"Wow Liv, you look amazing."
Olivia looks down at her dress and then up again, wincing. "You don't think it's too much?"
Lucy shakes her head from her bedroom door, awe-stricken. "Not at all. It's perfect. Right, Noah?"
Noah looks up from his iPad, moon-eyed and breathes out a small "wow". "You look beautiful mom."
Olivia's heart melts at her son's words. She swoops over to her son and bends down to kiss him on the forehead, then his cheek and then his chest, stirring bubbly giggles from him. "Thank you, sweetheart."
Then she walks back to her mirror, taking in her reflection once more. She's wearing an off the shoulder, glittering black dress that dips between her breasts, showing whispers of skin. The dress hugs her curves and rests just above her knees. Her freshly curled hair falls in soft, caramel-coloured waves, softening her frame. Smokey eyeshadow, rich-wine coloured lipstick, silver hoop earrings, an ebony pendant necklace and black heeled pumps finish the look. Olivia was planning on keeping it simple, but Lucy insisted she wear the black dress and jewellery too, "You never get to go out and wear something new. This dress will look so elegant on you, just please try it on."
Olivia purses her lips together, shaking her head a little. "Okay," she says, accepting her outfit. "It's too late to change anyway." Olivia reaches for her bag, checking her phone for the time. She turns to Lucy and asks, "Are you sure you don't want to join us? You drove all this way and I feel terrible that we got the dates mixed up. It won't be a bother to call the restaurant and add one more seat to our reservation. And Noah would love you to be there, right honey?"
Noah smiles, but Lucy shakes her head. "I don't want to intrude. Besides, now that I have the night free, I'll be able to catch up on some errands. Let me drive you two there though."
Olivia frowns. "Are you sure?"
Lucy nods, taking out her keys. "It's on the way back to my place anyway."
Olivia wants to protest, sure that Lucy's apartment is in the opposite direction. But Lucy is already heading out the door with Noah in tow, eagerly asking if he can pick the music. So, Olivia brushes the thought aside and follows them out the door.
Olivia can't help but notice the cheeky smile and mischievous look Noah shares with Lucy, as if they are sharing a secret, one that involves her.
…
They arrive on time. To Olivia's surprise, Lucy passes the driveway and parks at the back of the restaurant, telling Olivia that she needs to use the bathroom before driving back. Noah also says that he needs to go, and Lucy offers to take him with her. Olivia doesn't think twice about this.
Olivia pauses to take in the restaurant. It's modern, with floor to ceiling arch windows and a string of paper lanterns dangling above the doors. When she steps inside, she sees that the floors are made of oakwood and the walls of cobblestone. Instead of chairs, each table has creamy white lounges lined with fluffy pillows. An electric fireplace divides the bar from the dining area, emitting a warm glow.
Olivia approaches the hostess and asks for the booking under 'Stabler.' Then she follows her down to a sequestered table at the back of the restaurant. Olivia pauses when she notices the two velvet couches surrounding their table, enough to fit four people.
Olivia turns to the hostess. "Oh, we're going to need another two chairs. There's six of us tonight."
The hostess frowns. "I believe the booking was made for two."
Olivia blinks. "Two? No, that can't be right-"
Her phone dings, grabbing her attention. Olivia reaches for her phone and sees a new text message.
Kathleen: I'm sorry Liv, Dickie, Maureen, Lizzie, Eli and I won't be able to join you. I hope you and Dad enjoy your evening!
Olivia frowns when she reads the message, an uneasy feeling settling within her. Olivia shakes her head and mutters under her breath, "Kathleen, you didn't…"
Olivia raises her head and sees the hostess near the front of the restaurant again, speaking to Lucy and pointing her way. Soon, Noah is bounding over with an ear-splitting grin. He crashes into her waist and Olivia crouches down, immediately scooping him up in a tight embrace.
"Hi honey," Olivia lifts her head up at Lucy, casting her a confused look. "What is this?"
Lucy winces. "Coming over wasn't part of the plan, but Noah wanted to say goodbye."
"Plan? What plan?"
Noah embraces her with a huge smile. "The plan for your big date mom."
Olivia almost chokes. "My what?"
Lucy sees her dumbfounded look and explains, "I'm sure by now you know that Kathleen and her siblings aren't coming?"
Olivia stands up slowly, her eyes narrowing onto her babysitter. There's a warning ringing in her tone when she asks, "Lucy, what's going on?"
Lucy beams at Olivia. "What's going on, is that I will be taking Noah home, and you and Elliot can treat yourself to a night off."
Olivia's eyes widen. "You two planned this?" Then realisation hits her. "This is why you wanted me to wear this dress?"
Lucy almost laughs at her stupefied expression. "Come on Noah," she says, reaching for his hand. "Let's leave your mom to it." Then she leads him out of the restaurant. Noah turns back one last time to wave with another cheeky grin.
Olivia breathes out an incredulous laugh. She leans back against the edge of the armchair and runs her fingers through her hair, shaking her head, as if she can shake off the nerves that are suddenly building within her. She wonders if Elliot knows.
As if on cue, she sees him walking in from the corner of her eye. He's wearing a suit, blue shirt with a black tie, dressier than what he usually wears outside of work. Olivia wonders if he also had someone – Kathleen – advising him of what to wear.
Elliot frowns as he approaches their table, his eyes shifting between the two small lounges. "Is this going to fit all of us?"
Olivia laughs, shaking her head slightly. "Didn't you hear? Apparently, we've been setup." Seeing his confused look, she asks, "Have you checked your phone?"
Elliot reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, seeing a new message from his daughter. Realisation dawns in his eyes as he reads it.
"So, they're not coming…and this is a…"
"Date, apparently." Olivia says it nonchalantly, trying to disguise the quiver of nerves in her stomach.
Elliot swallows, looking around the room once more, as if sure that they still might emerge. "So ah, it's just us then?"
Olivia sees his discomfort too. She takes a steady breath and exhales. "Look, I don't see why we can't enjoy a lovely meal? This place is well reviewed, and I haven't enjoyed a night off in weeks."
Elliot nods slowly. "Sure, why not?"
They both settle into their seats, glancing at the drink's menu. It's silly that Olivia feels so nervous. She's dined with Elliot alone plenty of times. But never in an elegant restaurant, or wearing a dress like this, with their children thinking they are on a date.
"Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Your house Borolo, for two?" Elliot turns to Olivia with a raised eyebrow, seeking her confirmation. He sees her look of surprise and clarifies, "You're favourite, right?"
Olivia nods slowly, a small smile softening her lips. She's touched that he remembers.
"Coming right away sir."
Elliot turns his attention back to Olivia, then he takes her in for the first time. Under the paper lantern, yellow light plays across her features and baths her in a warm glow. She looks radiant. His eyes drag down her black dress, lingering on her neckline, where he sees whispers of skin and the swells of her cleavage rising and falling with her breaths. Flushing, Elliot quickly drags his eyes back up to her face, studying her dark, lustrous eyes, caramel-coloured curls and rich, velvety red lips.
Memories of their years under cover drift back to him. He remembers the transformations she would go through when stepping into a new character, new dress, new hair, new makeup, new relationship with him… In those moments, Elliot had suppressed any flicker of desire he felt towards her, the burn of his wedding ring and phone call to Kathy enough to keep his desires at bay.
But tonight…
"Elliot?" Olivia asks tentatively. She tilts her head to the side, wincing at him curiously. "Is everything alright?"
Elliot shakes his head quickly. "Yeah, I just…" He pauses, exhales, and takes her in once more. "You look stunning tonight Liv."
"Oh…" Olivia drips her head down, blushing. She raises her head and takes him in his freshly ironed suit. "You look great too. Did Kathleen pick the suit?"
Elliot looks down, surprised. "Is it obvious?"
Olivia laughs, then Elliot laughs with her. And in that moment, they feel the tension break. The waiter comes back and pours them two glasses of wine, before leaving the bottle on the table.
When he leaves, Olivia rests her elbows onto the table and brings her hands together, looking serious. "Okay, so what's the game plan for tonight?"
Elliot raises an eyebrow. "Game plan?"
"Well, our kids are expecting us to have a date. So, how do we want this date to go? What are we telling them when we get back?"
Elliot takes a sip of his wine and leans back into his chair, looking thoughtful. He pauses, then studies Olivia curiously. "Well, how do your dates usually go?"
Olivia is taken back at the question. She studies him for a moment, then says, "That depends. Is it a first date?"
Elliot shrugs. "Say it is."
Olivia nods slowly, sipping her wine. "Then it depends on my date. How charming and attractive he is…" Olivia leans forward, her elbows sliding across the table slightly. She lowers her tone, a sparkle in her eye. "And if he can make me fall for him."
Olivia's eyes flicker down his frame than back up again, his eyes more intense than before when their eyes lock again. There's something in her look that makes his heart race, has him leaning forward, pulling him towards her…
Then Olivia breaks eye contact, taking a swing of her wine. "In this case, maybe we can just let them know that we shared a great meal and had a lovely evening?"
Elliot's face falls. "What are you trying to say?"
Olivia raises her eyebrows and casts him a, you know what I'm saying look, before sipping her wine.
Elliot looks offended. "You don't think I could seduce you?"
There's a playfulness in his tone, but Olivia can see that he's serious. "Do you want me to answer that?"
Elliot casts her a cocky smile. "Trust me Benson, after a date with me, you would be begging me to come inside your apartment."
Olivia almost snorts. He can't be serious. She studies him again, a playful glint in her eye. "Okay Stabler, then show me. How would you have me climbing into bed with you?"
Elliot raises his eyebrows mid-drink, sure he misheard her. Olivia arches an eyebrow and casts him a challenging stare, showing him she's serious. Elliot drains the rest of his wine in one swallow and then pushes his glass aside, taking on her challenge.
"Well for starters, I wouldn't be sitting here by the end of the night."
Elliot stands and goes to sit next to her on the couch, turning towards her, so close that their knees are almost touching. He hears her inhale sharply and smirks.
"Then depending on how you respond, I might move closer…"
Elliot inches further and reaches for her hand, his thumb ghosting over her knuckles. Olivia's heart accelerates under his touch, each stroke of his thumb sending shivers licking her spine. Then Elliot's fingers skim up the curve of her neck, pushing aside her curls and gently lifting her black pendant in-between his thumb and finger.
He says, "I haven't seen this before."
Olivia swallows, trying not to think about how close they are. She tries to hold her voice steady as she breathes, "You wouldn't, it's new."
Elliot's eyes are darker than before as they flicker back up to hers. "It suits you." He pushes a few waves of her hair aside and says, "brings out your eyes."
Olivia's eyes lock onto his, feeling the gravitational pull towards him grow stronger as his thumb brushes over the back of her hand. Olivia raises her eyebrows and manages to ask, "This another one of your moves?"
Elliot smirks. He ignores her question and continues. "After the night, I would pay for dinner and insist on walking you home. I would take your hand," Elliot intertwines his fingers with hers as he speaks, sending her heart racing once more. He tilts her chin up so their eyes are locked together then whispers, "Then walk you to the door and kiss you."
This is wrong. The effect Elliot is having on her, making her heart slam wildly against her chest and leaving her breathless. He is gradually closing the space between them as he talks, until they're inches apart. He's so close that his words are like a kiss of breath to her jaw, so close that his spicey, musky scent envelops her. His tone is hoarser too, thick with desire. His eyes are intense, looking as if they could devour her whole.
Olivia can't drag herself away.
"The kiss will be slow, deep and sensual…and we won't stop until we're both breathless." Elliot runs his thumb over her lower lip and hears her breath catch in her throat once more, can see her struggle at maintaining her composure. He smirks. Then he trails his fingers down her jaw and over the slope of her neck, murmuring, "Then I'll trace patterns down your neck and collarbone, although I won't be using my fingers."
Olivia can't think, can't breathe. She's lost in his eyes, in his voice, in the gravitational pull towards him, her mind swimming with images of his lips on her mouth, her neck, her breasts…Olivia swears she can see his eyes darken with the same desire flooding through her.
Then Elliot pulls away, breaking the tension. Olivia exhales a deep beath she didn't realise she was holding. She swallows, trying to calm down her rapid breathing.
Olivia clears her throat. "Well, you seem overly confident that this would work."
Elliot casts her another cocky look as he pours them both another glass of wine. "You don't?"
Olivia eyes him with raised eyebrows. "It's not that easy to get a kiss from me after one date Stabler."
There's a flirtatious glint in his eye. "I think I could win you over Liv."
Olivia's breath catches in her throat once more. She searches his darkened eyes, then quickly looks away, breaking the tension. She stands, her chair screeching at the sudden movement.
"I need to run to the bathroom, excuse me."
Then Olivia turns on her heel before she he can respond, heading out the doors. Once she's safely inside the female's toilet, she hurries over to the sink and rests her hands on the edge or the sink, taking in a few deep, calming breaths.
"Get it together Liv," she mutters.
What the hell is wrong with her?
She lifts her head up and examines her reflection. Her cheeks are still warm and a little pink. Her chest is heaving, rising and falling with her shallow breaths. Olivia shakes her head. She wants to scream.
It took her ten years to get over him, but only minutes for him to creep under her skin and have her falling for him, again.
Olivia knows it was a bad idea, challenging him to flirt with her. They're playing with fire, roleplaying this date under the pretence that this is all pretend, as innocent as it was when they would go undercover. Although she knows that even back when they were undercover together, it was never entirely pretend, at least not for her…
Olivia wants to splash water on her face to ground herself but doesn't want to smudge her makeup. So, she settles for washing her hands. She needs to go back out there. They need to stop flirting. She needs to remind herself that none of this is real.
Then Olivia remembers the way Elliot looked at her, with fire in his eyes. She knows his desires for her are obvious. But they just can't risk going there, not after how long it took them to get to where they are now. Talking, stable, easy.
Olivia dries her hands and walks back out the door, ignoring her desires for him that keep resurfacing and the thought in the back of her mind that keeps pulsing like a throbbing papercut. You don't want easy. You want him.
Elliot's head snaps up when she returns, his eyes falling on her. His eyes round with awe once more, absorbing her image.
Olivia pauses as she reaches for her seat, arching an eyebrow. "Elliot, you're staring again."
Elliot's not sure if it's the two glasses of wine smothering his inhibition or if he's fallen too deeply into the role, but the words slip from his lips before he fully registers them. "You're breathtaking Liv, really."
Olivia's breath jumps in her chest, and she lowers her eyes, avoiding his gaze. She sits down and her eyes flicker back up to his. "Is this another one of your moves?"
Elliot shrugs, his eyes never leaving hers. "Something like that."
Olivia glances down at the menu, only to avoid his gaze burning warm onto her skin, trying to push aside all feelings and desires she has for him. Her eyes drift down the menu items…Tagliolini con Lobster Ragu all' Amatri-ciana, Osso Buco Agnolotti Dal Plin, Cavtelli con Scampi Fra' Divola…
"So, would you be calling me after our first date?"
Olivia raises her head. She sees a cocky smirk curling at the corner of his mouth, his tone playful once more. Olivia leans forward on her elbow and eyes him. "Why do I have to call first?"
Elliot lifts his shoulder in a shrug. "I seduced you. I feel like it's only fair."
"And if I called, would you answer?"
Her tone is quiet, sombre, something like sadness softening in the brown pools of her eyes. Elliot's face fall, hearing the deeper message in her question.
"Liv…"
"Good evening, are you two ready to order, or would you like another few minutes?"
They both look up, seeing the waiter at their table, notepad at the ready.
"I'm ready," Olivia says, tearing her gaze away from Elliot and looking back at the menu.
She orders the Tagliolini lobster, and Elliot orders the Agnolotti Dal Plin and then adds, "I'll have a side of fries too. Liv?" He glances at Liv, but she shakes his head. "Just for me then."
"Very good sir, I'll be back shortly."
When the waiter leaves, Olivia folds her arms, staring at him expectedly. "You didn't answer my question. If I called, would you answer?"
Elliot tenses, sensing the tension rising within her. "What's this about Liv?"
Olivia's eyes harden onto his. She opens her mouth and then closes it, shaking her head. She mutters, "Forget it."
Elliot frowns. "You're upset."
Olivia takes a sip of her wine and looks into her glass, silent.
Elliot studies her. He's spent twelve years watching her from across his desk, studying every expression that would furrow her brows, raise her cheeks and crinkle lines between her forehead and around her eyes. He knows she's pissed.
"Liv, talk to me." He sees her exhale slowly, her frown deepening, as if trying to collect her words together. As he watches her, her previous words drift back to him, and it dawns on him.
If I called, would you answer?
"Are you still mad at me for leaving?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just-" Olivia stops, sighs heavily, closing her eyes.
How can she explain how she feels? She can be with him at one moment, happy, content. Then any reminder of his betrayal triggers the flood of hurt and betrayal she felt ten years ago and the deep trepidation that at any point, he could leave her all over again.
Elliot sees her frustration and internal conflict. He reaches for her hand, trying to reach her. "Liv, I said I'm sorry. What else can I tell you to make this right?"
"One call Elliot, you couldn't give me one call."
Olivia pulls her hand away, returning her attention back to her glass. She feels the heat of his gaze on her, senses his growing anger. Good. She's angry too.
"When will you forgive me?"
Olivia shoots him a furious glare. "You're really asking me that?"
Elliot's jaw tightens. He closes his eyes, pressing his fingers to his temple. He exhales slowly, as if he can blow out his stress. Then he says, "Liv, I hate myself every day for what I did to you. If I felt like I had a choice at the time-"
"You had a choice, Elliot. You made it."
"Liv, I chose Kathy. I chose my family."
Olivia's breath stops short, surprise blooming in her eyes. She searches his eyes, sees the look of hopelessness sinking in his gaze. He hasn't told her that before.
"I had to choose them," Elliot whispers, emotion hitching in his voice. "And I knew if I called you, if I so much as heard your voice…I wouldn't be strong enough to follow through."
Olivia lowers her eyes onto her wine glass, reflecting on his words. She says quietly, "I didn't know it was about choosing Kathy."
Elliot stifles a dark chuckle. "It was always about choosing her. I know I made mistakes, but I don't want to lose you again. What can I do to make this right?"
Olivia raises her eyes, taken back at his question. She's silent for a moment, then says "Since you've returned, you never once asked me what happened in my life while you were away."
Elliot bows his head, his eyes shadowing with remorse. It's true. These days they've been spending more time together, but their topics have been safe, barely cracking the surface; Noah, Elliot's family, Olivia's squad and reminiscing on the old days. Elliot knows she went through hell. Finn mentioned it in passing at the wedding, Liv went through hell and back Elliot…
Since then, Elliot's mind has been flooded with terrifying possibilities, all the way Olivia was hurt on the job. He wants to know but is too scared to ask. Too scared to confront what he let happen to her while he was away.
"You're right. I'm sorry Liv. I want to know, I was just..." Elliot stops, winces, then sighs heavily. "I was scared that if I found out what you went through, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"I was scared too," Olivia says softly, looking down at her hands, now intertwined together on the table. "Things finally feel good between us again. I didn't want to ruin that."
Elliot studies her for a moment. Then he reaches for her hands, gently pulling them apart and intertwining his fingers with hers. He catches her gaze with his own. "You could never ruin that Liv. And I want to know, really. I want to hear what you went through."
Olivia searches his eyes, and she can see he means it. The past ten years flash through her mind. Lewis. Simon. Ellie Porter. Tucker. Sheila. Olivia closes her eyes, feeling like she could collapse just thinking about it all.
Olivia opens her eyes and casts him a small smile. "I want that too, more than anything El. But…not now, or here," she tilts her head to the side, gesturing to the crowds of diners surrounding them.
Elliot nods, understanding. "Whenever you're ready."
Olivia blows out a heavy breath she didn't realise she had been holding in all night, feeling as if she unloaded a huge weight. They haven't talked yet, but it's a promising start.
"So, what do you think the kids are doing right now?"
Elliot meets her eyes and shares a smile with her.
They spend the next hour, drinking, laughing and getting lost in conversation. Olivia is ravenous by the time the food arrives. Then she eyes Elliot's fries. He notices and without a word, pushes his plate forward. Olivia steals more than half of his fries by the end of the night. It feels like the good old days.
The waiter is clearing up their plates when a woman who can't be older than forty, wearing a ASPCA t-shirt approaches them, a basket of roses swinging in her arm. She bends down to Elliot's level and shows him the assortment of colourful roses, casting him a charming smile.
"Would you care to buy a rose for your date? It's five dollars for a rose, or ten dollars for a bouquet. It's going to a good cause."
Olivia opens her mouth to let her know that this is not a date, when Elliot says, "I'll take a bouquet of roses for my fiancée, Dianne."
Olivia almost chokes on her wine. Elliot casts her a look, a playful sparkle in his eye, as he hands the woman the money. "We're celebrating tonight."
"Oh congratulations," the woman says thrillingly, truly happy for them. "And how did you two meet?"
"Back in College," Olivia chirps in before Elliot can, meeting his eyes. "Chris asked me out after our first year. I said no, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He used to stand outside my dorm window with a boombox above his head, begging me to come outside."
The woman's eyes widen, her gaze shifting between the two of them. "Really?"
Olivia nods, taking a sip of her wine. "It kept going for years. Eventually he wore me down and thirty years later, we're engaged."
The woman hands Elliot a bouquet of roses, shaking her head in disbelief. "Goodness, you must have really liked her."
Elliot accepts the roses, never taking his eyes away from Liv as he speaks. "There's no one else like her."
Olivia's eyes bloom with surprise, his words stopping her breath short. She searches his eyes.
"Well, I hope you two have a lovely evening. And congratulations again."
Olivia doesn't even notice the woman leaving, too busy focused on Elliot and the bouquet of roses he's handing her. The velvet petals brush against her nose as she inhales the sweet, floral scent.
Then she raises her head, raising her eyebrows at him. "Dianne, really?"
Elliot raises his eyebrows too. "I wore you down?"
Olivia laughs, a breathy, bubbly thing. Then she pushes her bouquet of roses to the side and leans forward, studying him curiously. "So, Chris, say we get married, where would you take me?"
Elliot doesn't even skip a beat. "Venice, that's where we'd spend our honeymoon. In the evenings, we'd drink wine while drifting down the canals."
Olivia can't stop the sigh that escapes her lips at the blissful image, a part of her melting as she imagines being there.
"We would stay in a skyrise hotel that could overlook the river."
Olivia lets out a small mmm as she sips her wine, getting lost in the image. "It sounds expensive though. I hope Chris has a good job?"
Elliot chuckles, looking thoughtful once more. "He does, he works in finance. But they live a simple life…just the two of them, Noah, their kids…family."
Olivia's eyes widen at the mentioning of Noah, the one word shattering the illusion. Olivia's quiet for a moment, her thumb and finger twisting around the stem of her glass, then she says quietly, "We're just pretending, right?"
Elliot's cheeks lift into a hint of a smile. "Right."
Olivia looks down onto her lap. She thinks about how they got here this evening and almost laughs at the turn of events. She still can't believe Kathleen set them up like this.
Olivia suddenly says, "Did Kathleen talk to you this week, about us?"
Elliot raises his head, taken back. He senses where the question is coming from. "No, she never mentioned anything. I had no idea she was planning this."
Olivia nods slowly, thinking. Then she says, "Kathleen actually spoke to me last week, about us. I thought she might have spoken to you too."
Elliot leans forward, intrigued. "What did she say?"
Olivia parts her lips then closes them, hesitating. She's careful when she speaks, "She gave us her blessing to start a relationship, if that's what we wanted." Olivia stops, waiting for his response. Then says, "You don't seem surprised?"
"Well, I mention you a lot Liv, in passing." Elliot hesitates, his features tensing momentarily, then says, "You mean the world to me. And Kathleen knows that too."
He's said it to her before, but it still doesn't stop Olivia's heart from accelerating at his words. Olivia's voice is steady when she says, "El, Kathleen told me that you meant it when you said you loved me."
Elliot stills. They're silent for a moment. Olivia watches him, her hands wrapped tightly around her glass, waiting.
His voice is rough when he speaks. "It's true Liv."
His words knock the breath from her body, as it did so the very first night he disclosed his love for her. She's speechless.
Elliot sees her stunned expression and sighs, squeezing his eyes tight. "I tried not to Liv…it feels wrong to betray Kathy that way. I couldn't talk to you, could barely look at you after that night, without remembering what I did. But I can't help how I feel."
Elliot stops and meets her eyes. She hasn't moved, hasn't breathed, been holding onto a breath since he confirmed his love for her, immobilised with shock.
Elliot says softly, "Tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way Liv."
Olivia finally exhales. She closes her eyes, feeling the weight of her guilt crush her. When she opens her eyes, Elliot can see grief and remorse swimming behind her eyes. Olivia whispers, "You're not alone."
Olivia can't look into his eyes after she says this, too ashamed, too guilty, too mad at herself for falling for him after all these years. Then the pulsing voice in the back of her mind creeps up once more. Maybe you never stopped loving him.
Olivia looks into her glass and shakes her head, laughing incredulously. She looks back up at Elliot, disbelief in her voice. "What are we doing here Elliot?"
"I thought we were on a date."
"A pretend date, right?"
Olivia knows she's kidding herself. They moved past pretending the moment he bought her those flowers. Elliot knows it too.
He says, "Pretend, like all those times we went undercover before? As partners, as lovers, as husband and wife…"
Olivia swallows at his response, knowing that it's heading into dangerous territory. She toys with the stem of her roses on the table, anxiety building within her. He needs to stop.
But Elliot continues, his eyes sinking towards his wine, his voice quieter now. "Sometimes we would be undercover for days. I know it was only a role, but sometimes I pretended that it wasn't, that it was real."
It was in the roles that he could hold her, love her, be with her without the consequences.
Olivia understands. She whispers, "Sometimes I let myself believe we weren't pretending too."
Elliot lifts his gaze up from the glass, barely believing what he's hearing. He meets her eyes and sees the sincerity in her eyes. His heart soars. She's loved him all this time.
"So, what if we dropped the act?" Elliot asks, serious now.
Olivia's eyes bloom with surprise, not sure how to respond. Elliot reaches across the table for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.
"Elliot…" It's all she can muster, his name a stern warning ringing in the air.
Elliot doesn't listen to her. He brings their intertwined hands up to his lips and kisses her knuckles. Then he turns her hand over delicately and kisses her wrist, feeling her pulse race. Olivia closes her eyes, melting under his feathery light touches.
"Liv, I won't hurt you again. We don't have to pretend anymore."
Olivia opens her eyes. When she meets his eyes, she feels the last of her resolve melt, the icy walls enclosing her heart beginning to thaw. All she can feel is the touch of his fingers tracing patterns in the palm of her hand and the overwhelming desire to kiss him.
Elliot notices her change and the growing desire in her eyes. "What do you want to do Liv?"
Olivia leans forward, her eyes locking onto his. "I think you should pay the bill and take me home."
…
They're silent as they drive home, tonight hanging in the air. When Elliot pulls up at her apartment building, Olivia sees him grip the gear stick, unsure if he should park or not. Memories flash in her mind. Flash your lights when you get inside.
Olivia reaches for his hand and says, "Walk me to my door?"
They're quiet as they walk up the stairs to her door, Elliot's hand drifting from her lower back and then curling around her waist. At some point, Olivia leans further into his touch, the flowers still in her hands.
Then they're outside her apartment, and Olivia is leaning back against the door, Elliot's body inches from hers. Her eyes darken with desire, her heart galloping with anticipation. Olivia reaches for Elliot's hand, then drifts her hand up his arm until it curls around his bicep. She hears his breath hitch in his throat.
Her voice is husky when she asks, "So, what happens now?"
Elliot bends down and captures her mouth in his. Their kiss is slow, deep, and sensual. True to his word, it takes her breath away. Olivia angles her head and parts his lips, drinking him in. She feels his hand curl deeper into her waist, searing hot into her skin, and the other curls behind her neck before tangling through her caramel waves. The roses tremble in her hand, and she reaches for his shoulder to hold herself steady, being pulled deeper and deeper into his kiss.
He breaks away, but only briefly. Then he's burying his mouth into her neck, his mouth dragging hot, torturously slow kisses from her neck and over her collarbone, drawing a breathy sigh and then a moan from her lips. Olivia tilts her head back. The sensation of his mouth sucking the tender hollow of her neck is enough to make her knees quake with desire.
"El…"
Elliot smirks into her skin. Then he lifts his head up and kisses her once more, this kiss more tender than the one before.
Olivia is frazzled. She blinks once, then twice, trying to calm down her shallow breathing. When she looks up, she wants to kiss his smug smirk away.
Elliot's lips are still inches from hers when he asks, "So, how'd I do?"
His words from earlier that night drift back to her. I think I could win you over Liv.
Olivia laughs. "Still fishing for that invite to my bedroom Stabler?"
Elliot shrugs, his eyes glinting onto hers. "Your bedroom. Or maybe your kitchen for coffee?"
Olivia smiles. Her fingers drift up his chest to toy with the front of his shirt and she breathes, "I'd like that. But I need to check in on Noah. Raincheck?"
Elliot nods. "Raincheck. You'll call me then?"
Olivia bites back a smile and nods. "I'll call you."
This time, she doesn't ask if he'll answer. She doesn't need too.
Elliot's lips crack into a smile. He lingers at her doorway for another moment, his eyes taking her in once more, her flushed cheeks and dizzying smile, before he steps back. "Don't keep me hanging Benson."
Elliot watches her step back into her apartment door before he turns away.
Olivia steps inside her apartment and closes the door behind her, leaning back against the door. She closes her eyes and slips her fingers through her hair, shaking it out slightly. She wants to laugh and scream all at once. Did that really happen?
"Well, someone looks like they had fun."
Olivia opens her eyes and sees Lucy sitting cross-legged on the sofa, wearing an eager smile.
"So, how'd it go?"
Olivia casts her a stern look. "I'm not talking to you."
Olivia drops her handbag near the door and makes her way to the kitchen, searching for a vase. Lucy follows her and sees the bouquet of roses, her grin widening.
"It looks like it went well?"
Olivia places the roses in the vase and turns around, casting her sitter a stern look. "I can't believe you and Kathleen set us up."
Glee dances in Lucy's eyes. "You can thank me later. Just tell me how it went!"
Suddenly, they hear footsteps coming from the bedroom door. Olivia turns to see Noah out of bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
Olivia frowns and begins to make her way towards him. "Noah, what are you doing up?"
Noah lifts his head up at Olivia. "I heard you come in and wanted to know how the date went."
Olivia laughs, surprised at how invested her son is. She scoops him up into her arms and plants a kiss on his forehead. "You should be sleeping honey."
Noah looks up at his mom with wide eyes and asks, "Will you go on a second date with Uncle Elliot? Will he move in?"
Then Olivia realises. She thinks about how close Elliot and Noah have gotten lately and how much Elliot adores Noah, and Noah him. It's not about the two of them. It's about the three of them, Noah's new family.
Olivia meets Noah's eyes and says lightly, "How about I invite Uncle Elliot over tomorrow for dinner? That can be our second date, and you can be a part of it."
Noah's eyes light up with delight. "Really?"
Olivia nods and plants another kiss on his forehead. "Really, but only if you go to bed mister."
Olivia puts Noah back to bed, only leaving his bedside and closing his bedroom door when she sees that he's drifted off to sleep. When she returns, she sees Lucy sitting at their dining table with a cup of tea in her hands and another waiting for her.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me how it went."
Olivia laughs at her sitter's persistence and joins her. "It went…well, actually. We talked. And we might have…kissed."
Lucy's jaw drops.
"You made out and you lead with talking?"
Olivia nurses her tea, thinking. She looks up at Lucy and asks, "Are we doing the right thing here? For weeks we couldn't even be in the same room as each other. Now we're talking again, things aren't so…fragile anymore. I don't want to ruin that."
Lucy studies her friend for a moment. "I see the way you look at him Liv. You love him, right?"
Olivia doesn't say yes, but she doesn't deny it either. Lucy knows.
"Then don't hold back," Lucy says softly, her eyes firm. "You deserve to be happy Liv. Give yourself this."
Olivia's eyes widen, Lucy's words slowly sinking in.
Don't hold back.
…
Thank you for reading! Please review and let me know what you think. It was fun to write this one and I did put a lot of time into it, so I hoped it paid off! I love the idea of Kathleen parent trapping Liv and Elliot and am excited to see where this goes!
