Welp! I'm screwed, any chance for a last drink?

Chapter 1: The names Constantine, John Constantine.

Alright, ladies and gents let's get to work.

My name was formerly Lucas Robertson, average college student, and advent reader of the supernatural-based genre, my world, yes my world keep up, had nothing of extraordinary importance to it.

No mad Titans looking for some powered-up Stones.

No space travel other than the odd Moon landing every few decades.

No cure for cancer.

No war, for the time being anyway, meh who knows?

Above all other things we didn't have was anything of the mystic arts kind of stuff.

… Unless you add that 'Mind-freak' guy into the mix…

But no! We had zilch in terms of significant difference to other Earths aside from Comic books specifically that of Marvel and DC. That's right folks what I'm getting at is the multiverse is real! If you figured it out already, congratulations you get a cookie.

Anyway, the point of order is this one night asleep in a nice king-size bed then… BOOM… I'm inside a crib as a child, I call massive amounts of bullshit that I died in my sleep. So, there I was an incredibly cute baby with a new set of hair, eyes, and face, oh and a new name. The name, my new name, took getting used to especially when people called me; John Constantine.

I knew damn well who John Constantine was, English, master sorcerer, and total genius when it came to manipulating others, plus the kickass coat.

Finding out I was actually inside the DC multiverse was horrible especially once my latent supernatural abilities kicked into action. At first, it was seeing the outline of a ghost figure with no details, just a white smudgy being that talked without a mouth. That lasted until I was 3-years-old before it began to get stronger which actually made it so much worse because then I saw people who died horrifically, burned alive, dead infants, naked men- that certainly traumatized me for a while.

Seeing the dead and communicating with them certainly came in handy once I began my journey to being a sorcerer, that's right I decided to actually embrace being John Constantine to the fullest especially if someone like Darkseid came knocking on Earth's door.

So if you want some elaborate timeline of where we're at then here it comes;

At 3-years-old I gained the latent ability to perceive the supernatural world, ghosts, demons, angels and those little bastards called leprechauns- Sons of Bitches stole my wallet- anyway anything from a book or nightmares I saw at merely three then again I was 20 in mind and soul which certainly helped.

When I was Six I broke into a fellow sorcerers apartment who had died only an hour prior when a spell went wrong, his ghost told me where to find all the artifacts and books he had on the subject in exchange for erasing his internet history- let me tell you that shit was freaky- so pretty much a dead guy allowed a 6-year-old access to the Arcane arts, a great role model.

A few months later I was already capable of small scale spells which was definitely a bad move, I kind of let the power get to me for a bit setting a few things on fire without any of the matrons of the orphanage finding out so I toned it down for a long time.

Over the next two years, I continued to grant favors to wandering souls in exchange for whatever they could give me, money in disclosed locations, items, or useful information. Eventually, the orphanage discovered a stash of books of realistic demonic rituals sending me to a psychic ward. I mean they tried… until a Demon by Zrotof who was on a power high attacked the bus I was in so as it ate the corpses of those he killed when he arrived I made my escape.

After backtracking my way to the city I gathered everything they confiscated then making my daring move in the world of Magic.

The worst decision I made.

By Nine I was already inside a Demons shit list which continued to grow. I gathered a decent inflow of cash through less than legally optional means but I still did it with skill. Already by then, I had all the fake IDs needed to do the unthinkable, I invested, I invested a lot. Funny really, My body was born in 1993 so by 2000 I had crafted a solid persona that invested in companies that I for sure knew would thrive; Amazon, Netflix, Wayne Enterprises, Kord Industries, Social media platforms. I was a billionaire by 2005 good thing too as shit was starting to hit the fan.

With my riches, I purchased numerous artifacts in the black market and supernatural auction houses non-accessible by muggles, but running my finances began to become rather too tedious as I needed to focus on my studies of magic before Doctor Fate would appear or Zatarra. Settling on using a patsy or rather a highly developed golem matching my persona, Dorrian McSulfur, exactly every few years or so often I have to pop by to make sure it isn't going rogue but that's only a small inconvenience.

So like I said by 2005, I was 12 if anyone was difficult with basic math, delved into the world of damned that the OG Constantine did daily. It was torture, for as my knowledge grew of magic, my sanity paid the price. I lost people I grew somewhat close to and couldn't save some I promised I would. Falling into depression was a pass time for me in my early years but what really drove me mad wasn't anything supernatural but instead the world. SuperHeroes and Villains were appearing everywhere meaning my window was growing short before something too big for the Man of Steel could stop would surely happen.

I never tried to understand what potential Universe I was in, due to it being far too early to tell, I just prepared myself for either the Justice League to turn evil, Zombie apocalypse, or the Joker doing something truly unfixable *Cough* Injustice *Cough*.

By my next birthday, I was already on every dartboard in Hell as they all tried to get my soul by killing me directly or indirectly but as you can tell they didn't. However my hoarding habits of all that was magical got the attention of Zatarra and the League; they never directly found out it was me that committed a few robberies, orgys, and the other junk they stop daily.

It was during my thirteenth year of sweet living did things take a 180 turn when by a convoluted amount of events had me on another planet. That's right I've been to space suck it everyone else, the point was I wasn't prepared. Having very few artifacts and high-level spells that could take on the might of alien races.

Luckily I survived my first planet encounter until apparently, the scavenger craft I hitched a ride on crash-landed on Okaara, that's right the damn planet of the Orange Lanterns, the damn psycho, Larfleeze, killed everyone that wasn't me only because I managed to lie my way into him thinking I would return; jokes on him I not only stole a power battery but a Greed Ring, Ha!

Soon enough I landed on lots of planets I read about in the comics; New Genesis (Never was too tech clever I planned to sell some then keep the rest.), Oa (I stole their Ring too, Ha!), Thanagar (Got some incredible 'souvenirs' from there.) and Apokalypsis, now that was nothing but utter terrifying experiences after the other.

Honestly fuck that place!

So, when I finally entered the Milky Way galaxy with a spaceship (Totally won it in a game of Space poker!) and various loot from many planets from the comics, looking back I might be some type of hoarder, anyway deciding to do a little window shopping I stopped by Mars to experience their lifestyle.

I did learn Martian Manhunter wasn't the only green Martian like in some variations of the comics I even met the occasional White Martian, what a nice family, so there I was living it up on Mar's learning, adapting to what it was like to live on Mars it was peaceful, most of the time.

Yet I still felt that I was missing something once I landed back on Earth, through methods of an illegal Alien smuggling ring. Lucky me, it was tempting to go all 'Red Hood' on criminals and villains but I wasn't about that killer lifestyle.

No benefits.

By 15-years-old and 4 months, I had traveled across space looting anything I could get my sticky English fingers on, killed/exorcised various demons, saved the many, lost the few, met individuals set to become legends, kept stealing, kept saving and I couldn't complain really I've done what others couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to accomplish.

And despite all the things that I've done, I told Cthulu to take his tentacles and to fuck himself with them for example of those many umbeliveably stupid actions the worst was returning to Liverpool once again.

Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom, 2008 September 4th

"The wha?" Came my rather sophisticated reply.

"For the last time John, the Mucus Membranes! The greatest Rock band to hit the streets of Liverpool and we need you to replace Archie whilst he recovers from that crazy Ex of his, what'd you say?" Spoke Chas chugging a beer can, all time friend to the famous or rather infamous John Constantine.

He wore torn jeans, black boots, a leather jacket- you know what, he was dressed as a typical punk rock fan. And I certainly ripped the piss out of him when he called me up for a meet dressed like that. Even dyed his once dark chestnut hair a neon green.

I'd only been on Earth for a week before he called me up for a bit of underage drinking and I had no reason to ignore the request until he uttered that poor excuse of a band name to me.

"Yeah, I heard." I replied not amused. "Chas we've been out of contact for 3 years and you call me up to be in a band? Really mate?" Unknown to Chas I had actually wanted to try the music lifestyle since I've done lots of stuff but not singing aside from a few alien karaoke bars. Good times.

"C'mon Johnny! It will be a once in a lifetime chance-"

"Don't 'Johnny' me, Chas. I wouldn't lie that it piqued my interest! But-" I emphasised pointing between his eyes. "I'm not exactly looking to get my face out there, I've got the League on my back and Demons gunning for my hide. Having me as your 'Freddie Mercury' paints a big 'Please kill me sign' on not just my back, get me?"

Chas guzzled the rest of his can before chucking the empty container into a nearby trash can. "Whatever you say mate, Demons I believe you, the League tho? Ha! Fat chance they have bigger fish to fry than the 'Great John Constantine' the truest of true bastards among us mortal men!" He mocked with sarcasm and a mocking bow in my direction.

"Believe what you will, nay my problem?" I shrugged in amusement. It wasn't surprising he didn't really believe me as the League preferred to operate in the big old US, once I got onto their radar they never made it public knowledge of the investigation about me to the real authorities. One of the few times something went truly right for me.

Tonight I opted for my regular trouser, iconic red tie and white shirt combo but ditched the coat finding it too stuffy for the fall weather. Meanwhile, I really hoped my friend would drop this subject. I wasn't exactly wanting to relive the plot of the character's body I was currently possessing.

My friend simply looked at the rather stoic pose I was giving sitting upon a random park bench as he leaned against the closest tree opposite me picking up another beer from the shopping bag he'd been carrying the entire time.

"John, I'm begging here, before that stupid tosser Archie got his nuts caved in by that Ex of his, he bloody booked us for the entire week!? Now I wouldn't be coming to you of all the absolute bastards in England if it wasn't worth it to yah, wanna know how?" Honestly me be damned I just wanted to smack that smug prick face of his knowing I loved a good mystery, really should speak to a professional about that?

Sighing and against my better judgement, "Alright spit it out you dick, what's it worth to me?" and practically sealed my fate.

"The House of Mystery." Seeing my shocked face certainly gave him the giggles. "The local demons of this territory said they were gunnin' for it when it would arrive in a few days, well that was before me and the lads exorcised their asses straight back to momma."

I whistled with appreciation at what Chas has managed. A lead on the House of mystery was always appreciated and sticking it to the local Hell boys was certainly a laugh.

Much like from the comics I read about Constantine, or myself these past few years, had described that the 'Mucus Membranes' were a bunch of young naive wannabe sorcerers and after becoming good friends with Chas I taught him a few nasty tricks that worked wonders on anything Supernatural.

However it was clear what this was…

"Alright Chas you got me! I'm your Mercury, now let's talk details, locations, payment-"

"Fuck that! I'm giving you the info that's your payment!" He shouted back at me as we walked the nightly streets of Liverpool in a slightly drunken haze, as I put the thoughts of who I would soon likely encounter but unfortunately for that bastard, I'm far more prepared…

"This is Batman to the Watchtower. I have confirmed the target; Delta-709 'Constantine' has been confirmed to be residing in Liverpool, current status Non-hostile. He has made contact with an ally with information regarding a 'House of Mystery'? Have Zatarra, and contact Kent Nelson just to be sure, look into whatever he can handle, Batman, out."

As the newest member of the Membranes chatted idly with his long time friend he remained oblivious to the Bat-themed hero skulking in the night had left, returning to his domain as his allies continued to pursue the knowledge as to where their target would next strike.

Yet both remained unaware of a third-party prowling the streets reeking of Chaos.

"-Thank you Liverpool! GOODNIGHT!" We, the Mucus Membranes, screamed to our adoring fans of the nightclub, Domain, many gathered to hear what we brought to the club as we finished up for the remainder of the evening.

Once the equipment and instruments were gathered up, we went our separate ways, Chas & I heading to the specified gathering point while Danny & Rogers, the lead guitarist and drummer headed back for the van heading who knows where since they'd rather not mess with whatever I was clearly about too.

Making it down a random alleyway, Chas holding back to make sure the coast was clear of muggles, I like the term, and anything ready in waiting to kill the both of us several times over I began to chant.

"Quaerite me ad ostium et pulset III dimiserit caprum emissarium, ut me ad arcanus Domus." With it I knocked three times on the alley's end wall then with a bright flash of color a luminescent portal engulfed what once was a standard concrete wall transformed into a multi realm crossing point. Giving a howling whistle to my mate signaling him to follow along we crossed the boundary between spaces.

The instant we entered was followed by the instantaneous relocation to the specified coordinates Chas had given previously, those being of an abandoned construction site, I know, so cliche, that being said it wasn't exactly 'abandoned' per se.

RAWRRRRR!

BANG-BANG-BANG-BA - SCHLINK- SPLURTTTTTT

It was essentially a supernatural free for all, bullets, spells, fangs, claws all were being thrown around willy-nilly. Well, at least the information was rock solid, no way the current amount of creatures and people being here would be for a brawl without something significant on the line.

Chas seemed like a small gust of wind would topple him over and rather than not having the dead weight, I took a match box from my left coat pocket with a flourish. I striked one of the included matches against the box, dropping it at my feet.

With a gentle 'Fwoosh' the flames spread creating an intricate pattern before properly finalising into a gently glowing orange magic circle, gesturing to the magic construct Chas stepped up standing to my left as we began to rise higher and higher before eventually reaching an optimal height.

Looking around lazily I found more than a dozen groups of the supernatural world watching over the maddening brawl underneath them, Demons, Fairies, Succubus, Humans all the races apparently had a stake trying to get the House. Not all surprising.

I think I even see Felix Faust?

As the newest member to join this little 'sky gathering' the entirety of all parties looked over to me and Chas, many sneered, some looked on with disinterested eyes and the others were hurling insults… How rude.

"Constantine." Turning to the rather intimidating voice I found some Demon, you know bulky bat-like wings, muscular body, mouth dripping with liquid magma, and above all the only difference to most small fry demons was its distinct scaly yellow body color outlying it in the older generation of hellspawn.

"I have come seeking vengeance for my bro-!"

"Llaf nopu eht danl hcihw stluver uoy, sgniw llahs ton evas uoy, eb dewollows yb aiaG, nwapslleh." My chanting was far more practiced and swift before Demon realised too late where in a desperate attempt to launch a ball of magma towards my companion and I, in the simplest terms swatted the opposing attack away like a fly.

As I succeeded in defending the two of us the Demon… not so lucky. It's wings spasmed repeatedly before turning motionless which prompted it to fall to the ground however Demon physiology was far more durable to that of anything alive being only increasingly weak in certain areas. Crashing with a resounding 'BOOM' of force crushing whatever poor schmucks were unfortunate enough below it the Demon soon recovered which stood tall looming over whatever was around. Until the very ground roared to life before becoming waves of concrete and stone overlapping each other wrapping around the hellspawns limbs dragging it into the depths of the worlds consciousness all the while screaming towards anything around to save it.

All eyes soon reverted from the revolting sight and sounds returning towards me, which I simply took my trusty lighter, popping a smoke into my waiting lips, then savouring the wondrous nicotine taste from the cancer stick once it blazed to life.

I simply allowed a satisfied smirk to take place upon my face, all cards on the table that would stop any idiots from getting any funny ideas before the main event would arrive, while adding another deed to my list of things that almost everything in existence wants to kill me over.

Eventually the cock measuring contest began to die down as the more inclined heavy hitters got to work disposing of the fodder, nothing I could really do without risking Chas but I did mess with a couple blocks who were getting a bit too kill-y for my liking.

"Johnny…" Chas said nervously got my attention.

"I know mate but this is what happens when you enter the big leagues, it's a whole other can of worms." And just as I spoke, something headless flew past the gallery and I simply patted his shoulder just as my smoke was almost up… and things would get far worse.

With a vibrant flash of dimensional residue with a hint of spectral plane smoke wafting off its roof, did the famous 'House of Mystery' make its appearance known. It was fairly large and despite appearances I knew it was bigger on the inside, it looked decrepit, a few tiles missing from its scaly rooftop, a spiked gate stood tall while the entirety of its outward appearance resembles that of a scooby doo mansion which did make me chuckle.

This would be mine, I thought resolutely.

Call me power hungry, whatever, I've got to be able to deal with threats like Superman, Flashpoint, numerous invasions and whatever afterlife I would be stuck in pending my, hopefully, glorious death. I was picturing something with Chinese food and T-Rex…

Oh right! The House, well with its timely appearance did call for the conflicts to stop briefly… well until me that is…

"OI, You pieces of shite, that's why you're all here to get that!? Winner takes all so get to it already!" Chas clearly wasn't amused as he gave a look that could potentially start an actual fire and just like that the battle got even more bloody.

I watched with an impassive gaze as I flicked the butt of my smoke into the conflict below. I took no pleasure in what transpired but I also didn't regret what was happening for with each death did it mean one less innocent would have to suffer at the hands of these monsters.

BOOOM!

With a resounding explosion courtesy of high ranking sorcerers gathering together in defeating a rather impressive opponent that being an Elder God which was remarkable since they preferred to play a more manipulative role but I wasn't its mother so it could do whatever it bloody wanted.

It took around an hour before I decided to step off my happy little platform, the ground was fresh with blood giving a rather imposing scenery for the final stretch. As I walked forward without a care and Chas hot on my tale struggling to stay upright with the slippery floor beneath him, did we feel the air, the very magic of reality change, that was when I knew the Universe had decided to fuck me roughly tonight.

She was a cruel sadist…

Nergal had joined the party.

Picture perfect comparison of what a demon should be, horns large enough to impale myself and my accomplice on both side of its draconic head, blazing blue eyes that made you almost hear the screams of all its victims just staring into those orbs and its large imposing body that was half serpent, clearly, and a muscular top which promised a slow death.

"John Constantine," The thing almost purred my name in a combination of annoyance and amusement.

"Nergal, how's my favourite bastard of Hell doing. All done with your nightly activities of sucking other demons off?" I insulted the demon who merely held a look of indifference as he slivered around me with over a dozen of his pet demons following him all hissing or growling at me, but refused to act fearing what Nergal would do, when they should be fearing me.

"I heard from my little bird that you would be here, how amusing thinking you could take what is rightfully mine," He, it, spoke with confidence and assurance which I scoffed in response.

"You'll find that it'll be a lot harder than you think mate," Gesturing with my head to the human and beast like skeletons that were the result of not the Houses ruling they were not worthy. "And last I checked we had an agreement that I stay put here while staying far away from your little paradise back in the States, what ya miss lil old me that much, I'm touched."

With unrelenting speed myself and the demon were merely a few inches apart as its bat-like wings almost encompassed me, "Joke all you will, Constantine. However, today as much as I'd like to gut you and drag your soul to Hell, it is more to my benefit for him to do it." There was no hiding the utter satisfaction and pleasure from his voice while-

Click!

The sharp sound of a Glock's safety being turned off struck my ears while the barrel pressed against my neck, I didn't need to look to know who was responsible.

"I'll admit Chas this is rather bold of you," As I raised my hands while the demons laughed. "How long have you been his bitch? Is Charlie still breathing?"

"S-shut up Johnny! I've got no choice!" I could feel the remorse in his words and the gun shaking against my flesh showing reservation and regret in those subtle movements.

"Oh but you did, my dear Chas." Interrupted Nergal as he slivered behind me and rested his hands on Chas's shoulder. "All you had to do is tell him, tell him how you failed, how you doomed a poor girl to Hell while poor Charlie was raped and killed by my demons all the while you cried in a corner begging for help from God, the League and my personal favourite John Constantine," Disgustingly he licked the side of my friends face as tears flowed freely as he shook even more.

… In another lifetime I would be enraged that my friend would throw me under the bus or saddened to hear of his experience but that was the life of a sorcerer, especially me.

"By chance this girl named Astra, isn't she?" I idly asked not at all to be scared or bothered by these outcomes.

The sudden intake of oxygen from Chas gave me all I needed.

"My, my, my. Another brilliant bit of insight from the con-man." Nergal was entertained and that's all I needed. "If you'd be so kind I'll be taking that coat of yours," 'Shit… but not unexpected.' With more reluctance than I'd like I handed my signature coat with numerous artifacts inside to the demon spawn.

Unceremoniously, after giving the coat a large sniff, he flung my favourite coat into the bloody floor behind it. 'Great that's a week worth of laundering I have to do…' I grumbled inside my head and really it was, Deadpool had the right idea of wearing red, complete pain in the arse to clean, honestly.

Shit was FUBAR, well, more FUBAR than usual isn't wasn't going to be pretty. Chas was doomed for Hell, Charlie was dead, Nergal was rape personified at the moment and the House wasn't planning to stick around for long knowing my luck, welp, time to pray… literally.

Gathering the magic of the universe and that which laid inside my soul I began to prepare something big.

"Oh please Constantine, you think your paltry magic can stop me?" He laughed smugly. "Well I relish this challenge, come smite me if you can!"

Smite him? Thats hilarious, this fucker thought I'd do something like that when I wanted him to suffer for everything he has and hasn't done…

With a smirk I flicked my wrist where a silver spoon now rested between my fingers, that caused Nergal to raise a scaled brow before he smelt exactly what I was cooking, and before he could demand Chas to pull the trigger backhanded his hand away before thrusting the spoon into his eye.

His blood splattered my sleeves and the bottom portion of my shirt as he wailed in pain, "נשמות ערות של עוול לרודן אחר עומדות לפניך, הגן עלי מפני הגורל שקרה לעמך!" I chanted with every syllable becoming dark and twisted, power swirled around the spoon, specifically souls, thousands of them. During World War 2 it was reported over 6 million jewish people died either in Camps or on the run, and magic was directly linked to the soul that's why poltergeists, possessions and the dead still occurred.

The Soul was a powerful thing pretty much.

So what do you believe would happen if someone literally soaked in the souls of millions? Well simple really.

Power.

But like all spells this one required preparation, time and a catalyst. Those being something directly related to those who died, being this spoon taken from a little girl before being burned alive, the preparation being a scenario where many had died and blood ran fresh… however the main ingredient would be Nergal, a tyrant, a monster. Tapping into the hatred of millions was tough to stay sane but not for me, living my life it's expected you take a walk on the Dark side.

"Sorry Nergal but," Flames sprouted beneath my feet, the surrounding quaked and the demons panicked. "Don't you know why everyone prefers to leave me be," Those who remained who weren't under Nergals metaphorical pay, looked to their once dead comrades/enemies who began to rise once again but remarkably slowly. "It's because I tend to leave quite a mess,"

And just like that the undead screamed unholy noises before lashing out and ripping to pieces anything that breathed all while the flames beneath grew in ferocity.

"Now lets start this murder party, shall we?"

To be continued in Chapter 2 , Welcome to Cadmus.