A frustrated Roger The Alien (tm) was furiously tapping at his keyboard.
"The makers of this ancient Windows 3.1 video game copied the design of my SPACESHIP! Without my permission!" shouted Roger.
"What's wrong? What seems to be the problem?" asked Stan, as he came rushing into the room.
"This is the most frustrating moment since I traveled halfway across Europe tracking down Carmen Sandiego only to discover
that I myself was her. Yes, I was Carmen Sandiego-in the Europe version. They say there was a real Carmen, that's good keeps people on the
wrong track. Oh wait-wait-yes-there was definitely a real Carmen-shit!" mumbled Roger.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" shouted Stan.
"Look, they copied my design without my permission. Here I am told that the entertainment industry has a direct link to my people and
they don't even consult me on wing designs. I do like the Perry Mason theme in the beginning though!" replied Roger.
"Yeah, that's true, you might have a case here" said Stan, flipping through a classified CIA notebook on the entertainment industry.
"I'm taking their asses to court" said Roger.
"No no no Roger, that won't fly. I remember all too well the Han Solo VS. Hudsonsoft case over the Millenium Falcon" warned Stan.
"I'm gonna do it!" said Roger.
One week later...
"Roger, we have a bigger crisis on our hands. Turns out your people want all of us Earthlings dead" shouted Stan.
"Wha-wha-what?" asked Roger.
"It's cuz of that movement you started online protesting about your ship designs being used without license" said Stan, pointing out the window as hundreds of ship fleets could be seen demolishing houses in the neighborhood.
"Oh-fuck!" said Roger.
Later...
At the Space Command Super Force in Area 51:
"We're doing a tremendous amount of work in space" said Stan, as he gained control of a command station.
"Hey what video game is that?" asked Roger.
"Uhh-it's a lot of fun. It's called Destroy Roger's Home Planet 3 it won lots of awards" said Stan.
"WHAT?" shouted Roger.
"Me and my big mouth" said Stan.
"IceyShopATron is peaceful we don't even use weapons" said Roger.
"It's gonna take more than cheesy Star Wars references to change my mind on this. CIA ordered me to destroy your planet by the way it's not
like I have a choice. If I say no I'm dead. From the looks of it if I don't blow up your planet we are ALL just-dead" said Stan.
"Meet my new persona," said Roger, flouncing his cinnamon bun hairstyle. "Princess Greya Orgasma of IceShopaTron"
"Instead of Leia Organa? Oh god-you didn't-uhh-I'll try to not think about it. Look, I just blew up a giant asteroid. I doubted there was any life on it except that chunk of ice it had" said Stan.
"Thank God that wasn't my planet" said Roger.
"Well what WAS your planet? What does it look like?" said Stan, attempting to aim the top secret weapon device at another planet in space.
"Uhhh-it looks kinda like-uhhh...THAT ONE!" shouted Roger.
Stan blew up a planet, possibly killing billions of aliens.
"Uhh-by the look on your face I doubt that was your planet" said Stan.
"No, it wasn't. I totally hated those guys. Hey ya want some beer?" said Princess Greya.
"How bout this one?" asked Stan.
"Uhhh-no-more like that one" said Roger, pointing at a green planet.
"BOOM! It's gone, princess!" said Stan proudly.
"Uhh-Stan? That wasn't my planet either" said Roger.
"DAMN IT ROGER! WHERE IS YOUR PLANET? You're telling me to blow up all these planets, we
are both gonna be tried for war crimes" said Stan.
"How bout I just give you ten thousand space bucks to start a new life in the beautiful crystal underground cities of Mars and
make you the fall guy so I don't have to get court martialed? Everyone will think you were the bad guy when it was really me
and you'll be a fugitive but you'll be on Mars so you probly won't get caught. Been thinking of a nickname for ya Stanny
how bout Darth Laser?" asked Roger.
"WHAT? Can't hear you" said Stan.
"Is that a Death Star or a Deaf Star? HAHAHEEH" laughed Roger.
"NO! It's neither! Forget all this we'll settle on your court case!" shouted Stan.
"I thought you said that wouldn't work" said Roger.
"Intergalactic Court might take it I suppose," said Stan.
"Got it!" replied Roger, giving Stan a thumbs up.
Stan put his palm over his face.
"I just don't get it. You really need to get your personas under control" said Stan.
"Why? I have a contract that states I need to meet with Jabba the Hutt after 3 in the morning" said Roger.
"Princess Greya is a psychopath!" shouted Stan.
"No you are! You didn't have to blow up all that shit I told you to blow up-and man what a good job you did blowing that shit up. John Blolton would be proud" said Roger.
"SHUT UP ROGER!" shouted Stan.
"My lips are sealed like a stiched up sock puppet. Anything else you want to tell me, Daddy?" asked Roger.
"I'm NOT your father" said Stan.
"Come on say it. Tell me you're my daddy" said Roger.
"NO!" shouted Stan.
"Sorry for the mess by the way," said Roger, giving Stan more money.
"Oh I'm so thrilled I have money" said Stan sarcastically.
"More where that came from," said Roger, nudging Stan.
"Stop it Roger I do not care" protested Stan.
"When people ask me who's your daddy? I'm sayin' STAN THE MAN" replied Roger.
To be continued...
