Broud was furious, but he tried his best not to let it show.
Looking around in the circle of men, he realised that all of them agreed with the ridiculous punishment Brun had proclaimed for Zoug. He had no doubt that Brun would have liked not to punish the old man at all, or why else would he have decided on something that was purely symbolic? And the other men must know it as well, and still, they approved.
They were all against him, he realised - and he hated it. Once more, Ayla had caused nothing but problems for him. The woman had been careless and had deserved a good beating. Being pampered like she had been this winter had made her lazy and undisciplined. It had been an unlucky coincidence that she'd fallen on the hearthstones and lost the baby - how could they make him responsible? She might have lost it anyway, that's what the medicine woman had said, wasn't it?
No, Broud was not at fault here. He was in the right, yet nobody would see it. Once he was leader, he would make them see. And if they still didn't, well, he'd be leader, and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it, no matter what they thought. A leader's word was absolute, and once he was leader, he would -
It was then that a new thought hit him and stopped his train of thought dead: what if he wouldn't be leader? It seemed impossible, and yet, now that he thought about it, he remembered only too well what Brun had said years ago, on the training field when Broud had pushed Zoug to the ground: "You expect to control a clan when you can't even control yourself? Don't be so sure of your future, Broud."
He'd done his best to tell himself ever since then that Brun had only wanted to scare him into compliance. He wouldn't truly dare to make anyone else leader. But now Broud wasn't so certain anymore. Could it be that Brun intended to make good on his threat today?
Broud couldn't allow for that to happen.
"Now," Brun interrupted his thoughts, "we will deal with Broud. As I said before, his behaviour was unacceptable for a man of the Clan. He, a man, whose task it is to protect women and children, instead attacked a pregnant woman, causing her to give birth early. The baby was a boy and might have been a hunter one day. But as a result of the early birth the child died, and the woman nearly died as well. It's only due to our medicine woman's great skill and Mog-ur's ceaseless interceding with the spirits that she survived the ordeal."
Broud gritted his teeth at the words. If he was going to be punished, at least Ayla could have died as well - then the whole incident would at least have been good for something. As it was, it had only served to turn every man at the cave against him. Why did these things have to happen to him? Why was his temper so quick and volatile, just like the animal whose spirit was his totem?
His totem! Could it be . . . Broud fought to keep his racing thoughts from showing on his face. The Woolly Rhinoceros was known for being moody and unpredictable. He preferred to see it as strong and independent, but he had not missed what others said about the spirit who had chosen him.
What if all of this was a test from his totem? If Ayla - and this entire situation - was a test his totem was setting for him? He didn't know much about spirits, and the idea made him angry. Shouldn't his totem help him rather than make his life more complicated? Yet there were legends that told of difficult tests devised by the spirits, and always, when a man proved himself and passed the test, his reward was great.
Could all of this be a test? If so, his reward might be leadership. It should have been his anyway, but maybe, if he passed the test, it meant that there was something special to be happening under his leadership. He might be an outstanding, an exceptional leader the Clan would speak of in generations to come. Yes, that sounded right to him.
"Since Zoug was allowed to speak for himself, now Broud will have the same opportunity," Brun said, once more cutting into Broud's frantic thoughts. "Broud, what do you have to say for yourself?"
Broud thought quickly. His objections when it had been about Zoug had only served to bring Brun's anger, and everyone's disapproval, down on him. If he continued being defensive now, continued to speak his true thoughts, that wouldn't change. He would be seen as obstinate, an out-of-control man who might not be fit to be leader. It was time to change tactics.
How could he seem the most contrite? He imagined Oga, pregnant with Brac, imagined some other man beating her, causing her to lose her son. Yes, that might do the trick. If he kept thinking of Ayla as Oga, he might be able to go through with it.
Spirit of Woolly Rhinoceros, he addressed his totem silently, closing his eyes and lifting one hand to his amulet, this man doesn't know why you put this test before him, if that is indeed what this is. But he will prove himself worthy. Grant me your strength, and you won't be disappointed.
.-.-.-.
When Broud closed his eyes and touched his amulet, Brun was astonished. Was it possible that the son of his mate had realised the severity of the situation? So far, he hadn't been one to ask the assistance of his totem often or visibly. Then Broud began to speak.
"This man admits that his actions were rash and exaggerated," Broud said. "He should have corrected the woman with no more than a light cuffing. Her pregnancy was on the line, and he did not allow for that fact to enter his thoughts when she bumped into him. It is not how a man of the Clan, much less a future leader, should behave." There was some hesitation before he added: "This man deprived his clan of a potential hunter and endangered the life of a woman. He is shamed by his actions and will accept any punishment the leader sees fit. I am finished."
Despite his relief at seeing Broud's contrite words, Brun was uncomfortable. How was it possible that he had changed his mind so quickly? Or had he come to this conclusion during the past days, while he had been waiting for the men's meeting? But then, why had he argued for harsher punishment for Zoug? Brun sighed - Broud was a mystery to him, and he could see that the other men, too, were surprised.
"It is good that you understood that your actions were wrong," Brun said, trying to phrase it neutrally. He couldn't yet fully believe this change of heart. "Now I would hear from the other men."
"Goov would speak."
"Goov may speak."
"My mate has experienced several miscarriages," Goov began. "I'm sure that if she fell pregnant again, her pregnancy would be as precarious as Ayla's all the way through. After what has happened, I would fear for her safety, as I will fear for the safety of all women who will get pregnant from now on. I know Broud has always disliked Ayla particularly, but even so, how can we trust him around our pregnant women now? Who is to say he won't lose his temper with one of them as well? I am finished."
This was a question that Brun had asked himself, and he wasn't surprised that it was Goov who had voiced it - the acolyte was a thoughtful man, and deeply fond of his mate. He'd never blamed her for her inability to give birth to a child, and what had happened to Ayla must have affected them more than most, Brun thought.
"Crug would speak."
"Crug may speak."
The powerful hunter didn't often speak at formal meetings. Now, he gestured slowly, a deep frown on his face.
"I have always counted myself fortunate to be a hunter in this first-ranked clan with its excellent members, and I am including Zoug's mate in that. I will admit that I've always been uncomfortable with Ayla's differences, but I can't deny that she's a good medicine woman and a proficient sling-hunter. She is a valuable member of this clan, and she was pregnant with a future hunter. To see her treated like this for a small oversight has disturbed me. We men must correct the women, but what Broud did was no correction, it was born of unrestrained anger. The women owe us obedience, but we owe them protection in return. Broud did the opposite of protecting her. That is unacceptable for any man, but more so for a man who would be leader. I am finished."
Looking over at Broud, Brun noticed that he was gritting his teeth, his face working mutely, hands clenched into fists. Yet unlike what Brun had expected after Crug's accusation, he didn't speak out of turn. Good.
"Grod would speak," the second-in-command requested.
"Grod may speak."
"A leader is supposed to set an example for his men. All men need to be in control of their emotions, but a leader even more so. It's to him that the men should be able to look when they are unsure of how to behave, and a future leader should strive for no less. After the way he attacked Ayla, I've come to the conclusion that Broud is not that kind of man, and I wouldn't want to be second to such a leader. I am finished."
Short and damning, the opinion of his second stung Brun. And yet, was he not right?
"Mog-ur would speak," Brun's brother finally spoke up. Brun had already wondered if Creb would stay silent on the matter.
"Mog-ur may speak."
"There is not much to add to what the leader and the men have said," Mog-ur signed gravely, "but I would add the perspective of the spirits, as is my task as mog-ur. For the totems to be happy with a clan, its members need to behave according to our traditions, and each of us must strive to be the best they can be, for the good of the clan. For a woman to be wilfully disobedient or lazy, or for a man to be selfish or cruel – those are things that don't serve the good of the clan and therefore they upset the spirits. Broud was unnecessarily cruel to a woman and has caused much damage. The spirits do not look kindly upon such actions, and they will expect for him to be punished for straying from their path. I am finished."
All the men, including Brun, shivered at Mog-ur's words. The displeasure of their totems was a danger they always feared, and Brun hoped that his decision would appease them.
When no other man asked to speak, he got up, and at his sign Broud, too, rose to his feet.
"I will now declare Broud's punishment," Brun said. "The decision was always mine anyway, but I wanted to know how you felt. Broud, you attacked a pregnant woman, caused her baby's death and nearly hers as well. No man, and no future leader, can be allowed to act in this manner. As you have seen today, the men will not trust such a man, and the women will fear him when they should be able to rely on him for protection. You have admitted your error, but your words can't bring back the dead child, and they can't restore the loss of trust in you.
Broud, from this day on and for a full year, you will be the lowest ranked of the men, even below Zoug and Dorv. Moreover, you will not be allowed to hunt until the Clan Gathering. You may train with your weapons and repair them, but you may not use them on any living thing. When we leave for the Clan Gathering, you will stay behind and guard those who can no longer go. From that day on, you may hunt again."
Broud made to speak, but Brun held up his hand. "I am not finished. In a way, a leader is the man of the hearth for the entire clan. Like a man rules his hearth and must look out for the well-being of everyone living there, so the leader rules his clan and must look out for the well-being of all its members. It has become clear that you can't be trusted with this kind of responsibility."
With the men nodding along to his words, Brun felt confident that his decision would meet with their approval.
"A man as impulsive and reckless as you can't become leader. Brac is still very young and might not be ready once I am too old to lead. Therefore, I have no choice but to train another. Vorn is the right age, he will be a man soon and has shown much promise while training with the spear and the bola. Also, he is an attentive listener and doesn't scorn the advice of his elders."
Brun was well aware that it cost Broud all his willpower not to burst out shouting in anger, and he was clutching his amulet hard, as if to keep his hand from moving.
"Having to do this saddens me," Brun admitted. "I have failed you as the man of your hearth and your leader. I can't help but see part of what happened as my fault. I assumed that since you have the leadership memories, my example would be instruction enough, but it seems that I was wrong. Broud, I will instruct you together with Vorn in how to be a good leader. If you improve yourself, I will have a men's meeting before stepping down, and we will discuss whether you have bettered yourself enough to be worthy of leadership. But make no mistake: one more misstep and that chance will be gone. You will have to be an exemplary Clan man from this moment on, or you can never be leader. I am finished."
A deep ache spread though Brun's chest and stomach as he spoke the words. Never would he have imagined that he might have to choose another leader to follow him. Back when he had threatened it, some years ago, he hadn't truly believed it would happen. But now, he saw no other way. Broud would have to work hard on himself if he ever wanted to regain the esteem in which hunters should hold a leader for him to be successful, and Brun wasn't sure that he could do it.
"Broud, what do you have to say?"
For a while, Broud said nothing. He kept clutching his amulet and, for some moments, closed his eyes, breathing deeply as if to calm himself. Finally, he straightened himself and looked Brun directly into the eye as he spoke with tightly controlled gestures.
"The leader . . . is wise to put the good of the clan first in all his considerations. It is something this man still needs to learn. This man has been shamed by the words of the other men, but most of all, he has shamed himself through his inappropriate actions. He accepts the punishment and will strive to become the man the leader wishes he were."
.-.-.-.
Broud was ploughing through the snow, not seeing where he was going, crashing through the underbrush without feeling the scratches that twigs and thorns left on his body or the cold that seeped through his thick furs.
Now that the meeting was over, he needed to get away from the cave, away from the men and Brun who had humiliated him, who had taken everything from him. How dare they? How dare Brun take away what was his by right, and over a woman no less? An ugly, disobedient woman who no doubt would have raised an equally useless son. Broud had done the clan a favour by making sure the child would never grow up among them!
They were all blinded. To choose a woman over him, an Others woman who would never amount to anything, who should have been left to die a long time ago!
Broud would make them pay. He would fight down his anger, ignore the humiliation. He would let Brun lecture him like a child, would pretend not to begrudge Vorn his new position. He'd be the exemplary Clan man Brun expected him to be. He would gain back his place. And then, once he was leader, he would make them all pay for what they'd put him through.
"I swear it," he gestured as he stumbled onto a clearing far enough from the cave that he wouldn't be heard. "I swear I'll make them all pay!"
Out of breath, he sank to his knees in the deep snow and screamed, his face raised to the skies. He screamed until he shivered with cold and his throat was raw.
One day, Broud would have his revenge.
