Authors note: Some chicago crossover here, including some Dawsey mentions. Not getting into that here as previously mentioned in the author's note as i have a spinoff in mind. Hope you enjoy this one. Thanks again for your support, and now the author's note from the last chapter for those of you that haven't read it yet, please do.

PLEASE READ. Thank you to everyone who read and commented on the last chapter. Thank you to the reader who pointed out they expected more 1-1 Linstead. Truth is, there was more. It just got chopped off in the update and then went missing. I was really happy with my original ending to that chapter and now it's gone. The chapter's given me a headache with how many times it's deleted certain parts. So I've rewritten the ending to the chapter to keep it as similar as possible to my original that was lost, but it's all from vague memory so I hope its still okay. I've also updated chapter 20, so you can now find it there. Basically, the graveyard Kumas chapter but with more Linstead. I'm sorry this has happened, I'll definitely continue writing on my laptop next time rather than my phone like I did with this update. Sorry again and Happy reading!

Jay stared at the drip of condensation running down the side of his beer, watching it trail down the very edge of the bottle. He had been here at Molly's for almost an hour, and he just couldn't get his mind to leave the cemetery, and the girl he had left behind there. He was becoming increasingly irritated, his mind wandering to everywhere except the present, here in the bar. All he wanted to do was go home and enjoy the silence for a moment or two. But instead, here he was, surrounded by literally every one he considered to be a friend, every important person in his life, everyone except her, the one person who was actually occupying his mind.

"Earth to Jay!" Will called out, bringing Jay to the present as he waved a hand in front of his brother's face.

Jay shook his hide slightly, his face a perfect mask as he looked to his brother.

"Yeah, what? I'm sorry."

"What's with you tonight man? You've been off all evening," Will stated, a look of concern on the doctor's face.

Jay didn't want to get into this with his brother right now. Not when Will didn't think of Erin in the highest regard. And not when they were in a packed bar filled with everyone they both knew.

"It's nothing man, just a long day at work."

Will nodded understandingly.

"The Voight case. Right, how's that going?"

"It's going," Jay replied, not quite wanting to open up that can of worms. "Anyway, what were you saying?" he feigned interest in order to divert the attention from his unsociable behaviour.

"Severide and Casey suggested we all head down to Lake Michigan for a fishing trip sometime."

"Yeah, sure, sounds good," he replied.

And in all honesty, any other time the trip would have had him excited. But right now, his preoccupied mind couldn't even process what wonders a boy's fishing trip might do for him.

"I thought it would be good for Gabby to spend Saturday with Lizzie alone this week, so if you're up for it, we can go this weekend?" Matt asked.

Jay shook his head in refusal.

"Now's not a really good time there's a lot going on at work and with erm…" he trailed off not sure how to mention he didn't want to spend any time away, even if it were just a day, whilst Erin was in Chicago. He couldn't risk being out on a lake and not being able to get back to her, or reach out to him if she needed anything or if things had changed with Voight.

"Right, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me. How are things with Voight?"

Jay's impatience grew ten-fold in that moment. Not at Casey or anyone in particular, but more at the situation he found himself in. This was probably the tenth time someone had asked him the very same question in this packed out bar, and he just didn't want to be here. He knocked back his head, taking a swig at his bottle and finishing the last remnants of his drink before answering.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask the Doctor here," he replied shortly before standing up from his stool. "I'm going to get a refill."

He didn't even wait for a reply, or to see the reaction on the face of the three men he was sat with, before he stalked off to the bar.

"Was it something I said?" Casey questioned Will. He understood the tension behind Voight's hospitalisation, but something with the way Jay had snapped seemed familiar to Casey. It reminded him of.. well him, when Gabby had first led Chicago. He had little patience for anyone, and the smallest of comments used to irritate him. Jay's actions seemed to reflect this slightly.

Will sighed, running a hand over his tired face.

"I'm not sure. He's been like this all evening."

He looked over to his brother, who was standing at the bar staring into the distance waiting for Stella to serve him. The woman herself was busily chatting to Hailey, Kim, Rojas, April, Natalie and Gabby. Across the bar from them, sat Ruzek and Atwater watching the Cubs highlights.

As the two men discussed what could possibly have Jay in such a bad mood, Severide quietly stood up, and without saying a word, joined Jay at the bar.

Jay's eyes snapped into focus as soon as Severide came into his vision line. He sighed as he watched the firefighter quietly watching him.

"I'm sorry… it's been a long day. I'm just really tired. Tell Casey I'm sorry-"

Kelly cut him short.

"How's Erin doing?"

Jay sighed. This was Kelly he was talking to. Kelly who too, had dated Erin. Kelly who Erin still considered a close friend, close enough that she called him first when she arrived in Chicago. There was no pulling any wool over Kelly Severide's eyes.

"She's hanging in there. But you know, she's the strongest person I know. She'll come out fighting regardless of what happens."

"Yeah," Kelly said, grimly nodding understandingly. Erin was a fighter, but she was because she had no choice but to be. Her time on the streets, her circumstances in life after- there was no way Erin survived all of this and was still standing if she was anything but a fighter.

"Where is she tonight? Maybe I should call her?" Kelly said suddenly, realising Erin would be at home all alone whilst everyone she practically knew in Chicago was in this very room.

Jay shook his head.

"I was just with her. Well Hailey and I were. We went to visit Nadia at the cemetery. I invited her but she said she wasn't feeling it tonight."

"Man, that's rough. I don't blame her."

"Yeah," Jay trailed, once again staring into the distance, getting lost in his thoughts.

"Hey sunshine, sorry for the wait. What can I get ya?" Stella asked, suddenly coming up to Jay, throwing her towel over her shoulder.

"Refill please, Stella, if you wouldn't mind," he said, lifting up his bottle to her indicating his choice of drink.

"Sure you got it," she replied before quickly turning to her husband. "Hi handsome," she said, leaning over the bar and giving Kelly a quick peck on the lips, followed by a flirty wink before going to retrieve Jay's drink.

Kelly chuckled to himself, shaking his head laughing whilst pressing his lips to his bottle as he watched his girl go.

"I see the honeymoon period still hasn't worn off. And they say the first year of marriage is meant to be the hardest," Jay said, his voice teasing.

"Never. Stella's great. She keeps me on my toes for sure but it's what I love about her. You know how rare it is to find a woman out there who can hold her own without making you feel inferior and has a sense of humour? It's so refreshing man I got no complaints. She's the one." Kelly paused removing his bottle from his lips and shooting Jay a quick smirk. "And as for marriage, it only changes things if you let it. But you'll see soon enough. It's not long now till you'll be standing at the altar!"

Jay laughed uncomfortably, his palms beginning to clam up. The mention of getting married and standing at the altar with so many eyes on him had him feeling nervous from the moment he proposed. So he often pushed the thought at the back of his mind, telling himself he would think about it when it became necessary and when it got closer to the time.

"Erin!"

Kim's voice pulled Jay out of her reverie, his head snapping up to see his two former partner's embracing. "You came?!

Erin nodded against Kim's shoulder, replying something which Jay could not hear. It was only the excitement in Kim's voice that carried it to where Jay was sitting. Otherwise, in a bar this crowded, it would have been impossible to hear.

Almost instinctively, like he was on autopilot, Jay stood up and walked over to where the two women were standing, his feet acting before his mind could think.

"Hey," Jay greeted once Erin had pulled out of Kim's embrace.

"Hey yourself," Erin replied.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, I really am glad to see you here, but I thought you weren't coming tonight?" he questioned,

Erin paused for a moment, hesitating with what she wanted to say before she finally gave in.

"Being... there made me realise we don't know how much time we have and reminded me how important it is to spend what little time we do with the people we love. If I could get even a split second with Nadia now, I'd take it and not waste it and… I err, we-well I guess I feel the same about everyone here."

Jay's heart soared. She still considered everyone here family, and that included himself. He wasn't sure why, but just the idea that she wanted to spend time with him on her own accord made him feel like he was on cloud nine.

Before he could say anything, Erin's eyes widened in surprise as a pair of hands grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her around and pulled her into a hug.

"Girl! It's been far too long!" Gabby wailed in delight at seeing her old friend.

Erin hugged Gabby back, the two dramatically swaying side to side in their embrace, as Gabby rocked them both. Erin laughed at her friend's melodramatic reaction.

"I think if you continue swaying that hard Gabby, she'll end up flat on her backside on the floor," Jay teased.

Gabby sent Jay a playful glare.

"What!?" she defended. "I missed my friend! Is it a crime to miss my friend?!"

Jay shook his head laughing slightly. She was right. It wasn't a crime to miss a friend. He had missed Erin deeply too. More than he cared to admit back before Erin had returned. It was actually upon her return that he realised just how much he had missed over the past five years.

"Ugh!" Gabby groaned, pulling herself out of Erin's arms and cupping her chin to get a good look at her face. "Where have you been hiding these past five years Lindsay?!"

"I could say the same for you! I heard you moved to another country?" she questioned, not knowing the reason for Gabby's move, Erin didn't think twice about how it may have been a sensitive topic to broach. Gabby's face fell slightly before it perked back up. Before she had a chance to respond though, another pair of arms pulled Erin to another direction and pulled her into an embrace.

Gabby looked to Jay, scrunching her nose playfully.

"Guess she's just going to be passed around all night huh."

"Yeah," Jay laughed, but it didn't feel

"Hey stranger," Kelly said, placing a platonic kiss on Erin's cheek.

"Kel!" Erin laughed at the absurdity of her friend. "You saw me just under three nights ago!"

"And you promised you would keep in touch in that time, not just ghost!"

"Fair enough."

"Oh my God! Hey Erin!" Stella called out from across the bar waving. "Kelly said you were back in town. It's so good to see you! How have you been?!"

Jay watched as Erin looked at ease, the flashes of smiles that he had seen on her face over the past few days seemed to now be a permanent fixture on her face. Being surrounded by the people she loved seemed to do her wonders.

"Better now for seeing you all," Erin replied honestly, though her tone was not as serious as to indicate to her friends how rough her time away had been.

"Well we're glad you're back! Maybe one day before you have to go again we can do a girl's night here at Molly's. I'll clear it with Herrmann. We can kick these neanderthals to the curb.." she said jutting out her thumb at the group of men that had now formed a crowd around them.

"Who are you calling a neanderthal? Please, Stella. We are the ideal vision of manhood," Ruzek scoffed.

"I'm sorry Kim, real sorry," Stella said turning to her friend before she turned back to Adam, "in your dreams."

The whole group started laughing then, everyone taking it in turns to pass Erin around in their arms, stopping to catch up with her for a few minutes. Jay was grateful when Vanessa came to speak with Erin too, despite the two women only having been introduced earlier in the day. They were warming up with one another and he could tell with time, the two could become great friends. Hailey had stopped too, offering Erin and supportive smile and telling her she was glad she was able to make it. It relieved Jay to see the two women get on, especially since his initial reluctance to tell Hailey of Erin's return had been partly due to his not knowing how Hailey would feel about Erin or how he would react. His anxiety about that had been been eased now, and he felt much better knowing the two women were at the very least cordially friendly with one another. What did surprise Jay though however was the tension he noticed that seemed to radiate off Erin when she greeted her brother and his sister-in-law. The whole group might have been oblivious to it, but Jay knew Erin well. Well enough to pick up on it when no one else did. Natalie was one of the last to get up and hug Erin, her slightly protruding stomach getting in the way of her being able to do so comfortably. As soon as Erin saw her, her smile slipped momentarily, and Jay was curious to know what had made her react in such a way. Nat and Erin had been good friends before she left Chicago, and now she could barely look the woman in the eye despite the pleasantries they exchange. On the surface, a stranger wouldn't look at the scene and detect anything wrong. But Jay was no stranger to either woman.

And then there was the matter of his brother. Both Erin and Will greeted one another with tight smiles, their lips barely extending. He could tell neither was pleased by the other's presence. Jay felt uncomfortable watching the scene unfold, knowing that these were two very important people in his life who seemed to currently be at odds with one another. And the worst part of it was he was the only one that seemed to have realised, no one else seemed to bat an eyelid, everyone busy talking excitedly amongst one another happy to have everyone in the room together for the first time in a long time.

"Hey, I just noticed. Where's Brett and Otis?" Erin asked, realising quite late that some of their friends were missing. The small crowd grew very quiet, very quickly, and Erin noticed Matt and Gabby in particular looked very uncomfortable. She wished, as soon as the question left her mouth, that she hadn't asked, for now the mood seemed to have taken a turn for the worse in the room. An awkward silence filled the air, and lasted a good few moments before Gabby cleared her throat and spoke.

"Brett, she erm- she's on furlough at the moment and spending a few weeks in North Carolina with Pete. He invited her to some cooking session or something," Gabby paused.

Erin noted how uncomfortable Gabby looked as she spoke, but she surpressed her curiosity and the urge to question what it was all about. Clearly from the look on Gabby's face, this wasn't the time, nor the place to ask.

"And Otis, well Otis passed on the job some two years back now," Gabby's voice was softer now, sadder. Matt walked up to Gabby's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder in support, and it was only then she noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Her eyes quickly flashed to Gabby's hands, scanning her ring finger to notice that neither was her friend. What was going on? They were both clearly together, or at least they seemed to be, and Matt and Gabby were both known to wear their rings with pride in the past. Was it possible for so much to change in five years. Erin felt so out of the loop, so much had changed in the time she was gone.

"Oh guys, I'm so sorry.. I didn't.." she couldn't complete the sentence. She didn't know what she could say to make things better. She knew all too well how difficult it was to lose a friend and colleague on the job.

"We miss him everyday," Gabby said, but then a slow sad smile spread on her lips and she gave Kelly a knowing look. "But we can take comfort in the fact that he's not alone, he's up there with Shay," Gabby paused looking around at her cop and doctor friends, " and with Nadia and Alvin and Ava,"

The somber mood seemed to slowly lighten as fond smiles emerged on the faces of everyone around as they reminisced about their fallen friends.

"He's in some pretty damn good company, that's for sure," Kelly added.

"Hear, Hear!" Herrmann suddenly called out, raising his glass and indicating for the others to join him. "A toast, to friends, old and new, fallen and present. May we hold them forever in our hearts and cherish every moment we have."

"To friends!" The group relayed back, toasting their drinks.

The crowd began to disperse after that, breaking into smaller groups to converse more intimately.

Jay headed over to where Erin and Gabby stood the two women conversing.

"Let me get you a drink," Gabby stated.

Erin held up her hand in rejection of the offer.

"I'm okay thank you. I'm not really drinking."

"An orange juice then, or a coke? Come on Erin, I insist. It's been so long since we've just hung out."

Finally, Erin conceded.

"A lemonade sounds good if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course," Gabby said with a smile as she sauntered off to the bar to get Erin's drink. By now Jay had reached Erin, Gabby passing him as she headed in the opposite direction offered him a smile which he returned.

"Hey," Jay spoke, quickly flashing his eyebrows upward at Erin as he did.

"Hi yourself."

"That was quite something huh?" he questioned. "Like the favourite toy being passed around at a kid's birthday party."

Erin pursed her lips releasing a chuckle, her eyebrows raised slightly as she nodded.

"Were you jealous, Halstead? That all the attention wasn't on you for once?"

"Oh Er, you wound me with how well you know me. Your words cut deep," Jay feigned hurt, placing his opened palm against his heart.

The two chuckled a while.

"Really, though," Jay asked with sincerity, his tone more serious now, "how are you feeling. I know things at the cemetery were hard and it can't have been easy coming here and seeing so many faces all at once."

Jay knew the contrast of the atmosphere of the peacefulness and solitude in the cemetery in comparison to the rowdiness of Molly's was enough to overwhelm anybody. Heck, he himself had felt it earlier in the evening when he had arrived, and unlike Erin, he still saw all these faces at least a few times a week. He could only imagine how overwhelming it might have been for Erin to reacquaint herself with everyone, especially after spending time at a cemetery visiting her loved ones.

"I'm good Jay, honestly," she said, her lips turning upwards at the corners. "For the first time in a long time, I feel good, despite the circumstances," she was alluding to Hank now. "And like Herrmann said, it's important to cherish the time with friends, we never know when they'll be taken away and I'm just so grateful that I got to see everyone again."

He nodded understandingly.

"Good. I'm glad," he said offering her a smile.

Gabby had now returned with Erin's lemonade, Erin taking it from her gratefully. At the same time, Hailey came placing a hand on Jay's shoulder to get his attention.

"Hey baby," she said to Jay. "Want to head home now? I can feel a migraine coming on and Sarge just rang to say the Commander wants to see me early tomorrow morning so he can be briefed about our progress so…"

"Yeah, sure," Jay trailed. He felt reluctant to leave now, unlike how he felt when he arrived in the bar, irritable and ready to run home. He wasn't sure why, but his mood has considerably improved since.

Jay turned to Erin.

"Will you be good for a lift home?"

"Don't worry Jay, Matt and I will drop her. We're headed off soon ourselves, we need to relieve the babysitter."

"Thanks Gabby," Jay said, thankful to the paramedic for her offer.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow Er," he said, standing there awkwardly not sure as to how to say goodbye. He had already hugged her goodbye once this evening and uttered the very words he did right now. It felt weird to do it again, despite him wanting to, so he left him.

"Yeah, I'll see you," she said, shooting him a smile, "and again, thanks for today, and you Hailey," she added, not forgetting how supportive and accommodating Hailey had been today.

"Of course," Hailey replied, "let us know if you need anything else."

Erin nodded, and with that they both said their goodbyes to everyone and left.

Erin watched Jay retreat until the very end, her eyes not leaving him till he was out of the door, something Gabby did not miss.

"You still love him," Gabby said bluntly.

Erin turned to her friend, shocked at her statement, eyes widening slightly like a deer caught in headlights before she quickly turned around to see if anyone else had heard. Thankfully, no one seemed to.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Gabby spoke again, her face exuding a look of trust and confidentiality.

"What?!" Erin's voice raised in pitch at her denial. "I don't know what you're...wh-what are you" she was stuttering now, lost for words.

Gabby looked at Erin sympathetically.

"Take it from someone who knows, life could turn at any moment. It's too short, with the jobs we both do, we're reminded of that daily. Don't wait until it's too late to say something and then live with the regret of what if. You'll never be able to forgive yourself. I spent all those years in Puerto Rico trying to deny my feelings and in the end, nothing came of it except for years of unnecessary pain. Tony told me how you were having a rough go at it in New York, and if that's still the case, do something about it whilst you can."

Erin opened her mouth to protest, but Gabby held up her hand stopping her.

"You don't need to say anything now, just think about it."

Erin nodded, musing at her friend's words. They stood there silently for a moment, before Erin spoke.

"Puerto Rico huh? How was it?"

"It was extremely difficult at first," Gabby admitted. "Being away indefinitely from family and friends, all the uncertainty that surrounded that, well it was hard."

"Trust me, I hear you," Erin said.

Gabby nodded, Erin was probably the only other person in this room who would actually understand what she was saying.

"But it got a lot easier once Antonio joined me and I started to enjoy the relief work I was doing. Living every day in the moment and trying not to forget what I had left behind at home," she was looking past Erin now, staring across the room at Matt as she spoke. "I guess, life brings you back though when you need to be and when the time is right and I'm just so thankful I'm back here."

Erin nodded, she could relate.

"Antonio's still down there though?" She questioned. As Gabby was telling her story, she noticed that she realised Gabby had moved back permanently but it seemed her brother had not returned back with her.

Gabby grimaced.

"Yeah…" she trailed uncomfortably. "He- um- well he and Matt aren't on the best of terms right now so… I guess he's not ready to come back just yet."

Erin had a hundred questions she wanted to ask, but again, she had to remind herself now wasn't the time nor the place to do so.

"Man, it's nights like this you really miss him," Erin spoke. "It's been such a long time since I've spoken to him and with the way I left things in our last conversation…"

Gabby reached out and placed a comforting hand on Erin's shoulder with the hand that wasn't holding her drink.

"Don't do that to yourself Erin. I don't know what went down exactly, but Tony said you tried to help, at least by offering to refer him to help because you couldn't yourself. And I'm glad you did because you have to take care of you first. You can't pour from an empty cup, you break relationships with the pressure that comes with that. It's one of the reasons I went to Puerto Rico in the first place. I need time to process my emotions, I was no good to anyone around me, not even Matt and it started to show with every passing day. But if it helps, I can give you Tony's new number. Give him a call and see how well he's doing for yourself."

"Thanks Gabby, I'd love that!"

Gabby didn't need to be told twice, especially when she could hear the excitement in Erin's voice as she spoke. She pulled out her phone and exchanged details with Erin. As she did, she saw the time.

"Shoot, we got to start heading off if we're going to relieve the babysitter in time, I'll go round up Matt and then we can head off?"

"Sure, I'll just be outside trying Antonio real quickly," Erin said to Gabby before heading outside.

Once the cool Chicago night air hit her, and she was removed from the noise of the bar, Erin's thoughts became much clearer. What would she even say? How would he take her calling him randomly after all these years? She pulled out her phone and plucked the courage to dial his number. She didn't expect him to pick up anyway, it was a work night and he would probably be asleep already. To her surprise though, the phone was answered after the second ring. Erin took a deep but shaky breath before she opened her mouth and spoke.

"Hey Antonio, it's me, Erin.

Author's note: Dun Dun Dun. I hope you enjoyed this one. I wanted to get a good family vibe in at Molly's hopefully I was able to do that. I know there's probably a lot of questions about what's going on with Dawsey, but like I said, it's a potential spin-off prequel so I'd rather keep things vague on that front for now. Hopefully, it wasn't too confusing to the plot of this story. Anyways, let me know what you think!