Author's Update: The rest of the interlude! Since the last chapter was so short, I had to make up for it.
Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Star Wars. I simply play in their world.
Reviews! Reviews! Thank you so much to my readers who take a few minutes out of your day to leave me a comment. Your reviews me everything to me!
"You were the
pieces of me
I shared with
no one else."
-B.M
Rey
"Gah!"
I dodge the training sphere, but I wasn't fast enough and the laser cuts across my wrist and I lose my staff as my fingers go numb.
"Damn it!"
I needed to be out here training. Doing something.
I can't be back at camp with all those eyes watching me.
Pitying me. Wondering about me.
Finn and Poe's words come back as I hide behind a tree, waiting for the feeling to return to my hand.
"Poe...Finn, why are you two back so soon?" Leia demands arms crossed over her chest, "I thought I gave you orders to go and meet up with Boolia. We needed those supplies."
I remember that Boolia oversees the Sinta Glacier Colony. Not exactly allied with the Resistance but a sympathizer who has manage, to date, to not get caught giving us the surplus the mines hold.
"Yeah about that," replies Poe scratching the back of his head, "We were almost there but had to turn around rather abruptly."
"Why?" The words are out of my mouth before Leia can ask and she lifts an eyebrow to me but doesn't reprimand me for talking over her.
"First Order was there." Finn answers grimly, "Boolio just managed to get us a message before they showed up, warning us to stay away."
"First Order...but why?"
"Don't know," Finn shrugs, "Boolio couldn't say too much without giving himself away."
I've noticed that both Poe and Finn haven't been able to look me in the eye since their return to base.
Something is up with the pair of them. They're...hiding something from me.
I can feel it.
"That's not the only thing is it? Well come on," Leia tells them, "lets hear it. We haven't got all day to stand around."
"Yeah, we do." Poe takes a deep breath and turns to me. "Rey...they're looking for you. The First Order."
I shrug, wondering why he sounds so anxious about that.
"So? They're hunting all of us. How is that new?"
"No, I mean...they're hunting you specifically. It's all over the holonet. First Order has given the command to every planet in the galaxy that you are to be found and handed over them."
I stare at him in stunned shock.
So does everyone else.
"I...why?"
"Don't know...but it's clear that they want you and they're making damn sure the rest of the galaxy knows it."
Leia and I exchange looks.
Kylo Ren is now the Supreme Leader. That order...could only have come from him.
"Is that all Dameron? Fine, you and Finn check in with Kin, see if he has any more intelligence to add to your report."
Leia dismisses everyone and comes to stand by me.
"Rey? What is it?"
"It's," but I pause when other members of the Resistance stop and stare at me, curiosity and a faint touch of pity in their eyes, "it's nothing. I'm going to go train. If it's true that the First Order is hunting me then I need to be ready for them."
Leia stares at me, her eyes narrowed...and I see them slide away and take in her people who suddenly remember that they have other places to be.
"Alright. Go train. Just don't be all day about it."
"Thank you...Master."
A slight twist of her lips and she shakes her head at me, walking away.
I know she's disappointed in me that I won't talk to her.
It's not that I don't want to talk to her...I just can't.
Not now.
The feeling returns to my hand and I unhook my saber, the hum of the lit crystal a familiar one now.
I was done messing with this training sphere. I just have to disable it and my time would be over with.
I come out rolling from behind the tree...but the training sphere somehow anticipated my move and I feel the sharp sting cut across my arm.
"Damn you!" I snarl, my temper igniting as I quickly change hands. I was not going to drop my weapon this time.
I turn snapping out my saber...but the sphere spins away, missing it by inches.
It's too fast for me to keep up with and I can't move out of the way before I feel the hit between my shoulder blades.
That hurt!
My anger at the training droid...and Poe and Finn's news...at the goddamn universe...a snarl of pure frustration as I spin...intending to impale it to the tree...
...and Ren is standing where the sphere had been only seconds ago.
"Ah!"
Shock that he's here...my confusion that I hadn't sensed him at all snuffs out my anger...but I'm still in motion and he's too close!
Ren thrusts out his hand...and I come to a jarring halt when he slams the Force against my saber.
"Ren!"
I can't hold back my relief that I hadn't hurt him.
Neither can I stop my heart from clenching at the sight of him.
He is a dark shadow out here among the sprawling green.
I gaze into shards of obsidian that are his eyes, unable to look away from him. His hair falls in messy waves around his face and I clench my hand around my saber, wanting nothing more than to reach up and brush it back.
Even now he still has the power to move my heart.
I don't think there is anything in this universe that will ever compel me to stop wanting this man.
I blink, realizing that I've been staring at him this entire time...and he hasn't said a word.
"I could have killed you!"
I snap out the words more harshly than what I intended but I'm embarrassed and more than a little disgusted that I let myself be distracted by him again.
He's shaking his head at me and his mouth is a harsh line.
"Not like that you won't."
Alright so maybe he took me off guard by using the Force to block my saber but how was I to know he could...
A hiss in the air, the sound of the training sphere coming to test my reflexes and I turn instinctively to block it.
Ren is already in front of me, his hand lifts and sends the training sphere spinning through the air and far away from us.
The laser it just fired goes awry, hitting a tree instead of me.
"That's my job!"
I'm the one who is suppose to stop it from hitting me, not him.
"A poor effort then."
Oh yes because the great Kylo Ren can do it so effortlessly!
A growl in the air that startles me...until I realize I'm the one making the sound...and I shut down my saber.
Now that the sphere was gone I didn't need it anymore.
He turns and I glare at him, more annoyed than mad that he's interrupted my training.
"What are you doing here?"
A gleam in his eyes and I swear if I didn't know better I would think he was trying hard not to laugh at me.
"You seem to be struggling."
Oh, so now he can just show up and point out what I already know?
I shove the saber back into the holder at my side and snatch up my fallen staff.
I might be getting used to wielding a saber but it still didn't feel like it should.
Like an extension of myself, not the way my staff does.
"I can handle a stupid training droid!"
My anger has me by the throat and I growl the words at him. So what if I'm struggling. I didn't ask him to be here in the first place.
"Not like that you can't," his tone is cool to the point of being distant, "Anger can be useful...but only if you focus it."
He's speaking to me like Master whose apprentice has failed to grasp a lesson.
Once I would have listened to him, knowing that all he was trying to do was help me learn. Help me grow into the Jedi I wanted to become.
But that was before...our parting.
Before I learned that he had sent the First Order to hunt me down as I were some wild animal to be captured.
"I'm not angry."
But my words are angry and I know it is a lie even as I try to deny them.
I am angry. With him. With me. With this whole damn situation we're in.
I want my Ben back.
I want him back with an ache so strong I can barely breath past it.
I glance at him but his only response to my ill-tempered words is just a lift of a raven brow in my direction.
A look of amused condescension that is so typical of him I instantly roll my eyes.
My heart skips a beat and in this moment...it feels like it did before we broke each other.
When I could talk to him about anything.
My hopes, my dreams...my fears.
But I know it is just an illusion. I'm seeing only what I want to see in him.
"Look if your here just to point out how badly I seem to be doing," I tell him, trying to sound as though I'm not falling apart, "you can just leave!"
We're always fighting now, this is just another one of those times.
He'll leave...and I'll go back to pretending that I don't need him in my life.
"Why are you upset?"
I turn and stare at him.
He sounds so calm...so gentle...just like Ben.
He looks like Ben, he sounds like Ben...but it's not him.
This is Ren.
"I'm not!" I yell at him, contradicting myself entirely. I stab my staff into the ground, pouring out my anger into that one aggressive move and take a calming breath.
He's right, being angry like this isn't helping me.
"Alright," I admit when my head clears, "maybe I am..." I'm speaking to him as if he were Ben...and I stop myself and stare at him with wary hesitation, "but how can you..."
That slight tilt of his lips...and I watch as he leans up against a tree, his arms crossed.
"Do you really need to ask," his words are still so soft, a touch of sensual madness that makes me blink as my blood rushes through my veins, "after everything we've shared together?"
I swallow hard, memories of he and I...the taste of his mouth on mine...his voice crooning words of comfort as the nightmares break me down...his arms wrapped around me for the first time...
A wash of heat blistering across my skin as I drown in the tactile memories his question evoke. He's watching me...and I swear he knows exactly what he's doing to me.
I lift my chin and refuse to drop my gaze from his.
"Fine," I tell him holding onto my calm through sheer stubbornness, "So you sensed me in the Force. That still doesn't explain why you're here now."
Let him try and evade me now.
An almost inaudible sigh from him. When he answers it is nothing I could have predicted.
"Your emotions are in chaos Rey," he points out, a frown bracketing his mouth, "and I am not the only one who can sense you now."
His words are ice coating my soul.
How could I have been so stupid! Palpatine was out there and except for Leia, I was the only Jedi in the galaxy.
I might as well broadcast our location to him.
"I...I can handle it," but I'm shaking, there was something about Palpatine that terrifies me beyond comprehension, "you don't need to worry about me."
I close my eyes and wonder why I even said those words to him.
I hear the rustle of leaves, the movement of cloth scraping the ground and I open my eyes.
Ren is standing directly in front of me.
His dark gaze stares into me and again I feel stripped bare before him, trembling from the way he makes me feel.
"What nightmares are you running from now Rey?"
My breath catches...why...gods...why does he know? Why does he sound so much like Ben?
I can't look into his eyes, not when he is looking at me as though we still belong together.
I avert my gaze, unwilling to show him the nightmares that have reappeared after so long.
But I can't step away from him.
I feel the touch of leather on my skin...his gloved hand cupping my face and I feel the kiss of his soul against mine...and my nightmares come screaming to life...
..the sun, burning my skin...I'm screaming as the hand that grabs my arm is hurting me...a ship taking off without me...and the echo's of a woman's broken voice calling out my name...
"Don't!"
I yank my face away from his hands...and the memories fade.
I stare up at him, not understanding how his touch could pull up those memories so vividly. I wasn't just recalling them, I was living them.
Even now I could feel the sweltering heat, the bruising grip that dragged me from the ship...and that voice...
Ren is staring at me with an equally shocked expression...but he recovers faster than I do and a look of concentration comes over him.
"You're starting to remember more of your past before Jakku."
Impossible. I had been so young, there was no way I could remember.
Fear and panic...a sense of terror that shadows my every step and I deny his words.
"No...no...I don't remember anything."
I couldn't remember because if I did then...
"Rey let me..."
Compassion in his voice, a tenderness that I remember...but I don't want him touching me, making me believe in the impossible between us.
He's reaching for me and I know if he touches me again I'll break down and tell him why I'm so terrified and I immediately pull up my hand as if to ward him off...
...and a vision sweeps over me...
He is standing with his back to me, his hand resting on the throne of the Sith.
His cloak flows from his shoulders down the steps of the dais like folded wings of darkness.
A crown lies upon his head, shards of gleaming obsidian...just like the throne he now claims.
He turns as if sensing me and I smile to see the look upon his face.
Such desire in his eyes...his power whispers to me...and I answer its dark call.
I push back the hood from my face so that he can see me clearly.
How could I have thought to deny this man.
He is everything that I desire. Every dark yearning, the craving of my soul.
This is where he belongs, ruling the galaxy...none can tame him, none can conquer him...and I will stand at his side.
For no one is his equal.
Except me.
"My Emperor." I whisper to him, naming him for what he truly is and lift my hand for him to take. To acknowledge me...and my right to be here.
"My Empress."
Triumph and pleasure at the title he calls me...at the possession in his voice and I watch his hand reach for mine...
"NO!"
I scream at this woman who has my face...but who is not me. She can't be me...she is cruel and cunning...and unafraid to take what she most desires...
I drop my hand and look up at Ren...and feel the punch of arousal hard on its heels.
Whatever that was just now...it spoke to me of a truth that I am unwilling to admit.
"It's not real...It can't be true..."
His hands wrap around my wrists, pulling me against him and I stare up into onyx flame.
There is no doubt that he and I just shared the same vision.
"I will take your nightmares from you," he whispers to me, sensual and full of promises if only I would yield to him, "do not fear the darkness Rey. It is a part of you...as you are a part of me."
I open my mouth but I can't get any words out and then his mouth is stealing the breath from my lungs.
His hands hold my wrists in place but it is his mouth that binds my soul.
He feels like Ben. He tastes like him...and I surrender to my desire.
His lips are warm, gentle and coaxing, no longer demanding and I sigh into him.
I want him...I want to be with him.
His mouth lifting from mine and the words to beg him not to stop crowd my tongue.
He releases my wrists and I open my eyes, blinking at him, my mind drunk of the pleasure still coursing through me.
His fingers brush a strand of hair from my eyes and I do nothing to stop him touching me.
"Rey," I tremble to hear the longing in him when he speaks my name, "stop running from me." His words crash like a storm upon my soul, "You want me...just as much as I want you."
I wish that he was lying...but he speaks the truth that lays bare all the secrets I try to hide from him.
"I...I..."
I see the flash of satisfaction in his dark gaze and he moves to kiss me again but that instant of satisfaction I saw has snapped me out of the madness that has gripped me.
I shove hard at his chest and my unexpected action has him stumbling away from me. I use those precious seconds to put distance between us.
"I won't," my chest is heaving and I am desperately trying to get the breath back he stole from me, "I can't...not like that..."
I wasn't going to become that woman in the vision we shared.
She had nothing of love inside of her. She wanted to possess Ren. To chain his soul forever to darkness.
That was not me.
That would never be me.
I snatch up my staff that I had buried in the ground and hold it across my body when I see Ren regain his feet.
He regards me with a strange light in his eyes.
Before when he had first arrived I had seen the hesitation in him...as though something were weighing heavily on his mind.
But I saw no such confusion now. It was as if he had come to some kind of decision...and I shivered to think what it was.
"I will find you, I always do."
Calm words, the strength of his indomitable will behind them and there is no doubt in my mind that he will do just that.
He has already started.
"It's only a matter of time. You can't hide forever from me Rey."
I can feel his need...his desire to have me.
"Stop it...just stop!"
That wasn't Ben...he never wanted my submission...he only ever wanted my love and the tears slip free.
"Why won't you stop haunting me?" My question is less a demand and more of plea, "I told you..it's over between us."
I thought I had banished him from my life...from my heart. But here he stands and every time he talks to me...every time he touches me...I grow more confused.
He speaks like Ren...but he touches me like Ben.
I watch him brush the leaves from his armor, seemingly unperturbed by my outburst.
I can't help but notice that the more out of control I feel...the calmer he becomes.
As though we were feeding off of each other's emotions.
"It is never over between us," his words wash over me, drowning me further in denial, "you and I...we belong together."
He stares at me and I can only wonder what is going through his mind right now.
"When we see each other next," a pause as if to make sure he has my undivided attention, "I will tell you the truth about your nightmares."
Shock leaves me gaping at him.
"What truth?" How could he possibly know anything about my nightmares...I could hardly remember them myself...but he is beginning to fade.
"Ren?" I call out to him but his only response is to give me that slightly mocking smile, "Ren!"
But it's too late.
He's gone and with him the answer to my questions.
"Damn you Ren!"
The training sphere is back and without thinking I snap my saber out, throwing it at the device and as I expected it dodges the attack...but not before I swing my staff around, smashing it to the ground as the saber returns to my grip.
Now my training was done...but my battle with Ren, I feared, was just beginning.
He was right about one thing.
This wasn't over between us.
