"So 2021 begins". Reluctantly Amanda Rollins gets up off the sofa, pulling herself away from the warm comfort of Sonny Carisi's side.

They'd sat down on the sofa barely an hour ago to watch the New Years special. Amanda had started to doze off almost immediately. Sonny reached over and pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and covered Amanda with it. As he did, she turned slightly, and curled into his side. Jessie was asleep already in the chair as well. Sonny looked over at his briefcase, if he could just reach it, he could read through some of his briefs without disturbing either one of them. Nope, too far. Instead he turned to the TV. Sonny both relished and resented the closeness. He hadn't been by Amanda's for a few weeks. Not just because he'd been incredibly busy, but also it was too hard on him to pretend this wasn't exactly what he wanted. To be with Amanda and the girls all the time. He knew Amanda didn't feel the same about him, but he'd been hopelessly in love with her for years. Settling for being her best friend allowed him to be with them, but it wasn't in the way he wanted.

He tried to focus on the TV, and not on how, in her sleep, she allowed her body to get closer and closer, eventually wrapped around him, one hand curled up under her, the other lying on his Fordham Law sweatshirt. She shifted again, her good knee coming up to wrap around his thigh and he felt as much as heard her sigh deeply. He tried to think of anything other than the heat he felt coming off her like waves. This wasn't the first time her body had been drawn to him when she was asleep. He knew he was not what she wanted though, she'd made that clear a couple times. He kept his arm on the back of the sofa, and not around her, which is where he wanted it to be. If he were smart, he'd stay away from her altogether, but when he wasn't with her, that's all he thought about anyway. He was apparently a glutton for punishment. He'd be going over this night in his mind for weeks to come.

Then the buzzing from her phone, and then his. Amanda startled, and immediately pulled her leg and hand away from him, and asked "What is it"? as she reached for her phone.

She gets her badge and gun from her safe, and turns back to see Sonny is carefully lifting Jessie from the chair, a limp doll at first, but she wraps her tiny arms around his neck when he lifts her all the way up.

Amanda doesn't have to say anything, Sonny whispers "You go, I got this". While he's standing there holding her girl, Amanda closes the gap between them, pulling Jessie's hair back behind her ear, kissing her forehead and looks up at Carisi. Their faces are so close, she tries to suppress the flush she feels rushing to her cheeks. She mouths the words "Thank You", and hesitates before turning away.

As always she wants to say more, but stops herself. He's just her friend. He deserves better than her. Carisi gives her a puzzled look, his eyes asking her to say what she wants. She doesn't. Instead she heads out the door, looking back one more time to see Sonny heading into the girls room with Jessie.

Hours later she's finally returning to her apartment. She hopes Carisi isn't upset at having to stay so long, but she knows he won't be. By far the only man in her life she can depend on, he's also one of maybe 2 people in the world she trusts implicitly with the 3 most precious things in her life. Her girls, Jessie, Billy, and of course, Frannie.

As quietly as she can, she turns the key and opens her front door. The TV is still on, but the sound is down low. In the dim light of the one lamp he left on, Amanda can see that Sonny fell asleep in the middle of one of the many cases he was working on. Papers had fallen off his lap onto the sofa. He was leaned back almost in the same position as before she left. She wanted nothing more than to curl right back up at his side. Amanda takes off her coat, puts her gun and badge away, then slowly picks up the papers all around him, putting them back in the folder and setting them on the coffee table.

She stands, debating whether to go to bed herself, or sit back down next to Sonny and enjoy having someone hold her. Having that kind of intimacy, was something she craved. Having that with Sonny wasn't fair to him and she knew it, but sometimes her selfishness won out. She was very protective of Sonny, and she knew he deserved better than her, which is why she never let it go beyond them being friends. It was getting harder and harder to keep herself from crossing that line but Sonny was definitely not a 'friends with benefits' kind of guy. She knew how he felt about her and she couldn't stand the thought of breaking his heart, which is inevitably what she'd do to him. She didn't deserve, and couldn't handle a nice guy like Carisi. I mean what were they going to do, get married and live happily ever after? How ridiculous.

Shutting the TV and the light out she went to her bedroom. Sonny had slept on her sofa countless times before. Luckily since they were out so late tonight Amanda didn't have to be back to the office first thing. She brushed her teeth, stripped off her bra, checked in on the girls, fast asleep, Frannie on Jessie's bed as usual. Feeling selfish, Amanda decided she wanted to feel the warmth of a person next to her. No, that wasn't entirely true. Not just any person, she wanted to feel Sonny next to her. To smell the faint aftershave she knew was a gift from one of his many nieces or nephews, she used to make fun of it, but now it was a smell she associated with a safe, warm, comforting feeling. Occasionally a smell she associated with things a bit more naughty that she should not be thinking about her best friend.

She padded out to the living room, Sonny was back in the same position she'd left him in. Sitting up in the sofa, but this time asleep. She slowly lowered herself onto the sofa, back where she was before, against his side, pulling the blanket up and over them both. Carisi stirred, bringing his arm down, reaching under the blanket to rest on her waist, her shirt lifting slightly so that his fingers were touching the bare skin of her stomach, causing her heart to do a little flip. She looked up, his eyes were still closed. Of course they were. He'd never have touched her this way awake.

Amanda tried to quell the heat that began to burn in her stomach first by trying to close her eyes and go to sleep. Instead all she could think about was his hand touching her bare skin. How, in this moment, all she wanted was for him to move his hand from its stationary position at her belly, spreading his fingers out to cover as much of her as he could and slowly moving up under her shirt, caressing her, or trailing down under her panties to touch her where she was right now pulsing with desire. Her face flushed at the thought, she knew she should get up and go to bed, but for once she was just going to let herself complete the thought. Closing her eyes and lying her head down on his sweatshirt again, she let her mind wander. It didn't hurt anyone.

Carisi had been deep in a happy dream, trying to hold on to it, though he felt himself slowly waking. He became fully awake when he heard a sigh, and realized Amanda was back, and had returned to his side on the sofa. This time the blanket was over both of them and he realized his hand was splayed across the bare skin of her abdomen, dangerously his pinkie and ring fingertips so low, they were actually under the band of her panties. Instead of Amanda pulling away, her one arm was wrapped around him, he felt her breath on his neck as she sighed deeply. Carisi froze, unsure what to do. Feeling him awaken, Amanda began to pull away, realizing the compromising position they were in with him awake. Desperately wanting her, Sonny Carisi decided just one last time he'd try.

As she started to pull her leg away, and back her body from him, Sonny brought his other hand down to her thigh, pulling it back around his. This movement pulled her body completely flush against him, the hand that had been casually splayed across her abdomen was pulled away from her skin. Before she could stop herself, Amanda let out a small cry as he moved that hand around her, holding her waist so she couldn't pull away from him, straddling his thigh between hers, they both felt the heat where their bodies touched and she squeezed her thighs together, enjoying the friction. She knew she needed to stop this, as good as it felt, this wasn't in the plan. Sex was something she could handle with strangers, or people she didn't really care about.

This time she began to pull away again, he was going to let her. She wasn't prepared for him to let go as easily as he did, and when he did, she immediately regretted it. Sonny wasn't going to be the one to make this happen, he let her take the lead, always. She was pulling away and he was going to let her. She looked up at him, his eyes darkened with desire, but his hands were now both off of her half holding them up. She couldn't take it anymore and whispered to him "Please, don't stop" and she took his hands, placing them back at her waist, and squeezing his thigh between hers again, sighing at the way it made her feel.

This was all Sonny needed to hear. He immediately wrapped his hands around her waist, sliding her over to straddle his lap. Even through his thick sweatpants, and her jeans, she felt the evidence of his attraction to her, and as she slowly began to move against him. He growled as she did, pushing himself against her as well. She realized she had just had been fantasizing about this a few minutes ago and now it was happening for real. His hands roamed under her shirt to find she wasn't wearing a bra, and she moaned as he squeezed her, first with just his hands, then lifting her shirt, his lips, his tongue, he couldn't get enough of her.

Wanting to remove as many layers between them, Amanda raised herself up long enough to pull off the jeans she had on. Back in his lap, she cried out his name softly when they made contact again and she couldn't stop herself from grinding against him, this time it was her growling at the waves of pleasure emanating from that contact with him.

Bending down to his ear and half whispering half growling one word "yes", in case there was any question about what she wanted. Amanda arched her back, and squeezed her thighs, around his hips. Sonny brought his hands up to her face, leaning his body up slightly to touch her lips with his, tenderly he parted them and took her bottom lip in, running is tongue across it, gently sucking on it until her lips parted in a sigh, and he she opened her mouth to his, their tongues touching gently at first, then, with a growl, she rolled hers around his, devouring him, soon they were both panting for air as she continued grinding against him, if they weren't careful soon she would come undone without his pants ever coming off.

"I don't want to stop" Amanda panted, knowing he didn't either.
"Well you know I don't want to stop". Sonny said.

She stood up, and they both finished undressing, Sonny reaching for his wallet to get a condom. Amanda took it from him, opening the packet then rolling it onto him, stroking him slowly as she did. He bucked against her hands then he bent down to help her off with her panties. She was already completely soaked and ready for him. He kissed her thighs and then looked up to watch her when he kissed into her core. Her eyes closed, she arched her back, and she writhed against him. Finally when she was close to coming undone, he released her, pulling her down on top of him. This wouldn't be long, they had both waited so long and she was already close now. She slowly lowered herself onto him, crying out in ecstasy the first time they moved together, the rhythm immediately fast, building for less than a minute before she exploded around him, causing him to fall right after her. She cried out "Dominic" as her whole body was racked with spasms for at least a minute. She kept him inside her until it was over, collapsing against him, feeling like a warm glowing puddle.

"We should've done that a long time ago". Amanda spoke breathlessly a few minutes later, once she had regained her ability to form a sentence.

Sonny laughed "Hey, that's on you" he stated, kissing the top of her head.