you Burgess? Any lucky fellas on the scene?"
Kim smiled guiltily.
"Well actually, about that... Adam and I kind of got married last year. We wanted to invite you, I swear! But when I asked Hank for your contact details he told me it wasn't the best of ideas and to drop it," she frowned slightly at the memory.
"It's okay, Kim. You don't need to explain yourself, I told Hank I wasn't ready to come back yet. Chicago... it's been rough to me and I didn't want to face those demons again any time soon."
A sad sympathetic look fell on Kim's face, as she reached over the table to hold Erin's hand.
"Maybe so, but Erin, Chicago also gave you friends that became family. I hope you know you're always welcome here."
Erin nodded appreciatively.
"Thanks Kim. Means a lot."
"Of course!" Kim looked at the time then and jumped up quickly.
"Shoot, I better get going if I want to beat the Chicago morning traffic."
Grabbing her jacket, she hugged Erin one last time.
"How long you going to be in town for?"
Erin shrugged.
"I'm taking it a day at a time, we'll see how things go with Hank."
Kim nodded. By this time they were at the door.
"Well we need to catch up properly before you go. Text me later, my number hasn't changed. Gosh Erin, I'm really glad you're home. When Hailey rang me in the middle of the night to tell me you were back and you'd spoken to Jay I couldn't believe it. I had to come see for myself!"
Hailey? Erin thought. How did Hailey know? And why would she care? She and Erin didn't know each other all too well, so it struck Erin as a little strange that she would not only find out about her return before Kim, but also call to let her know.
But instead of asking the latter question, Erin settled on the first.
"How did Hailey find out?" she mused. "I didn't see her at Med," she added.
"Yeah I guess Jay must've told her once he got home last night. I don't know to be honest but..."
"Home?" Erin questioned. She felt a headache coming on.
Kim saw the look on Erin's face and faltered slightly.
"Yeah, they live together cause they're engaged you know..."
Erin didn't reply.
"...Oh gosh! You didn't know! Erin I'm so sorry for blabbing it out like this..." Kim's eyes widened in horror of her big mouth. I... Oh God..."
Erin felt sick at the news, and she wasn't sure why. Things between her and Jay finally felt like they were in a good place last night after they talked. She wasn't looking to jump back into a relationship with him. Heck she wasn't even planning on staying in Chicago longer than necessary. So why did she feel so... so... bothered, was that the right word? by it all. But she knew it wasn't her place so say so, or even feel this way. When she left Jay with a clean break all these years ago, it was so he could move on, even if she hadn't been able to. She had expected him to, so why now was it even more of a shock now that she knew he had?
Looking back at Kim, she could see the guilt on her friends face. She didn't want her to feel like she had let Erin down by telling her. So she reassured her instead, even though she wanted nothing more than to be alone with her thoughts and feelings in that moment.
"It's alright kim, honestly," she spoke offering her her best fake smile. "The news just caught me off guard is all... It's been five years, it was expected he'd move on. Especially if I have too."
The last part was a lie. But Kim need not know that. She just wanted her friend to feel better.
Relief washed over Kim's face as soon as she heard that, and Erin felt better for lying.
"Yeah..." she half chuckled. "A catch like you ought to have a few handsome guys at your beck and call..."
Erin put on a fake easy grin.
"Yeah... something like that..." she trailed.
"Anyways, I really must get going but I'll see you later," Kim said smiling at her one last time before heading to her car and driving off.
As soon as she was gone, Erin shut the front door and leaned against the back of it. She stood there leaning against it for a while trying to sort through her emotions, but it only made her feel dizzy. Sliding down the door till she was seated against the ground, she knew she was in no state to be seated in a car alone with Jay. Not with the new information she had just received.
Pulling out her phone, she sent a quick text to Jay, telling him not to bother picking her up as she already had a lift. It was a lie. But there was no way he would know.
And then, she opened up her call directory to call a cab to take her to Med, where she knew with the Doctor's latest prognosis, she would probably have a long day ahead of her.
