Sorry for the short chapter but a lot is going on and, since I just posted a few days ago, I hoped it would be ok.

AND reviews are welcome!

I was frozen in place, still holding the letter in my hand but trying to process what had just happened. If he wanted to, he could demand my hand, I knew that. He knew that. I just wasn't sure if that was what he was doing.

Shaking off the shock, I took a breath, "Are you… proposing?"

His expression went from intensity to unease, "Um, well I think it would be best, a good idea for both you and for me, and Duncan can start living in the castle, and you can finally demand the respect you deserve…" His run-on sentence told me he was more nervous than I'd imagined.

I put a hand on his, trying to calm him, "Cailan. Slow down, have you thought this through?" I needed to ease him up a little and also let him process what he just said. "Who would take over the Arling?"

He seemed to reel himself in, smiling at me, "I've given that a lot of thought. I believe Bann Mayer would be a good fit. She is well liked in the elven community and is fair in her practices." Ending his sentence with a nod, I couldn't hold back my grin. He's so proud, it reminds me of his younger self.

"Alright then, I guess you have thought this through," I replied, still taken aback. "But it would be my decision, correct?"

He stood quickly, "Of course! Yes, of course it would be your decision!" He ran a hand through his hair and approached the fireplace. "I would never appear to tell you how to handle your Arling." As he stared into the fire I could tell he was still nervous, his inability to decide where to put his hands a big clue.

Another lump formed in my throat as I looked down at the letter still folded up in my hand, "And then there is this." I hesitated a moment but extended it in his direction. "Unfortunately it changes everything."

His eyes darkened as they went from mine to the letter in my hand. He reached out and took it, searching for a seal. When he found none he unceremoniously opened it.

I watched his face as he read, the coil in my gut tightening as the moments passed. When he got to the third paragraph it must have dawned on him who the author was, his jaw slackening and his eyes widening as he continued. I pinpointed the exact moment when he got to the 'Inquisition' part…

And to the 'Inquisitor' part.

"Inquisitor," he whispered, his eyes moving to read over the paragraph again as he shook his head. Seemingly finished, the hand holding the letter dropped to his side as he gaped at me. His eyes were searching mine, looking for my thoughts on the contents of the parchment without verbally asking. I responded with a sigh and a nod, to which he responded with crumbling up the letter and throwing it on the table.

He turned his back to me, once again facing the fireplace, "So you'll accept." His tone was clipped, angry even, and I had no idea how to respond.

I decided to ask his opinion, "How do you think I should respond?"

He spun around, rage on his face and fear in his eyes, "Piss off is as good a choice as any!"

I laughed at the irony of that statement, "Yes, because telling the Divine to piss off is a splendid idea!"

He leered at me, "So you would just accept, no questions asked?" Ok, that pushed the wrong button.

I stood, facing him head on with my own brand of rage, "Do you forget I was a Templar? I served the Chantry faithfully and I continue to do so in my capacity as the Arlessa of Denerim! It was the only reason the Divine allowed me to leave the order, Cailan!" I put emphasis on his name, hoping to reign him in, tamp down his anger but it didn't seem to work.

He stepped closer to me, glaring at me, "Do you want to go back?" His voice was deadpan, emotionless.

Understanding ran through me like a river, "You think I'm choosing this," I snatched up the letter and shook it in his face, "over you?" Amazed at his response, I punched him in the chest with the same hand, "How could you be so narcissistic?" I then slammed the hand down on the table, making him jump. "I have no choice you ass! She is the Divine and she is asking for my help!"

I stomped over to the balcony, motioning to the city outside, "Do you see what's going on out there? More and more mages flood into our city, into our country, every day. Most are good, responsible people who are just scared, seeking shelter, but some are not. Some want chaos, some want death, and they need to be stopped."

Then I motioned toward the chantry, "And there, the same thing is happening! Most are good and responsible people but there are those who would kill any mage they came across simply because they are mages! All because a small group of mages decided to do something horrific and the only answer they could come up with is more death!"

I advanced on him, coming nose to nose with the man who, just a few moments ago, had asked me to marry him, whispering, "Who do you trust to be Inquisitor, Your Majesty?"

Not waiting for his answer, I turned and headed for the door, but stopped just short of it, "Think, don't react, and come to me when you have a decision." Grasping the knob, I turned it and opened the door slowly, taking a cleansing breath to steady my voice.

I didn't turn, didn't look back, I just spoke, "You can command me to abide by your wishes, we both know that. I can only hope that, when you finally decide, you can live with the consequences."

Slowly, I closed the door behind me and walked away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The messenger waited patiently for three days, eating and resting at his leisure. He was probably loving that it was taking so long for me to give him my response, it was like a vacation resort for him.

For me, it was torture. Cailan had yet to give me his decision and he also had yet to even speak to me. We had a custom of seeing each other once a day around noon at Alistair's memorial but he hadn't shown up since our argument. I would sit there, silently, and wait. When he didn't show I would put a hand on the nameplate, tell Alistair I loved him and go back to the estate.

However, on day four, he was there when I arrived, waiting. I sat down on the same bench, leaving space between us as always, and waited. I heard him heave out a sigh and saw out of the corner of my eye his head shake. I lowered my head, looking down at my hands in my lap as I waited for the onslaught but a finger appeared out of the corner of my eye, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

He cleared his throat then spoke, "I've missed you." I wanted to yell at him that it was his own damned fault but I knew that would do no good.

I sighed, glancing at him, "I've missed you as well." Not able to bring my eyes to his, they dropped back down to my lap, awaiting his next words. When none came, I looked back up at him and couldn't help but smile.

Cailan held a single pink flower to his nose, batting his eyelashes at me just above it. I took it from him, bringing it to my nose and breathing in its scent. Looking down at it, I twirled it around, watching the petals float through the air as I felt him slide closer on the bench.

I looked up at him, still spinning the flower in my fingers, "Is this an apology?" His nod was solemn and followed up with a loving smile that I returned. "You're forgiven."

"I don't deserve to be forgiven," he whispered, leaning in closer, but being sure to maintain a respectable distance. "I acted like an ass."

I chuckled, "I will not argue that." Tucking the flower into a pocket on my overcoat, I pondered how to bring up the subject of our tiff.

He did it for me, "I've made my decision."

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat, "And?"

He returned the nod and took a breath, "You are right, I would trust no other person in Thedas." The look he gave me was warm, but sad. "I just don't want you to go, that's why I reacted the way I did. I am selfish, especially when it comes to you." He moved to reach for me but stopped himself, grunting his frustration.

I smiled, letting out a quick giggle, "I'm aware, and I'm not overly fond of leaving either but we do what we have to do." Looking up at the statue of my dead husband, I released a sigh. "We all have had to share one another with the people of Thedas, some of us even making the ultimate sacrifice." My eyes found his. "I'm just glad at the end of the day you and I still have each other." A little nervous about how the next part would be taken, I cleared my throat and looked away. "When this whole business is done, if you still haven't found someone, I would be proud to be your wife."

He didn't make a sound, didn't move a muscle, and I had no way of knowing what he was thinking without looking at him. I bit my lower lip and slowly turned my head, terrified of what I would see. Annoyance, dismissal, anger, I didn't know what to expect. What I saw was surprise mixed with joy.

Cailan smiled and took a deep breath, nodding at me, "Then I will wait." He stood, bowed to me and walked away swiftly as I swallowed my heart back down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three months went by like the wind as I prepared for my departure. I met with Bann Mayer, inviting her and her family to the estate for a week to get a feel for her, and I agreed with Cailan that she was the best option to stand in for me. On the side, May and I decided she would remain in the Bann's service and report to me as things progressed through Ser Lyle, who would be my personal messenger until further notice.

Duncan was very excited about going to live at the castle but I could tell he was not keen on my leaving. I explained to him that I was to be an advisor to the Divine (once I agreed to take on the role of Inquisitor she made it clear that I would be necessary in that capacity as well) and that, once the talks were done and everyone was in agreement, I would be on my way home in no time. He wasn't enthused but he accepted that his mother was needed. He smiled and expressed interest in coming to visit, to which my reply was 'not until the countryside was safe'. He must have understood the underlying statement of 'hell no' and shook his head, returning to his studies.

Cailan and I had grown closer since our talk on the bench, first arranging to have dinner together at least once a week then eventually meeting in secret during the night to be alone. He never pushed, never said he wanted more but the looks he would give me and the warmth in the innocent touches told me he was willing.

One night I realized I was too and tried to say as much, "Cailan, do you think it would be… would you… should we, I don't know, see if…" His warm smile made me blush and look away. "Maker, I feel like a teenager."

He took my chin and tilted my face back toward him, "Love, whatever you want, whatever you are willing to give, I will take greedily and heartily. No more, no less."

He was a breath away, all I could see of him were his eyes and I was lost in them. Before I knew what I was doing, our noses were brushing against each other and then… our lips met.

In that instant I closed my eyes, breathing in all that was Cailan. Unwilling to let the moment end, I snaked my hand up his chest to grasp his neck, pulling him closer so I could take his lower lip between my teeth. A gentle nibble later and his tongue was caressing mine.

Every nerve in my body was on fire, dancing under his attention. His hands on my waist were pulling me closer but then one would snake around to the small of my back as the other combed into my hair from the back of my neck, giving him greater access to devour me… And I let him. When we finally parted we tried to catch our breath, slowly looking into each other's eyes and smiling wide.

I shook my head, disbelieving that it had actually happened, "Wow." I could still feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins and the heightening of my senses. "That was amazing."

Still panting, he grinned down at me as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, "Yes it was, more than I could ever have imagined." Just then his eyes grew sad. "I just wish we had more time."

That lump reappeared in my throat as I forced a smile, "Once this whole mess with the mages and Templars is sorted we will have all the time in the world." I gave his ear lobe a playful tug.

"I promise."