The next day, Ayla went out to gather for Iza in the afternoon; her stock of various herbs as well as willow bark had almost run out, and despite her lingering nausea, Ayla cherished the time spent alone in the woods whenever she could get it. She spent a pleasant afternoon strolling between trees and through meadows and managed to kill a ptarmigan on top of her gathering.
"Ayla," Creb called her after had returned and she and Iza had properly stored the gathered bounty at the hearth. "Sit down with me and Iza, we have to talk to you."
His motions and face were serious, almost severe, and Ayla obeyed with some trepidation. Had she done something wrong? She wasn't aware of anything that might have displeased him, or anyone else - except maybe for Broud. But then, Broud was always displeased with her for no good reason.
"There is something important that we need to tell you," Creb came directly to the point. "Brun informed me while you were out. You know that a child will be unlucky if their mother is unmated. We hadn't believed that you would find a mate easily, not with you being Others and looking so different. But now a man in this Clan has asked for you, and Brun has decided that you are going to be mated the day after tomorrow."
Mated? And so soon? Ayla's head was swirling. Broud, was her first thought, it must be Broud. She was sure of it. His interest in her - and in hurting her - had returned, and now he had managed to convince Brun to give her to him as a second woman to exact his revenge. She'd have to live at his hearth, obey his every whim even more than before, bear his beatings in silence, and only Ursus knew what he would do to her child. He would make his - or her - life miserable, because he would certainly hate any child of hers as he hated Ayla, and he would beat the child as well, she just knew it!
Stricken, Ayla looked back and forth between Iza's and Creb's serious faces, wanting to protest, wanting to ask them how they could let something like this happen, why they hadn't spoken for her - but her hands wouldn't move. And it wasn't as if either of them could disobey the leader. If Brun had decided it, it would be done.
Creb was saying more, but she could not make it out as her sight was blurred when her eyes began watering. She didn't want to be Broud's mate, and she wouldn't let him hurt her child! But what could she do? She had no choice, no matter how much she hated it.
I could run away, she thought wildly for a moment, but where would she go? Alone and pregnant, she could never survive. Then Iza's arms were around her, and Ayla gave in to her despair, sobbing on Iza's shoulder as her mother rocked her as if she were still a little girl.
"Now, Ayla," Creb said when Ayla had calmed down and Iza had dabbed at her eyes with a cool, damp rag, "you know a woman with a child needs a mate. You knew it was possible that one day, you might be mated - even outside of our Clan. You can count yourself lucky that it's a man from Brun's Clan who wants you."
Ayla nodded dejectedly. She was glad she wouldn't have to leave and live with some other Clan and be the mate of a man she didn't even know, without Creb and Iza being there, without any familiar faces. Most likely, that Clan wouldn't even let her hunt, and would find her strange and unclanlike, however much she tried to be a good Clan woman.
"I'm just so scared of being Broud's mate," she admitted. "He likes hurting me, and what if he hurts my child?"
"Broud?" Creb asked. "You're not going to be Broud's - didn't you see me tell you - " He shook his head, sighing. "Ayla. You're going to be Zoug's mate. He asked Brun for you."
"He's going to be a good mate, you'll see," Iza added.
Zoug?
Now Ayla was completely confused. Wasn't Zoug too old? She had only ever known him to live at the hearth of Grod, the son of his mate. But then, anybody was better than Broud, and Zoug had always been kind to her, more than any man except maybe Creb and Brun. He'd even shown pride in her ability with the sling, when all the other men found her desire to hunt unnatural. And had he not accepted her gift and praised her skills just the previous day?
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, though she couldn't blink back the water once again forming in her eyes. But this time, she felt relieved more than anything. She would have preferred not to be mated at all yet, but being Zoug's mate might not be so bad. Broud would have run her ragged on top of beating her, always assigning tasks so she would have barely time to go out and hunt, she was certain. He might even have forbidden it, as was his right as a mate. Zoug, though . . . Ayla hoped that he would be different.
"I . . . I'll try to be a good mate for Zoug, too."
"I know, Ayla." Creb nodded, satisfied. "You're a good Clan woman, and I know we will be proud of you."
Ayla was touched by the open praise from Creb, although she wasn't as confident as him. She tried not to think about it too much, though, and instead concentrated on the time that was left to her at Creb's hearth, wanting to spend as much time as possible with everyone. That evening and the following day, she cooked all meals together with Iza, served Creb as they were eating, played with Uba whenever her time would allow for it, and when they sat together after their last evening meal, she held her in her lap until the girl fell asleep.
All three of them delayed going to their furs that night, sitting around the fire instead, drinking tea in silence far longer than the people at the other hearths.
"We should sleep," Creb announced at last. Ayla nodded, but hesitated to move.
"I will miss you," she motioned softly, "both of you, and Uba too."
"We'll still be right here," Iza said, shifting a bit closer so she could wrap her arms around Ayla.
"Iza is right," Creb agreed. "You may move out of our hearth . . ." he hesitated, but then went on, "but not out of our hearts. And we are still in the same cave."
Ayla nodded. "I know."
Still, once again, her eyes began to water, though she stayed quiet, and after some moments, there was another warm body beside her, Creb's hand coming to lie heavily on her back. They stayed like this for a while, until the fire died down to embers and Creb ordered them all to their furs.
.-.-.-.
The next morning dawned too fast for Ayla - she still couldn't believe that today, she would be mated and her whole life would be changed. But there was no avoiding it, and when Brun called everyone outside, she slowly made her way out of the cave with Iza.
Hands were flying in surprise as soon as Brun announced that Ayla would be mated to Zoug; people had seen the new hearth that some of the women had built the last evening on Brun's orders, but especially the women themselves hadn't had any idea what it could mean. Everyone stopped speaking, however, when Mog-ur appeared at the entrance of the cave, clad in his bearskin, with Goov behind him, carrying the bowl with yellow ochre paste. Zoug took his place before them, and then all eyes turned towards Ayla.
Although she hadn't been able to eat even one bite after getting up - and instead had thrown up repeatedly before they all had assembled - Ayla felt nauseated and had to take small, shallow breaths in order to not lose control of her stomach yet again. After a last encouraging squeeze of her arm from Iza, she followed Brun to the waiting men. If he had not been Mog-ur, Creb would have taken the role of her mother's mate and led her towards them, but as it was, it was the leader himself who gave her away.
As they approached, Ayla kept her eyes lowered appropriately. She couldn't have looked up even if she had wanted to. When she had arrived, she dropped to her knees in front of Zoug. Silently and without sneaking a glance at Creb calling the spirits or drawing the totem marks on Zoug, she waited for the mating to be complete.
"Spirit of Brown Bear, Totem of Zoug, your sign has overcome Spirit of Cave Lion, Totem of Ayla," Creb proclaimed. "May Ursus allow that it will always be so. Zoug, do you accept this woman?"
Ayla had heard their names amid the silent ceremonial language, and quickly got up when she felt Zoug's tap on her shoulder, following him inside the cave without daring to looking back.
.-.-.-.
Zoug watched his young mate as she gathered her things from Creb's hearth and brought them over to his new one. Before everyone had gone outside, Uka had done the same for him already, and he had brought his weapons and started a fire from Grod's hearth. He could see plainly that Ayla was scared, and he supposed he could understand it to some degree. When a woman left the hearth of her mother's mate for her own mate's hearth, she had to adjust to a new set of rules, she had to learn his ways. Of course she would be anxious, as she wouldn't want to make mistakes and anger her mate. His first mate, Uva, had been nervous as well. She had adjusted quickly, though, and he hoped it would be the same with Ayla, although she seemed more afraid than he remembered Uva being.
When he had sat down by the fire and she had put down her furs and other belongings in a corner of the hearth, she hesitated, apparently unsure of what to do.
"Ayla," he called.
Immediately, she came over to him and knelt before him, eyes prudently lowered to the floor. Was he imagining things or was she shaking ever so slightly? Zoug tapped her shoulder, and she looked up, obviously anxious to receive his orders, her eyes huge and glistening wet. What was he to do? Zoug wanted a respectful, obedient mate, but not one who cowered at the mere sight of him. He had never approved of the way men like Broud or Iza's former mate handled their women.
Also, this fearfulness wasn't like Ayla, or at least the Ayla he knew. It didn't fit with a woman who bravely went out into the woods to hunt dangerous predators, and Zoug found that he didn't particularly like it.
Slowly, he reached out and put his large hand on Ayla's cheek, the same way he had always done with Uva when she had been frightened or nervous. It was a man's task to reassure his woman, and it had never failed to calm her down.
Ayla winced as he made the contact, but when nothing else happened, he could see her relax bit by bit. Good. Absently, he noted that her skin was very soft to the touch. After a while, Zoug pulled back his hand, collecting his thoughts.
"Now," he finally said, "I know you must be wondering about what I expect of you as my mate."
He paused, and Ayla nodded eagerly, clearly relieved to receive proper instructions.
"I know that you know a lot already about taking care of a man. Iza taught you well, as I could see whenever I visited Creb's hearth. But I am not Creb, and I might want some things to be done differently. That is no reason for you to worry, though. I'm not going to get angry or cuff you for not knowing my ways yet. If you make a mistake, I'm going to tell you. If you're not sure about something or have a question, you come to me and ask."
Again, Ayla nodded; she seemed less tense, and Zoug was satisfied that he'd soothed her fears.
"Then go now and make some tea; mint is my favourite. Afterwards, you can put away your things and set up the hearth how you want it to be. I'm going to work on some new slings."
"Yes, Zoug."
.-.-.-.
That evening, Zoug went to his furs content. During morning, he'd worked on the leather for new slings while Ayla had set up her things and the hearth; she had ordered it similarly to the way Iza had done with Creb's hearth, which was fine by Zoug. At noon, Ayla had a rabbit stew ready, made from the provisions that had been set aside for their isolation, and he found it to be tasty and well-seasoned. When they'd been done eating, he had gone on with his work, while Ayla had begun working on a bowl she was carving from a block of hard wood that she had brought from Creb's hearth. In the evening, they had finished the rest of the stew before each had lain down in their furs, apart from each other as custom demanded.
It had been a quiet day, and the tension had never completely left Ayla, but Zoug found no reason to complain. She had been capable at everything she had done, and quick to obey his every command - although he hadn't demanded much on this first day except for food and drink. Uka, too, had always obeyed his orders, but she was Grod's mate and attuned to him and his wishes first, as it should be. Zoug found that he liked having his own mate again, who would put him first for a change. So what if she was ugly? It wasn't what was important in a mate, and he could certainly get used to it, he thought as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
