Author's note: I've spent the last day and a half thinking about what to write in this chapter in my head, and with the exception of knowing I wanted to include Jay's idea to help Erin, I've come up blank at every turn. I've officially hit writer's block! I also noticed that I'm better at writing the troubled angst rather than the light relief, so the next few chapters will be incredibly difficult to write. But to be honest, I've never been the kind of writer to plan or draft. I just start writing from random isolated moments or a single idea and see where it takes me. So despite the fact that I've got no clue where this chapter is headed, I'm going to try and see where this ends up. I hope it won't disappoint and I hope you enjoy it. Finally, when I originally started writing this fic, I planned on it being no longer than 5-7 chapters. It was meant to be a mini story. But I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed writing out the details which elongated a lot of the chapters and made me end up writing plot progression over a series of chapters. E.g, Erin's conversation with Jay at Molly's was meant to happen on the rooftop at Med the first night back but I ended up cutting the scene short because I felt it was too much to take in in one go and it would be more effective in a chapter of its own. I hope you all feel/felt the same way. Let me know. But creatively, I can feel this story winding down and I'd say we're around maybe eight chapters away from the ending; who knows. Anyways, Happy reading!
"So, Jay. What the hell could be so important that you had us all come in to work this early?" Adam groaned whilst taking a sip of his coffee and scrunching his face in distaste, "it better be worth it."
After almost a decade of working in intelligence, he could say with confidence that the coffee tasted as crappy as it did on his first day here. No one in the unit could make good coffee, they had never been able to, with the exception of maybe Lindsay, but even then, hers was decent at best. He remembered how she had refused to make him a pot after returning to intelligence from, smiling internally at the fond memory. But that was a lifetime ago.
Kim's arm smacking him across the chest brought him back to the present. His wife looked at him with an unamused look on his face.
"Well if you stopped being an ass and gave him a chance to speak instead of complaining every two minutes, maybe he could tell us instead of us all sitting around wondering."
"OW! What the hell?!" Ruzek said, complaining dramatically whilst rubbing his chest with his hand that wasn't holding his coffee mug.
"See. Complaining again. Stop being such a baby!"
The truth was, Kim had barely put any force into her smack. It hadn't impacted Ruzek at all, but since he wasn't a morning person, so he was being grumpy over the fact that Jay's sudden call this morning had him leaving the house without having any caffeine in his system. The sudden unexpected hit from his wife left him a little theatrical.
Hailey stood with her arms crossed and looked at the couple in amusement from the front of the bullpen. Despite her curiosity like the rest of the team, as Jay had left her too, in the dark about his idea, she found herself completely enamoured by the scene in front of her. She had never seen a couple like Ruzek and Burgess. Despite the fact that they were completely in love with one another, they bickered all the time. She didn't think that could work in a relationship, but she had to admit, somehow they made it work.
The rest of the unit laughed as they took in the exchange. Except Jay. Jay was standing rather jittery next to Hailey, shifting his weight from one leg to the other and rubbing his hands together. He had gotten out of bed an entire hour earlier today, unable to sleep and eager to get his plan going. After Erin's revelations last night, he didn't want her to have to think for a single moment that she was all alone in this world with no one in her corner. He was, and he was hoping the rest of their intelligence family would be too. Jay cleared his throat, getting the attention of the team, who now all directed their focus on him. He suddenly felt very nervous. Every gaze in the room was on him. What if they didn't run with his idea? What then.
"So as some of you know, Lindsay is back in town…" he began awkwardly. rubbing his neck with the back of his hand.
It was no surprise to him that Adam didn't look shocked at the news. He expected Kim would have filled her husband in. But Kevin's mouth was open, agape, as he raised his eyebrows at the information that had just been relayed to him.
"Lindsay's back in town?" he questioned.
Vanessa looked at the members of the team around her. Had she missed something? She felt very in the dark here, and looking at the mixed emotions on the faces around her, she didn't know what to make of this Lindsay. Halstead looked incredibly nervous, Upton uncomfortable, Burgess jittery with excitement, Adam looked torn and Kev was just plain surprised. It made Vanessa question: Who was this woman?
"Wait..er.. Am I missing something who is Lindsay?"
In her three years at intelligence the name had never been brought up. At least not in front of her, yet everyone in the room seemed to know this woman well.
"Ah, yeah. I forgot you never met her," Kevin began to explain, "Lindsay was one of the original members of intelligence, she's practically Voight's daughter. She and Jay were partners and they…" he quickly cut himself short when he realised the whole room was listening to him, including Upton.
Vanessa did not catch on to what he was about to say, but it didn't go amiss with the others. Adam unfortunately, was still mentally awakening, the caffeine not having hit his system yet.
"Oh, yeah. Shit. Jay, what does that mean for…"
Kim pinched his waist, quickly shutting him down. She peaked a glance at Hailey, who was now awkwardly fidgeting at the hem of her collar. She didn't understand how her husband could be such a clueless man-child some days.
Her action had caused Ruzek to jump, and in the process, some of the coffee had fallen from his mug directly on to his shirt.
"Oh, woops. Would you look at that? My bad hunny. You should go get cleaned up," Kim said.
Adam muttered something unintelligible under his breath before heading to the direction of the locker room. As Kim watched him go, she saw Kev throw a knowing smirk her way. She couldn't help the grin that spread on her face as she took in his reaction, but nevertheless, she rolled her eyes.
"Anyways, as I was saying," Jay began, or continued rather; No matter his attempts over the past ten minutes to explain why he was here briefing the team, they all kept on getting distracted. But most of the distractions had come from or because of Ruzek, so he hoped now that Adam was no longer in the room, that he could continue without any further disruptions.
"Lindsay is back. Before Voight became unconscious, he asked the doctors at Med for Lindsay and well, she came."
"I guess that's great brother," Kevin spoke unsure of why this particular news had Jay briefing the team so formally this early in the morning. He was glad Lindsay was back, Voight would want her here, and if he got the chance, he would love to see her, but the formality of this whole thing had him confused, especially since judging from their reactions, Burgess and Ruzek had already known.
"Yeah, it is. But the thing is guys, Erin's had it really rough these past few years. I can't disclose too much but a small part of it is Bunny winded up O'Ding in an alley a few years back and died. Her brother, Teddy, blames her for bailing Bunny out with the whole Johnny Martelli case and then cutting Bunny out of her life cause she couldn't forgive her. Said if Erin had let her rot in prison, maybe she would have gained some redemption…or if she hadn't abandoned Bunny after... I don't know.." Jay said, rubbing his forehead with his thumb.
Kim found herself furious at what she had just heard.
"But that's absurd! Erin gave Bunny more than enough chances to redeem herself. Bunny didn't deserve any of it. Poor Erin…" she finally trailed.
Jay nodded. He and Kim were on the same page when it came to Bunny Fletcher.
Kevin let out a loud exhale.
"Wow man, that's erm… rough. Lindsay can never seem to catch a break."
"Yeah," Jay agreed. "It's fucked up. Like I said, Erin's been in a really bad place."
At this moment, Ruzek walked back in, dressed in a clean shirt picking his cup back up from his desk and taking a sip of his coffee.
"So I thought, since she doesn't have any family, and since she's really torn up about the whole Voight situation… I mean she's tearing herself down with stress and worry... she needs a distraction…" Jay realised he had began to ramble and he wasn't being very clear anymore, he took a deep breath and then spoke, there would be no going back now.
"I thought Erin could come work with us in intelligence again-"
Jay was not ready for the reaction of his coworkers. He expected some mixed feelings, but he hadn't really sat there and thought of who would sit on what side of the fence and what their reason would be. What had stopped him mid-sentence though, was Ruzek spitting out his coffee, which was now all over his shirt. Again.
"Seriously Adam? You're sorting out the laundry tonight," Kim said shaking her head. She was the only one in the room that looked unphased at Jay's suggestion.
"You sure that's a good idea man?" Atwater questioned, "I mean you know Lindsay was like a sister to me," he flinched slightly at the use of the word 'was', guilt creeping in over the lack of effort made on his part to stay in touch once she had left, "but the last time she was here… and if she's been a bad place like you say then…"
"That's unfair…" Jay began to protest but was cut short by Hailey.
"He has a point Jay, and for that reason, I can't allow it."
"You can't allow it?" Jay asked in disbelief, his voice growing low in an effort to maintain his frustration. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. When Hailey had been tasked to take lead on the case, Jay had no issue with it. Not only because she was his fiancé and partner, but also because she was one of them in intelligence. Any issues that would arise, they could keep it in house. And they all treated each other like equals in the unit. There was no official hierarchy, despite Hailey, Adam and he being the only detectives in the unit, because they were family.
"Don't look at me like that Jay, it's nothing personal."
"Nothing personal? You said last night you'd support Erin. And me. With whatever you said. So what's changed?" He had to remind to keep his voice steady and professional, they weren't at home, they were at work.
The rest of the team watched awkwardly, the tension in the room so palpable that you could cut it with a knife. This looked like it could turn into a full fledged argument soon, one that the couple should be having behind closed doors.
Kim spoke, deciding to mediate.
"Before we come to any rash desicions, why don't we all just talk this out. I'm sure Jay has some reasons as to why he thinks this will be a good idea," she said, indicating to Jay with her hand.
Jay nodded at the mention of his name smiling gratefully at Kim. He was glad she was here in the room. He knew he could count on her to hear him out, she was a good and loyal friend. As good as they came.
"Okay, so let's hear them," Kim gave a small smile of encouragement back.
"Like I mentioned, Lindsay's had it rough. What I told you all was just the tip of the iceberg. And I wish I could tell you guys more, but I can't. I just need you to trust me on this."
Jay knew if he mentioned how Erin had said she felt guilty about not being to help with Al, and how she wanted to not sit around and wait on the sidelines like she did the previous time and watch Hank suffer the same fate, that the team would be on board immediately. Especially since the guilt had taken such a toll on her previously to the point where she almost took her life. But he didn't know how to disclose that without divulging in the story behind her scars. And he couldn't do that to her. She had been vulnerable and told him that in confidence.
"Jay, it's not that I don't trust you, it's that we can't, besides, even if we could, it's personal and she's too close to the case." Hailey said.
"Before you say no, just know that Hank is the only family Erin has left. Not only would he want her working on this case, if he were awake and able to say so because she's a damn good cop, but now that he's in the state he is, Erin is all alone. She needs to be surrounded by family, and friends, and we were all both to her once before."
Jay hoped his emotive appeal was enough to get the team on board.
"You're not hearing me Jay. This case is too personal for her. Last time things got bad, she shoved a loaded weapon into a suspect's throat in the interrogation room and got stripped. You weren't there when it happened, I was. It got messy and I can't bring her in and have her do that again. Especially when this unit is under heavy scrutiny right now for already being too close."
Jay ignored the gasp that escaped Vanessa's mouth at the information, his eyes trained on Hailey conveying his appeal.
"You only knew Erin towards the end of her time here. She had a lot of stuff personally and professionally going on at the time that led to the outburst," Jay cringed as he added, "I had a part to play in that. As her partner, I left her without backup. Believe me Hails, she wasn't," he shook his head to correct himself, "no, isn't an irrational cop. She was thorough and she was caring and she was professsional. I can vouch for her. Hell, anyone in this room, or even this precinct, who knew her could."
Hailey looked around the room. Everyone else with the exception of Vanessa who felt like an outsider to this whole conversation, looked to be in agreement.
"Okay, indulge me here. Because even with everything that you're saying, it doesn't change the fact that she was stripped."
"She works for the FBI right? Maybe we can bring her in that way," Kim suggested hopefully. The idea of Erin being back in intelligence, even if it were temporary, had her bubbling with excitement.
"I mean…" Adam said skeptically, "does her division even deal with all of this stuff?"
"Right," Kevin added, "I doubt her boss would sign off on her working with intelligence on an unrelated case."
Jay shook his head.
"She wouldn't. But Erin's on compassionate leave. And I thought maybe we can bring her along on ride ons and stuff, get her to listen whilst where questioning.. You know in an unofficial capacity. And we could hide behind her FBI cover…"
"I don't know Jay, it sounds really risky. If something goes wrong…" Hailey began.
Jay was quick to respond, taking Hailey's hand in his own and turning her to face him completely.
"It won't. We have till Friday to solve this case before it gets reassigned. That gives us four days in total. The more people we have working on this, people that we can trust and who care about what happened to Hank, the better. Nothing is going to go wrong in four days."
"I mean it can't hurt to bring her in for one day right and see how it goes? Even if she's just sitting in the bullpen helping out. Right?" Kim asked.
Hailey sighed.
"I guess not, but the first moment of trouble, or anyone sniffing around..."
That was all Jay needed.
"What happens in this room stays in this room."
The rest of the team shook their heads in agreement.
It was settled. For today, and possibly the next three, Erin Lindsay would once again be working in intelligence.
Author's note:
I want to clarify Hailey's reluctant stance here. She wasn't being petty. It wasn't personal against Erin. Her professional concerns were legitimate and she was merely voicing that. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed it and please feel free to comment on what you thought in the reviews.
