Author's Note: Let the fun begin...

Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Star Wars. I simply play in their world.

Reviews! Reviews! Reviews! Words to feed my ravaged soul...

"A storm was coming

but that's not what she felt.

It was adventure on the wind

and it shivered down her spine."

-Atticus

Rey

I breath in the scent of rain on the wind. Let it fill my head and cleanse my soul.

But not this ache in my heart. It's been there since I said good-bye to Ben and I wonder if I will ever feel whole again.

I wounded his face the first time we clashed.

Now he has wounded my heart and I fear this pain will turn into a scar like the one I left on him.

How many more battles are ahead of me?

How many times will we hurt each other before it is enough?

I don't know.

I have no answers and I wish I felt as confident as I pretend to be for the others. Everyone is counting on me and I just have to hope that I'm strong enough when the times comes to do what is needed.

What is right.

"Time to go."

I look at Poe and breath out.

Breath out all of my doubts. My fears. I no longer have the time or the luxury to indulge my wavering heart.

"I'm ready. Just saying my last good-bye."

"Hey none of that fatalist talk. We're coming back here when this war is over. All of us."

I hope he's right but somehow I knew that even if I do manage to return I won't be the same person I am now.

I can't explain it.

A premonition in the Force perhaps but it sinks into my bones, the absolute surety of it.

His hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently.

He might be bit of an ass but I knew Poe had a good heart.

"Thanks Poe."

"For what?"

"For just being...you."

"Don't go getting all sentimental on me Rey. It's creepy coming from you."

That gets a laugh out of me and I shove him away, an unrepentant grin on his face.

"Come on. Reminisce later we have a mission that can't wait."

I nod and turn away from the sweeping landscape that I had been staring at only minutes ago.

It was time to hunt the monsters in the dark.

"Oh my. Oh my. Are you quite certain Princess that I am needed on this mission?"

"Yes Threepio, I'm certain. Now get your tin can on that ship. That's an order."

"I just know I'm going to regret this...all that sand and I just had my maintenance done..."

I hear Threepio muttering in his anxious tone and I can only marvel how a droid can sound so...human.

Leia is waiting for us outside the Falcon, a harried expression crossing her face.

It quickly fades away when she see's us.

"I don't want any reckless heroics from you Dameron," those are the first words out of her and Poe's mouth drops before catching himself, "we can't afford to fail this mission."

"You're confidence in me is overwhelming General," Poe shoots back, "I'll make sure I don't disappoint you."

The sound of her laughter softly fills the air and Poe is grinning like an idiot.

It seems Poe is the only one who can make her laugh and I am glad to hear it before I have to leave.

"See that you don't. Now go on and give me a minute with Rey before you take off."

He's struggling not to remind her that time is against us but he surprises me by obeying her and heads for the Falcon.

"Master I..."words fail me and all I feel is this overwhelming loss. As if this will be the last time I will ever see her.

"Hush. We don't have much time."

She holds out her hand to me and I see Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber in her hand.

I had left that sitting on my workstation. I thought to be gone before she found it.

"Master I didn't mean...I can explain..."

"You have nothing to explain. Take it. It belongs to you now."

My hand is shaking when I take the lightsaber from her.

There is so much I want to tell her, so much I haven't explained and I'm out of time.

"Go on now," she nods her head to the Falcon, "you should-"

I fling my arms around her, gripping her tightly.

"Thank you Master...I love you."

I couldn't leave without telling her that.

Without having one last embrace from this woman who has become like a mother to me.

"I love you too Rey. You're not alone, remember that if nothing else."

She lets go and steps away and I see the glimmer of tears...or maybe it's just the morning sunlight reflected in eyes that remind me of her son.

"May the Force be with you Rey."

"May the Force be with you Master."

I turn away before I lose my composure altogether.

I promise myself when I return I will tell her everything.

There will be no more secrets between us and I hope that she will find a way to forgive me.

"So where are we headed exactly?"

Poe is prepping the Falcon as I slide into the copilots chair.

"Pasaana."

"Yeah I heard that. Where on Pasaana."

"A place called the Forbidden Valley."

All the lights come across green and I'm more than impressed that the techs were able to fix as much as they did in the hour allotted.

"Forbidden Valley huh? That sounds...not at all inviting. You certain you're reading Luke's journal right?"

Trust Poe to be cracking jokes at a time like this. I swear he'll die the same way.

"Yes, I'm certain. But if you don't believe me you can read it for yourself."

He shoots me an evil look and I smile smugly at him.

"Fine. So why the Forbidden Valley?"

"Master Skywalker wrote of a person called the 'Hermit'. I think that person was with him when he went looking for the wayfinder and never left the planet. If anyone can give us our starting point, it's this Hermit."

"The Hermit huh? No other reference? No age, description...gender?"

"Nothing."

"So we have to go to a planet looking for a person named the Hermit without so much as knowing what they look like. Great. Should be a piece of cake."

I let his sarcasm roll off me as Finn slides into the seat behind me.

"All set?"

"Yeah...punching it in three..two...one!"

Poe hits the thrust and I brace myself as the Falcon takes off and out the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss.

My time for regrets was over. All I could do now was look towards the future and try to make it better for everyone else.

"How long until we reach Pasaana?"

I check navigational just as Poe pushes us into lightspeed.

"ETA in less than two hours."

I remove my harness now that we're in lightspeed.

"Go ahead and take over Finn. I want to do some more reading, see if I can't get a better sense of what we're heading into."

"You sure Rey? I thought you must have read his journal like a hundred times by now."

"I probably have," I admit, "but I still want to look it over while we have the chance."

"Let her Finn," Poe cuts in, "after all she's the only who can read it. Who knows maybe she'll find something besides vague terms and obscure references that might actually be helpful."

I know he's trying but honestly I just want to smack him right now.

Finn laughs at his friend and slides into my seat as I pass him by.

"Oh Mistress Rey do you require my assistance?"

I look up at Threepio and shake my head.

"Not right now. But thanks."

"Then if you don't mind I will shut down to conserve power."

"That's a good idea. Go ahead."

His eyes immediately go dim and I breath out a sigh of relief. At least I won't have to hear him chattering on nervously.

Threepio, I've learned, doesn't like space travel. I never figured out why.

I love being among the stars. I feel so free.

The main hold is empty. Chewie must be doing repairs somewhere.

I settle myself into a comfortable position in one of the battered chairs and open the journal, random pages fluttering before me.

I honestly don't know what I expect to learn reading this again but my thoughts are too chaotic and this will help me focus on what's ahead of me and not what I left behind.

Ben.

My pulse flutters as his name whispers across my mind, embedded permanently into my soul.

I shouldn't be thinking of him. I'm out here trying to stop him...but every time my mind wanders it always circle back to him.

"Stop it," I mutter, taking a deep breath and look at the pages, "quite being distracted by him. He's not the same anymore so get over it and move on."

If only it was as easy as I made it sound.

My eyes fall onto random words...and all thoughts of Ben disappear.

"...has brought us to Pasaana. It is here we hope to find the Sith relic hunter Ochi of Bestoon who we have learned may have accessed one of the secret vaults held by Palpatine..."

I read the lines, my lips moving but no sound emerging and I begin to shake so badly I have to close my eyes.

Ochi of Bestoon.

A burning in the back of my mind like a key being turned, unlocking secrets so old I had forgotten them.

"Rey! Be brave..."

The journal tumbles from my lap as a woman's voice screams into my mind.

I'm not asleep but nightmares crawl across my eyes and I am pulled back into darkness...

...hands that are suppose to be loving grip me until I cry out with pain.

"Hush Rey...you must be quiet or they'll find you..."

"Let go of Rey...she can't stay..."

A male voice, dragging me from the arms that are hurting me...but I don't want to leave.

"No," I scream, "don't let me go! I'll be good! I'll be good!"

A slap across my face, unexpected from the person holding me and I stop crying.

He's never hurt me before...what did I do to make him hurt me now...

"Enough! Rey!"

A voice that doesn't belong in my nightmare, caressing shadows in a steel grip that calls my name with frantic need.

A hand grabbing my shoulder, biting into my flesh and the pain shoves the half-formed memory from my head, leaving me gasping for breath.

My vision clears and I look up into eyes carved from night burning with the cold light of the stars.

My heart that had been pounding now comes to a stuttering halt.

I am drowning in the regret I glimpse in his gaze.

"B-Ben?"

How? I don't...I'm on the Falcon on my way to Pasaana...

His hand pulling away from my shoulder as he straightens, fading so quickly as to be an illusion.

I'm out of my seat, reaching for him...

...but I'm grasping at empty air and I don't know if what I saw was real or just an illusion produced by my mind.

My foot brushes against something and I see Luke's journal upside down on the floor.

I swallow hard as I gingerly pick it back up.

What was it about this journal that was causing these images?

First I was holding it when Ben touched me and now when I was reading from it.

Chewie pokes his head up from the guts of the Falcon, a soft growling question directed at me.

"I'm okay...I think I must have dozed off." I brush hair from my eyes, trying to shove my heart back where it belongs.

Beneath my ribs and out of my throat.

Another series of growls and I laugh weakly.

"Yeah, your right. Too much reading. I should probably take a break huh?"

I don't need to translate that noise he makes. Wookies are many things but subtle is not one of them.

"Fine. Yes, I'll come down and give you hand. What are you working on now?"

His voice disappears as soon as he drops back down the hole and I give myself a minute to calm my racing thoughts.

My head was telling me that wasn't Ben. Just another dream colliding with the nightmare.

But my heart, that traitorous creature, whispered to me that is was real.

That he had sensed my nightmare and came when I desperately needed him.

I don't know what to believe.

I reach out to lay the journal on the holo chess board...and feel the twinge in my left shoulder.

An ache that shouldn't be there.

My fingers tremble as I pull back the cloth from my skin.

The imprint of a hand still red at the edge of my vision.

Oh gods...that wasn't an illusion...he had been here.

A loud roar and I shove the cloth back over my shoulder, concealing the mark.

"Coming! I haven't forgotten!"

Damn it Ben, I'm out here trying to defeat you...so why are you still saving me?

"Rey! Chewie get up here!"

Finn's voice wafting down just as I shove the last of the cables back into their original position.

"Be right up!"

I look at Chewie and wrinkle my nose. It's hot down here and the scent coming off of his fur...well I'm not going to be the one to tell him he smells like a wet bantha.

"I think that does it, but I'm starting to agree with Rose on that upgrade she made to the hyperdrive. The Falcon is too old for such modifications. I just hope she can handle all the extra power we've put into her."

Chewie agrees with me and I climb the ladder, accepting Finn's hand as he pulls me out.

"What's going on?"

"Coming up on Pasaana now."

I blink at him, wiping the sweat from my brow.

I can't believe it's been two hours already.

But I don't doubt him and head for the cockpit, Poe dropping us out of lightspeed just around orbit of the planet.

From space she looks like all the other desert planets I've seen since joining the Resistance. Another brown and orange ball floating in the void.

I strap in as we make our approach.

"So find anything useful in Luke's old journal?"

"No. We had better make for the Forbidden Valley and find the Hermit Luke wrote about. It's the only viable clue we have."

Whatever it is that I had read...that I had seen...I couldn't trust it.

"Well look on the bright side," I look at Finn waiting for him to continue, "Pasaana is sparsely populated so it shouldn't be that hard to find our Hermit right?"

"Finn old buddy I love your optimism," Poe mutters as we hit the atmosphere and I feel the Falcon shake and send up a swift prayer that she'll hold, "let's hope the galaxy loves it too. We could use a miracle right about now."

Outskirts of Pasaana.

"What the gods bedamned hell is this!"

I duck my head outside the Falcon just in time to hear Poe swearing at whatever it is that has set him off this time.

"Poe why are you...screaming..."

He's on the ridge overlooking the Forbidden Valley and I don't have to finish my question.

The air is thrumming with music. A wild, primal beat that speaks to me of life, of hope and renewal.

The wind blowing off the canyon brings the scent of spices, aromas of food cooking against sweet perfumes. But below that I scent something familiar, the green of plants. Of wet soil after a soaking rain.

I thought Pasaana to be like Jakku, a place devoid of life where every day was nothing more than a harsh survival without respite.

But I was wrong.

There is an abundance of life on this planet and I close my eyes, letting it wash over me.

The Force swirls around me as if dancing on the breeze and I can feel the people below us as it flows through them and into me.

Their energy paints ribbons of color across my soul.

Bright crimson and vibrant gold. Sweeping jade that twines with cooling azure. Lush amethyst and playful mauve.

These ribbons whisper to me their emotions and I am swept away by the sea of humanity.

Joy sparking against quiet sorrow...acceptance and loss twining about each other...so many more that tumble through my mind but there is a single, bright thread binding them all together.

A sense of home. Tranquility.

With the land.

With each other.

"Rey you okay?"

Finn resting his hand on my arm and it breaks the hold over me. Tears spilling and I quickly wipe them away.

"I'm fine. There's just," I step to the edge where Poe is waiting for us and see what is below, "a lot of people down there."

Now I understand why Poe was swearing a minute ago.

There had to be thousands of people in the canyon. The thunder of their voices raised in song could be heard all the way up here.

No wonder I had been swept away as soon we landed.

"Oh my how fortuitous, we've come just in time for the Festival of the Ancestors!"

"The what?" Finn grabs Threepio by the arm and practically drags him to the edge. "Explain now! This planet is suppose have a limited population. Does that," he stabs a finger at the crowd, "look limited to you!"

"Master Finn, do control yourself and I will attempt to explain." Threepio pulls his arm back back, sounding affronted by Finns assault.

"This is the Festival of the Ancients,"

"Yeah we heard that goldenrod," Poe butts in, "speed it up."

"Master Poe I do insist you call me by my proper name."

"Threepio!"

I look at Poe and Finn as we all yell at the protocol droid.

Threepio looks at us and continues as if we never interrupted.

"held by the native Aki-Aki every forty-two years. Dancers and revelers travel from all corners of the galaxy to witness this momentous occasion."

I tune him out as he begins to rattle of obscure facts about the planet, my attention captured by the festival.

It was so primal and yet there was harmony as well.

"Okay people, game change!"

Reluctantly I turn my attention back to Poe.

Hands on his hips and glaring down into the canyon.

"We're going to have to split up as soon as we get down there. If Rey's Hermit is in that throng we're going to need every last second we can spare to find him."

It's a good plan I move to start find a path down to the ground.

"Hold up Rey, not done yet."

"What? You've told us what we need to do."

"Yeah but I didn't tell you the rest. Be on the look out for First Order troops."

A shadow over my soul and despite the sun wrapping gentle heat around me I shiver.

"First Order, out here? Why?"

Poe gives me the 'don't-you-pay-attention' look that I hate so much.

"Big crowds like this? They're out here. To maintain the 'peace'." He spits into the sand as if tasting something disgusting. "Bullshit. They're out here looking for sympathizers, traitors...and slaves."

Finn has that hard look in his eyes and I wonder if he is reliving some memories as a Stormtrooper.

We all have ghosts from our pasts that haunt us.

"Rey, wait up. We should go together."

Finn's grabbing my wrist but I shake him loose as I make my way carefully down the rocky path. I don't trust the way the soil is crumbling beneath my steps.

"No Finn. You heard Poe, we need to split up to find the Hermit."

He opens his mouth like he wants to argue but I have other things to worry about, like not falling on these rocks and cracking my head open.

"Whoa!"

I snap my hand out, wrapping the Force around Poe as he nearly tumbles down the slope.

His arms are pinwheeling in the air and I can't help the snort of laughter at the ridiculous sight.

"Alright. Ha, ha. Funny Rey now let me go so we can get on with our mission and get the hell out of this heat!"

Gently I set him back down on his feet and he glares at me as if it my fault he suddenly couldn't walk properly.

"You're welcome." I mutter as I slide down the rest of the way, stopping only when I reach him.

"Handy having a Jedi along. Told you," he lifts his hand as he glares up at the sun, "you need to get out more."

I roll my eyes and stomp towards the festival. I swear he's just doing this to get under my skin.

It was time to find the Hermit and our path towards the last wayfinder.