Author's Note: So I'm trying for consistency by releasing new chapters every Monday. Cross your fingers and hope that I can keep this schedule...
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Never have, never will. I simply play in their world.
Reviews: Read. Review. Repeat. You know the drill.
"You never knew
the stars had a flavor
until you first kissed him.
It turns out
they taste like ambition and ancient fire
desperation and self-destruction
determination and dark matter
and the mind-numbing fear
of being left
alone
again.
(he's not alone anymore.)"
-T.S.
Rey
The dagger digs painfully into my leg where I have it tucked away as we walk back to the awaiting ships.
I see Ren's new TIE in the distance and I must admit to sense of avarice when I look at it. I've never seen this design on a TIE before.
All sleek lines and built for speed.
For power.
I always wanted to fly a TIE, just to see if they maneuvered as well as the schematics I used to pour over as child said they could.
Our Wings are made for endurance, for battle and they are hearty ships and I am more than proud to have worked on several of them and no ship in the galaxy can touch the Falcon.
But that doesn't mean I didn't lust a little over his ship. Or the way my fingers itched to take it apart and see how it worked.
You have that look in your eyes again Rey.
I catch myself just in time hearing Ren's voice inside my head as we cross the wastes and get closer to our destination.
He hasn't said a word to me since giving me to his guards.
What look?
You seem more than passing interested in my TIE.
I turn my head as if taking in the scenery but my eyes skate over to Ren and I want to growl at the mask on his face.
I can't tell if he is teasing me or not.
Professional interest, nothing more. I'm curious to see how she was built.
I know a look of lust when I see it Rey.
We're at the the top of the cliff and another ship comes into view and I can't help but shudder at the sight of it.
This must be the Night Buzzard that his guards use and it is a cruel looking ship. The hull has seem some damage and the dull glint of black metal, the ragged front that is like a serrated blade, leave no illusion that this ship is meant to inspire fear.
I think I'd rather fly your ship than get into that.
I hear the ghost of laughter inside my head, stroking secret places that only he could ever touch.
I have no doubt that you can handle my TIE but I think...not.
Somehow I didn't think he would agree and I can't help but dig my heels in when they march me to that ship.
I really don't want to get into it.
Afraid I'm going to run off with her and never come back?
Are you saying you wouldn't given half the chance?
I growl when I see the manacles in the hands of one of his guards.
I had to try.
Ren takes the shackles from his man and moves closer to me.
So you did. You wouldn't be my Rey otherwise.
Butterflies a riot in my stomach at the intimate caress of my name.
"Turn around."
"Like hell."
"Don't make this difficult. I don't want to hurt you unnecessarily."
"I'm in the middle of a goddamn desert with no ship and surrounded by your guards. Where is it you think I'm going to escape to now?"
"I'm not concerned with you escaping. However your little trick with the lightning is enough to warrant the restraints."
"Oh? Did I terrify you?"
Am I the monster now?
"No. You impressed me."
Touching darkness doesn't make you a monster.
I blink both at his verbal and mental answers.
That last question...I hadn't meant to ask him and yet he heard me anyway.
Our bond was evolving somehow.
My moment of distraction allowed Ren to slip behind me and despite the eyes watching us, his hands are gentle when they pull my wrists behind my back and shackle them together.
It's uncomfortable but not painful.
I hate being bound like this.
I know but I promise it's only temporary.
"Take her to the Steadfast. Once she is back in my custody resume your mission."
"As you command Lord Ren."
I look to Ren and there are no words between us, nothing except a soft, gentle caress across my mind before he turns abruptly back to his TIE.
He may appear as Kylo Ren to everyone watching him but my Ben was still there.
Still inside and slowly breaking through.
Fingers wrapping around my arm and I snarl, pulling away from their brutal grip.
I allow Ren to touch me but that is it.
"I can walk on my own. Get your hands off of me."
I square my shoulders and walk up the gangplank and resolve to hold my temper no matter how much I am provoked.
I needed a clear head and my wits about me if I was going to get the answers I seek and get back to the Resistance.
My stay aboard the Steadfast would not be a permanent one.
The Steadfast
"So this is the the scavenger. I'm not impressed."
A pompous, nasally voice greets me as a I descend the Night Buzzard, my arms secured behind my back as the masked guards surround me.
General Hux is sneering at me.
Ren is already waiting in the hanger and my heart gives a painful leap in my breast. He's standing next to the Falcon.
So far it seems the ship is still in one piece and I'll take that as a good omen.
The men ignore the ginger-haired general and look to their master.
General Hux appears to have a distaste for being ignored. He marches over to where I'm standing, only a couple of inches separate us. I can smell his after-shave, like antiseptic mixed with wood smoke and it makes my eyes water.
I prefer the clean bite of frost and rain.
He tries to stare me down but I refuse to drop my gaze and take full measure of this new adversary.
Watery eyes and a rather weak chin that not even the severe lines of his uniform can hide.
He reminds me of the bullies on Jakku I had to contend with when I first struck out on my own. They thought because they were bigger than me that they could push me around and make me do what they wanted.
I didn't give in when I was only ten and I'm not about to start now.
He moves as if to touch my face and when his gloved fingers gets within inches of me and I turn and snap my teeth at him.
He yanks his hand back as if I was actually considering biting him.
Which I was.
"Don't touch me."
"Well you're a savage one. I must say you're well matched for..."
"For who General Hux?"
The color drains from his face when Ren appears behind him and I don't bother trying to stop the smirk curling my lips.
He is quick to step away from me dropping his hand in the process.
Ren at my side and I sense Hux's hostility increase to a degree that surprises me.
The hate coming off of him is making my stomach cramp and I move closer to Ren.
I don't want this General anywhere near him.
I have no doubt that if Hux could kill him without repercussions he would.
"I'm speaking of the Resistance Supreme Leader. We all know how uncivilized they are."
He's lying and doing a poor job of it.
Ren holds his silence but I don't.
"I'll take that as a compliment then if civilized means staining my hands with the blood of innocents."
Hux looks at me and I bare my teeth at him.
"I can smell the blood and death on you General," I snarl the words at him and his face blotches with color, "so I don't give a damn what you think about me."
He gives me a delicate sniff and once more turns his sight on Ren.
"General Pryde will want a full report on how you captured the scavenger."
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I have never felt such anger as I do for this man.
I swore I was going to keep my temper but I hadn't counted on this.
He speaks to Ren as if he were beneath him. Worthy of his contempt and as far as I can tell he isn't good enough to lick his boots.
"You're jealous."
Hux and Ren stare at me and I lift my chin. Neither one could fail to hear the scorn I don't bother to hide. I know Leia told me to let go of negative emotions but I am not going to stand here and listen to this bullshit.
"Excuse me?" Hux sneers at me, "I don't think-"
"You heard me," I look at Ren, "Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader,"I turn back to Hux, "and you are nothing but a lackey."
His face has turned apoplectic with rage and his hand lifts without warning and I know he's about to strike me.
I can't defend myself and I refuse to look away but in the one second that it takes me to blink Ren has his hand wrapped around Hux's wrist, the pressure forcing the man to his knee's before me.
"Let...go!"
Hux is trying to pry apart Ren's grip, his face contorted in pain but Ren refuses to release him.
In fact as far I can tell he doesn't even notice the struggle his general is putting up.
"Let this be a reminder the next time you dare raise your hand to her."
I hear the wet snap of bones breaking as Ren gives his wrist a vicious twist.
Hux doesn't have time to scream before I see the whites of his eyes and he slumps over, unconscious from the pain of his now broken wrist.
Ren releases him and looks at the Stormtroopers on duty in the hanger.
"Get him out of my sight."
They obey his order with alacrity.
Perhaps I should have felt pity or a touch of horror for Hux at the brutal treatment he just received from Ren.
But I don't.
I've dealt with men like Hux nearly all my life. Men who believe that they are above everyone else and choose to prey the weak to heighten their own self-importance.
I feel nothing but disdain and I hope when he wakes up it hurts like hell.
"Come with me."
I look back to Ren and have the sudden urge to laugh. Where else am I going to go but with him.
However I won't antagonize him.
After all he did just break a man's wrist for my sake.
I hear metal scrapping across the floor behind me and I shift my stance away from his guards despite the fact that my wrists are bound behind my back.
I turn to see the one he calls Vicrul reaching for me as if to force my compliance to Ren's order.
I feel my temper spiking despite the fatigue still grinding my bones.
"I can walk on my own. Don't touch me."
How many more times do I have to repeat myself before they get the hint?
He looks at Ren and something passes between them as he backs away from me.
Ren moves from the hanger to the open corridor and I fall into step next to him and there is a silence that coils between us, a rising tension that makes me hyper aware of him.
The brush of his cloak against my shoulder, the soft circulation of his breath, the smell of leather from his armor.
We walk side by side through his ship and I see a myriad of expression cross the faces of the people who gaze at our passing.
Curiosity. Hostility.
Feigned ignorance as though what their Supreme Leader does is none of their business.
Perhaps it's not.
Despite the fluctuating emotions my presence has caused we continue unimpeded towards our destination.
Wherever it is he's taking me.
I count five corridors, two left turns and a right before we come to a halt.
There is nothing to distinguish this door from any of the others as Ren presses the palm of his hand to the key pad.
The door slides open silently and he motions for me to enter.
I sigh and walk through, wondering if I just consigned myself to some new cage.
The room is more spacious than I could have imagined. The walls are pure white, almost sterile yet I see a workstation in the far corner and there are steps that lead down to what looks like a living quarter.
I move further in and a sense of disorientation comes over me.
There in the far corner I see a window with a small padded seat.
A memory teases from long ago...
Ren...a black robe that parted revealing the strength of his body...a worn, leather book that speaks of a dead planet...haunted eyes as I press a kiss to warm skin, whispering that all of this was dream...just a dream...
"I've been here before...this place it's..."
"My personal quarters."
I turn in time to see the door shut behind Ren.
It was the just the two of us now.
Alone and in his room.
My heart stutters and my breath catches as he moves closer to me.
"You carry interesting objects on you Rey."
His hand lifts and I see the Sith dagger that his men had taken from me when I entered their ship as they had searched me for hidden weapons.
Somehow I am not surprised to see him holding it.
I wonder if he can read those runes and I quickly bury the thought and hold my silence.
There are questions I need to ask him but I sense now is not the time.
He moves past me and places the dagger gently down on his workstation along with the lightsaber he took from me in the desert.
I see him hesitate for a fraction of a second before reaching inside his cloak and pulling out an object that is familiar to me.
Shock leaves me unable to move as he places the necklace that he stole from me next to the other items on his table.
Has he been carrying it this entire time? Why?
I remember the vision it granted me of our son...did he...could he have...seen the same thing?
"I," there is a lump in my throat and I have to swallow past it so I can speak, "can't believe you still have that."
"Did you expect me to destroy it?"
It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him yes I did expect that...and its then that I realize he hasn't taken off his mask.
We are alone and yet Kylo Ren remains in place.
"What happened to your face?"
His question is unexpected and I move to touch the patch of dried blood I can feel on my skin but my hands are still strapped behind my back.
I turn away from him while trying to relieve the pressure in my shoulders.
The whisper of cloth brushing against the floor, scorching heat at my back and the touch of soft leather on my skin.
The scent of ice and rain surrounds me and I feel lightheaded by his close proximity.
The manacles falls away and I can bend my arms again.
I can't help but groan as I rub the circulation back into my wrists.
"Look at me Rey."
I refuse and keep my back to him, crossing my arms to hold them tighter to me. His room is chilly and my skin pebbles in response.
At least that's what I'm telling myself.
"Why won't you speak to me?"
"I...I don't want to talk to you while you wear that mask."
I'm struggling to keep my words soft, my voice calm.
I don't want to fight with him.
Not here. Not now.
Silence stretching between us until I want to scream and then I hear a strange hissing noise, like pressure from a valve being released from behind me.
"Is this what you want?"
I close my eyes as his midnight voice echo's through me. No longer distorted but holding that sensual caress that leaves me trembling.
I'm already turning to look at him.
Drowning eyes of darkness stare back at me, the raven tips of his hair brushing the edges of his cloak and I dig my nails into my skin to stop myself from going to him so I can push back those careless strands that fall over his eyes.
"Yes."
I watch as he slowly pulls off his gloves, placing them next to his mask.
He closes the small distance that separates us and I notice that his hand is shaking when he lifts it to my face.
He seems just as nervous as I am.
His fingers brush the cut along my cheek and I flinch from the sting it causes.
A frown tugs at his mouth and I feel the delicate trace of his power over my skin.
I close my eyes at the pleasure his touch evokes and feel the pain ebb away as his power flows into me.
He healed the wound on my face as if it was nothing to him.
"Tell me who hurt you."
He is not going to let this go until I give him an answer.
I pull away as the reality of our situation once more comes between us.
"Your sharpshooter got off a lucky shot."
His hand drops to his side, clenched into a tight fist and I see the first embers of rage reflected in his gaze.
"I gave specific orders you were not to be harmed."
I shrug my shoulders and cock an eyebrow at him.
"It's called war. Nothing ever goes as planned."
He doesn't look mollified in the slightest.
I sigh and rub my hand across the back of my neck.
He is making this difficult.
"Why did you bring me here Ben?"
A flicker in those dark depths when I call him by that name.
"My quarters are well secured."
"Meaning?"
Again that strange flickering light in his gaze, like fractured starlight that has my blood thrumming and all my instincts honed to a razor's edge, desire grabbing me by the throat.
"There is no surveillance in my personal space. No monitor feeds, no comm's listening in."
White noise fills my head.
"So," why does my voice sound so breathless, "you're saying...no one can see us? No one can hear us?"
"No one Rey. It's just the two of us here."
My legs are shaking as I move back to him. I can't look away from his face.
His eyes are so open to me, I can see the terrible yearning inside of him. I can feel the chaotic swirl of his emotions.
Desire and need that are living pulse beneath my skin, the abyss of his loneliness that pulls me under.
Thoughts of the war, of the mission and the reason I came here in the first place, fall away.
All I feel is his pain, his terrible need and know that I am the cause of this storm inside of him.
But I know how to calm his chaos.
I hope.
"Good."
I grab the folds of his cloak and pull hard so that I can reach his mouth and press my lips to his.
I've wanted to do this since I saw him standing there in the desert.
I feel him shudder and for a second I fear he's going to push me away but then his mouth yields to mine, a hoarse groan that spills into me as his arm wraps around my waist.
His hand tangling in my hair and I'm the one yielding to him now.
Our tongues dueling, my fingers sliding into the cool silk of his hair and I'm pressed up against something hard and I don't care what it is.
His mouth on mine. His arms around me, I drown in the feel of him.
There is no blood in my veins, only liquid fire.
There is no thought but one in this storm I thought to tame.
I've come home.
