Author's Note: So I decided to delete my original Dance of Darkness, realizing that it was not taking the shape of how I wanted to write my sequel. This is the new beginning and you will find the thread of TROS interwoven in my retelling, but this AU is all my own. I cannot rewrite the movie...but I can tell a different story. A familiar stranger if you will.
Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Star Wars. I simply play in their world.
Reviews: For those of you who reviewed the original work, thank you. I hope you will come back and tell me how this one fares. For better or for worse.
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away...
"Time does not heal all wounds...not when it
came to you and me. With us-time is the dagger
and distance in the wound...
The more time that goes by, the more distance
there is between us and deeper I am hurt...
...So no, time doesn't heal all wounds
In fact, sometimes it cuts you deeper."
-Ranata Suzuki
Kylo Ren
I dream of her, night after endless night. No amount of distance can separate her from my thoughts.
In the stars I see the light of her soul, so close I feel as if I could capture them in the palm of my hand...only to realize that it is but an illusion and she is so far out of my reach that there is nothing but emptiness where she once roamed.
Her absence is a scar on my soul just as deep and as physical as the one left on my face.
My hand lifts to touch the groove along my cheek and I close my eyes, the memories of her all that are left to me.
"Ben," fractured amber looking up at me through lashes so long they cast shadows upon her face, "don't leave me."
I am reaching for her, this other half of my sundered soul.
"Supreme Leader we're approaching Mustafar now."
I drop my hand, clenching it hard as the lilting cadence of her voice fades from my memory.
She is not here, only an empty void where once her kindled light was held against the shadows of my soul.
"On my way."
There is no more light. She took it all with her when she left me in ruin.
Now there is only the darkness and the rage that hollows my heart and tinges all that I see in a haze of blood.
Once I thought to love...to finally live.
Now there is only the cruel ravages of war, of death in the wake of every step I take.
Ben Solo died all those months ago.
Only Kylo Ren remains and it is this face the galaxy will remember.
Mustafar
The hot stench of burning sulfur, the acrid taste of ash that clings to the back of my throat.
Sweat in my eyes, sharp and stinging, the taste of salt upon my lips.
Death and destruction wait with voracious hunger at the end of my saber.
Rage, the beast that dwells within me, set free as a sea of bodies piles around me.
A thousand or a million, it makes no difference. The Wayfinder will be mine.
The sound of blaster fire, hot ozone in the air and the dying screams of the fanatics as they give their life for an object that was never theirs in the first place.
Now the newly dead can join the old ghosts of this world.
A fitting end for any who dare to cross my path. Let the inhabitants of this world see Death and know it wears my face.
Silence in the air, my ragged breathing a harsh staccato as I walk through this desiccated world to the last memento mori of my grandfather, Darth Vader.
The Wayfinder.
Three months of obsessive planning now bearing fruit.
Snapping the saber onto my clip I note the ancient Sith symbol carved into the granite tomb before shoving the lid aside, shattering as it hits the unyielding ground at my feet.
The device lays dormant and I pull it free, studying the relic from a bygone era.
A simple, three sided pyramid of gray and black that has some weight to it as I hold in my grasp. An eerie light of muted green glows from within...the pinprick of a red light that pulses in time with my heartbeat.
All the spilled blood, the countless lives ended, so that I might possess the wayfinder.
With this Exegol is mine and then the rest of the galaxy will follow suit.
I will find the monster lurking in the Unknown Region and finally lay to rest the remnants of the past.
Only then can the future be assured. The one I will create with my own two hands.
Dappled sunlight tangled in darkened woods, a single lush note of a midnight bloom...elusive, sensual...
The scarlet tinge that hazed my vision fades before the scent, so vibrant and clear, it has no place in this world.
I cannot draw a breath, a spark of witching Light that flows into me...my vision doubles and I am no longer on this world...
...tear stains on my pillow, a throb in my head as I sit up. The silence so unforgiving, I am drowning beneath the weight of it against my skin. I shake my head and slip out of bed, walking silently across the cold, metal floor of the Falcon.
Even here on this beloved ship I cannot find rest. The ramp is down and I feel the warm breeze flow over and around me, bringing the scent of loam and dirt. I follow the wind, leaving the comfort of the ship for the world outside.
It is so quiet. Even the insects are still, all the world asleep. No moons tonight, just the glitter of cold stars spilled across the deep night.
Thousands upon thousand I see...and I wonder if Ben is looking at the stars as well.
Ben...where are you? Do you...
I dig fingers into my arms, furrows of pain that anchor me to this world. Tears stream down my face, barbed claws tearing into my soul, crueler than any physical pain.
Because I cannot forget...
Damn him!
...my thoughts are my own again and I take in a harsh breath, shaken by what just occurred.
Three months bereft of her touch...of any presence from her...and now this. On the eve of my victory do I but glimpse her mind...a single break in the shield she has wrapped herself in to keep me out.
She thinks of me, even now.
No...she thinks of Ben Solo, a name that has no meaning.
Or so I tell myself.
I close my eyes and reach through the Force for the woman whose tears I can feel falling onto my face, her sorrowful gaze piercing the darkest part of my being.
Only I can understand the war within her...only I can offer the solace she desperately seeks out there in the night.
"Rey."
She turns, wiping the moisture from her eyes, staring into me with incomprehension.
"Ben?"
A slight twist of my lips but it is not a smile and I see her hands clench at her side.
"No."
"Why are you here?"
A tremble in her voice despite the bravado of her words. She is unsure of me...of herself.
"Why are you crying beneath the stars?"
She turns her head away from me, her hair a shield between us.
"What makes you think I will tell you anything? What makes you think I even want you here at all?"
I know she wants me here, despite her evident anger. She has kept me at bay for nearly three months without fail...and yet here I stand.
We both know she has the power to get rid of me. She has proven that already.
I move closer and slowly, without her noticing, remove the glove from my hand.
I want to touch her skin, feel the living heat of her soul beneath my fingertips.
Gently, my lips twist at the sight of my hand shaking, I brush back the heavy silk of her hair.
Startled eyes lift to meet mine, a flush of color creeping across her face.
Sharp cheekbones, almost gaunt and hollowed eyes come into stark relief as moonlight drifts through the passing clouds before cloaking her in friendly shadows.
I frown at the change I see in her. She has always been slender, but there was strength in that slenderness.
Now as I press my knuckles to her chilly skin that strength has become brittle.
"What has happened to you Rey?"
She closes her eyes, shielding me from her thoughts...but she does not push my hand away.
"You happened to me."
I bite back a sharp retort that rises to my lips, I have no idea how long the tenuous connection will last...and I don't want to spend it fighting with her.
"Look at me."
"Always with the commands."
But her words are lacking their normal vitality and she opens her eyes nonetheless.
A single tear slides down her face, running across my hand in scalding heat.
"Don't cry Rey," my arm slips around her waist as I pull her against me, "I'm here."
Her fingers dig into my armor, trying to find purchase as she curves her body into mine.
"You're not here," broken words as her hands ball into fists that she beats at my chest without any actual strength, "that's the problem."
"You sent me away," I murmur as I stroke my fingers through her hair, "remember? You've done rather well keeping me at bay. Until now."
"Until now." she sighs and the words are so quiet, so soft that I might have mistaken hearing them altogether.
I don't know what changed in her that has allowed me so close but I am taking every advantage of it.
A weakness on my part, perhaps. But then Rey has ever been my weakness.
Since the very beginning.
Her hands no longer beat upon my chest, she has dropped them so that the tips brush my waist as she gently lays her head on me.
"Tell me this is a dream."
"Why?"
"Because then I can pretend, for a little longer, that I don't hate you. That you don't...hate me."
I thought I knew what pain was, the night she sent me away, as tears of blood ran down my face at our sundered bond.
But the quiet pleading in her voice tears open the scars that formed and this...this is pain.
Raw and brutal and I cup her face, wondering impossibly, how she could believe that I hated her.
"I don't hate you Rey," I tell her softly, brushing my thumb over her face, "and this...is not a dream."
Eyes widening she attempts to pull away but my arm tightens around her, trapping her next to me.
"No...you can't be here. I...I closed our connection."
"You did," I agree, leaning down so that my mouth hovers over hers, "but you called to me...and I answered."
"I...I didn't...I couldn't have..."
Her eyelashes are spiked from her tears, gold tinted irises that reflect the moonlight back at me.
Beautiful as only the darkness allows and for a moment I drown in her light.
"Ben..." her lips are trembling but she is no longer trying to escape my arms, "please...you can't."
"Because you hate me?" I murmur the question without raising my voice, our mouths so close I can feel her breath on my lips.
Her mouth opens but no sound emerges and all it would take is single dip of my head, to close the gap between us and I would taste the softness of her lips...
Her hand comes up, touching my mouth, a frown marring her face.
Her calloused fingers on my lips is a thousand kinds of hell and yet I cannot bring myself to pull away...to tell her to stop.
Her fingers come back stained in crimson.
"Ben...you're bleeding...and you smell of sulfur and ash..."
Impossibly wide eyes stare up at me and in my moment of hesitation she pulls out of my arms.
She stares at the blood on her fingers for far longer than I like before lifting her gaze to mine.
"Where are you?"
I lift a mocking brow in her direction at the question but a part of me rejoices to hear the snap in her voice, no longer sounding so broken...so lost.
I cross my arms and stare her down.
"Questions Rey? After months of nothing but silence. Where are you?"
She turns her head, biting her lip and I see her digging her nails into her palms.
I sigh and drop my arms, relenting. It won't do any harm to tell her where I am, she cannot stop me.
"Mustafar."
Her head snaps up, golden eyes flashing in moonlight.
I've surprised her. Good.
"Mustafar? But why would you..."
She stops mid-sentence, eyes widening as she makes the connection.
She was also so quick, my Rey.
"The wayfinder..." hands fall loose at her side and she takes a step towards me, "you found it."
"Correction, I have it."
She is shaking her head at me.
"Ben! This is madness, even for you! You...you cannot go to Exegol by yourself!"
"Why?"
Her mouth snaps shut and I see the righteous fury in her gaze.
Despite the gaunt tones of her face, this is the Rey that I know...and adore.
"Because it's suicide you idiot!"
She stalks back over to me and pokes her finger into my chest. I might have laughed at this sudden turn of events...if I had such emotions left in me.
She is no longer skittish and trying to keep her distance from me.
"You know what's waiting out there...you...you can't!"
I grasp her hand in mine, forestalling any more words she would speak in that one gesture.
"I do know what's out there...and I intend to kill him."
"No, no! He's too strong...you can't you'll...you'll..."
"I'll what?" I ask her softly, my voice cutting, "Die? What does it matter to you if I lose my life? That is the outcome that your Resistance wants. My death...and the end of this war."
She glares up at me, heedless of the tears that spill from her eyes and I watch the trembling of her mouth as her hand grips mine.
"Yes...I...we want to end this war...but Ben...how could you even think that I want you dead?"
"Because you hate me, you said so yourself."
"I...I...no...that isn't..."
The last vestiges of my control snap beneath her hesitation and I let go of her hand to cup her face.
Shadowed moonlight illuminates her beauty for a fleeting moment and that is all I need.
My mouth captures hers, silencing whatever lie she was about to tell.
Silken heat and lips that part in surrender beneath mine.
A low growl in the back of my throat as I pull her into my embrace, her arms already twinning around my neck, the feel of her fingers burying in my hair.
The press of her body to mine...the soft sigh in my mouth...I am drowning in the taste of her, denied for so long.
"Ben," her mouth lifting from mine and that wretched name snaps me out of this madness.
I thrust her away from me, breathing heavily, my blood a roar inside my mind.
"You should not kiss your enemy like that Rey," whispered words from my lips and I watch with avid eyes as she presses her fingers to her mouth, "I just might believe that you don't hate me."
She stumbles away from me, her body shaking and I doubt it is from the cold.
I should know, there is an inferno in my soul from that brief touch of her lips to mine.
I turn my back to her, fingers digging grooves into my palms as I strive for a calm I do not feel.
"This war will end, I promised you that much...and I will keep that promise."
"Ben..."
Anguish in her voice and I turn my head, feeling the flash of my temper at that name she refuses to give up calling me by.
"I am Kylo Ren," I tell her harshly, "Ben Solo is dead. You would do well to remember that."
Denial caught in amber is the last image burned into me before I release the Bond between us.
"Lord Ren your orders?"
Ap'lek's guttural voice coming from behind as I stare down at the wayfinder.
I sense only minutes have passed since I picked up the device but my Bond with Rey...
It feels as though we stood for hours, speaking to each other.
The Bond...the dynamics have changed and I am uncertain as to why.
Perhaps our time apart is the reason for the distortion.
"Burn the bodies," I tell my Knight, aware that he is awaiting my command, "let their funeral pyre be a warning to anyone else who dares to come here."
This world is nothing more than a graveyard and I am done with the ghosts that haunt these ruins.
I have what I need, I see no reason to linger and turn from the hollow shell that once housed my grandfather's prize.
"Rendezvous with the Tempest, tell Pryde to keep the rest of the fleet in orbit around Mustafar until I return."
"Where will you go Lord Ren?"
I look down at the wayfinder, hear the insidious whispers that crawl through my mind, the cold touch of shadow in my bones.
Don't do it Ben! You can't go alone!
She forgets herself. I am always alone and I shut the memory of her plaintive cries from my thoughts.
She is my weakness and where I go next, I cannot afford to waiver.
"To Exegol."
